by Rita Karnopp
"Oh, so it's now my fault he has this grand hostility toward me! I think you'd better think over who's being assaulted. Giles glares his hatred out at me every chance he gets. I'm not about to give him the satisfaction of cowering. Don't ask me to, because I won't." She felt Buck tense, but he remained still.
"Jim," Buck called out. "Where's Enos gone off to, haven't seen him all morning? Fact is, I haven't seen him since yesterday. Giles say anything to you?"
"Hasn't said a word, but I've noticed him looking around for Enos. Think those Crow got him last night?"
"Sure hope not," Buck said, urging his horse to pick up speed. "We're all in a heap of trouble if they did."
"What do you think, Sarah," Jim asked, leaning over his mount. "Think Crow got old Enos or was it some of your Blackfeet friends. You gonna watch them Injuns scalp us. Maybe you'll help them."
"Enough, Jim. We're friends, good friends. I'll let it pass this time. Don't press your luck with Sarah."
"Damn it, Buck. How could you want her now? Don't make sense to want a woman who'd willingly bed down with an Injun. I understood when you went sniffin' after her, being the General's daughter and all, but now, I don't understand it one bit."
Sarah read the disgust in his expression as he looked her over. Her love with Two Shadows had been wonderful; pure and honest. Jim made it sound dirty and loathsome. She glared back at him, chin held high.
"Haven't asked you to understand, have I?" Buck answered. "A man can't always explain these things. Just keep your comments to yourself. Ain't asking too much of a friend, is it?"
Sarah noticed Jim didn't answer. He rode off ahead, leaving them trailing behind.
"I'm sorry, Sarah. This kind of talk will die down after a while."
She shook her head. "Why can't you let me go back? Why insist I have to put up with this? You could easily take me back. If you did, they would reward you. They wouldn't hurt you, I promise. Besides, if we don't turn around soon, we won't need to worry about facing anyone. Giles is still planning on our rendezvous at Mule Creek Junction. Aren't you a bit worried why he's pushing so hard to get there by noon?"
When Buck didn't answer, she knew he'd begun to believe her. With Enos mysteriously gone...she stopped her thoughts short. Enos's body lay on a flat rock before them. His feet and hands were severed, nowhere to be seen. His scalp had been lifted, his eyes plucked from the socket. This wasn't the work of the Crow, it was Blackfeet.
"Don't look, Sarah. It's hideous," Buck said, pulling her against him.
"Enos deserved everything they did to him!"
"What are you saying, Sarah? He was a white man."
"Does being a white man excuse you from doing wrong? They took his scalp as a disgrace. They removed his eyes because they saw the land he wasn't suppose to see. They cut off his feet so he would never return. They severed his hands so he could never kill a Blackfeet again. If he had taken Laughing Eyes by force, they would have removed his manhood, also."
"Sarah, your words are offensive. Remain still!"
"The truth offends you, Buck? Did you expect me to feel faint and utter a womanly scream? I've seen worse," she said, glancing back at him. "Don't look so shocked. I've seen worse done by the civilized white man!"
"Sarah! I don't want to hear any more," Buck said, hurrying past the bloody sight. "You'd be wise to keep your opinions to yourself."
"The truth? You mean I should never tell what the white man does to the Indian. They are only heathens, it doesn't matter. But now if that heathen should strike out and retaliate in kind, one should be sure to shout it from the mountain top."
"Silence, Sarah. I would appreciate silence."
She clenched her jaw tight, tensed her back, knowing it irritated Buck when she drew away from him. She didn't care. He wasn't any better than Giles, he just didn't voice it as much. She shook her head, wondering where the white man's thinking got all mixed up. What made him think he was superior?
Buck swung alongside Jim, clearing his throat. "Mule Creek Junction is just ahead. Think we ought to hang back and..."
"No I don't. She may have you believing her story, but I think she's still working her game."
"What if she's right, Jim? You want to die? It might be smart to get a quick look around first, that's all I'm saying."
"What you two jawin' about?" Giles asked, sliding from his horse.
Sarah watched his nervous glances about, confirming her story. Jim and Buck didn't seem to notice.
They rode in and dismounted. Sarah sat on a rock, awaiting inevitable death.
"We'll rest here a few minutes, then press on to Fort Bryson," Giles said, working his way toward Sarah. "Jim, take those horses to the creek and let them drink. Buck, fill up those canteens with water."
Giles watched the brooding Sarah. Damn, how he hated her. He'd worked so hard to make the cavalry pay for what they'd done to his mother. Sarah had managed to ruin his carefully planned revenge. Her hair hung in disarray and her slightly swollen eye still boasted black and blue where he'd hit her days before. Even dressed in savage garb, her beauty shone through. It irritated him, he still wanted her.
She watched the men follow Giles's orders in silent obedience. She became acutely aware he'd moved in closer to her.
"Think you've won, don't you, Sarah? You're wrong. The only thing I regret is not having shown you what a good lover I can be. But soon, love. I won't let anything happen to you, until I've had my fill of you. As I see it, that could take all night. I'll keep my promise. I'll have you, Sarah. I'll take you time after time until I no longer want you. When I'm through, I'll turn you over to my men. You'll like them. They all look like Blackfeet warriors, the kind of men you prefer! When they're done with you, you'll be begging me to kill you, and I will."
She twirled around, facing Giles. "You disgust me. I'd sleep with anyone before I'd lower myself to you!"
Giles grabbed her arms and rammed her against his chest. "We'll see about that, love―"
"Take your hands off her, Giles, or I'll shoot you where you stand," Bucks said, his voice cold and unnatural.
She watched Giles stiffen, loosen his grip on her arms, but didn't fully release her. "This has nothing to do with you, Buck. We were just having a friendly conversation, weren't we, Sarah―"
Yips and cries from charging Blackfeet warriors rose above Giles's words. She glanced at Buck, then Jim, realizing they hadn't believed her warnings in the slightest. She pulled at her arm, attempting to free herself from Giles's grip, he tightened his hold.
She glanced up, noting the evil smirk that spread across his face.
"Watch what happens to your friends, Sarah. You might enjoy the savagery of it!"
"Take your filthy hands off me, Giles. Let your fake Indians kill me. I want nothing to do with you!"
"Oh, but that's the fun of it. You've taunted me, scorned me, tempted me, and now you're going to pay for it. Killing you is too easy, love. That will come in due time."
"Drop your weapons and let the girl go," a voice called out.
Giles looked around, angry that Sarah had distracted him from the events around him. He looked up, shock filled him, threatening his vengeance and control. The faces glaring back at him weren't his men.
Giles took a step back, forcing Sarah with him. "Let me go or I'll kill her," he threatened, pressing a knife to her throat.
General Bryson dismounted, then stood before Giles. "It's taken a while, Rutledge, but your dealings have been discovered. All your men are in the stockade, where you're going to be very soon. Let Sarah go, Giles. It's all over."
She glanced around at the faces of the Indians, then stopped. Horse Racer and He Who Listens! A ray of hope filled her. She wanted to rush out to them, but Giles pressed the blade against her skin.
Giles looked around in disbelief. "Damn you, Sarah! You've ruined everything. Mother, what should I do? This wasn't supposed to happen. I had it all planned."
"Rutledge, listen to me," General Bryson s
aid, taking a step closer. "Put the knife down. You won't gain anything by resisting."
"It's your fault! You deserted my mother when she needed you. You left her with your bastard child, then left her to struggle and die. I'll kill every one of you damn cavalrymen for what you've done. She didn't deserve being treated like scum. She...Mother...help me make them pay for killing you!"
Dirk worked his way behind Giles, waiting for his chance to catch the crazy man off guard.
"I'm sure your mother was a good woman. Would she want you doing this?" General Bryson asked.
"I should kill you," Giles shouted, pointing his knife at the General.
Sarah seized the opportunity, driving her fist into his outstretched hand, knocking the knife away. She felt Giles' arm tighten around her shoulder, then realized his hands were pulled from her completely. She dashed from Giles side, falling hard. She turned watching Giles fight with—Two Shadows.
Pistol in hand, Buck appeared by her side, helping her up. She kept her gaze on the two fighting men. Giles faltered, no match for Two Shadows skills.
Giles lay unconscious on the ground. Two cavalrymen rolled him over and tied his hands behind his back. Sarah relaxed against Buck. Finally, it was over. Giles would no longer be a threat to her.
She wanted to rush into Two Shadow's arms, but held back, uncertain where she stood. Quickly she glanced toward Horse Racer and He Who Listens, they were gone.
She glanced back at Two Shadows, read the hurt and jealousy in his expression before she realized Buck still had her against him. She pulled from his embrace, but he held fast, protective and unaware of her position.
"You did a great job there, Dirk Williams. Not a man killed," General Bryson said, patting him on the back.
Sarah stared after them. She suddenly realized her father hadn't even acknowledged her return. She watched the two men mount their horses and ride away, leaving her standing with Buck.
Tears stung her eyes. Dirk had warned her. The white man side of him acted like a white man. She saw evidence of that this very moment, and it hurt.
"Are you all right, Sarah?" Buck asked, leading her toward his horse.
"I'm fine, I guess. My father didn't say a word to me. He would have been much happier had I been killed."
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm sure he's glad you're back safe and sound. He's the General. He will be a father when he sees you at home."
She shook her head. "No, Buck. I'm an embarrassment to him. I killed his son, anyway, that's how he sees it. I remind him of that. I've come close to forgetting all these awful feelings. Now, they're all coming back, like a nightmare. I don't belong at the fort, Buck. I guess I don't belong at the village, either."
"I'm sorry, Sarah. I really thought this was the best thing for you," he said, shuffling his feet on the ground. "I guess if I'm honest I'd have to admit I did it more for me than you."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I thought if I rescued you, then brought you back, you'd fall in love with me. I'd convinced myself you would. I think I've been in love with you since the night of that dance. I can't make you love me, Sarah."
She touched his arm and squeezed. "I'm sorry, Buck. I would if I could, but I have love for only one man. I no longer have his love, but I do have the memory. It will remain with me always."
"Marry me anyway. I could make you happy. I realize you don't love me, but you like me. It's enough for me, Sarah."
Shaking her head, Sarah walked toward Buck's horse. "I never want to love again. It hurts too much."
"Anders, the General says to tell you to come to the main house for dinner tonight as his guest. You're supposed to mount up and catch up to the detail with his daughter."
Sarah turned to see an anxious cavalryman staring at her. He looked her over, she read the distaste in his expression. She raised her chin, stared back at him, until he uneasily looked away.
She allowed Buck to hold her in the saddle, a sadness settled over her.
Just before dark they arrived at Fort Bryson. General Bryson and Dirk were the first ones in line. Buck had worked their way up behind two cavalrymen who rode on each side of Giles Rutledge.
Sarah stared at the back of Dirk's head, longing to speak to him. Longing to run up to her husband and announce to everyone he belonged to her. She remained distant and quiet.
Cheering brought her senses alert. As they paraded into the fort, the people applauded the General and Dirk Williams. She watched as several men jeered and even threw rocks at Giles, who'd betrayed them. She noticed Giles didn't seem aware of anything that was happening. He often whistled Rock of Ages or talked on end with his mother.
She almost felt sorry for him…almost. People crowded on the wooden sidewalks to observe the incarceration of Giles. She glanced at the crowd and suddenly realized they not only strained to see Giles, but they were every bit as interested in seeing her. They openly pointed and shook their heads in disapproval.
"Look at that Injun dress she's wearing. It's a downright disgrace."
"How can she hold her head up high? I'd sooner have killed myself than to have lived with savages. Now she's back! We ought to make her leave decent folk."
Sarah noticed Mrs. Mulberry talking to Melody's mother, Louise Briar.
"If she could hear, I'd tell her to stay clear of my decent girls. I don't want the likes of her associating with my darlin's," Mrs. Mulberry stated in a loud, boisterous tone.
"I agree," Mrs. Briar nodded. "I'll not permit Melody to go near her. Look at her, she's filthy."
"She probably can't smell any better than she can hear. Probably used to it by now," Mrs. Mulberry added.
Sarah glared at the woman. "No, Mrs. Mulberry, I'm not used to being this dirty. I washed more while living with the Blackfeet than I was allowed to here in this dirt infested, heat trap of a fort!"
It gave her a jolt of joy to see Mrs. Mulberry's stunned face snap up in surprise. The woman's scarlet cheeks announced her embarrassment at being heard.
"You can hear? Well, I don't care, Sarah Bryson. You're a disgrace. You stay away from me, my girls and my man!" She turned and stomped away.
Sarah watched a speechless, embarrassed Mrs. Briar. She offered no apology, but she remained in her place.
Glancing back at Buck, Sarah found him looking straight ahead. She concentrated on the back of Dirk's head, again. Women openly flirted and men tipped their hats to him. She nearly laughed out loud. These wonderful, judgmental people chastised her for living with the Indians, little did they know they honored one in the same breath.
Searching through the crowd, Sarah hoped to spot Melody. After hearing her mother, Sarah wondered if they would get a chance to talk at all.
Nothing had changed. She could hear, but that only made things worse. Now she didn't have to guess what they were saying. Somehow it had been easier not to hear their bitter words. Before she could look away and not be affected by it. Now, she heard them even if she closed her eyes.
Trail Walker! Sarah slid from the horse before Buck could refrain her. She ran to his cot, hugging the shriveled old man to her.
"It is good to see my blue-eyed daughter again. My heart has been heavy with sorrow since you have left. I wanted to come for you, but like a foolish old man, I had an accident and it became impossible; when you needed me most."
Tears trembled under her eyelids. "How I have missed you. I knew you'd have come if you could. I knew something terrible had happened to you. I feared Giles had killed you."
"My daughter sounds different. Could it be that your journey has rewarded you with your hearing?"
She smiled at him, happy to see his warmth, and genuine welcome. "Yes. I even heard a meadowlark. He sounded like you said he would. I thought of you―"
"Sarah, you're holding things up. Get back on that horse," General Bryson ordered.
They were the first words he said to her. They cut into her with as much pain as the prickly pear thorns. She glared at him, determined he wou
ld not control her as he had before. She turned and ran toward the house. Away from her insulting father. Away from the stares of the condemning people. Away from the leers of the men. She'd run away from this fort the first chance she got.
She raced into the two-story structure and up to her room. Bursting through the door, prepared to toss herself onto the bed as she'd done so many times as a girl, Sarah stopped abruptly. The bed had been moved against the opposite wall. The lacy canopy had been removed, and a rather dark, almost masculine spread covered the bed. The shelves of dolls and expensive toys were gone. Nothing that had been hers remained. The walls were bare of her childhood pictures. All that remained was a large, engraved, framed mirror. Two, dark blue sitting chairs replaced the old comfortable ones she'd preferred to curl up in. Sarah stared at the strange room, unsure what to do.
Hearing footstep, Sarah watched her still beautiful, yet aging mother approach. "I guess there's no need to ask if I was missed," Sarah said, staring her mother straight in the eyes.
"I gave all your things away. You can't blame me. I thought you were dead," she said, looking away.
Sarah watched her mother's facial expression chance to one of surprise. "Your voice. It's different...normal...you can hear?"
"I'm surprised you noticed. Yes. I can hear. Will that get me my room back?" Sarah couldn't help the bitterness and hurt that lurked near the surface.
"Don't use that tone with me, and don't look at me that way. I've already told you, I thought you were dead."
Sarah felt a tear stream down her cheek, but she didn't care. "You could have waited to make sure. But, then I'm sure it was more wishful thinking than actual belief."
Sarah watched Rachel Bryson step back. "You've changed. It's not just that dreadful thing you're wearing, it's something else."
Glaring at her mother, Sarah realized she missed the warmth and smiles of Otter Woman and Willow Basket. This woman before her had given Sarah birth, but she felt nothing but contempt for her. "Must be your maternal instincts, right?"
"I don't deserve to be spoken to like this, Sarah. If you're going to live under this roof, you will keep a civil tongue in your mouth. You will give me the respect I deserve as your mother. You understand what I'm saying?"
