Justin was quiet for a long minute, then he tugged her toward him. “What does all this mean for us?”
She swallowed hard. “I was hoping you’d tell me.”
He rested his forehead against hers and let out a long breath, the familiarity of his gesture practically her undoing. “I guess we both had some things to deal with, Paige, but I want to make sure you know that I never, ever thought you weren’t worthy of love.” He stroked her tense shoulders, his eyes focusing on the locket she always wore. He picked it up. “Tell me about this,” he said softly.
Her vision blurred with tears. With shaky fingers, she opened the locket. “It has a picture of the baby I lost and a lock of her hair. I never take it off.”
Justin studied the picture, then touched the blonde curl that was protected with a round piece of plastic. “I’m sorry you’ve had so much loss, honey. And I’m even more sorry I was a part of that loss. You think there’s any way possible we can we start over?”
Paige opened her mouth to speak when the sound of Caitlyn’s cries made her turn her head toward the bedroom.
“A baby?” Justin asked incredulously.
“Yes. I adopted the baby girl I just told you about. Her name’s Caitlyn. Would you like to meet her?”
His eyes widened. “I’d love to meet her. I mean, wow, this is pretty exciting stuff.”
“It’s absolutely incredible,” Paige said, standing and leading him down the hall, doing her best not to step on Sassy as the kitten scampered around her feet. “I don’t have the nursery quite ready, so I’ve got her in a basinet in my bedroom. I like having her close anyway.”
She stepped into her bedroom. “Hey, little one. Mama’s here.” She leaned over the bassinet and picked up the fussy infant. “Let’s get you a dry diaper before you eat.”
Justin picked up the teddy bear in the basinet and she tensed, sure he would realize the significance of this stuffed animal. He found the button on its belly and pressed. A strong, fast heartbeat filled the silence. “This is your baby’s heartbeat, isn’t it?”
Paige nodded, unable to speak. “It calms Caitlyn,” she finally managed to say.
“How does it make you feel?” Justin asked.
She thought about that. “Not as sad as it used to. I like to think my baby is here, watching over her little sister.”
“God, honey, I’m so sorry you lost your baby.” He leaned across Caitlyn and gave Paige a soft kiss. “I can’t tell you how sorry.”
“That means a lot to me.” She shifted her gaze to the infant she now held and kissed the top of her head.
Justin placed a finger against the baby’s tiny fist. She grasped it, and he grinned. “She really is beautiful,” he murmured, never taking his eyes off her. “And tiny.”
As if she’d been insulted, Caitlyn began crying in earnest.
Paige smiled. “She was a few weeks early, but she’s healthy and that’s all that matters.”
“She’s definitely got a good set of lungs on her,” Justin said, smiling at the infant.
“Indeed.” Laying her back down, Paige quickly changed her diaper, then lifted her up back up. “Calm down, little one. You’ll scare Justin. Make him run for the hills.”
“I’m not running,” Justin said, laying a hand on top of the baby’s tiny head. “She sure has a lot of hair for being a newbie.”
Caitlyn stopped crying, then gave a tiny hiccup as she stared at Justin. Smiling, he leaned down and kissed her cheek.
Paige’s heart felt like it might burst with pure joy. “Her mother has dark hair and dark eyes. I have a picture of both her parents.”
“You’re her mama now,” Justin said, wrapping an arm around Paige and enfolding both her and Caitlyn against his chest.
A rush of cool air skimmed over Paige, followed by the glow of a white light. The baby looked up and cooed, and Paige stared at the light in awe, knowing at a deep level that someone from the other side had come to visit.
Sassy jumped on the bed and stared at the ceiling, twitching her tail. Justin followed the kitten’s gaze and sucked in a quick breath. “Mom?” The light flickered and then flooded the room with warmth. “Do you see her?” he asked Paige, his voice filled with wonder.
“Yes,” she whispered.
The light drew closer, bathing them in what felt like incredible, never-ending love. Caitlyn’s eyes followed the light, and she raised a tiny fist as if to wave, and pursed her lips.
“I think she sees Mom,” Justin said, his voice raspy. Another, much smaller light, appeared to their left, and Paige gasped. “It’s my baby. Ada is here and she’s smiling.”
With one more flicker, the lights merged and then disappeared. “Wow! That was totally mind-blowing,” Justin said, his eyes filled with awe. “I’ve never believed in that stuff, but I feel as if Mom came to give her blessing. And Ada must have come to show you she’s okay and to say hi to her little sister. You think?”
Paige smiled around her tears. “Yes, that’s what it feels like.” Caitlyn began to cry again, and Paige led the way to the kitchen and heated her bottle. A few minutes later, they settled onto the couch. She glanced at Justin, who hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the baby.
“Would you like to feed her?”
He grinned and reached for Caitlyn, cradling her in his arms and slipping the bottle nipple into her mouth. Her cries abated instantly, and Justin leaned down and kissed her tiny forehead. “Man, this is like instant love. Now I understand what you meant earlier.”
Paige swallowed past the knot lodged in her throat. “It was love at first sight, and when I held her something deep inside me broke loose, and I somehow knew I’d be a good mother. I mean, I’d always known on some level I deserved to have a baby and would be a good mom. But the minute I held Caitlyn, a deep knowing filled me. For the first time in my life, I felt certain I deserved this and would be a good mom.”
“You are a great mom, not just a good one.” Justin’s gaze met hers and held. “Since I found you, Paige, I discovered I have a lot more love to give than I ever dreamed I could have.” He tucked the bottle under his chin to keep it in Caitlyn’s mouth and reached for Paige, pulling her up next to him. “Much better,” he said as he took hold of the bottle again.
He smiled down at the baby and then looked at Paige, and the love she saw in his eyes made her heart burst with joy. “I should wait to say this,” Justin said, never breaking eye contact. “But I don’t want to wait. I love you, Paige. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me? Let me be your husband and Caitlyn’s dad?”
Paige smiled through tears of pure joy. She’d never dreamed her life could ever be this full. “I would love to be your wife, Justin.”
He leaned over and kissed her with a sweetness that made her tremble. “We’re a family now, Paige. You, Caitlyn and me. Maybe we’ll have another baby someday and maybe we won’t, but this is all I need. All I’ll ever need.”
Sassy jumped on the couch and curled up in her lap. Smiling, Paige petted the kitten and snuggled into Justin, happiness filling her along with the peaceful feeling that someday she would be reunited with the baby she’d lost. In the meantime, she had another baby to raise and a man who loved her. “You remember when we rode out to the beautiful chapel at the dude ranch, and I wanted to leave so quickly?”
“Yes.”
“I needed to get out of that chapel because it represented everything I didn’t have at my first wedding. What do you think about us having our wedding there?”
Justin smiled. “I think the entire family will be thrilled for us to get married in that chapel, especially Sam. And you know what else I think?” She shook her head. “I think my mom and your baby will be there to watch us officially become a family.”
Smiling, Paige leaned against Justin’s broad shoulder and settled a hand on her baby’s chubby leg with a sigh of pure bliss.
Life had never been so good. “I love you Justin. I’ll always love you.”
He kissed her again, Caitlyn snuggled between them and Sassy purring on her lap, and Paige’s world had never felt so right.
DARE TO LOVE
Excerpt
Logan Coleman watched his family’s easy camaraderie and was glad he was part of this clan. Yet after an hour or so of visiting, he was ready to go home and enjoy the quiet.
He clapped his younger brother, Justin, on the back. “Good to see everyone, but I need to head out.”
“So soon?” Justin asked with a frown. “Got a new girlfriend none of us know about?”
“That would be a miracle,” Claire, one of two sisters, said rolling blue eyes that mirrored his own. “You work too much, Logan. Why don’t you try to chill for once and hang out with us for the evening?”
“Yeah, Logan. Do we bore you?” His other sister, Jillian, gave him her sternest look, and he was almost tempted to stay around a bit longer just to keep one of Jillian’s lectures at bay.
Logan held up his hands hoping to quiet his siblings. “Sorry, but duty calls. I’m way behind on dictating patient reports.” That sounded pathetic even to his own ears, but he truly was behind, just not by much. So why was he always in such a hurry to leave these gatherings? His siblings were right. He needed to learn how to relax. He’d always pushed himself, though, and wasn’t even sure why, which was rather ironic considering the fact that he was a clinical psychologist and knew he needed to have better balance in his life. The fact was, he got edgy when he wasn’t doing something productive. If he were one of his patients, he’d tell himself that wasn’t very good for him. In fact, he had told himself that, but thus far he hadn’t heeded his own advice.
He gave his dad a hug, thankful his old man hadn’t joined in with his siblings’ chorus of complaints. “Good to see you, Dad. And you, too, Dottie,” he added, hugging the woman his father had been dating for close to a year. He’d been totally on board when his father had begun dating Dottie, but there were still times when he had to remind himself that his dad deserved another chance at love. After all, his mom had been gone a little over two years, and although Logan was glad his father had found someone else, it was still hard to reconcile some of the time.
“Let’s do dinner next week,” his dad said.
“Sure. I’ll call you.” Before anyone could badger him more, Logan hurried out to the front porch of the dude ranch. As the door shut behind him, he let out a breath of relief at the silence. He took the porch steps two at a time ready to get home. It’s not that he didn’t like the dude ranch. It certainly had its merits, especially the horses. Starting next week, he’d see a lot more of the horses, and hopefully be able to take advantage of that and ride some.
He hadn’t ridden in years before his dad hooked up with Dottie, whose son, Ethan co-owned this ranch with Hank Richardson. Both Ethan and Hank, who was also a veterinarian, had built houses on the property, a sprawling piece of land that had now become a destination site from people all over the country. And a great place to come out and ride. Logan grinned, thinking he needed to schedule time for that.
Maybe he’d do that after one of his patient’s session with the ranch’s new equine therapy program. Why not? He would be here already as part of their session. It wasn’t mandatory, but it was highly recommended by the Equine-Assisted Growth and Learning Association, where he’d trained as an equine therapist last month. He was glad—make that excited—that EAGALA highly recommended he attend the sessions, because he wanted to see how his young patients responded to the program. The possibilities for this therapy program were exciting to him.
He’d always known horses were good for whatever ailed you, but now he had concrete knowledge of that as well as training in the process and was eager to see the reality of it. Hopefully, he might even be called to fill in for the equine therapist from time to time, but even if he didn’t do that, he would be involved in his patients’ equine therapy. He nodded at a couple walking hand in hand toward the house.
The whinny of a horse brought his attention to the corral across the wide expanse of yard, where a woman wearing a long, flowered skirt loped the palomino mare, Majesty, around the enclosure. The woman’s skirt billowed around her legs, her long, blonde hair flowing behind her, and her arms stretched out to her side as if she might take flight. And to top off the image, the lady was barefoot.
Logan blinked hard, almost feeling as if he were seeing an illusion. He started toward the corral at a quick pace, fear for the woman’s safety coiling in him, and that’s when he noticed she didn’t even have a bridle on the horse. Was she nuts? Anything could happen with a horse, and this woman had absolutely no control if it did.
He broke into a jog, slowing as he neared the corral, lest he spook Majesty and get the woman thrown, although he knew it took a lot to startle this horse. He climbed on top of the wooden fence, and Majesty pricked her ears and slowed to a trot.
He eased down into the corral and held out a hand. “Here girl.” To his relief, Majesty started toward him. He was about to pat her when the mare whirled and loped off. Logan tensed and prayed the woman didn’t fall and get hurt, even if she was being foolish riding a horse without any way of managing it.
As Majesty came around the corral and neared him again, she slowed to a trot. Thank God for small favors. “What are you doing riding a horse without so much as a halter?” he asked the rider as they approached, fighting to keep his voice low and calm. “If you’re one of those people who don’t like bits, you could should at least use a halter, so you’d have a smidgeon of control.
Majesty stopped and turned toward him. The woman’s round, blue eyes stared at him, and Logan felt as if his world had tilted on its axis. “You’re disturbing my ride,” she said softly, moving the horse forward. The woman had a bright blue streak in her flower-filled hair. And the dangling hoop earrings on her ears were probably big enough to catch a bird flying too close.
He blinked hard and stepped forward, putting his hand on Majesty’s nose. “And you’re disturbing my peace of mind. Don’t you know horses can be dangerous? You have absolutely no control over what that horse does,” he admonished. “Seeing you out here like this scared me to death.”
“No need to be scared.” Smiling, she glanced at the western sky with a long sigh. “Simply beautiful,” she said, pulling in a long breath, her gaze riveted to the west. “It’s so peaceful out here, and there’s nothing like clean country air. Don’t you agree?”
Logan turned his head. A deep pink and purple sunset turned the west pasture into postcard-perfect. He watched as the colors swirled and changed to light pink and then darkened again as the sun sunk lower.
She was right, the sky was beautiful. He could barely remember the last time he’d taken time to enjoy a pretty sunset. His gaze swept over the land, now blanketed in the colors of the fading sun, and noticed horses grazing in the pasture, tails swishing to ward off the flies. The hoot of a nearby owl broke through the air as did the yipping of a coyote. A horse lifted its head and gave a whinny, then raced through the herd, stopping and kicking out its heels.
Logan smiled. The beginning of fall was in the air and the animals knew it. The extreme heat of summer was gone, thank goodness, and it showed in the horses’ energy level.
“You’re right. It is peaceful out here and the sunset is beautiful,” he said, glad she’d pointed it out.
Smiling, the woman leaned down over Majesty and draped her arms around the mare’s neck. “I appreciate your concern about my safety, but I know what I’m doing.”
Logan’s moment of peace evaporated like a puff of smoke floating lazily toward the sky. He wasn’t at all sure about this woman’s safety. Then again, she seemed to be able to make Majesty do whatever she wanted. “Does Hank Richardson know you are out here riding his horse?” he asked, changing his tactic. “If you got hurt, Hank would never forgive himself.”
“I’m perfectly safe.” Sitting up, she frowned and pursed her lips. “And to answer your question, I doubt Hank knows
I’m riding this mare right now, but he does know I’m here at the ranch. I’m the new equine therapist, and I’m getting a feel for Majesty before I use her with children.”
This woman was the new equine therapist? Seriously?
He cleared his throat and shoved back his negative thoughts, knowing he wasn’t being fair. “Majesty’s a great horse. About as reliable as they come, which is a good thing considering you’re out here all alone, and no matter what you claim, you have no real way to manage her.”
“But I am managing her,” she said, extending a hand. “I’m Natasha, and you are?”
He took her hand, her very delicate hand, and felt his protective nature surge even more. “Logan Coleman,” he managed to get out, seeing as how he felt like he was in some kind of alternate universe. “I hope you use a bridle and saddle when I send you my patients.”
She arched a delicate brow. “It’s nice to know you’ll be sending me patients. Are you a doctor?”
“Clinical psychologist, and my patients are youngsters. Their safety is of utmost importance to me. So, will they have a bridle and saddle?”
“Don’t be silly. Of course, they will. Although, as I’m sure you know, most of my students will work with this horse on the ground.”
“I’m sending you one who would benefit from riding, too.”
“Well, no need to worry about your students. I’m the only one who can ride this mare without a bridle. I speak horse language. Majesty and I are one,” she added, leaning down over Majesty’s neck again and stroking the golden coat.
He had definitely entered an alternate universe. Logan fought the urge to shake his head and see if reality returned to his world. “Then I guess you told her to come over here and visit me.”
She smiled, a brilliant warm, light, that instantly made his legs feel weak. Good Lord, what was wrong with him?
“I gave her the okay to come to you,” the lady said, not seeming at all perturbed by his remark.
Since I Found You (Crystal Springs Romances: The Wedding Chapel Book 2) Page 20
