Returned to the Light

by C. M. Radcliff

  “I already got Rowena to fuck with Griffin. But that little boy over there is like striking gold. If I snatched him up…” his voice trails off. “Man, I would have the whole world at my fucking fingertips.” He stares after Trent. Suddenly, he rises to his feet and walks around the back of the bench. He wraps his hand around my shoulder, giving it a hard squeeze. “It was good seein’ you, little sis.” I feel his breath on my ear as he gets closer. “Take good care of that little guy. You never know what could happen.” I feel the color draining from my face. A lump forms in my throat as horrific images flood my mind.

  He let’s go, and I hear the rustling of the grass as he’s walking away. I turn back and look at him. “I’ll see ya soon,” he says over his shoulder. My body starts to shake; my hairs standing on end. I jump up, looking for Trent. I sprint to him, swiftly scooping him up. I can’t hold back the tears with the mix of emotions running through my body. I hold him tightly in my arms, watching the distance grow between Jared and us.

  chapter twenty-four

  RYDER

  IT ALL WENT TO SHIT in a matter of minutes. After so much time had passed, I finally had Lydia back. We found each other again. She was mine, and I was ready to start a life with her and Trent. And now, I may have lost it all.

  I called her phone countless times until she turned it off. I needed to talk to her; to explain myself and what she saw. I waited for her to call me back, but she never did. After calling everyone I could think of and getting nowhere, I got in my car and drove to Griffin’s. All of the lights were off and her car wasn’t there. My next stop was Pierce and Cara’s. And there she was. I pulled up along the curb of the street and could see Lydia through the window. She was smiling and laughing, as if nothing had happened. A few moments passed as I watched her inside the house, wanting to go to her. But I didn’t. Instead, I turned my car around and went home, spending the rest of the night staring at the ceiling. I tossed and turned, wishing I could turn back time and cursing myself for not going to her.

  Somehow, I eventually passed out, but not for long.

  She wakes me up. Not physically, but mentally.

  I jump out of bed, not knowing what time it is. Grabbing my phone, I eagerly check for a text or a phone call from her. I’m greeted with nothing but a blank screen. Clutching it tightly in my hand, I chuck the phone at the wall and hear the screen shatter on impact. A loud thud echoes through the room as it falls to the floor.

  Fuck.

  Add getting another new phone to my list of things to do today.

  But that’s the least of my concerns. First things first—I’m getting my girl back today.

  I get dressed in a rush, not bothering to pick up the broken phone on the floor. I quickly brush my teeth and sprint down the stairs. Without breaking my stride, I grab my keys and keep moving until I’m outside getting into my car. As soon as the engine starts, I throw it in drive and slam my foot on the gas, peeling out of the driveway and onto the road. I race through town, driving recklessly, until I reach Pierce and Cara’s house. The car comes to a screeching halt as I slam on the brakes and put it in park.

  Lydia’s car isn’t here.

  I get out, not bothering to turn the car off, and march up to the front of the house. I push the doorbell and wait a few moments. When no one answers, my hand forms a fist and I pound on the door loudly. Cara rips it open and glares at me.

  “Where is she?” I ask in a rush. I barely get ‘she’ out before Cara slams the door in my face. I bring my hand up, knocking hard and louder. “Please, Cara,” I plead, “I need to talk to her.” I keep knocking until the door opens again.

  “Why the Hell should I tell you where she is?” Cara inquires, her voice laced with hostility.

  “I need to talk to her,” I pause, “about last night.”

  “Leave her alone, Ryder,” she cuts her eyes at me. “You’ve done enough damage. Just let her be.”

  I shake my head. “No. I can’t. She’s got it all wrong. She needs to know that.”

  She steps towards me, walking out the door and quietly closing it behind her. “Listen, motherfucker,” she seethes, driving her finger into my chest. “She was finally getting past everything until she came back here. You’re fucking with her head, and it’s not good for her. Leave her the hell alone. You showed her that she really doesn’t need you, and I refuse to let you destroy her.”

  I stare at her, unsure what to say. Neither of them know what really happened. I should have told Lydia last night. I open my mouth to respond, but Cara cuts me off.

  “Now get the hell off of my property before I let Pierce know you stopped by,” she threatens in a low voice. Her jaw tightens as her eyes bore holes into mine.

  I nod, slowly backing away from the house. “I’m sorry,” I tell her quietly.

  “I’m not the one you owe an apology to,” she pauses, stepping back into the house. “Don’t bother. Your actions already proved why your words mean absolutely nothing.” A flash of disappointment flashes through her eyes before she slams the door shut.

  With my head hung in defeat, I walk back to my car and get in. Putting my hands on the steering wheel, I tighten my grip until my knuckles grow white. I stare through the windshield, my mind marinating in her words. Destroying Lydia is the last thing I’m going to let happen. My words are not invalid, because with my actions, I did nothing wrong. I just need her to know that.

  I heard every word that Cara said.

  But fuck that.

  I will find Lydia.

  And she will hear what I have to say.

  I PULL UP AT GRIFFIN’S house and, yet again, her car isn’t here. As I put the car in park, I notice Griffin coming out of the house and walking towards me. I get out, closing the door behind me, and see the look on his face. His dark eyes are glazed over, his jaw clenched, and his eyebrows pinched together. I can see the tension in his body and feel the anger radiating off of him as he closes in on me.

  “Griffin,” I start, but that’s the only word I get out. He drives his fist into my face, putting the weight of his body into the punch. My head swiftly turns to the side as I stumbled backwards into the car. My back hits the metal frame just as his other fist connects with the opposite side of my face. The force catches me off guard, forcing my face the other way. I don’t bother defending myself or fighting back. In his eyes, this is what I deserve. And maybe it is.

  After a few more blows to my face, I feel the stickiness of warm blood coating my face. I can taste the blood filling my mouth. My knees give in and I fall to the ground. I can’t think or see straight. The only thing keeping me conscious is the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

  “You’re really gonna take it like a bitch?” Griffin taunts. “Stand the fuck up,” he snaps.

  Using what little strength I have, I slowly climb to my feet. Through swollen eyes, I stare at him, ready for whatever comes next.

  “I know you’re here for her,” he growls. “Explain yourself, now.” His voice is harsh and cold.

  “What she thinks happened is wrong.” My words come out slurred as blood trickles from my mouth.

  “Then what happened?” He demands.

  “Jess. She showed up. She wanted me to choose her. I told her no and that I was with Lydia. I was trying to get her out when Lydia showed up,” I pause and wipe the blood from my mouth. “She made her own assumptions and left before I could explain. I got Jess to leave, and now, I can’t find Lydia.”

  He stares at me for a moment.

  “You know I wouldn’t do that to her. She means everything to me,” I quietly confess.

  He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Fuck,” he mutters as he exhales. “I know you wouldn’t.” He runs his hands through his hair, turning his back to me. He turns back around, looking at me with regret. “I thought you fucked her over and I overreacted,” he says. “My bad, man.”

  I shake my head at him. “You reacted exactly how you should have. But now you know the truth.” />
  He nods, reluctantly. “She took Trent to the park,” he remarks. “You can wait here for her.” He takes in my appearance. “We should probably get you cleaned up.”

  I lightly touch my bloodied face and look down at my now stained shirt. I push myself off of the side of the car and slowly walk beside Griffin towards the house. He tries to help me walk, but I brush his arm away. His phone starts to ring in his pocket as we reach the front steps. He pulls it out of his pocket, and I see her name on the screen. He stops walking and looks at me before answering.

  “Hey,” he says into the speaker. “What’s wrong?” His expression grows worrisome. “Slow down, it’s okay.” Suddenly, his body becomes rigid and his face loses all color. “Get in your car and lock your doors. I’ll be right there,” he tells her sternly.

  He ends the call and turns towards me.

  “What’s going on?” My words come out in a rush.

  “Give me your keys,” he demands. I hand them over to him without a question. He moves quickly, walking over to my car. “Get in. We need to go, now.”

  The adrenaline in my body kicks back in and I stride over to the car, climbing into the passenger’s seat. As soon as I’m in, he starts driving. I look over at him, waiting for him to give me something. He stares straight ahead, our speed increasing to dangerous speeds.

  “Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on?” I finally say.

  He looks over at me with dark, cold eyes.

  “Jared found Lydia and Trent.”

  chapter twenty-five

  RYDER

  WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK?!

  I stare at Griffin, unsure of what to say. How in the hell did this happen? This shouldn’t have happened. Why was she out alone? So many questions run through my mind, but the only thing that matters is getting to Lydia and making sure she is safe. And then, that motherfucker is dead. Feelings of rage begin to boil deep inside, threatening to consume my body. I fight against it to keep the monster at bay. For now, that will have to wait, and then, when it’s time, I’ll willingly succumb to the darkness inside me. I plan on tearing Jared apart, ever so slowly, limb by fucking limb.

  Griffin blows through every red light, not bothering to look for oncoming traffic. He passes every car in front of us that threatens to slow us down. He races down the streets, only skidding to a complete stop when we reach Lydia’s car at the park. We’re both out of the car in a matter of seconds. Lydia looks like a statue, frozen in her seat, staring straight ahead. Griffin lightly knocks on her window, saying her name. She jumps and looks over, her eyes wide and filled with fear. A look of relief passes over her face and her eyes fill with tears when she sees that it’s us.

  “Lydia,” Griffin says, loud enough for her to hear through the window, “you can unlock the doors. It’s just us.” She briefly looks down, the locks clicking as she hits the button. Griffin quickly opens the door and helps her out of the car. Her body starts to shake as she clings onto him.

  It should be me that she’s holding onto.

  She pulls away, frantically looking at the car. “Trent,” she croaks. I quickly walk to the other side of the car, pulling him out along with his carseat.

  “I got him,” I tell her, my eyes searching hers. They’re filled with a mix of emotions as she stares at the two of us. A few tears fall as a small sob escapes her lips. A strong force inside me urges me to take her into my arms and to wipe away all of her tears. She quickly nods and turns back to Griffin who helps her into the front seat of my car. I get Trent’s carseat situated in the back and strap him in. I climb in the other side, sitting diagonal from Lydia so I can see her.

  Griffin starts driving, leaving her car at the park. We drive in silence until we reach Griffin’s house. Lydia gets out, grabbing Trent, who fell asleep, and rushing into the house and up to her room.

  “We need to find out what happened,” I tell Griffin in a hushed voice as we enter the house.

  He nods. “We do. But we can’t push her.” Just as he finishes his sentence, Lydia comes walking back downstairs. Her demeanor has changed and her eyes have grown cold. Any sense of fear has been replaced with anger. She looks at me, drawing her eyebrows together in confusion.

  “What the hell happened to you?” she inquires.

  “This guy happened,” I point towards Griffin. A hint of amusement passes over her face as her lips slightly curl upwards.

  “Good,” she remarks, with satisfaction in her voice. She looks back and forth between Griffin and I. “I’m guessing you guys want to know what happened.” Her voice is void of any emotion.

  “We don’t have to talk about it right now,” Griffin assures her.

  “There’s no better time than the present,” she deadpans. “Jared showed up at the park, and we had a little chat. He said he has all of us exactly where he wants us right now, but he doesn’t know what he wants to do with us yet. He threatened taking Trent, and then, he left.”

  “Goddamnit,” Griffin growls, loudly. “He’s playing his fucking games again.”

  Lydia watches him, the expression on her face changing. “Griffin,” she barks, gaining his attention, “who is Rowena?”

  As soon as she speaks her name, Griffin freezes in place. He stares at her, his eyes wide and full of fear. He doesn’t move; doesn’t breathe. He just stares, as if he’s paralyzed. Time slows down as she waits for his response. Finally he opens his mouth to talk. “What did he say about her?” His voice is barely audible.

  “He said that he has her.” Lydia’s voice is filled with concern. Her walls are slowly crumbling as her emotions start to resurface.

  Griffin lets out a deep breath. “She isn’t dead?” His voice is filled with hope.

  Lydia stares at him and shakes her head. I can see the reality of everything that has happened settling in her mind. I can feel the fear and the anger beginning to radiate from her body. As her eyes slowly become glossy, she casts them down towards the floor, trying to fight back the tears. She’s slowly losing control, and I can see her breakdown coming before it happens.

  With Griffin lost in his own thoughts, I’m the one who catches her as her knees buckle. I scoop her into my arms and carry her into the living room. She doesn’t fight against me. Instead, she wraps her arms around my neck and buries her head in my chest, finally giving in to her emotions. Her body shakes and wracks with every sob. I sit down on the couch, holding her against me. I hold her tightly until her crying slowly subsides.

  “We can’t stay here any longer,” she tells me quietly against my chest.

  “What do you mean?” I ask in confusion. I have a feeling she doesn’t mean us.

  She pushes off of me and puts some distance between us, moving away from me on the couch. She wrings her hands together, looking down at the ground. “Trent and I need to leave earlier than originally planned. It’s not safe for us here anymore.”

  “But where will you go?” I’m afraid to hear her answer.

  “We’ll be going…” her voice trails off as she pauses, “home,” she admits quietly.

  I feel every word being driven into my heart like a sharp knife. Her home is supposed to be with me, not over one thousand miles away. Just the thought pushes the blade deeper into my heart. I went through her leaving once before, and I don’t know if I can go through it again and survive it.

  “Lydia,” I plead, “you’re safer here. We will keep you safe.”

  “We’ve seen how well that’s worked out so far,” she snaps, cutting her eyes at me. I wince. Maybe she’s right, but I’m not ready to let her go.

  “I don’t like the thought of you both being that far away without anyone.”

  Without me.

  She sighs and softens her eyes. “I know you don’t, but it’s not your decision to make.”

  I could beg for her to stay. I could tell her everything that happened with Jess and have her see the truth, that it wasn’t what it looked like. But I don’t. I can see the look in her eyes. Her
mind is already made up and she’s leaving. This time, she’s telling me instead of disappearing, and I don’t know which hurts worse. Reluctantly, I nod and fight to conceal the pain inside.

  She grabs my hand and her hazel eyes search mine. When they connect, I feel it in every fiber of my being. She was made for me and only me. “Everything will work out. It will all be okay.” Her voice wavers, as though she’s trying to convince herself and not me. She slowly rises to her feet, letting go of my hand. “I should get upstairs to Trent,” she says. “Thank you, Ryder, for everything.” I stare up at her, unsure of what to say. She bends down, cupping my face in her hands.

  “I’ll always love you,” she whispers, with her eyes filled with tears and her voice full of emotion. She places a soft kiss on my forehead, and then, she’s gone. She’s left me stunned and completely frozen in place.

  I feel the need to run after her deep inside. My heart and soul urge for me to go to her; to convince her to stay and plead for her to not leave me. My mind is clouded and filled with pain. She never once said anything about us. But maybe there wasn’t an ‘us’ anymore and our time together was up. The odds were always against us.

  I can’t even think straight anymore. She was letting me go, and I was letting her. I move on autopilot, rising to my feet and letting myself out the door. I don’t bother saying anything to Griffin, who’s consumed with finding Rowena. I’d hear from him sooner or later.

  The drive home is a blur. I don’t bother walking upstairs to my room. Collapsing on the couch, I lie alone in the dark and welcome the numbness that consumes my mind and soul.

  I’m nothing without her. And that’s exactly what I become.

  A shell of a person, no longer with a purpose.

  chapter twenty-six

  LYDIA

  “I NEED YOU TO PROMISE me that you’ll call as soon as you guys touch ground,” Griffin insists, holding onto my shoulders. A mixed expression takes over his tired face. Dark bags lie under his eyes as if he hasn’t slept in days.