by Jon Jacks
‘Wellll, he might just have been told to put the frighteners on us.’
‘Yeah, well he’s successfully achieved that. So can we go now?’
‘Sorry guys,’ says the Lye, who’s obviously been listening in to our conversation. ‘I’m afraid it’s a bit more than a frightener. But you know, what can I do eh? Business is business, ain’t it?’
‘This is a dirty business, even for a Lye,’ I point out.
He chuckles.
‘Oh no no; my main job’s the real dirty business!’
He rubs one of his sleeves, throwing up vast, dark plumes of soot and coal dust.
‘I’m the chief prop in a coalmine. Whereas this side-line job well, it gives me the chance to get a bit of sun on my face, don’t it?’
I can’t see how he gets any sun on his face, seeing as how it’s pitch black with soot.
‘Sooo,’ Kris says, ‘what is your side-line exactly?’
‘Well, you know; intimidation, general threatening behaviour – oh yeah, and more or less just about anything else people want sorted out. So I suppose it’s a pretty open-ended job really, yeah?’
‘And so this particular job is, er, exactly what then?’
‘Well, let’s just say that on my resume, I make sure I highlight my skills and proficiency in both bodily harm and death.’
‘Ah,’ Kris says.
‘Ah,’ I say.
‘It pays so well, you see?’ the Lye continues. ‘And there’s a lower tax rate for freelancing and consultancy, right? Plus there’s all the fringe benefits; you’re not tied to the nine to five slog are you, eh? And it gives me a sense of purpose, knowing I’m helping people deal with their problems.’
‘Oh, er, if I could just clear something up?’ Kris asks hesitantly. ‘Are we talking here about the bodily harm bit or the, er, second part you mentioned?’
‘Well, I can’t tell a lie can I?’
He chuckles merrily again.
‘Oh, I always like that one, don’t you, eh? But anyway, to make it easier for you, right, let’s just say that I’ve had my eye on a beach hut down at Pebble Sands for quite a while now – and well, I can afford it now, if you get my drift, yeah?’
As he’s casually chatted away, I’ve decided it’s time for action.
Turning my back on him, I quickly start rummaging in the front pocket of Kris’s magic dungarees.
‘There’s got to be something in here to help – marbles?’
I pull out handfuls of marbles.
‘That’s it? Marbles? Against a giant?’
To empty my hands and start rummaging around again as quickly as possible, I toss the marbles over my shoulders.
‘Nothing! Absolutely noth– owwchhh!’
The marbles come flying back at me, hitting me about my head.
Kerrrrrbbbblaaaammmmm!
The ground shakes like it’s a miniature earthquake.
I whirl around.
The Lye is lying on the floor!
(Please! That isn’t meant to be a joke!)
He’s on his back. He’s hit the ground so hard, he’s not only unconscious but a massive cloud of soot is swiftly rising into the air.
‘We did it!’ I cry excitedly.
‘Well, the marbles actually,’ Kris points out like the spoilsport he is. ‘He slipped on them an– oh ohhh!’
‘He’s anxiously looking up into the air.
I look up with him.
‘Oh ohhh!’
It’s the cloud of soot.
What goes up must come down – unless you have some kind of handy magic spell.
Which I don’t.
Cough cough cough!
Splutter splutter splutter!
Drat this soot!
*
Chapter 14
‘Keep your distance please!’ Henry insists as we solemnly walk home.
When he’d seen me and Kris – completely covered in soot, apart from the white bits around our eyes where we’d closed them as the soot fell around us – he’d made it quite plain that he wasn’t going to let us get anywhere near him.
‘I had a bath only last month, thank you very much, and so I’m in no rush to have another one.
Even when we’d finally, wearily made it home, he still wouldn’t give up his grumbling.
‘I’ll see myself back to the stable, if you please. You two could do with a good rub down each!’
As soon as we’d stepped inside the house, I realised I was starving.
I was way way too hungry to bother getting washed and cleaned up until I’d had something to eat.
‘The egg! That blooming egg! That’s what I’m going to eat!’
*
I fill the pot up with water and place it over the fire.
I open my shoulder bag, where I’d put the candle and egg as soon as Mary had refused to accept them as ‘gifts’.
Wouldn’t you know it?
It’s full of soot.
I rummage around once more.
I feel the egg.
I pull it out, my hand covered in soot.
Yeah you guessed; the egg’s completely black too.
If only the Princess had wanted a black egg!
I carefully drop the sooty egg in the water, thinking, Hey, the boiling water will clean it.
And as I watch the egg roll in the water, something very, very strange happens.
‘Well I never…’ I gasp in astonishment.
*
Chapter 15
Standing proudly on a high, slender plinth positioned in the centre of the large aquarium, the silver egg sparkles under the lights directed on it.
The exotic fish swimming by give it curious glances.
The wedding guests filing past the aquarium look on at it in undisguised awe.
They had read about the silver egg in the newspapers.
It was the genuine thing, they had read; a silver egg, as laid by the goose who would normally only lay golden eggs.
Immediately after the official announcement of Princess Pea’s engagement, the paparazzi had descended on Mary’s house. Asking her question after question about the Royal Aquarium’s centrepiece; a startlingly gorgeous silver egg.
Of course, with so much flattery and interest flying her way, what could Mary do but claim that, Yes, of course she had laid the silver egg; where else could such a gorgeous object have come from? But no, unfortunately she wouldn’t be laying any more as, naturally, its creation had required an extra dollop of magic, as provided by the Queendom’s Witch Minder General.
Rumours (the spoken kind) of my magical powers had also soared amongst the more criminal fraternity of the Queendom. They had heard from the defeated Lye that he had only been beaten because I’d unfairly thrown a whole array of dangerous spells at him.
Kris and I have arrived a little late at the wedding reception.
We missed the arrival of the Prince in the gas-filled balloon that, now moored in the palace garden, is almost drawing as much interest as the silver egg.
‘Oh Terry, Terry!’
I look up from drinking my lemonade.
Princess Pea, almost tripping up over an elaborate and ridiculously long white dress, is excitedly heading my way through the crowds.
She’s dragging behind her a rather dim-witted looking man. He doesn’t really seem suited to the brightly coloured military uniform he’s wearing either.
‘Terry, you haven’t met my Prince, have you?’ she gushes, pushing the man somewhat reluctantly closer towards me. ‘My Prince who came down from the heavens; Prince Torrid!’
He gives both Kris and me a limp handshake, giving the distinct impression that he’d rather not be anywhere near us at all.
‘Talking of heavens, darling,’ he says, ‘I think it’s time I graced the heavens once again, as I promised our guests!’
‘Oh yes, yes,’ of course dear,’ the Princess trills brightly.
She stands up straight, then hollers out in a voice that wouldn’t
have been out of place in the town’s market;
‘Everybody outside, unless you want to miss the Prince’s ascent to the heavens!’
To the sound of excited murmurs and the clinking of glasses being quickly drained and placed on tables, everyone begins to quickly file outside.
The Prince imperiously strides out through one of the large, open French windows, then heads out across the lawn towards the waiting balloon.
For the moment, the Princess stays with us.
‘Er, Prince Torrid?’ I whisper to her. ‘I thought you said you wanted to marry Prin–’
‘Yes, yes,’ she whispers back, while managing to smile at anyone glancing our way as they pass, ‘but he had to go and try and get a silver egg himself, didn’t he? Got himself killed; serves him right really, silly fool!’
‘Princess,’ Kris butts in, ‘if we might mention the previously discussed payment…’
‘Of course, of course,’ she hisses, ‘I’ve got it here.’
She slips a hand beneath the layers of her dress, producing a gleaming silver egg.
‘It was easy to get it made as soon as mummy lifted her ban,’ she says conspiratorially as she hands it to me.
‘Thanks Terry; worth every penny,’ she adds with a wink. ‘Now, better dash; don’t want to miss the Prince going up in his balloon. You coming?’
‘Er no no, not just yet. Soon, soon,’ I reply.
With a final smile, she gathers up her dress and trots outside, precariously balancing on her amazingly high heels.
‘We’re going to have to work quickly,’ I say to Kris. ‘Keep an eye on the doors, and let me know if anyone comes back in!’
*
Chapter 16
Pulling a chair up alongside the aquarium, I quickly clamber up onto it.
I pull the aquarium’s lid off to one side.
I know how to do this swiftly and easily as I’ve done it before.
Just a few days ago, in fact.
When I’d first placed the silver egg in the aquarium.
See, I’d asked the Princess to leave me alone in the room, saying the magic spells necessary to conjure up the silver egg might be dangerous.
The Queen had already had the plinth installed in the centre of the aquarium.
‘This is such a simple task I’ve set,’ she’d explained to the Princess, ‘that I’m sure there must be one prince who can achieve it!’
So as soon as I was in the room on my own, and I’d removed the aquarium’s lid, I’d carefully placed the egg I’d brought along with me on the plinth.
Once it was in the water, the egg had sparkled as if it were made of silver.
Now, as I remove the aquarium’s lid once more, I carefully reach into the water and take my original egg off the plinth.
Then I replace it with the real silver egg.
I tenderly place my own egg in my shoulder bag amongst the soot I’ve left in there as padding.
Then I slip the aquarium’s lid back into place.
As soon as I’ve pulled the chair aside, everything looks exactly as it should be; the sparkling silver egg is the aquarium’s gloriously beautiful centrepiece once more.
‘Hmn, very good, Terry,’ Kris says, ‘But of course, this means you didn’t really receive any payment for–’
Before he can finish his complaint, he’s cut off by an ear-piercing scream coming from the garden outside.
*
Chapter 17
‘What’s happened?’ I ask the distraught, wailing Princess when we rush out into the garden.
All around us, everyone seems to be in a panic.
‘It was a Piercing Shriek!’ she says.
‘Yes yes, we heard it! But what–’
‘No, no, I mean it really was a Piercing Shriek!’
She points up into the sky.
The Prince’s brightly coloured balloon is being attacked by an even more brightly coloured flying creature with enormous, bat-like wings.
It also has an incredibly long beak, which it’s using to puncture the balloon again and again.
‘Oh, I see,’ I say. ‘You mean a real Piercing Shriek!’
With a horrified gasp from the crowd, the deflated balloon begins to plunge towards the ground.
‘Oh Princess, I’m sorry, I’m so sor–’
‘I can’t believe it!’ the Princess says, stamping her foot irately. ‘And after all the trouble I’ve been to, too!’
She turns to me, gives me a gracious smile.
‘Terry, do you mind? I think I might be giving you another call, pretty soon; is that all right?’
*
Chapter 18
‘So, not much for your trouble is it?’ Kris says forlornly as I carefully unpack the soot-blackened egg from my shoulder bag. ‘A black egg?’
I drop the egg into the pot of water I’ve placed over the fire, ready for boiling.
Once it’s in the water, the egg immediately glistens like silver once more.
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ I say happily. ‘I mean, it’s not every day, is it, that someone can have a boiled silver egg for dinner?’
*
So how did I create the ‘magic’ Silver Egg?
When I placed the sooty egg in the water, the soot repels enough of the water to ensure it’s surrounded by a thin film of air – and that makes it shine as if it’s made of silver!
If you want to try it for yourself, you can completely cover an egg in a black, sooty coating by carefully holding it near a candle flame; but please make sure that either an adult or a responsible person like Kris is present! As you know, flames are dangerous!
End
If you enjoyed reading this book, please remember to click that you liked it on the Kindle Rating icon.
You may also enjoy (or you may know someone else who might enjoy) these other books by Jon Jacks.
The Caught
The Rules
Chapter One
The Changes
Sleeping Ugly
The Barking Detective Agency
The Healing
The Lost Fairy Tale
A Horse for a Kingdom
Charity
The Most Beautiful Things
The Last Train
The Dream Swallowers
Nyx; Granddaughter of the Night
Jonah and the Alligator
Glastonbury Sirens
Dr Jekyll’s Maid
The 500-Year Circus
P
The Endless Game
DoriaN A
Wyrd Girl
Heartache High (Vol I)
Heartache High: The Primer (Vol II)
Heartache High: The Wakening (Vol III)
Coming Soon
Seecrets
The Wicker Slippers
