"Preston, I don't want to talk about last night." I go around him to my desk and set the flowers down. "Like I told you this morning, I don't want to keep going out with you. It's not working between us."
He meets me by my desk. "How can you say that? We have fun together. And we have a lot in common."
"We really don't. Even if we did, that's not the only thing that matters. We don't have chemistry. I see you more as a friend than as a boyfriend."
I realized that as soon as I kissed Reed. I always thought chemistry was just thinking a guy was hot and wanting to kiss him. But now I know it's more than that. It's a feeling that takes over your mind, your body, your emotions. Kissing Preston is just our lips coming together. Nothing else.
"Yeah, well, maybe you'd feel some chemistry if you let me get past first base," he says, sounding angry.
"I told you I wanted to go slow."
He raises his voice. "We WERE going slow. God, Lilly, how much slower could we go?"
"I don't want to argue about this. We're not going out again." I walk to the door and open it. "Goodbye, Preston."
He comes in front of me and shuts the door. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm just frustrated. I don't know what else to do for you. Whatever I do is never good enough."
Here comes the guilt trip. Putting all the blame on me for why things didn't work out. I hate it when guys do that.
When I don't respond, he says, "Is there someone else?"
"It doesn't matter. It's not about that."
"So there IS someone else. Who is it?"
"Just go." I try to open the door, but he holds it shut.
"Tell me who it is." He turns so he's blocking the door.
"It's none of your business. You're not my boyfriend. You never were. You and I only went on a few dates. You shouldn't be getting this upset."
"Was is that guy from orientation?"
I don't answer him.
"When I was walking over here to see you, I saw him coming out of your dorm. Was he here to see you or someone else?"
"I told you, it's none of your business. Now leave."
"You could never be with a guy like that. You know that, right? You're a Kensington. You shouldn't even be friends with someone like him."
I glance away. "You don't know anything about him."
"I don't have to. I can tell just by looking at him. How much do you know about that guy?"
"Would you please just leave?"
"I'm just looking out for you, Lilly. I know we haven't known each other long, but I care about you."
If he cared so much, he would've walked me back to my room last night.
He reaches in his pocket and pulls something out. "I got you this." He's holding a bracelet; blue and black beads on a black cord. "I saw you wearing one like this last night. I thought you might want another one."
"It's really pretty, but I can't accept it."
"Just take it. If you don't, I'll just throw it out." When I don't take it, he goes and sets it on my desk, then comes back in front of me. "Let's go to dinner. Just as friends."
"I'm sorry, but I can't." I open the door.
He stares at me a moment, then says, "If you change your mind, call me."
Once he's gone, I go over to Willow's room. She's doing homework at her desk but she closes her laptop when I walk in.
"I broke up with Preston," I say, sitting on her bed. "He didn't take it well. And he saw Reed leaving our dorm so now Preston assumes I'm dating Reed."
She smiles. "Are you?"
I smile back. "Yes. Well, I will be, now that I'm no longer with Preston."
"How was your drawing day, or whatever it was?"
"Perfect." I fall back on her bed and close my eyes, remembering it. "We found this little spot overlooking the ocean. Had a picnic lunch. And had the greatest kiss I've ever had. Heat. Sparks. All that stuff you talked about. I finally had that type of kiss. And it was amazing."
"See? I told you you were meant to be with him."
I sit up. "No you didn't. Just last night you were going to ask him out."
"That was before I knew how much you liked him." She puts her feet up on her desk. "Now we need to find someone for me."
I get up from her bed. "I want to go see him. Do you care? I know I just came in here but—"
"Go ahead. I've been there. In love. Can't wait to see the person. Don't want to spend a second apart."
"I'm not in love. I just want to go see him and talk to him."
"Yeah, I'm sure you'll just talk." She smiles as she opens her laptop.
"What are you doing tonight?"
"Going to a party with some girls from our floor. We're not going until nine. Until then, I have to do homework. You wouldn't believe how much my professors assigned. You think they'd give us a break the first week."
"I'll let you get back to work. See ya later."
I call Reed as I return to my room. "Can I come over?" I ask when he answers.
"You already talked to Preston?"
"Yeah. I don't want to talk about it. What's your room number?"
"Why don't I come over there?"
"I've never seen your room. I want to check it out."
He tells me his room number and I head over there. His door is open when I arrive.
"There's not much to see," he says. "Just a basic dorm room."
He doesn't have much, not even a TV. His bed has light blue sheets and a navy blanket, no comforter.
"You surf?" I ask, noticing the surfboard in the corner.
"Ever since I was a kid. We didn't live that far from the beach so I surfed all the time. I even won a few competitions."
That explains his lean, muscular body. He doesn't seem like someone who would go to a gym.
"I love this artwork." I point to the series of large square prints on the wall. They're mounted in lightweight acrylic frames suspended from a metal wire. I like how it looks. It's industrial, almost like a piece of modern art. The prints are mostly abstract designs; some color, some black and white. And they all have words on them. Strange words, like maybe they're the names of bands. "Are these album covers?"
"Yeah. I enlarged them and printed them out."
"Are these your favorite bands?"
"No." He laughs a little.
"Why is that funny?"
"I don't really like their music."
"You just liked their album covers?"
"I guess you could say that."
I turn back to face him. "What are you not telling me?"
"I made those. I designed the covers."
"Are you serious?"
"I do it on the side to make money for school."
"You design album covers?"
"Yeah," he says nonchalantly.
"Reed. That's like the coolest thing ever!"
He smiles. "I guess. It helps pay the bills."
"How did you get started doing that?"
"Last year I was waiting for my dad outside the building of a record label in LA. He had a meeting for one of the tours he was managing. We were going to dinner afterward so I met him there. I was on the steps, drawing, just killing time, and some guy from a band saw my work and asked if I'd design his album cover. I agreed to it and it just took off from there. I didn't get paid much for the first one and my dad was pissed. He said I should be making way more than I did, so he helped me negotiate the next deal." Reed puts his arms around my waist. "I've made decent money doing it, which is why you don't have to worry about me paying for stuff. I have money to take you out. So can I take you out? Are you done dating that guy?"
"Yes. I'm definitely single."
He leans down by my ear. "I don't want you to be single. I want you to be mine."
"I want that too," I whisper, my eyes closing as I feel his mouth over my lips.
He kisses me, slowly, but just once. Then he looks at me. "I don't want to rush this, okay? With everything going on with my mom, my life is kind of a mess right now and I can't always give you a
s much time as I'd like. Some weekends I'll have to go to LA and check on my mom and—"
"Reed, I don't expect you to spend all your time with me. I like having time to myself."
"I do too. But I also like being with you." He pauses. "Today was one of the best days I've had in a really long time."
"Same here. And as for not rushing this, I agree."
He tugs me closer and smiles. "Now that we got that out of the way..."
He brings his hand up behind my neck, tilts my face up to his and kisses me. I part my lips and feel his tongue and his warm breath. And just like when he kissed me before, sparks ignite, heat building inside me. I grip his shirt, not wanting him to pull away. I want more of this. More of him.
"God, I love kissing you," he whispers over my lips.
"Then don't stop," I whisper back.
He rests his forehead against mine. "Take it slow, remember? We have plenty of time."
Just a few days ago I was telling Preston to take it slow, and now with Reed I'm ready to speed it up. I'm not ready for sex, but I want to do more than kiss him. When I'm with him, I don't feel anxious or scared he's going to try to force me to do things I'm not ready to do. I felt that way with Preston, which should've been a red flag, but I've felt that way with so many other guys that I didn't see it as a warning. I thought it was just me and my lack of experience. But it wasn't that. I felt that way because those other guys didn't care about me. They were just hoping to use me and move on. I don't get that feeling from Reed. As Willow would say, he has a good aura.
She's right. Feelings tell you more than words, and I have a good feeling about Reed.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"Let's go out," Reed says.
"Where do you want to go?"
"There's this coffee shop like a half hour from here that has live music on the weekends. The music varies. It's mostly Indie bands from around the area."
"How did you hear about it?"
"I went there once before school started. I was on campus a week early because of my job. When I wasn't working, I got bored and drove around to see what there was to do."
"I'm sure there were parties going on. The sports teams get here early."
"I don't really get into the party scene."
"Because you don't drink? Or some other reason?"
"I just don't." He lets me go and gets his wallet from his desk. "We should get some dinner. What are you in the mood for?"
"Maybe Mexican? I could go for some tacos."
"I know the perfect place. Come on." He takes my hand, pulling me to the door. I go to open it, but he grabs the handle before I do. "I have to be careful around you and doors."
"What are you talking about?" And then I laugh, remembering the day I hit him with the door, knocking the box from his hand. "I'm really sorry about that. The wind caught it. I swear."
"Yeah, I'm sure it did." He's smiling. "But just to be safe, I'll get the doors."
"I made a great first impression, didn't I?" I ask as we're walking to his Jeep. My phone rings. It's Garret. I have to answer or he'll freak out and think I'm dead and then drive up here and check.
"I have to get this," I say to Reed.
"Go ahead."
"Hi, Garret. What do you need?"
He laughs. "Can't I just call to say hi?"
"Yes, but it's Saturday night, which means you're calling to check on me and make sure I'm not at some wild party getting drunk."
He's quiet and then, "You're not, are you?"
"Yes. Can't you tell? I'm drunk at a wild party with boys everywhere."
"Lilly, that's not funny."
I roll my eyes. "Garret, you know that's not me. Is that really why you called?"
"Actually I was calling to see if it was okay if Jade and I brought the kids up there tomorrow morning and we all went out for brunch. We'll leave when we're done so you can do homework or whatever."
"What time?"
"Maybe ten-thirty?"
"Yeah. That works."
"So what are you—"
"Don't ask, because I'm not telling you."
"You're out with a guy, aren't you? I can tell by your voice."
"No, you can't."
"Yes, I can. I know girls. I live with three of them and I know how girls sound when they like a guy."
"Abi and Hannah are too young to like boys."
"You'd think that, but yesterday I caught them talking to each other about some boy at school."
"Seriously?" I laugh.
He sighs. "Unfortunately, yes. His name is Jacob and he's in second grade. After hearing that, I told Jade I'm putting them in an all girls school, but she won't let me. Anyway, the higher voice? The giggles? The fast talking? I know the signs."
"I didn't do any of those things."
"You did all of them. You just don't realize it. So who is it?"
"I'm not telling you."
"Where are you guys going?"
"Stop asking. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Just be careful, okay?"
"Yeah. Got it. Bye."
"Who was that?" Reed asks.
"My overprotective brother. He doesn't want me dating anyone. He thinks all guys are bad."
"Have you told him anything about me?"
"No. I try to keep my dating life private. My dad's even more protective of me than my brother, so if you ever meet them, we should pretend we're just friends and then later I'll tell them you're my boyfriend. It'll give my dad and brother time to get to know you before assuming you have ill intentions. They'll assume that anyway, but less so if they think you're just a friend."
We're at his Jeep now and Reed opens my door, but catches me around my waist, smiling. "Are you saying I'm your boyfriend?"
"Oh, um, no. I mean..." I look up at him. "Are you?"
"It's only our first date, but if you want me to be, then yes."
"No, that's okay. It's too soon." I pull away, but he holds onto me.
"I've never been big on labels, but for some reason I liked hearing you call me your boyfriend. So if you want to call me that, go ahead."
"But that means I'm your girlfriend, and if you don't like labels then..."
"Don't worry about it. We're good." He helps me in the Jeep and as he's going around to his side, I hear him say 'girlfriend' to himself, shaking his head.
"What was that for?" I ask as he fastens his seat belt.
"What?"
"Why were you talking to yourself?"
"I wasn't."
"You just said the word 'girlfriend' when you were walking around the car."
"I was testing it out. I've never called a girl my girlfriend."
"You've never had a girlfriend?"
"I've never dated someone long enough to call her that." He pulls out of the parking lot. "So it's weird that I haven't even been on a real date with you and I'm already calling you my girlfriend."
"Then you shouldn't call me that."
"That's the thing." He reaches for my hand. "I want to call you that."
His comment makes butterflies take off in my stomach. I really like this guy. I like the way he treats me and the way he makes me feel. I like that he's honest and tells me what he's thinking. And I like that he already feels like a close friend even though we haven't known each other that long.
We have dinner, then go to the coffee shop. The band plays a mix of music, and for a local band, they're pretty good. I still think Reed looks like he's in a rock band with his black t-shirt, dark hair, the stubble along his face. He's really hot.
He catches me watching him and leans over and kisses me. "You want to get out of here?"
We've been here a couple hours, sitting at a table that other people probably want. The place is packed.
"Yeah, let's go."
We return to campus and go back to my dorm. He stands outside my door.
"So tomorrow after your family leaves, do you want to work on your drawing? I never showed you how to draw the water so that it loo
ks like it's slipping off the rocks."
"Yeah, we should do that." I hesitate. "Do you want to come in?"
"I probably shouldn't."
I nod, disappointed.
"Hey." He lifts my chin and fixes his eyes on mine. "I've moved too fast in relationships in the past and it always leads to them ending. I don't want that to happen to us. That's why I'm not coming in. It's not because I don't want to." He presses his lips to mine, then talks over them. "Believe me, I want to." He kisses me again. A long, slow kiss. "Shit, I need to leave." He backs away. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye."
Later that night, I lie in bed thinking about Reed. Thinking about what a good person he is, taking care of his mom, working multiple jobs to pay for her rehab and her apartment and whatever else she needs. And he's humble. If I hadn't asked him about those album covers in his room, he probably wouldn't have told me he designed them. Guys like Preston would brag about that and use it to try to impress girls. I'm so glad I dumped that loser. I hope he doesn't keep bothering me to go out with him. I'm guessing he won't. He's probably already found someone new.
The next morning, Jade and Garret arrive. As soon as I open my door, the kids come running up to me, nearly knocking me over.
"Aunt Lilly!" they all yell at once.
"Hi, guys." I pick up Ethan. He matches his twin brother, wearing tiny jeans and a white polo shirt, little white sneakers on his feet.
"Me!" Miles reaches up, wanting to be held.
Hannah and Abi are both hugging me. I can't even move.
"Aunt Lilly, will you come home with us?" Abi asks.
"Pleeeezzz," Hannah begs.
"You want to watch them for the day?" Garret asks, his arm around Jade. "Jade and I thought we'd drive up the coast. Have dinner later."
"He's kidding," Jade says.
Actually, I think they'd both love a few hours without the kids. They don't get much alone time. I don't know how they do it. There's no way I could have four kids. It's too many.
"Me!" Miles is about to cry, his arms reaching up to me.
I set Ethan down and pick up Miles, which makes Ethan cry but I can't hold both of them at the same time.
"Ethan, it's okay," I tell him, but he's still crying.
Garret scoops up Ethan, which instantly stops the crying. He loves his dad.
Lilly: A Kensington Family Novel Page 12
