by Lanie Olson
Copyright © 2019 Lanie Olson
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
The Palace of Cruel Hearts
Chapter 6
Wonderland The Outskirts
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
The Court of Emptines
Chapter 9
Wonderland The Environs
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
The Price of Fear
Chapter 13
Carroll’s Home for Troubled Youth
Chapter 14
A Glimpse at The Black Queen Coming this winter
About the Author
Prologue
“Tell me Alisanne, do you remember what it felt like to fall?”
I keep my eyes trained on the chess board.
I don’t like to talk about that and Ever knows it. But instead of getting up and leaving the table, I stay because he’s the only one here that knows how to play this game as well as I do.
“No,” I mumble, chewing my lower lip. I reach over and pick up my remaining bishop as I narrow my eyes at his end of the board. The Queen—if I take the Queen, then victory is mine.
“You’re lying,” he replies sounding rather amused. “I can tell because you’re about to eat your lip. That’s what you always do when you’re lying.”
I raise my eyes slowly and look into his, wondering how it is that he still manages to bug me sometimes after all these years. Ever Hart; big blue eyes, obsidian black hair that falls just below his ears, twenty-two years old, and a sociopath through and through. It’s what landed him here at Carroll’s Home for Troubled Youth. He aged out four years ago, but the courts wouldn’t put him in jail because they felt that he wasn’t responsible for the many crimes he committed in his youth, and gave him another ten years here instead.
I didn’t mind it at first because it meant another ten years with my friend since I’m probably going to be a lifer here myself. I just wish he’d learn to be a friend more than a foe sometimes.
“I’m concentrating, this is what I do when I’m concentrating,” I snap at him. He chuckles, shakes his head, and shrugs. I push my long, blonde hair behind my shoulders before I place the bishop back on the board. Suddenly, I’ve lost the urge to play the game.
That’s what happened last time.
That’s why I ran.
It’s also why the Queen thought she had me. She wanted a war because I was an unwelcome stranger in an unknown land. I refused her request to visit her in her palace built on tyranny and blood. It was when she decided that my head would make an excellent addition to the collection in her rose garden.
The cat … strange, dark, and so damn brilliant. He helped me find my way to the hare and the hatter. The man whose veins flowed with mercury but somehow managed to live. The hare that was just as crazy as him. They told me to seek the counsel of the White Rabbit, who in turn, pointed me toward the caterpillar.
He was no fun.
He was a constant barrage of riddles and sarcasm.
But then the cat showed up again.
He grinned at me, and without a word, he ran.
I followed.
I escaped.
I angered the Queen.
And she wants revenge.
Chapter One
It’s half past midnight and I’m lying in bed staring at the cracked, white ceiling above my head. Insomnia is one of my afflictions, borderline personality disorder being the other. Dr. Carpenter tells me that I have pseudologia fantastica on top of everything else, but I don’t believe him. What I saw was real. What I felt was real. And I managed to escape with my life.
“Alice.”
The familiar whisper echoes through my room and I smile slightly. Ever likes to call me Alice even though I’m not fond of it. I prop myself up on my elbows and watch him slip into the room, locking the door behind him, then scoot over as he climbs into bed with me.
“Sorry about earlier,” he says quietly. “I know you don’t want to talk about it because no one really believes you, but I do. It’s why I ask so many questions, you know?” I turn on my side and look at him as I rest my cheek on my hands and nod. He does believe me and that’s why I have to keep telling him that I don’t remember.
Ever may be a friend, but he’ll always put his best interests first and I know he’ll want me to take him to where it all happened.
A daring escape that would land us even longer time here. If that’s possible, I think sadly.
“Which one is your favorite?” I ask him thoughtfully.
“The cat. He sounds like he was a lot of fun. What was his name again?” he inquires, turning his face toward mine. The beds we sleep in are small and not made for two people, but I always make room for him, and he does his best not to take up more space than he needs to.
“I didn’t ask.”
“Oh.”
I sigh as he shifts on the bed, clasping his hands behind his back. There are more questions on the tip of his tongue, but we can’t be caught in the same room. That’s against the rules and one of us would end up confined in the White Room for twenty-four hours. A sensory depravity chamber designed to make the inhabitant understand that true madness is only a locked door away. They sit us on a white, cushioned chair, strap us on, and leave the lights on so that there’s nothing to see but the white walls closing in on us.
We call it the Throne of Insanity.
They call it a necessity to keep their “troubled youths” in check.
I’ve only been on the throne once, while Ever has been on it three times. It doesn’t stop us from being friends or hiding in my room together at night. They haven’t found us out yet and we’re much more careful now to ensure that they won’t.
“What do you want to do tonight, Alice?” he suddenly asks.
It’s the same question every night that he manages to sneak out of the boys’ dormitory to the girls’ side of the institution.
“Sleep,” I reply softly.
It’s the same answer I always give him.
I know that Ever wants more from me, but outside of the brave girl I was once upon a time in a land unknown, I don’t feel much like anything.
An empty shell of what I saw that I could be is what I am now.
Ever lets out a heavy sigh as he slides an arm under my body and pulls me close to him. One day, I’ll be the brave girl again and maybe then, he’ll see me for what I can be instead of what I am.
Maybe then …
Chapter Two
I don’t like my sessions with Dr. Carpenter.
I lay on the chaise lounge, hands clasped firmly on my stomach, my eyes open staring at his ceiling while he asks me the same questions over and over. He tells me that he wants to make a breakthrough with me, to help me understand that it was all in my head, but I don’t believe him.
Much like he doesn’t believe me.
Today is different, though.
He greeted me when I walked into his stuffy office, directed me to lie on the
couch, and hasn’t said a word since. I know that he wants me to tell him about all of the things that haunt me, but I don’t feel much like talking about it.
“Did you get any sleep last night, Miss Gryphon?” he finally asks, clicking his pen rapidly.
“No.”
“Have you been following your regimen?” he presses.
“Yes.”
Dr. Carpenter blows out his breath. “I think you’re lying. In fact, I know you’re lying. The orderlies tell me that you haven’t shown up the past couple of nights to take your medication. Why is that, Alisanne?”
“Because I don’t like the way the pills make me feel,” I reply, turning my eyes toward him. His hair is wiry and red, his eyes as green as the garden that I escaped from, and his soul as dull as how I felt when I made my way home. The gold frames of his glasses remind me of the invitation that I was extended and rebuffed. I shudder slightly as I turn my eyes away from him and decide to focus on the clear blue skies outside of his window instead.
I think part of the reason I’m so uncomfortable around Dr. Carpenter is because he brings back more memories of that damn place than the ones I left with.
“How are you and Mr. Hart getting along these days?” he prods intrusively. I don’t have to look at him to know that he has an amused smile on his weathered lips. Whenever I refuse to talk about myself, which is more often the case than not, he brings up Ever to see if he can bait me.
I haven’t slipped yet, and I don’t plan on giving him more information than he needs to know about me and my friend. It will only give him fuel to drive us apart.
“Fine.”
“I’ve been thinking of having him transferred,” he continues conversationally.
I sit up immediately, a gasp escaping me as I turn to face him. The look in his eyes as he nods tells me that no matter how careful we’ve been, he thinks he’s figured us out. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and get to my feet.
The one rule Dr. Carpenter has is that if we no longer feel comfortable during our sessions, we’re allowed to leave.
“I could have the paperwork finalized by Wednesday,” he threatens as I make my way past him.
I’ve reached the door at this point. My hand is wrapped so tightly around the doorknob that my knuckles are white. I’m becoming angry, and nothing good has ever come from that. It’s how I ended up in the White Room, my first and only time. Dr. Carpenter pushed me too far and I exploded in a rage, attacking him with his stupid notepad, breaking his glasses, and leaving scratches on his face.
Twenty-four hours is the standard time in that room—my little outburst cost me seventy-two.
And now, I have forty-eight hours to figure out how to keep Ever here where I need him the most.
We have to run.
Chapter Three
It’s eight o’clock at night and the session with Dr. Carpenter is still haunting me.
He never makes a threat that he doesn’t intend on following through on, and while I know there’s little to no hope of escaping, I have to try.
Unfortunately, I didn’t see Ever after the session. I asked Miss Lory, the kindest of the orderlies, if she had seen him, and she told me that he was in the boys’ dorms. She said she checked on him an hour before the session and that he was sitting in the common room staring out the window.
We’re more a like than I care to think, because he’s as much of a dreamer as I am. He once told me what he would have done if he were with me when I was wondering around the Strange Lands, and his dreams are much more full of rage than mine.
I did what I had to do out of necessity, he would have done the same only because he would have enjoyed it.
No one would have survived—not even us.
Maybe he does deserve to be in a different place, one better equipped to deal with his violent tendencies, but this is where I need him and this is where he has to stay.
I understand that it makes me selfish, but silent games of chess with Ever are the only things that make me happy anymore. Even when he pokes and prods me, wanting every last gory detail, his presence is enough to keep me in the moment and not the memories.
A soft tap at my door draws my attention, and I prop myself up on my elbows. I’m expecting Ever to sneak into my room, but instead, it’s Miss Lory. She gives me a kind smile as she walks toward me and sits on the edge of the bed.
“I have something to tell you, honey,” she begins gently.
My heart begins to race.
I always think the worse of any situation, because that way, when the worse happens, I won’t feel so let down.
“Dr. Carpenter wants to transfer Ever,” she says slowly.
“I know,” I reply dejectedly.
“I’m going to court tomorrow. I’ll say my piece as best as I can and convince the judge that it’s in his best interest to stay here.”
I blink back tears.
No one wants Ever here except for me.
He’s not very kind to the orderlies, the rest of the “troubled youths” or himself. He’s only kind to me, and those moments can be far and few in between when he wants them to be.
“Why?” I ask in a shaky whisper.
“I don’t know,” she answers thoughtfully. “I guess I have a soft spot in my heart for him. I’ve also noticed that ever since the two of you have started spending time together, he’s a lot easier to handle—and so are you,” she finishes with a chuckle. “Honestly, I see it as taking two lonely puppies that bonded in a shelter together and splitting them apart. Neither of you would last very long, and I don’t have the heart to watch you fade away, Alisanne.”
I wipe away a stray tear and Miss Lory reaches forward to push my hair out of my face. “Come on. Let’s go for a walk and visit with Ever. I think it’ll do both of you some good.”
As I get to my feet and let her lead me out of my room against the institute’s rules, I know that the only way for us to stay together is to leave tonight.
Chapter Four
“You didn’t kill her, did you?” I ask Ever in a shrill voice as we run across the back of the property.
“What?” he asks as he pulls me along. “No! I just knocked her out! She’ll be fine in no time. Keep running, Alice, or they’ll catch us!”
We crush the freshly cut grass under our bare feet as we run as quickly as we can. I know that soon we’ll come across the high, chain-link fence that we’ll have to figure out how to get over, but Ever is as strong as he is smart and I know it’ll be easier than it should be.
My foot connects against a hidden stone and I let out a yelp of pain, letting go of his hand and dropping to my knees. Ever scoops me up in his arms and keeps running toward the fence. Maybe it won’t be so easy now that I’ve hurt myself, and I can only hope that he won’t leave me behind. I’m hoping that he’ll find a way to get me over the fence too, but I won’t know until the moment comes.
“Almost there, kid!” he assures me as he shifts me in his arms. His body is shaking and I can’t tell if it’s from the adrenaline that has to be coursing through his veins, or if the burden of carrying me is starting to wear on him.
“Fuck,” he mutters when we finally reach the fence. He puts me down on my feet, and I wince slightly wondering if I’ve possibly broken a toe on that stupid rock. “Give me a second to catch my breath,” he says as he leans down and presses his hands against his knees.
“We don’t have a few seconds, Ever,” I hiss at him.
“Yeah, you’re right. You first, Alice,” he says, grabbing my arms and hosting me up onto his shoulders. “Grab the links and start climbing.”
“But my foot—”
“Go,” he snaps at me as he pushes me up the fence by my bum. I take a deep breath as I begin to pull myself up, gingerly placing my injured foot inside one of the links. It hurts like hell, but this is the only way out and we’ve already come this far. Going back now would get him transferred for sure.
Ever scales the fence much quicker than I d
o and props himself up on the top, one leg on either side to steady himself. He reaches down his hands and pulls me up the rest of the way, then shoves me over the side.
I fall onto the ground.
Hard.
I don’t think he’s noticed because once he jumps down, he picks me up and begins running again.
I think I hit my head and the world is spinning around us, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He doesn’t see the small trail of blood that we’re leaving behind and I won’t tell him.
Not if I want him to keep going.
Not if I want us to make it.
Chapter Five
When I open my eyes again, I can hear a stream somewhere nearby. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and the flowers are singing.
The flowers are ... singing?
I sit up quickly then groan, placing a hand on the back of my head. A chuckle greets my ears and when I glance to my left, I see Ever sitting on the grass next to me. He looks different somehow, but I can’t quite place it yet.
“You’ve been out for a while, kid,” he remarks, a grin on his lips. “You okay?”
I gingerly touch the bump on the back of my head again and nod. “I’m okay. Did we get far?”
“Farther than I thought we would,” he replies with an eye roll. “Come here,” he says, extending an arm toward me. I scoot over and rest my head on his shoulder as he runs a hand gently over the back of my head. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to hurt you when I tossed you over the fence.”
“I know,” I say quietly.
