by Jo Raven
“Hey.” I lean against the huge glass doors of the building, weak with relief. “You’re okay.”
“Yes, I’m okay. Why shouldn’t I be?”
“Where are you, Tess?”
“At work, I stayed late. Why? What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I thought…” I close my eyes. “Well, the others thought you’d gone back to your apartment to get some things, and we were worried you’d run into your ex. You weren’t answering your phone.”
Silence ticks by. “I didn’t hear it,” she whispers. “Must have put it on silent by mistake. Where are you?”
“Outside your building.” I blink and push off the door, try to remember if there’s a bus stop nearby. “Glad you’re okay. Didn’t mean to bother you.”
“You’re not bothering me.” She sounds like she’s smiling, and I have no idea why, but I’m still reeling with relief at the fact she’s okay. “I wouldn’t go back alone. I promise.”
“Good,” I say gruffly. “That’s good.”
“Look, I’m finished here. I can come pick you up and take you home.”
“You don’t have to.”
“No, but I want to.”
I chew on that. She’s being polite. And I should say no. She’s made her position clear, and Zane pounded it home. But I want so see her so much it’s like a physical ache, and let’s be honest, now that the adrenaline is fading, I feel like I’m hung over to hell and like my skin is stretched too tight over my bones.
“Dylan? Are you still there?”
“Yeah, I am. Thanks. I’ll wait for you.”
“Great. Be there in ten.”
She disconnects, and I stare out into the gathering darkness. Yeah, I’ll wait for as long as it takes.
***
“You always work late?” I lean back on the leather seat of Tessa’s jeep and try not to shiver too hard. It’s warm inside the car. Compared to the icy wind blowing outside, it’s like sitting inside a furnace. And I’m still cold.
“No. I wanted to finish writing a funding request letter, so I could send it.”
“Funding request letter… What do you do there exactly?”
Her eyes brighten as she starts talking about her new job—the significance of the archaeological site, the social aspects, her part in it.
“You’re amazing,” I say when she stops to take a breath. A smile tugs at my lips. “I mean it.”
Her cheeks flush. “Thanks. I adore this job. I don’t think I’ve ever been this interested in my college classes.”
“So you’re dropping out of college?”
“For now. Maybe for a year, to decide what to do and get my life back on track.” She tucks a strand of hair behind an ear. “So much has changed. So much to do.”
Something is different about her. I try to figure it out. Her sweater is falling off one shoulder, baring her smooth flesh. She’s wearing skin-tight, ripped jeans and tall boots. Her hair is caught in a messy ponytail. All this is new, and still…
Her face. It’s so fresh and beautiful. Her skin is bare of any powders and creams, letting faint freckles show on her cheeks. She has a dark smudge—of maybe ink?—on the tip of her nose. Her lips part, and I can’t look away, dying to kiss them, aware my jogging pants are growing tighter by the second.
“I do need to go back to my apartment,” she says, and I force my mind out of the gutter.
“Thinking of moving back in?”
“No, I… No, I’m not going back. I can’t stay in a place that Sean has access to. I just need to grab my things. I have my papers, my laptop, my books, my clothes …” She glances down at herself and makes a face.
“I love how you look now,” I say truthfully.
She pulls a loose strand of hair into her mouth and chews on it. It’s oddly charming. And madly sexy. “No, I’m a mess. I’m not even wearing lipstick. The printer broke down, and I had to change the cartridges. My hands were black. Took ten washes to get the ink off them.”
Well, that explains the ink smudge. “You look fine.”
“No make-up, my hair hanging like this… My parents would go into hysterics if they saw me.”
“Well, I’m not your parents.”
“Yeah. I noticed that.” A snort escapes her. “But I look terrible.”
“God, you have no idea…” I lick my lips, and allow myself to stare openly. “You’re so beautiful like that.”
“Like this? All dirty and disheveled?”
“Yeah, like this. With your hair down and no make-up, so I can see the color of your lips and the shape of your eyes. There’s nothing to distract me, no glitter and no fancy brands. I can see you.”
She ducks her head, but she looks pleased. A bit disbelieving, but glad.
The most beautiful girl in the world, and she can’t seem to realize just how pretty she is. That she’d be pretty in a trash bag or in my old ratty T-shirts or… or completely naked.
“So…” She shifts gear and steals a sideways glance at me. “You went looking for me? In case Sean decided to show up?”
“Yeah. Of course I did.”
Her blue eyes darken. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”
I shrug. “Left early. What the hell was I supposed to do, let the bastard get his hands on you?”
“I just…” Her mouth twists into a crooked smile. “Didn’t think you cared.”
I frown at her. “Tess… I do care for you. Dammit.”
She looks straight ahead, at the road, as if focused on driving, but her mouth trembles.
“Tess…” I suck in a deep, bracing breath. “I know I fucked up, but at least believe this much.”
She shakes her head and leans back in her chair, pulling on the handbrake. I look outside. We’re home, but I make no move to get out of the jeep. There’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask—ever since that fateful gala night when she fell into my arms and then stood between me and her ex as if she’d take a bullet for me.
As if she expected a bullet from him.
“This Sean Anholt…” Her gaze shoots sideways at me, her eyes wide. “What did that motherfucker do to you?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Look, I know I don’t deserve your trust. Not yet. But I swear to God, Tess, I’m gonna find him and hang him from his balls, whether you tell me how he hurt you or not, because he did. You can’t lie to me.”
She clenches her slender hands on the leather-bound wheel and worries her lower lip with her teeth. That’s always a distracting sight, but I’m both too worked up and too exhausted to do anything about it.
Besides, she’d probably curse at me and leave, never to return.
“He did hurt me,” she finally admits, not looking at me. “Forced himself on me. But that was years ago.”
I smash my fist into the dashboard, and she yelps. “I’ll fucking kill him.” Rage colors my vision red, makes my pulse pound in my head. Makes the world spin.
“No, Dylan.” She reaches for me, and her hand hovers an inch from my face, never touching. “Don’t.”
I lower my fist, breathing hard, and force myself to stillness. “I’ll make him pay.”
“No,” she says again, her fingertips trailing over my jaw. “You won’t. You can’t. His family owns half of Chicago. You’ll only get yourself behind bars, and your brothers will be left with nobody to look after them.”
Dammit. Fucking hell. My jaw aches from grinding so hard. “I can’t promise you I won’t.”
“No. I told you. This is my life, my past, and my decisions. You don’t get to do this because you’re angry, not when I tell you I don’t want you to. I want to forget the past, not make its consequences worse.” Her hand drops to my shoulder. “I’m asking you to not approach Sean Anholt for any reason, okay?”
Unable to reply to this in any acceptable manner, I open the door of the jeep and jump out. The world is spinning faster now, and as I turn to close the door, it tilts and starts going b
lack. I grip the car door to keep my knees from buckling and blink furiously, waiting for my eyes to clear. I feel as if I can’t get enough air in my lungs, and my harsh breathing echoes in my ears.
Slowly my eyes clear, and I make out the street lamps, the house with its yard of overgrown weeds—and Tessa’s worried face.
She steps closer, wrapping an arm around my back. “You really are wiped out, aren’t you? Dylan?” She waits until my acknowledging nod, before she says, “Let’s get you inside.”
I say nothing, letting her drag me down the path to the front door. Then I dig in my heels, and my pulse starts pounding again.
A piece of paper is stuck on the door, fluttering in the wind.
It reads, ‘Judgment Day is coming.’
Chapter Thirteen
Dylan
“So you’re saying your dad put that piece of paper on your door?” Tessa is asking. “What for?”
“Believe me,” I say, “I have no fucking clue.”
Tessa’s arm is around my back as she tugs me into the house. I put mine around her slender back, too, and pull her to me. She’s warm, pressed to my side, and I try not to lean on her too much. I don’t want her to see how dizzy I still am. Don’t want to think about it, either.
She’s here. That’s all that matters. I thought I’d never get to hold her in my arms again.
Second chances.
Dakota comes out of the kitchen to meet us, wiping her hands on a towel. “Tessa! We were so worried. Dylan, you said you’d call me if you found her.”
“Shit. I forgot.” A full body shiver goes through me. “Is the heater off? It’s fucking cold in here.”
“Heater’s on. If you ask me, it’s hot like the pits of hell in here.” Dakota’s eyes narrow on Tessa. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Sorry I got you worried. I was at work, running late, that’s all.”
Dakota nods. “I was about to leave. Need a lift?”
“Nah, I’m fine,” Tessa says, leaning into my side. “I have my car.”
Another shiver goes through me. I clench my teeth to keep them from chattering.
“Dylan, you okay?” Dakota shifts from foot to foot. In her short dress and with her wild dark hair, she looks a bit like a dark version of Tinkerbell.
“I’ll be fine,” I mutter.
A beat goes by in absolute silence.
Dakota shakes her head, gives a faint smile, then gathers her stuff and leaves us alone.
Tessa and I don’t move. We’re standing in the middle of the room, arms around each other. The feel of her pressed against me is so distracting that finding something to say is a struggle.
A huge shiver goes through me, rattling my joints.
“You’re so cold,” she mutters. “Maybe a hot shower will warm you up. That’s the only thing that helps when I’m cold.”
I nod, strangely reluctant to move.
“So,” I say, “you’re seriously moving out of your apartment? No more going back to your castle?”
She lifts her head. Emotions flicker in her wide eyes. “I’ve given up my castle, and my servants and my unicorns,” she mutters. “I swear.”
“Fuck, Tess.” My pulse beats erratically in my ears. So much I could read in those words, and my resolve is fraying faster than ever. “You shouldn’t be here.”
She pulls away slightly, her mouth twisting. “Don’t worry. I’ll go.”
“Dammit, Tessa, that’s not what I meant.” I scrub a hand over my face. “It’s just that… I can’t control myself when you’re with me, I can’t… Can’t keep away. I want you to stay. I want it too much.”
Her blue eyes darken, and this need for her, this urge to kiss her and fill her, grows with every passing second.
“If you don’t love me,” she whispers, “then what are you afraid of?”
But I do love her, and I am afraid. I stare at her.
She’s the one you want. The one you can’t live without, and you’re letting her slip through your fingers again.
“Tess…” I lift a hand to caress her face. “You asked what I’m afraid of. Here’s the thing: I see you in every woman I cross paths with, in everything I do. I wake up thinking of you. I go to fucking sleep thinking of you.”
She leans into my touch with a sigh. “You do?”
“Yeah. I work and walk and talk, and all I can think of is you.”
“Dangerous,” she whispers. “Didn’t know I was so distracting.”
“You are.” I stroke soft hair off her face to better see her eyes. “God, you are. Fact is, I can’t stop wondering where you are, what you’re doing all the time.”
Can’t. Can’t stop wanting her, can’t stop pouring out my heart to her, letting her know what I want. What I fear. Who I desire most: the one who can break me with one word, one look. It’s one and the same.
Her.
***
My brothers are playing in their bedroom. I can hear their laughter as we pass outside. Tessa is quiet as she tugs me toward the bathroom.
I let her guide me. I feel drained—like telling her what I fear was a purge, an act of bloodletting.
She releases me when we enter the small bathroom, and I fight a shiver. I feel cold to the marrow of my bones. Maybe I’m coming down with something. The thought has crossed my mind a couple of times. But the weakness comes and goes, and besides, no time for me to be sick.
I lean on the wall to catch my breath.
“Dyl…” Her eyes gleam with worry. “I’ve never seen you so bad.”
“I just need to rest,” I say. “Catch up on some sleep.”
“How long has it been like this?”
“Not long,” I mutter.
“Any idea what it can be? How do you feel?
“My joints ache. I feel like I haven’t slept in fucking weeks.” I glance at her and regret putting that fear in her eyes. “Look… If after the weekend I still don’t feel well, I’ll go see a doctor. Believe me, it’s no fun.”
She nods, tugs her lower lip between her teeth, and I can’t tear my gaze away.
“My mom called me,” she says, folding her arms under her breasts, and fuck, I can’t look away from their roundness. “She’s filing for a divorce.”
Now my gaze snaps up to her face. Her pretty mouth is downturned at the corners. “I’m sorry, Tess.”
“I was, too, at first. Now I think that’s the best that could happen. She isn’t happy with him. Who would be?”
I walk over to her and pull her into a hug. “So sorry. I know it’s tough, realizing a parent doesn’t care. I often wished Mom would return, even though I know she doesn’t give a damn about us.”
She squeezes me back so tightly it’s as if she doesn’t want to let go. We stand like this for a bit, and I inhale her cinnamon scent, feel her curves. It makes me hard again, but I ignore my body. I’m not moving until she’s ready.
Finally, she sighs and steps back. “You know what? I’m somehow glad all this mess happened—with Sean, with my dad.”
I frown. “How so?”
“It helped snap me out it. I wasted too much time waiting.”
I swallow hard. Does this mean she’s also given up on me? She hasn’t commented at all on everything I told her tonight—about my fears, about my thoughts. About the fact I can’t get her out of my mind.
The cold is seeping into my bones, and I step away. “I’ll just jump into the shower, okay? We can talk later, if you like.”
She seems lost in thought, so I turn around and start unbuttoning my jeans. I hear the door click. Assuming she’s left the bathroom, I let my pants pool at my feet, push down my briefs and step out of them. I take off my socks, then grab the hem of my T-shirt and pull it off.
When I turn back around, though, I start, because she’s still there. Her gaze is on me, her pupils dilating as she watches me. I lift a brow, trying to gauge what she’s thinking.
“Like what you see?” I ask quietly.
She laughs, a nervous s
ound, and her cheeks flush red. I can see her nipples hardening through her sweater. Her gaze rakes over my chest, slowly moving down, past my navel to my crotch and my aching erection.
Fuck. I may feel like crap, but I can’t help the way my body responds to her. I’m like oxygen to her flame: she ignites me. I need her so badly I’m scared of myself.
So I tear my gaze away, pull back the shower curtain, and turn on the hot water.
I hear a rustle, and I look back to see her tug her sweater over her head. Holy fuck. I lick my dry lips at the sight of her breasts, trapped in a black bra. Then she pushes down her pants and toes everything off, remaining in tiny black panties.
It’s just a black triangle in the front, strings at the sides. Her pale hourglass figure seems to glow in the dimness.
“Come here,” I say, my voice hoarse. “Now.”
She steps closer, her bare feet whispering on the tiles, her hips swaying in a hypnotizing rhythm. Tugging on her hair tie, she frees her blond mane, and it tumbles over her shoulders. Her blue eyes glimmer like a cat’s in the low light as she steps into the shower with me.
“I want to unwrap you,” I whisper, reaching behind her and finding the clasp of her bra. I press her to me, so I can feel the moment her breasts spill out of the fabric. I growl when it happens, her nipples rubbing on my chest. “Goddamn beautiful.”
I throw the bra out of the shower stall and run my hands over her amazing breasts, over their fullness, their softness, their hard points. I torture her nipples with my hands, then bend to take them in my mouth, one by one, loving the moans rising deep in her throat.
Can’t hold back much longer. While I suck on her tits, I slide my hands lower, to her tiny panties, and push them down her legs, so I can touch her where I want.
“Oh my God,” she whispers, looping her arms around my neck, as I rub my thumb over her seam, as I find her clit and circle it slowly. “Holy shit.”
I look up and grin at her dazed expression, then go down on my knees. “Beautiful,” I repeat as I spread her wide and press my mouth to her, replacing my finger with my tongue. I circle her clit, torture it, then lick deep inside her, and she lets out a breathless cry.
Goddammit, I’m about to explode. My balls ache. My cock is twitching and weeping. I pull back and reach down, grab my dick and grit my teeth to keep from coming.
