by M. S. Parker
“They look good tonight,” I said, nodding toward where Golden Words had been set up for interviews. “Even if Peach looks like she wants to hide.”
“If this album goes the way I think it will, she’ll have less time to be in the background than before.”
I nodded in agreement. All of Saya’s artists were talented and professional, but these young women were definitely the best of the bunch. It wasn’t too often four genuinely kind, intelligent, and talented people came together to create great music.
Which reminded me… “Before the night’s over, I’d like to get them to sign something for my niece.”
If she was surprised by my mentioning family, she didn’t show it. Ever the consummate professional.
As if merely thinking the compliment had conjured the exact opposite, Zed appeared behind Saya.
“Well, if it isn’t some of my favorite people.” He draped an arm around Saya’s shoulders.
Before I could offer to remove his arm – from his body – Saya firmly grabbed his wrist and twisted out from under his arm, the expression on her face making me wonder if this had happened before. I needed to talk to Finley, and then to Stu and Suzie. If Zed couldn’t keep his hands off my employees, I didn’t even want to think what he did around women who weren’t connected to his career.
“Always the feisty one, Saya.” Zed grinned as she released his arm. He massaged his shoulder but didn’t seem put out by the less than enthusiastic reception to his advances.
That might’ve had something to do with the fact that he was high as a kite.
“I’m surprised you’re here, Zed,” I said tightly. “You usually don’t show up to things that aren’t about you.”
“I’m hurt.” He put his hand over his heart. “Nothing means more to me than the success of God’s Worlds. Gold Stars. Ghost Words.” He frowned. “Whoever the hell they are.”
“I’m sure they appreciate your support.” I didn’t even attempt to hide my sarcasm. “Still, it’d probably be better if you left.” When he didn’t move, my eyes narrowed. “That isn’t really a suggestion.”
“C’mon, Nate. You wouldn’t throw out the man who gave you your first big break, would you?” Something cruel gleamed in his eyes. “Well, not again, anyway.”
Shit.
“Which reminds me,” he continued, “I hear Joshua’s back in town.”
Ashlee shifted next to me, but I didn’t look at her. Zed was treading on dangerous ground, but if he said too much, I’d end up being the one in the hot seat.
“Think he’d be interested in a reunion?” Zed’s expression hardened even though he still wore a smile. “Not with you, of course, but with me and the guys.”
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to go check on the ladies.” Saya was already walking away as she spoke.
“Did you know Nate has a little brother?”
My attention snapped back to Zed, who was leering at Ashlee. “She does.”
“I met him, actually.”
Shit. I could tell she thought she was helping by showing Zed that I’d introduced her to my family, but she had no idea what was actually going on. This had nothing to do with what people might think about our relationship. Zed was trying to sabotage what she and I had, but if I told her that, she’d want to know more.
I was fucked, no matter what.
Zed’s eyebrows went up. “So, the rumors are true. The prodigal’s returned.” He gave me a sideways look. “Although, you always struck me as the prodigal more than a baby brother.”
It was no wonder there hadn’t been as many reports of Zed being caught high as there were of him being drunk. In all honesty, he almost sounded more intelligent when he was high than he normally did.
“This conversation stops here,” I said firmly. “We’re not going to talk about my family.”
Zed held up his hands, palms out as if he was surrendering. “All right, all right. I get you don’t want to talk about them at work…but technically, Joshua was my family too. I mean, he was one of the founding members of Unraveling.”
Thirty-Two
Ashlee
Nate’s brother was a founding member of Unraveling? That didn’t seem possible. I’d been a fan since their first single was released, and I’d been researching every artist Manhattan Records had ever signed. I’d never seen Joshua’s name on anything. No pictures either, and he was a hard man to forget.
I looked up at Nate for a response to Zed’s statement, but one look at his face told me that Zed wasn’t lying, about this at least. Nate was furious, his entire body humming with tension.
“Walk away.” His jaw was clenched so tightly that I didn’t know how he was even managing to speak.
With an obnoxious little salute, Zed backed away, not taking his eyes off Nate. He didn’t have to worry. Nate wasn’t the sort of man who’d wait until someone’s back was turned to hit them. Then again, if what Zed was saying was true, maybe this was another one of those instances where I didn’t know Nate as well as I thought I did.
“Was your brother one of the original members of Unraveling?” I asked, keeping my voice down so that no one else could hear me. “Is that what happened between you two?”
“This isn’t the time or place for that particular story.” Nate didn’t look at me as he spoke.
“All right,” I agreed. “But I’ll want to talk about it later.”
He nodded, then went back to his professional demeanor to greet an older man who came over with an outstretched hand.
I understood him not wanting to talk about it at a work function, especially if it wasn’t something that was common knowledge. I just hoped he realized I was serious when I said I planned to bring it up later. I didn’t like being caught off-guard like that, especially not by Zed Hipwood, of all people.
At some point during the evening, I lost track of names and the faces they belonged to. Other Manhattan Records artists were here, so those I remembered, but all of the people in the music industry outside of the label started blurring together after a while. Then there were the hundreds of media representatives milling around. Everyone from vloggers to reporters from actual newspapers, and all of them wanting a piece of Nate’s attention and time.
I didn’t mind fading into the background, content to watch and listen, to learn. I wasn’t here to make my name known. In fact, now that I’d connected with Finley, I was beginning to wonder if I wanted to be a part of this world after all. Maybe I’d be better off doing something like what my mother did. In fact, now that I thought about it, I realized that the position Nate had set up for me was perfect for going the self-employment route.
I filed those thoughts away as something we’d discuss at some point this weekend. I didn’t plan on venturing out on my own right away, but one of the first things I needed to do was make sure that I wouldn’t be stepping on anyone’s toes when I went.
I was so caught up in my thoughts that, when I realized I was alone, I had no idea where Nate had gone or what he’d said before he’d left. I went up on my toes – which was pretty much pointless thanks to my heels – but still couldn’t see well enough above the crowd to spot him.
Dammit.
I scanned the people closest to me, looking for a familiar face to ask if they knew where Nate had gone. The moment I spotted one coming toward me, however, I had to swallow a curse.
“Ashlee, I was hoping I’d get a chance to talk to you without Nate around.”
Zed was clearly one of those guys who oozed creep even when he was sober. Not that I thought he was completely sober now, just not drunk. I didn’t have a lot of experience with people on drugs, but I was pretty sure he was high.
“I don’t really have anything to say to you, Mr. Hipwood.” I crossed my arms and prayed I wasn’t glaring at him. The last thing Nate and I needed right now was a reporter snapping a picture with the caption ‘Nate Lexington’s girlfriend in spat with Unraveling front man Zed Hipwood.’
“It’s what I’ve got to say to you th
at you’re going to want to hear.”
“Is that so?” I said dryly.
He nodded. “First, I gotta apologize for my behavior when we first met.”
My jaw dropped.
“I can be a real bastard sometimes when I’m drunk. Get all handsy and touching things that aren’t mine to touch. Anyway, I’m sorry about that.”
“Apology accepted.” I was still wary of him, but I wasn’t going to be rude enough to reject an apology that seemed sincere.
“Thanks.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked from heel to toe. “I figured you had to have a forgiving nature, considering you’re dating Nate.”
“What, exactly, is that supposed to mean?” I tried to keep my voice from sounding defensive, but I didn’t quite manage it.
“It’s just that a guy who could betray his brother like that, I don’t think I’d be able to trust him in anything but a professional capacity.”
“Betray his brother how?” A sick feeling settled in my stomach. I should have told Zed to go away, but I’d seen it on Nate’s face. There had been something he hadn’t wanted me to hear about Joshua. I wasn’t going to automatically believe whatever it was Zed was about to say, but I had to know.
“Shit. You don’t know.” Zed rubbed the top of his head as if he felt awkward, but I didn’t believe that for a second. He’d found me because he wanted to tell me whatever Nate didn’t want me to know.
“Just spit it out,” I snapped.
“When I auditioned for Unraveling, Joshua was their keyboardist. He’d joined a couple weeks before me. By the time a few months passed, we’d replaced most of the rest of the band, but we sounded good enough for Joshua to get us a meeting with his big-shot brother.”
The noise from the rest of the guests faded into the background as I listened.
“We were still in the negotiating stage when the shit hit the fan. Turned out, Nate slept with Joshua’s girlfriend. And that wasn’t the worst of it.”
My stomach was churning. I wasn’t sure what could make that any worse.
“Nate told the band that if we didn’t boot Joshua, Manhattan Records wouldn’t sign us.”
Fuck.
A double betrayal, first by having sex with his brother’s girlfriend, then by giving the band an ultimatum to get rid of Joshua.
“I guess I don’t need to ask what choice you made.”
“Look, we’re not proud of it, but Nate hadn’t really given us many options. He threatened to blackball us if we didn’t do it.”
I wanted to say that Nate wouldn’t do anything like that, but I knew from personal experience just how ruthless he could be when it came to getting what he wanted. Hadn’t he blackmailed me into being his date back when we’d met for the first time? I’d told myself that he hadn’t truly meant it. That he wouldn’t have actually fired me if I’d said no. Now, I wondered if that was really the case.
“Don’t take my word for it,” Zed said. “Do a little digging. You’ll find out that Nate Lexington isn’t who he pretends to be.”
With that final ominous declaration, Zed hurried away, leaving me to think about what he’d said and wonder how much I could believe. When I brought this up to Nate tonight, would he give me the same version of the story as the one I’d just heard and expect me to be on his side? Or would he have excuses for what he’d done? Or would he tell me that there was no truth to anything Zed had said and offer me the real story?
One thing was for certain: I wanted answers, and as soon as we left the party, I intended to get them.
Thirty-Three
Nate
I was going to kill Zed Hipwood.
First thing Monday morning, I’d have Jailene combing through Unraveling’s contract to find out if I could fire Zed but keep the rest of the band. Hell, I’d even give him a ‘severance package’ or whatever I needed to call it for it to be legal. I wanted him gone.
Thanks to him, I would need to come up with a creative way of explaining the whole Joshua-Unraveling thing. The last thing I wanted was to ruin my weekend by telling Ashlee the whole dirty truth.
At some point, we’d gotten separated, so by the time I’d made my way back around to her, I was more than ready to leave. The party itself was already a huge success, and Stu was more than capable of handling things on his own.
It wasn’t until we stepped outside that I noticed how quiet Ashlee had been these last few minutes. She wasn’t a naturally talkative person, but this wasn’t a normal sort of silence. It felt more like she was pulling away from me, and I could only blame one person.
Zed fucking Hipwood.
“A&R did an amazing job tonight.” I chose to ease into whatever was on her mind. “Not that I expected anything less.”
“Thank you.” Her voice was calm, polite…and distant. She continued to stare out the window, but the blank expression I could see in her reflection made me believe she was looking away from me more than she was looking at something in particular.
“Saya had the entire band sign a poster and a t-shirt for Catherine.” I held up the bag Saya had given me, but Ashlee didn’t look at it. “I suppose I’ll need to figure out what Jacob’s into so I can get him something similar.”
“I’m sure Catherine will love it.”
Okay, at least she was paying that much attention. I let a minute pass without either of us saying anything, hoping she’d give me something. Anything.
“Are you all right?” I finally asked.
“Did you sleep with Joshua’s girlfriend?”
I felt like a bucket of ice water had just been dumped over my head. When I’d imagined all the ways this conversation could go, I’d never pictured her flat-out asking me that question. The only thing that could’ve prompted it was someone telling her what’d happened all those years ago. I had a pretty good idea of who that person was, but I asked it anyway, not wanting to jump to any conclusions.
“Where did you hear that?”
The edge to my question was far too sharp, but it was too late to call it back.
“Zed.”
“And you’re just going to believe him? Since he’s clearly such a reliable person.” I was making it worse, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“No, Nate, I’m not ‘just believing’ him. I’m asking you to tell me what happened.” She sounded tired.
“Why bother?” I snapped. “You clearly know the answer, or you’d have told Zed to fuck off.”
The more I said, the deeper I buried myself. Why was I arguing with her as if she’d accused me of something I hadn’t done? Granted, there was context to go around it, but the fact of my having slept with Joshua’s girlfriend was the truth.
She finally turned toward me, eyes flashing. “I don’t know the answer, Nate. That’s why I’m asking. I’m sorry that you don’t like me having to ask, but you’re not exactly an open book about anything that matters.”
“So, it matters if I had sex with my brother’s girlfriend?”
I tried to convince myself that the real reason the question came out angry had nothing to do with the fear that had kept me from telling her any of this in the first place. I was a shitty brother and not a much better man. I didn’t deserve someone like her, and this would be what made her finally see it.
“Should it?”
I had no answer for that, so I ignored it and continued on the offensive. “It’s not like you’ve always been the most honest person in the world when it comes to your past.”
Her mouth flattened into a line, and I knew I’d struck a nerve. “You’re right. I kept my reasons for being at Manhattan Records to myself. But when you had suspicions that I wasn’t being completely honest, you didn’t ask me a straightforward question. You went off on me. Should I have resorted to that tactic to get the truth out of you?”
“I apologized for that.”
“Yes, you did, but you don’t seem like you’ve learned very much from it,” she countered. “If you talked to me about things that mattered, may
be I wouldn’t have to hear rumors secondhand and then come to you for clarification because I’d looked like an idiot.”
“Maybe you should just trust me to know what’s best for you,” I shot back. “Or do you only trust me when it comes to fucking you?”
Color flooded her cheeks. “I trust you during sex because I know you’d never physically hurt me. You’re not that sort of man. But when it comes to my heart, I still don’t know how much I can trust you not to hurt me.”
She was right, no matter how much I hated to admit it.
“Maybe, once in a while, you could trust me,” she continued. “Trust that when I ask a question, it’s not an attack. Trust that I want to know the answer, and I want to talk it through with you if it’s an answer I don’t like.”
I wanted to believe what she was saying, but I couldn’t. She didn’t know what I’d done, so how could she know how she’d feel when she learned it? My own family had cut me out of their lives. People who were supposed to love me unconditionally.
Then again, I’d betrayed one of them first, so I supposed I deserved it.
Except they didn’t know the whole story. No one did. And I intended to keep it that way.
Besides, if they had really known me, they wouldn’t have believed the worst to begin with. Or, maybe, if I hadn’t always been such an ass, they would’ve had a reason to stop and listen.
Either way, it didn’t matter. My life was fucked up, and nothing was going to change it. Not Joshua moving back here. Not having dinner with my family without there being an argument. And not finding someone I cared about enough to want a real relationship with her.
Thirty-Four
Ashlee
I waited for his response, hoping he would acknowledge that he needed to work on trusting me. His first impulse when he felt threatened in any way was to fight back. He needed to start thinking first, determining if what was being said was even an actual attack.
