by M. S. Parker
Now, there was a word I didn’t want to think about too much. In the past, when it came to interactions with the opposite sex, I used relationship to distinguish between the women with whom I only had a sexual arrangement. We didn’t go out together, and I never referred to them as girlfriends. I wanted Ashlee as my girlfriend, but I was still figuring out how that was going to work.
Step one had been talking to Stu. Step two was to pitch my idea to Ashlee. Her answer would determine where things went after that.
Stu cleared his throat, and I suddenly remembered that he was still here.
“Thanks,” I said, straightening things on my desk that didn’t need to be straightened.
I could feel Stu’s eyes on me but didn’t raise my head, concentrating instead on looking nonchalant. I hadn’t really given him a reason why I wanted his opinion…or a reason for why Ashlee was coming back. If he asked, I didn’t know what I’d tell him. I didn’t plan on hiding my relationship with Ashlee, but I wasn’t going to spread it around either, especially when things were still new between us.
“Does this mean you want me to reassign her to the projects she was working on before?” he asked.
“That seems like the best course of action, but it’s up to you.” I opened one of my desk drawers and rummaged through it like I was looking for something. I wasn’t.
“And the flash drive?”
Now, I did glance up. “She left it in her desk.”
Stu frowned. “But it’s not there.”
“I know.” I sighed and leaned back in my chair. “I haven’t forgotten about it, but you shouldn’t count on getting it back in time to use any of the information on it.”
His expression said he was just as annoyed by the loss as I was, but he didn’t comment on it. We both knew that if I hadn’t fired Ashlee in the first place, the missing flash drive wouldn’t matter much because she would have the information on her computer. Hell, if I’d just held off on having her computer wiped or had talked to Stu before I’d done it, we wouldn’t be in this situation. Talking about it wouldn’t do any good, though. It was done and over with. Now, we just had to deal with it as it was.
After a pause, he added, “I’m glad she’s coming back. She’s a great worker and an even better person.”
Didn’t I know it?
I agreed with what he was saying, and I also heard what he wasn’t saying. That I had a lot to lose if I screwed this up. Another thing I agreed with him about.
I kept my answer simple. “Yes, she is.”
He didn’t say anything else as he left, and I let out a breath of relief. One step down. Now, I just had to wait for Ashlee to arrive. I’d told her not to come in early because I hadn’t wanted to rush things with Stu, but since I’d known Ashlee wouldn’t want to walk past everyone, I’d told her to come during the already-scheduled meeting Finley was holding in a few minutes.
Every couple months or so, he liked to gather everyone and get an idea of how things were going within the company. Fortunately for me, that was today, and it wasn’t unusual for me not to attend.
I turned my attention to my email and listened to the hum of noise from the floor as my employees arrived. An hour passed, and everyone moved to the big conference room on the floor below. My ability to focus dissolved as my attention kept wandering to the time. She’d be here soon.
By the time she knocked on my door, my nerves were stretched thin, and I kept tapping my finger on the desk. The moment I heard her, I was out of my chair and crossing the short distance between us.
I crushed her against me as my mouth descended on hers. She clutched at me, and I groaned, needing her closer, needing more of her. I forgot where we were, why she was actually here. All that mattered was that I had her in my arms, the taste of her in my mouth.
Then she pushed at my chest, and I immediately took a step back. Awareness rushed over me like a cold wave. Shit. I needed to use my head where she was concerned. The last thing I needed was someone seeing us and coming to all sorts of conclusions, wrong or right. Still, it had felt damn good to kiss her again.
“Sorry about that.” I surprised myself with an apology. “I’m glad to see you, that’s all.”
“I’m glad too,” she said shyly. Her gaze dropped to the floor.
“But it’s probably not a good idea to do that again here.” I stepped even farther back and forced myself to switch to business mode. We had personal things we needed to talk about, but work had to come first. “Have a seat.”
Once we were on opposite sides of the desk, it became easier to focus. After we got this stuff out of the way, the awkwardness that still stretched between us would go away, and the best way to do that was to dive right in and get to it.
“I checked your desk this morning when I first came in, but the flash drive wasn’t there.” I winced at how harsh that sounded. I quickly clarified, “I don’t think you’re lying about it being there. It’s just not there anymore.”
Her eyes widened. “Do you think someone took it?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “It’s possible. I’m hoping one of the IT guys picked it up when they were wiping your computer.”
“And if they don’t have it?”
“Let me worry about that,” I said. “You did everything you were supposed to. I was the one who fucked up. If I’d followed the protocols I’d put into place, I would have the drive, and nothing on the computer would’ve been erased in the first place.”
I didn’t add that if I’d had the drive, I probably wouldn’t have gone after her in the first place, and I’d be here, with the information, but without her. Even though I knew the reason I’d gone after her had been more personal than business, I’d needed the business side of it to give me a kick in the ass. Without it, I would’ve given myself every excuse to stay away.
“It’s a strange situation all the way around,” she said.
“That’s one word for it.” I picked up the papers I’d had Stu look over a short time ago. “And to keep with the strange theme, I have an idea about how to make things work with us.”
I slid the papers over to her, but she didn’t take them. Instead, she said, “Please tell me this isn’t some sort of Dom / sub contract.”
I chuckled. “No. This is purely business.”
She held up a hand. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea for me to work here now that we’re involved.”
“That’s exactly the point of this.” I gestured to the papers. “You won’t need to look for another job, but you won’t be working under me either.”
I tried to ignore the little thrill that went through me at the phrase under me, but it was impossible not to remember what it had felt like to have her stretched out, body arching up to meet mine, pussy tightening around me. Dammit. This was why we needed a line between work and pleasure.
“I want you to work as a freelance contractor hired by Stu for the A&R department. I imagine most of your duties will remain the same, but Stu won’t just be your direct supervisor. He’ll be your boss, the only one you’ll be answering to. I won’t have any authority over you at all.”
“But you’ll still be my boss’s boss.”
“Yes…” I tapped the papers, “but it’s written into the contract that I’m not allowed to address anything about you. I have no say in hiring or firing. Nothing about your workload or pay. I’ve cleared it with Stu, our in-house counsel, and HR.”
She picked up the papers and started looking through them. I kept quiet as she read. I’d told her what to expect. Now, she needed to see it for herself. Process it in a matter-of-fact way, separate from the connection between the two of us.
After a few minutes, she raised her head. “It says in here that the contract is indefinite.”
“It is,” I said. “Either you or Stu can choose to end it at any time, but we will require you to train any replacement.”
She nodded. “That seems fair enough. And Stu is all right with this?”
“I think he’s actually relieved with this arrangement.” One side of my mouth curved. “He wants to protect you.”
“From you?” She sounded surprised.
“From the rich boss who could force you to do things by threatening to terminate your employment. As if I would do something like that.”
She laughed, her eyes sparkling. “You did tell me I had to go to that event with you. And you did fire me.”
“Points taken.”
Our gazes held for several long seconds, and then she spoke again. “All I have to do is sign?”
I nodded. “Sign it, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
“And what about the non-work stuff?” she asked.
“I’d like us to have dinner tonight to discuss all of that.”
She held out a hand. “Give me a pen.”
Six
Ashlee
I’d been pleasantly surprised at how easy the transition was at work. I’d anticipated more stares and whispers. People speculating about where I’d been and why I was back. I’d even anticipated Mr. Hancock and Ms. Lamas treating me differently because they knew about my contract, and I was fairly certain that at least Mr. Hancock knew why Nate had wanted me hired as a freelancer.
Except no one had even looked at me twice, and Mr. Hancock had given me a better desk. I wondered what the official story had been about my absence, but I preferred not knowing if the alternative was to ask about it.
I’d spent most of the day trying to reconstruct what had been lost. It had been a lot of information, but fortunately, I had a good memory. Once I’d tugged on the right thread, I’d taken myself down the same path I’d been on before. It was going to take me a while to get everything back, but I was making good progress.
Still, all the progress in the world wasn’t going to keep me from being nervous about my date tonight. It was going to be the first time the two of us would be out in public at a non-work function. No one who saw us tonight would think we were doing anything but going on a date. If we did this – when we did this – there’d be no going back.
Tonight was also step one in us separating work from our personal life. We could have left straight from work together, but we’d both decided that it’d be better if he picked me up at my place. Which was why I was currently standing next to my couch, wondering if my nerves would let me sit down and try to relax.
Somehow, I doubted it.
I’d worn the nicest thing I owned for the party I’d gone to with him before, but I had a couple things that would work for dinner. I loved my little black dresses, especially the one I was wearing tonight. Clingy material that hugged my curves almost too much. A hem that stopped two inches above my knees. A halter top that showed almost all of my back and quite a bit of cleavage too, but not tacky. It was easily one of the most revealing dresses I had, and I only wore it when I felt comfortable in my own skin.
I was beginning to doubt tonight was going to be one of those nights.
Then someone knocked on the door, and I was out of time. A look through the peephole confirmed it was Nate and another swarm of butterflies took off in my stomach. He was in a black suit that had been perfectly tailored for him and a silver tie I was fairly sure cost more than my dress.
I opened the door and gestured for him to come inside. He did, giving me a leisurely once over from my head to my feet and then back up again, a look that had enough weight to it that it felt almost as real as his hands would have.
“You look amazing, le soleil.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead.
“So do you.” I fingered his lapel, enjoying the fine texture of his jacket before reaching up to put my hand on his cheek. Scruff chafed against my skin and sent a shiver down my spine. “You didn’t shave.”
He turned his face to kiss my palm. “Is that a problem?”
There was no mistaking the low warning in his question, or the heat in his eyes.
“No, Mr. Lexington.” The flare of desire I felt was matched by what I saw on his face. “I like it.”
He crowded into my space, but I didn’t move back. I liked him here. Like the spicy scent that seemed to surround him. The heat that radiated off him. The craving for him that hit me was stronger than anything I’d ever felt before.
“Do you now?” He captured my chin. “Can you imagine what it would feel like against the rest of your body? Against the insides of your thighs?”
I swallowed hard and pressed my legs together. Damn.
“Your lips are trembling.” He ran his thumb along my bottom lip. “Are you nervous?” When I didn’t immediately answer, he warned, “Don’t lie to me.”
“A little,” I admitted.
“Let’s see what I can do about that.”
He turned me until my back was against the door, and I experienced a sense of déjà vu as I remembered the feel of his fingers on me for the first time. Then he went to his knees in front of me, and I realized he had something else in mind.
“Look at me.”
My eyes met his and locked there. His hands slid up my legs, under my dress, and pulled down the satin panties I rarely wore. Without breaking his gaze from mine, he held me steady and helped me step out of my underwear. I opened my mouth to ask him where he was going to put them, but a slight shake of his head had my jaw snapping shut again.
He raised my dress until it was bunched around my waist and then coaxed my legs apart, each move deliberate enough that it made me wonder if he would’ve done this even if I hadn’t been nervous. Either way, I planned to enjoy every minute of it.
Strong fingers curved around my hips, holding me in place as his mouth covered me. There was no easing me into it, no introductory touches, soft licks. This was as thorough and passionate a kiss as I’d ever had.
Sensation flooded me all at once, overwhelming my senses. I cursed, head falling back to thud against my door. My hands found his shoulders, and I curled my fingers into his jacket, desperate to have something ground me as his tongue explored.
Up around my clit. Quick, rough passes across it. Down between my lips to my entrance. Plunging inside, wider than a finger but not as long. Flexible but strong and relentless. Never giving a moment to absorb or process.
My climax came out of nowhere, crashing into me and robbing me of breath. Muscles trembled, and spots danced behind my eyelids. My jaw clenched, and my teeth ground together, every nerve alive with electric pleasure.
By the time I came back to myself, Nate was on his feet again. He’d pulled down my dress, and one hand was still on my waist, helping me stay upright. My thighs were slick and my panties still wherever Nate had put them…but my nerves were calm again. In fact, everything was calm and clear.
“Clean up quickly.” His voice was rough. “We have a reservation.”
“My underwear?”
“No.” He released me and took a step back. “I don’t want you wearing any tonight.”
My stomach twisted at the thought of all the things he could do to me without my panties. Not that a thin bit of satin would’ve stopped him from getting what he wanted. My safe word negated consent, and that was the only thing that would stop him.
“Go on,” he said. “I’ll use the kitchen sink. I don’t want to be late.”
I went.
Seven
Nate
I didn’t regret getting Ashlee off to help ease her nerves.
We were both New York natives, and from what I understood, had grown up in around the same income bracket. Aside from that, our worlds couldn’t be more different, and my world wasn’t something easily prepared for. It was completely understandable that she’d still be anxious about venturing into public with me. Anything I could do to make it easier on her, I would.
The erection currently pressing against my zipper, however, wasn’t making anything easy on me in return.
I’d been so tempted to say “fuck it” to the reservation, pick her up and take her to her bed, lose myself in her. It was all too easy
to do with her. Forget about the world and my responsibilities.
Forget about the phone call from my mom that I’d ignored.
Forget about the voicemail I hadn’t listened to yet.
That alone should’ve been enough to will away my hard-on, but it wasn’t. When it came to Ashlee, my cock had a mind of its own.
“Your wine, sir.”
The sommelier held out the bottle I’d chosen, and I nodded. We went through the familiar motions of approval, had things at our table settled, and then he left, leaving Ashlee and me alone again.
“Please, continue.” I smiled at Ashlee, but the gesture felt stiff, unnatural.
“You really want to hear about Mom and me visiting America’s first lighthouse on our way back from Virginia Beach?”
“I do.” I swallowed a mouthful of wine, barely tasting it despite the fact that it was one of the restaurant’s finest vintages. My attention was focused on her.
“Haven’t you been there?” she asked.
“I have not.”
“Oh, well…um…” She twisted her fingers together, seemingly caught off guard by my abrupt statement. “It’s called the Cape Henry Lighthouse, and it’s near the Chesapeake Bay District. In 1789, this guy named Jacob Wray went to Alexander Hamilton about a need to keep the waterways safe. By 1792, the lighthouse was functional.”
I picked up one of the pumpernickel croutons and popped it into my mouth. We had a bowl of Saint Germain split pea soup between us, and I had no doubt that it was as delicious as it was every other time I’d come to La Grenouille, but I just didn’t have it in me to eat with my usual enthusiasm. It should have been easy here. A private room here never failed to impress.
“Mom’s always been more interested in the history part of things,” she continued. “I’m more about the visual, like a picture in my head, but hearing about how old it was made me see it differently. Like I could almost see these two men walking along the shore, discussing the best place to put the lighthouse.”
