by Sloan Storm
“Yes, I’m well aware of that, and I’m very thankful you found it. But if somehow you’re misinterpreting my reaction that you could have died in the process as funny, then you’re in for a rude awakening.”
I shook my head as I looked at her.
“Fiona, I think you’re a little emotional right now. Just calm down.”
As I finished speaking, I watched as Fiona's complexion changed from her normal creamy white to a bright shade of crimson. She took another step towards me and poked me in the chest, presumably to put an emphasis on her point. It caught me off balance a bit, and before I realized it, I lost my footing, falling backwards.
Reaching up at the last instant, I grabbed hold of the sail. Otherwise, I might have fallen into the bay. As I steadied myself, Fiona covered her mouth with both hands, staring at me in shock.
“Gabe,” she began with a distressed tone. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
Avoiding the near disaster, I righted myself. I waved her off with a casual gesture.
“It’s okay Fiona. I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”
Fiona simply shook her head and turned her back on me. I watched as she plopped down, taking a seat in the middle of the boat. As she did, she crossed her arms and bent over slightly at the waist. Her hair fell over her eyes, concealing her face from me. I frowned as I watched her for a moment or two before walking over towards her. I reached down and slid my fingers atop her shoulder.
“Fiona,” I said, squeezing her a bit. “What’s wrong?”
She remained silent for several seconds. In the background, small waves lapped against the side of the boat with a rhythmic slap, slap, slap.
“Nothing,” she whispered, at last. “I’d like… to go back to the resort now.”
I took a seat next to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, hugging her close. Fiona leaned her weight into me, reaching around the front of my torso and embracing me in return. No sooner had she done so than I felt her shoulders convulse as tears began to flow. Leaning over, I kissed the top of her head and tried to calm her.
“Fiona, shhh, it’s okay,” I said, as I hovered my mouth just above the crown of her head. “I’m fine. You’re fine. We’ve got your bracelet. Things couldn’t be better. Why are you crying?”
But as I finished asking the question, it was apparent she wasn’t in any shape to answer. Instead, Fiona wept almost as hard as she had earlier that morning on the veranda. It was as if she was reliving the grief all over again. After a few more seconds, I leaned away from her.
“You’re right Fiona. Let’s get you back to the suite.”
Fiona’s breath hitched between sobs. She looked up at me through red, puffy eyes and nodded in agreement, but didn’t speak a word. With that, I released her, got up, and moved around to the rear of the sailboat. After starting a small outboard motor, I began the trip back to the resort.
Less than a half an hour later I helped Fiona into her room and her bed. Exhausted, she folded into the mattress and tugged the sheets high up around her head and neck. As she did, I sat down next to her. I’d never encountered behavior like this before, so going on instinct, I reached for her and rubbed her back.
“Would you like anything to eat or drink?” I asked as I caressed her.
“No thank you,” she replied, as she looked up at me. “I don’t want anything right now. I just need to sleep for a while.”
“Okay then,” I said, as I readied myself to stand. “If you need something, just let me know, all right?”
Fiona nodded but didn’t speak. Her eyes fluttered closed.
I stood from the bed and began to walk out of the room, turning the lights off and closing the door behind me as I did. A few minutes later I made my way to the kitchen, and after opening the refrigerator, I grabbed a beer.
I took a pull on it right away, followed by another sip or two as I walked towards the veranda. The warm of the wood beneath my feet and the sweet, salt scent of the air turned my mood reflective as I took a seat in one of the large chairs overlooking the bay.
It was a shame I couldn’t enjoy this with her.
What little liquid remained in the bottle bubbled in hues of gold and amber as I swirled it around. As I looked at it, I realized that Fiona was in a fragile state, but I had no idea she would react to my teasing the way she did. I hadn’t meant to frighten her, only to poke a bit of fun at the situation and brighten the mood some.
Even so, it was hard not to feel bad for her. What happened to her family was a terrible thing, but even so, there comes a time when you can no longer allow your past to define you. I hoped Fiona could get to that place in her life, because as it stood right now, the tragic events that took her family from her still loomed large over her everyday existence.
I leaned back in the chair and took a final sip of the beer. With any luck, getting to work on the presentation would take her mind off her troubles and get her focused on something positive.
But, for tonight, it was best if I left her to sort things out for herself and rest. She’d taken some big steps in her life today, and I was proud of her for that but she still had the potential to be so much more.
The time for that would have to wait.
FIONA
When my eyes next opened, I looked around the strange environment, forgetting for a moment where I was. Rubbing my lids, I propped myself up on my elbows and scanned the room as my memory came back to me.
I groaned and collapsed back down onto the bed, allowing my head to fall into the pillow. Just then, all the events of yesterday came rushing back into my mind. My confession to Gabe about losing my family, followed by the insanity of nearly losing him on the boat. And at last, returning here where I passed out from exhaustion.
Although I was somewhat better than when I went to sleep, I still didn’t feel great. I rolled my head on the pillow and looked towards a large bay window. Just beyond it, streaks of pink and orange early morning sun shined through, illuminating my room with a rainbow of electric pastels.
Between an opening in the curtains, I saw a stand of trees swaying in a gentle, early morning breeze. As I lay there, I happened to glance down at my bracelet. I reflected with fondness about what Gabe had done for me. And it was in that moment, something entered my awareness. For the first time in all the years I’d worn it, its importance in my life seemed different now.
I reached for it, and as I often did, I rolled the gemstones between the tips of my fingers. The truth was the bracelet and what it represented still had significance to me, but it paled in comparison to the feeling of loss I experienced in those horrifying minutes when I thought Gabe was gone.
I shot into a seated position, throwing the sheets away from my body with a violent swish. As my feet hit the floor, I realized I was in an impossible situation. In spite of my feelings, the fact was that I was going to lose him, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Perhaps it wouldn’t be anything as dramatic as him vanishing into the deep blue off the side of the boat, but there was no way what was going on between us would last.
Of that much, I was certain.
As the reality of that settled in on my consciousness, I felt a lump gather in the center of my throat, heat laced my eyes and before I realized it, warm streaks ran down my cheeks. Yet no sooner had I started than the bedroom door opened, and Gabe appeared in it, pushing it open with the palm of his hand flat against it. I spun, sniffled, and reached up towards my face, swiping the tears away as fast as I could.
But it was too late—he’d seen me.
“Well, I would say good morning to you, Fiona, but…”
Still not in any shape to look at him, I nodded. “I’m fine.”
As I finished, Gabe circled around in front of me. I attempted to avoid him, but he grabbed hold of my arm with a gentle squeeze. He stood in place and looked down at me.
“Doesn’t look like it’s getting off to a good start from here.”
I shook my head, reasse
rting my earlier statement. “I’ll be fine, really. Don’t worry about it.”
He nodded. “All right, if you say so. Say, um, would you like something to eat? I got breakfast ready.”
“I’m not very hungry, I…”
Gabe interrupted me with a firm tone. “I insist.”
I glanced up at him as he stood there, waiting for me to reply. Emotional though I was, I hadn’t eaten anything at all since breakfast the day before. My stomach asserted itself at last.
“Yes,” I began, as I ran my fingers through my hair, grasping it in a handful to the side of my head. “I’ll be right out.”
With that, Gabe turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
It took me longer than normal to get dressed, but considering the state of mind I’d been in when he discovered me, I needed all the time I could get. Eventually, I made my way out to the kitchen, where I saw Gabe moving with an easy grace as he prepared what smelled like another delicious meal.
He left my episode unmentioned as we ate. I wasn’t sure why, but I was sure at some point Gabe would bring up the topic of the presentation. Choking down a bite of my food, I had a sudden wave of overwhelming doubt about doing it and an even greater uneasiness confessing those feelings to him.
“Were you able to get any sleep?” he asked, breaking my concentration.
I finished my bite as Gabe lingered there waiting for me to reply, his fork resting in silence on the plate.
“Yes,” I began with a curt nod. “I managed to get a few hours, I think.”
Gabe nodded his head in return. “Well, that’s good to hear, because after we’re done with breakfast we’ve got to get to work.”
Knowing full well what he meant, I washed down my most recent mouthful of food with a big gulp of orange juice.
Without wasting any time, Gabe pressed me on the issue. “Are you going to be ready to do that today, Fiona?”
I swallowed hard as I realized what I had to say. As much as I didn’t want to let him down or disappoint him, even the idea of actually having to do the presentation filled me with dread all of a sudden.
“Gabe,” I replied with a deep exhale. “I-I don’t think I’m going to be able to do it.”
Nonplussed, Gabe leaned away from me. “What? Why?”
I dropped my hands in my lap and looked away as he finished speaking. How could I possibly explain this to him? What was I going to say? I sat there in silence for several moments, until Gabe spoke yet again.
“Fiona, I need you to answer me,” he said, as he leaned forward, bracing himself on his elbows atop the kitchen counter. “What’s going on with you?”
“I don’t know,” I began, as I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know, Fiona? How can you not know?” The tone in Gabe’s voice grew angrier with each word he spoke.
“Please Gabe, I’m sorry. Don’t be upset with me.”
His face held a mix of disgust and disbelief as he looked at me. The empathy he’d shown me in the past twelve hours or so appeared to wither from his face, dissipating and transforming into hard lines of frustration.
“Well, let me ask you… How would you feel if you were me, Fiona? What am I supposed to think? Yesterday, everything was fine and you were more than ready to begin working on finalizing the presentation. And now, here you sit, barely twenty-four hours later, telling me you don’t think you can do it?”
“It’s not that—it’s…”
Gabe straightened both his arms and placed his palms flat on the counter top. Glaring down at me he continued, “Well, you need to tell me what it is right now. Not five minutes from now, or an hour from now, but right now—because there is no time to waste.”
I closed my eyes and drew my arms up towards my chest, crossing them as I did.
“Fiona…”
“Okay, okay,” I replied, as I flipped my eyes open. “I just don’t know where to begin.”
“There’s no time to hesitate Fiona. Just tell me what it is.”
I nodded and unfolded my arms from my chest, dropping them into my lap. After a subtle clearing of my throat, I began, “Gabe, I wasn’t expecting any of what happened yesterday. You have to understand how difficult it was for me to tell you about what happened to my family.”
I paused for a moment, and as I did, Gabe inhaled as if he was about to speak.
“Wait, just let me finish,” I begged, before he could say a word. “Please understand—for years I thought that one of the worst things that could happen to me would be to lose the bracelet. But, after yesterday… I realized that’s not true. Gabe, when I sat there in that boat, thinking you’d died, I’d never experienced emotions like that. And I never want to again.”
Gabe pursed his lips for a moment or two. “Well… I’m right here Fiona. I’m perfectly fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”
I shook my head. “No, that’s where you’re wrong, Gabe. While you may be fine, I’m far from it.”
With that, I grabbed hold of the counter top and pushed on it. As I did, the stool slid along the surface of the floor. I stood and turned to head back towards the bedroom.
“Fiona, where you going?” Gabe said, as I started to walk way. “We’ve got work to do.”
I turned back towards him for a moment, “Right now, all I want to do is get back in the bed and sleep. I’m sorry.”
Afterward, I spun in the other direction and walked yet again.
“Fiona!” Gabe exclaimed.
Without stopping or responding I continued, my steps unbroken.
“Fiona! Fiona! Get back here!”
GABE
“Fuck,” I muttered.
Great idea, Gabe. Really great idea.
As I stood there thinking about what had just happened, I realized how badly my plan had backfired on me. I guess this is what the old saying means when it comes to good intentions.
Of all the possible outcomes in the situation, this was not one I saw coming. The whole idea had been to help Fiona get over her problems, and instead I’d created brand new ones for myself.
Picking up the plates from breakfast, I walked over to the sink and dropped them inside. As they clattered within the stainless steel tub, I glanced out the nearby window. From my vantage point, the bay was partially visible. I looked out over the still water and shook my head.
For the first time in a long time, my business was in real trouble, and it was because I’d relied on someone other than myself. Just then I turned my head in the direction of Fiona’s bedroom. I didn’t have many options at this point. Going in there and berating her would get me absolutely nowhere right now.
Yet, something had to be done.
I exhaled in frustration as I ruminated about my next move.
The simple fact was I’d allowed Fiona to get under my skin. I’d broken my own long-standing rule of not trying to fix people, and look what it got me. Reaching up, I pinched my nose between my eyebrows, squeezing it as I closed my eyes tight.
What the fuck am I going to do now?
I could probably get through seventy or eighty percent of the presentation on my own, but the critical parts, especially as it related to the potential cancer treatment and some key details from the lab work… Well that was just not something I could pull together by tomorrow morning. All of the investors would be arriving later in the day, and what little time we did have got shorter with every second she stayed secluded in that bedroom.
I began to pace back and forth in the kitchen, covering a ten foot length over and over again. Yet, no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t come up with a scenario that didn’t involve Fiona. Somehow or some way, I’d have to talk her into doing it. With that, I straightened my spine and headed towards her bedroom. Within a matter of moments, I reached the door and knocked on it.
“Fiona,” I said, as I pressed my ear against it. “Let me in.”
I listened for a moment or two until she at last broke the
silence and replied. “Gabe, please, I don’t want to talk. Don’t make me.”
In the wake of her reply, I reached up and wiped my palm down the length of my face, pausing for few seconds before I responded.
“And I don’t want to get angry, Fiona because that’s not what’s needed right now. What’s needed is for you to trust me and talk to me. Now please, open the door or I’ll do it for you.”
Following a few additional seconds of silence, the lock on the door clicked open and Fiona pulled it ajar, swinging it in towards her. Afterward, she turned her back to me and walked towards the bed, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. With her feet barely touching the floor, she looked up at me.
“Is there anything that I can say or do to change your mind right now, Fiona?”
Fiona shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Okay,” I said, as I nodded my head in return. “Well, I have something to say. I think you owe it to me to listen.”
Fiona lowered her head a bit and dropped her hands in her lap. “Okay.”
“Look Fiona, I realize that what’s happened in the past day or so has been very stressful. However, this is not the time to give up and not see things through to their conclusion.”
Fiona shook her head and pinched her lip between her teeth as she looked up at me. “I’m not giving up, Gabe. That’s not what’s happening.”
“All right, then tell me,” I said, as I spread my arms wide. “Please explain to me why you’re in here, alone, as opposed to spending time with me working on the presentation as we’d discussed.”
Fiona held my gaze for a couple of moments before looking away.
“I don’t expect you to understand, Gabe,” she said, in a voice barely above a whisper.
I glared at her. “Fiona, don’t give me that. I’m not about to stand here and let you wallow in self-pity. Now, you can either tell me what’s going on with you, or I drag you kicking and screaming back out into the living room and we get to work.”
As she continued to avoid my gaze, Fiona dropped her head. Silky, blonde strands of hair wrapped around her face, concealing it and her state of mind from me.
