by Amanda Sun
I guess my tone was too serious, because she hesitated. “I don’t know why,” she said slowly, “but this sounds important to you.”
My mouth felt dry, the truth caught in my throat. “It is.”
“Then I’ll vote for whatever you choose,” Yuki said. “And I’ll rally as many votes as I can.”
Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. How was I so lucky to have a friend like her? “Thank you,” I said. “You’re the best.”
“On one condition, though.” She started to giggle. “You have to help me get alone time with Tan-kun, so he can figure out how he feels about me.”
I grinned. “I promise.”
We hung up and I tossed the phone onto the low table beside my bed. December was only a few weeks away. Could the world hang on until then? I wished I knew what Jun was thinking, how exactly he planned to become the ruler of Japan or whatever he was thinking. He’d have to eventually reveal himself as a Kami, but in such a way that the police wouldn’t take him down as a criminal. He wanted the world to embrace him as a ruler, I knew that much. He was too arrogant to take things by force. He wanted the world kneeling, groveling, offering him a crown on a platter.
December. It seemed too far away.
I slipped the Future Plan assignment off my desk and stared at the empty boxes where I was supposed to fill out my answers.
I grabbed a pen and wrote in the tidiest Japanese I could.
“I want to become a journalist like my mother. I want to stay in Japan and translate for the English newspapers in Tokyo or Osaka. I want to embrace my life here with my Japanese friends.
I want to have a future that matters.”
Ishikawa shouted at the top of his lungs, his bamboo shinai swinging toward my stomach. My foot squeaked across the gym floor as I stepped back, my own shinai rising up to meet his. They cracked against each other as I defended myself, but Ishikawa was fast. A minute later he swung it around and tapped my arm.
“Point,” he yelled, lowering his bamboo sword to the ground.
I hunched over, panting, and rested my shinai on the floor as well, where it rolled and clanked against his. “How can you be so fast?” I said, pulling the kote gloves off my sweating hands.
Ishikawa unlaced the back of his helmet and pulled it from his shoulders. He grinned at me. “Speak for yourself,” he said. “You’re getting faster.”
“It’s only because of your shoulder,” I said, pointing to the spot where he’d been bandaged up after taking the bullet from Tomo’s sketched gun. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t go so easy on you.”
Ishikawa grinned, slipping the soaked bandanna off his head. “Naturally I’d expect you to let me win since I’ve saved Yuuto’s life.” He reached for a water bottle on the bench tucked against the gym wall. “He’s back at school next week, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said, sitting down on the bench as Ishikawa chugged the water. “Do you think he’ll have time to get it all together for the tournament?”
Ishikawa raised an eyebrow, the thin line of black brushing against the tips of his white spikes. “You know about the deal with Watanabe-sensei, don’t you?” I shook my head, and he leaned in like a conspirator. “Coach has been letting him come in after-hours to practice.”
I blinked. “Seriously?”
He nodded, screwing the lid back on his water. “You don’t think they’d actually let him go a month without practice this close to the nationals, right?”
“How come he didn’t tell me?”
“He probably didn’t want you to worry,” Ishikawa said. “Breaking the rules of his suspension could’ve gotten him expelled. Anyway, he’s always been the type to keep his secrets close.” He made air quotes. “To ‘protect his friends,’ and shit.”
I smirked. “In your case, it was the right thing to do.”
He narrowed his eyes, but a smile tugged at his lips. “I’m pretty sure we’ve had this discussion, Greene.” He sat on the bench beside me, his legs sprawled out and his wrists balanced on his knees. “Whether he was right or not, he shut me out. It gets tiring after a while, when your best friend doesn’t trust you with his secrets.” He ran a hand through his hair, still slick with sweat. He may have won the sparring match just now, but he looked so defeated.
His face was a mix of guilt and pain. I had to say something. “It’s not just you,” I tried. “He does it to me, too.”
He tilted his head back, his white hair flattened against the gym wall. “Yeah, but it’s different. He keeps it from me because he can’t trust me. He keeps it from you because he cares about you.”
“He cares about you, too,” I said. “He’s protecting both of us.”
Ishikawa let out a single laugh. “He’s an idiot. He should’ve let those punks get me after the prefecture tournament.” The attack that had got both of them arrested, because Ishikawa had been stupid enough to pull his knife.
“You’re joking, right? You’d be back in the hospital again.”
He smirked. “Or worse.”
His tone sent a chill through me. “Ishikawa,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “You okay?”
“I’m not worth anything,” he said. His eyes were dull as he stared across the gym. “Yuuto...he’s so goddamned smart. He can miss a month of classes and still whip the hell out of his entrance exams. It’s not like that for me, Greene. While he’s studying I’m on the street corner for some kind of shitty job they have me on.”
“Then don’t go,” I said. “Stay home and study.”
Ishikawa balled his hand into a fist and bounced it against the bench. “You don’t get it,” he said. “I’m not smart like you guys, okay? I try to study and it’s like I just can’t focus.” He lowered his voice to a quiet murmur. “There’s no future for me, Greene. I can’t be who I am. I can’t be who I want to be. I’m stuck.”
I couldn’t believe he was telling me all this. The culture in Japan was to keep your troubles to yourself so you didn’t bother others. Sometimes I wanted to speak up, like when things happened on the train, and Diane would grab my arm and shake her head no. It would be embarrassing for them if I interfered, she’d told me. But here was Ishikawa spilling out his deepest thoughts, his shortcomings, without even caring anymore. Was it a good sign he was being so open, or bad?
“It’s okay,” I said. “You’re probably too tangled in your past decisions to feel like you have a way out.”
“There is no way out,” Ishikawa said, looking down at his hands. “I can’t see one.”
I folded my arms across my chest and leaned back against the wall. “There is one,” I said. “Get off the street and sit at your desk. You going to let Tomo beat you at this? Someone who’s fighting with every breath to stay human? Someone who kept his secret from you so you wouldn’t get hurt?” I took a breath, trying to find the right words. “He fought those punks right alongside you, Ishikawa. He was arrested with you. You matter to him, and if you give up, he’ll never forgive you.”
Ishikawa was silent for a moment, staring at me with his head tilted in thought. Then a big smirk crossed his lips as he nodded his head slowly, thinking about what I’d said.
“Yeah.” He bit his lip before he continued. “Yuuto’s dealing with ancient crap that I can’t even imagine. If he can deal with the Kami spirit trying to take over his body, then I can handle some stupid entrance exams and Yakuza wannabes.”
“Right,” I said. “Tomo’s fighting for a world where you get to choose, Ishikawa. So don’t screw it up.”
He grinned. “I was wrong about you, Greene. I thought you’d distract Yuuto from who he was meant to be. But I’m starting to get it now, that what you guys have is different. Whether it pans out in the end, who knows? But it matters that you have this time, right now.” He took a swig of the water bottle, resting it against the bench as he hunched over.
“If it can’t be me... I’m glad it’s you.”
Oh. Oh. So it was true, what I’d wondered those times when I’d seen him look at Tomo like that. “Have you...have you told him how you feel?”
Ishikawa shrugged. “There’s no point. Enough about me, Greene. Kuse, you’re so nosy.”
I must have misunderstood. “What?”
He shook his head, pulling the kote gloves from his arms, the colors of his tattoo weaving around his skin in rainbows of ink. “Nosy,” he said. “Annoying. Irritating.” He laughed. “Just the way it should be. I’m not going to lose my best friend to someone like you. Now tell me what’s next.”
He wanted to drop the subject; I got it. “What do you know about the December field trip?” I said.
“Field trip?” Ishikawa narrowed one eye, looking at me like I’d grown another head. “Student council voted on that last week. They’re going to Nikko.”
My heart dropped. “Nikko? But...but Yuki said we could put in a vote for Ise.”
“Ise?” he said. “As in Ise Jingu the shrine? Why the hell would you want to go there?” His expression shifted from confusion to understanding. “This has to do with Yuuto, doesn’t it?”
I nodded. Around us, the other kendouka were starting to pack up the bogu armor from practice, so we got up and started unlacing our dou, as well. “It...it has to do with these dreams I’ve been having,” I said. “I think it’s a way to save Tomo.”
“Then it can’t wait until December,” Ishikawa said, shrugging out of the plastic chest plate. “You need to go now.”
“It’s four hours away,” I said. “My aunt is going to notice I’m missing.”
“Then come up with an excuse,” Ishikawa said, rolling his eyes. “You going to let the world collapse because your aunt won’t let you go to Ise?”
I looked down and smoothed out the pleats in my hakama skirt. “I know, but...”
Ishikawa grabbed my arms suddenly, his fingers wrapping around my elbows, his face too close to mine. “Greene,” he said, his eyes gleaming and earnest. “Go to Ise. If there’s some way to save him, you’ve got to chase after it with your last breath.” He closed his eyes, thinking for a moment, and then opened them again. “You’ve got to do it because I can’t.”
He was right. We had to gather the last two treasures now.
We were already out of time.
I nodded. “I’ll find a way.”
* * *
The dream lifted slowly around me from the shadows, the sound of the ink waterfall hissing in my ears. A tall pagoda loomed over me, its curled rooftops stretched out like tiny pairs of wings between the stories of crimson-red walls. Pagodas were usually Buddhist, I’d thought, but nevertheless I saw Amaterasu standing beside it, draped in a simple white kimono and obi. Her eyes were round and red, the tears dried on her cheeks.
I stepped toward her.
“You found the Magatama,” she said to me. “Only two remain.”
“I will go to Ise,” I said, resting a hand against the pagoda wall. “But what’s going to happen when we collect the treasures?”
“Tsukiyomi will be stopped,” she said.
“And Jun?”
She nodded slowly. “Susanou’s heir will suffer the death foretold.”
The words caught in my throat. “Jun... Jun will die, too?”
“In the end, there is only death,” she said, something she’d told Tomo and Jun over and over.
“I don’t want to kill him,” I said. “Just stop him from killing others.”
“It is not for you to decide,” Amaterasu said. “He is the one who stains his soul with it.”
I shook my head. “I’ve had enough. I don’t want Jun to die. You said I would betray Tomo. I won’t. We’re not going to listen to you anymore.”
She paused, tilting her head to the side. The golden beads threaded in her hair tinkled as they swung and collided. In the distance, I could hear the ravens calling to one another.
Finally, she spoke. “There is another way.”
The adrenaline pulsed through me. Another way? Why didn’t she tell us?
“I told Yuu Tomohiro,” she said as if I’d spoken out loud. “The Sanshu no Jingi will free him, just as they freed the one destined to be emperor.”
“You mean Jimmu,” I said, and she nodded.
“If Yuu Tomohiro can accept the full truth of himself, then the sword named Kusanagi can cleave the darkness of Tsukiyomi from him.”
The thought sounded vaguely familiar. Hadn’t Tomo suggested the same thing, that he’d had dreams where Amaterasu had told him this?
“Then...I don’t have to betray him,” I said.
She shook her head. “But only if he has the strength to face himself—all of him—once uniting the treasures. Find the mirror, then the sword. They will mark the way to the tangle he wove.”
“The tangle?”
The hissing of the waterfalls grew louder. It was ink, wasn’t it? It sounded almost like a pit of snakes...
Amaterasu raised the palm of her hand slowly, outstretched toward me. Did she want me to take her hand in mine? I stood, unsure what to do.
Then I heard the growls.
I turned to see a pack of inugami, their eyes glowing with turquoise light, their lips curled back as they snarled and bared their teeth. They crouched on their haunches, ready to pounce.
The panic coursed through me like a jolt. If I hurried, I could make it to the pagoda door.
I wouldn’t make it.
I might.
I leaped forward, and so did the inugami.
The powerful jaws clamped around my ankle, and I screamed out in pain.
The scream sent Diane running, pulling me back into the safety of the waking world.
When I woke again to the early Saturday morning light, Diane was already long gone. She had to supervise Drama Club practice, followed by an English club meeting, which meant it was the perfect time to take off for Ise and not have to answer any questions.
The guilt spread through me like heat as I scribbled down a note that I was out shopping with Yuki, that I was going to sleep over until Sunday. I hated lying to Diane when she trusted me so much. There was no reason to lie to her about anything—she listened to me, and she cared. I didn’t have to sneak around—she wanted me to invite Tomo for dinner, and she trusted me even when I wasn’t sure of myself.
I bit my lip as I forced myself to write the note. A Kami war was smoldering beneath the surface of the day-to-day world. If I didn’t go to Ise, if Tomo and I didn’t follow this one lead we had, what would happen to Japan? What was Jun truly capable of? I had to go to protect Diane, to protect everyone.
I grabbed the largest purse I had, a soft pink-and-gold one I’d bought when I really was shopping with Yuki. It had lace and diamond charms dangling down from the strap, the overly frilly style that was popular with a lot of girls here. “You’ll fit right in,” Yuki had said. I glanced into the mirror in the hallway. Yeah, right. Maybe I should dye my hair.
I shuffled into some tan flats that matched the beige wool coat Diane had bought me and locked the door, tripping over the tips of my shoes as I ran to Shizuoka Station. Tomo was already there, a backpack slung over his shoulder and a paper bag from the station coffee shop hanging from his arm.
“Ohayo.” He smiled, and my insides lit. I was going on a trip with Tomo, just the two of us. For a moment, I could almost forget that we were going to save his life and stop Jun. It wasn’t so much that I’d lost focus on what mattered. I just longed for the normal life we could have had. Not that Diane would ever let me go on a trip with a guy in a normal world.
“Morning,” I said, and we headed toward the bullet train platforms. “Are you okay to do this?”
“We need to,” he
said. “The Magatama lit a fire in me that won’t stop burning.” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye as we turned toward the wall of ticket machines. “The nightmares. Did they...did they get worse for you?”
I shuddered at the memory of the inugami. “Mostly they’re clearer. Amaterasu being less cryptic and all that. But...some of it isn’t so pleasant, no.”
“Clearer?” Tomo shook his head and adjusted the backpack on his shoulder.
“Aren’t yours?”
His eyes looked haunted as he hesitated, wondering if he should tell me. “They’re worse. A lot more death, for one thing.”
“Death?”
He pursed his lips, a look of disgust on his face. “I’m not the only one descended from...from him,” he said, lowering his voice as passengers milled around us. “The dreams where I see Taira and Tokugawa—the dreams where I am them—they’ve changed. I’m not just running from the shadows anymore. I’m leading their campaigns.”
Campaigns? Oh. My stomach twisted as I thought about what he meant. Taira no Kiyomori and Tokugawa Ieyasu led some serious military actions against the other samurai families, against other Kami. Jun had told me what happened to unwanted Kami back then.
“Tomo?” I said, not wanting to give my question a voice.
I didn’t have to. He looked down at his hands, the coffee shop bag swinging from side to side. “I can’t take much more blood on my hands.”
I shuddered. “Just dreams,” I said, but the words felt hollow on my tongue.
Tomo said nothing, but stepped toward a free ticket machine and punched in our destination. We’d take the bullet train to Nagoya first, then switch trains for a smaller line to Ise City. “Should we stop in Nagoya first, to go to Atsuta Shrine?” I said, but Tomo shook his head.
“The mirror next,” he said. “We’ll get the sword on our way back. It’s the order Amaterasu said over and over in her dream. Anyway, it’s easier that way to get back to Shizuoka if something happens to Jun after we touch all the treasures.”
I thought back to the nightmare I’d had the night before. Find the mirror, then the sword. Why? I wondered. I thought about it as we stepped onto the train from the white stone platform. Because the sword will cleave Tsukiyomi from Tomo, I thought. And a sword as powerful as that needs an instruction manual. The truth from the mirror...wouldn’t it give us what we needed to know?
