by Kay Lyons
He kissed her shoulder. “Don’t. I can practically hear your mind churning, but it isn’t going to work. You can’t pretend that didn’t happen.”
“It shouldn’t have happened.”
He kissed the same spot again, his five-o’clock shadow rasping over her skin and drawing a shiver she couldn’t suppress.
“Do you have any idea how sexy you are? How sexy it is when I kiss you and you—”
“Shut up!” Melissa elbowed him hard in the ribs and her jab earned her blessed release. She scrambled away from him. Thankfully, Bryan stayed where he was, an amused expression on his too-gorgeous face. “What? Is Bang ’em Booker so desperate he’s resorted to banging a—”
“You say one word to put yourself down and I’ll show you desperate.”
Meaning what? Given the look on his face, she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out what retribution would entail, but at the same time, her pulse jumped at the thought.
“I’m not that man anymore, Melissa. I haven’t been for quite a while now.”
“So you’re saying your reputation is all fictitious?” She snorted. “Don’t lie about it, Bryan. If a female had your reputation she’d be called all sorts of nasty names.”
“It’s not all a lie,” he admitted. “I took advantage of some of the offers made because I could. Because I felt the need to… connect. I’d lost someone I cared about, that I’d fought to help save but couldn’t, and it hit me hard. I could control the other, the sex. But once I realized there was nothing more unsatisfying than meaningless sex, I stopped taking advantage but by then the damage was done and the rumors grew.”
“Oh, poor baby,” she drawled. “That doesn’t explain why you— Why didn’t you leave me alone?” Melissa clenched her hands into fists, the urge to hit something strong. “You had no right to kiss me! To touch me!”
To make me want you!
“You enjoyed it. Deny it and I’ll show you differently.” Bryan shoved himself off the rock and stalked toward her. “I want you, and you need to know that. I want to prove to you what an incredibly sexy, desirable woman you are and— Melissa, we’re not finished with this. Stop!”
She swung around, her mad dash to escape temporarily halted. “Why? Why are you doing this? Because I said no? Surely it’s not a complete first, even for you.” Her chin raised and she played her last ace, desperate enough, scared enough, to want him to feel the same way. “But what would happen if I took my shirt off? What would you do then? Huh? I’ll tell you what. The desire you think you feel would fizzle fast. You’d look away in horror and be sick with disgust because I…I…”
“You didn’t have reconstructive surgery.”
Shock rippled through her. “How do you know that? You asked someone that about me?”
“Hear me, Melissa.” He moved closer slowly, one step at a time. “I knew that when I kissed you. I knew it when I listed all the things I think are beautiful about you. Had you not pulled away, no, I probably wouldn’t have stopped.”
She swallowed tightly, the lump in her throat too big. Maybe he wanted her, maybe he even thought he could handle her body, but what then? She couldn’t handle Bryan. His looks. The women. She’d had two boyfriends in her whole life because she didn’t date unless she really liked a guy.
She couldn’t be with Bryan and not— “I’ll help you with the fund-raiser,” she whispered, her voice taut, hoarse. “And I’ll keep working for you. But if you ever t-touch me like that again, I’ll—”
“Run away? It’s what you’re doing with every step backward you take. You want to know if I have the guts to make love to you?” he asked, following her, drawing ever closer. Too close. “Come here and I’ll show you. Let me prove to you there’s no reason for you to be afraid, not with me.”
His words had her curiosity aroused again, wondering. Could he? “Your ego is astounding.”
“It’s not ego that makes me want you.”
“I refuse to be another Bang ’em Booker conquest!”
“Then be more.”
More?
Fear tore at her, unquenchable hope. Why would he say something like that? He couldn’t mean it. It was a ploy, a line guys like him used to get women into their beds. Her evil conscience snickered in her head. Other women, maybe, but her?
Havoc-wreaking doubts made her shake, but it was the need and the look in Bryan’s eyes that shot pure terror through her. She wanted him, too. Liked him. Had grown close to him working side by side, running with him. Laughing with him. But she couldn’t. Of all the people she couldn’t stand to have leave her when he couldn’t follow through on his words, it would be Bryan.
Beautiful, perfect Bryan.
Without a word, Melissa turned on her heel and ran back to the path. She continued running out of the park, all the way back to the house.
Away from him, away from temptation. Away from everything. Especially the mocking voice in her head that said she was the coward her father accused her of being.
* * *
I’M GLAD YOU’RE HOME.” Hal stared at his daughter’s tear-pinched features and figured Booker had made a move on her. One she apparently hadn’t been receptive to. Problem was, he didn’t know if he should be glad or sad that she’d turned the doc down.
Now there was a dilemma for a father to be in.
After her mother’s surgery it had taken a while to convince his wife he loved more than her breasts. But they’d fallen back on their years spent together, the child they shared. Experiences Mel didn’t have and couldn’t believe a man would want with her now.
“I’m going to work here tonight,” she murmured huskily.
“Booker got a woman at his place?”
“No, he—no.” Mel added a tea bag to the mug on the counter and drummed her fingers impatiently at the kettle heating on the stove. “Bryan, um, mentioned Ellen has been sick?”
He pulled out a chair and sat down at the table, hoping she’d do the same. They’d avoided each other long enough. They needed to talk, get things sorted out. “Morning sickness, a really bad case of it. Her doc gave her something to help today and she says she’s already feeling better, but she’s still weak and pale. She took a few days off work.” He rested his arms on the table and clasped his hands, hating that he seemed to want the impossible. “Mel…I’m leaving tonight.” He looked up in time to see her lose what little color she had in her cheeks and shoved himself to his feet in case he needed to catch her. “Sit down. Please?”
The kettle began to whistle. It took her a second to move, but she poured the steaming water into the cup and then crossed the room. He had a feeling her slow, deliberate steps were to buy time, adjust to what he’d said. He couldn’t blame her. It would take him some time to adjust to all the changes taking place, as well.
“Why are you leaving tonight? I mean, you’re not getting married until Saturday. Won’t it look badly if the chief and his girlfriend are living together?”
“I think it would look worse if people thought I didn’t care enough about my future wife and child that I let them stay alone knowing she’s having such a hard time.”
“You said she was feeling better.”
“She isn’t throwing up every few minutes, but she’s still dizzy. What if she falls down the stairs? I found her lying on the bathroom floor last night, too sick to even call for help. You know what that’s like. Could you leave her there?” He sat down when she did, taking in her bleak expression and hardening his heart out of sheer will. Mel was okay. Of the two women in his life, his daughter didn’t need him as much as Ellen did right now.
“I’m…I’m going to miss you.” She didn’t look up from her mug, but her lower lip trembled the way it had when she was little.
That trembling lip had ripped his heart out more than once. “Mel, this isn’t— Sweetheart, I love you. I’ll always love you and I only want what’s best for you. You know that, right?” A weak nod was his answer. “So listen to me. If you ever need any help with the
bills or projects around here, ever need to talk or just want some company, you are to call me. Come see me. Understand?” She didn’t respond. “Melissa Ann, you will always be my little girl. Always be the best example of the love I held for your mother.”
“But that’s over now.”
“My love for her will never be over, but I can love more than one person, Mel. Just like I can love more than one child. I love you, and the baby Ellen carries.”
Her nose turned red at the tip and a tear trickled down her cheek. “I just wish…”
“What?”
She sniffled, shaking her head mutely. Her hand trembled visibly when she lifted it to wipe away the tears, and a raw laugh escaped her chest.
“Wishes can come true, Mel. So can dreams. It’s all in what you believe, all in your faith.”
“Maybe.”
“No, not maybe. God’s proved that to both of us by healing you.”
She blinked once and sniffled. “Then why not heal Mom?”
Hal hesitated a long moment. How many times had he asked himself that question. “Maybe God thought the choir needed a new soprano. Your mama did love to sing.”
She tried to smile and the effort was painful to watch. A sad attempt at pride he recognized too well.
“I’ve never thought of it that way….” She shoved herself up from the table. “I’ll help you p-pack.”
“It’s done.”
“Oh.” She sat down in the chair again. “Oh, well…okay.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “Mel, about Saturday. Please come. I can’t imagine getting married without my daughter there. And I know it’s unusual, and probably not something you want to do under the circumstances, but instead of a best man, I’d like you to be my witness, to stand up with me and…show your support.”
“I can’t do that.” She pressed her fingers to her mouth as though to hold back a sob and inhaled deeply. “I couldn’t do that to M-Mom.”
“What about what you’re doing to me?” Hal sat there a long moment. “Never mind,” he murmured finally. “You and your mother were very close, and after everything you’ve been through with your cancer, you feel even closer. I understand that. But would you have wanted her to deny love?”
He got to his feet and scooted the chair back into position beneath the table, closing the distance between them. He leaned over and kissed her head, rubbing her shoulder gently. “Mel, this isn’t goodbye. It’s a new beginning. And whether you realize it or not, Ellen, the baby and I want you along for the ride.”
Melissa didn’t respond. Couldn’t with the lump clogging her throat.
“I love you, sweetheart.” Silent, her father walked out of the kitchen, the door swinging back and forth behind him the way it always had.
Only this time it was different. The problem with beginnings was that there was an ending preceding them. She heard the front door shut, her dad’s cruiser start, its powerful engine roar as it pulled away. The house was silent; she was alone. And she didn’t want to be.
“Oh, Mom…” The sobs she’d held back tore out of her chest. She wanted to feel again and hated Bryan because he made her feel too much. Made her want more than was possible. “God, please…”
She wrapped her arms around her stomach, hugging herself tight because there wasn’t anyone else there to do it.
* * *
BRYAN GLARED down at the file in front of him, unseeing.
“What’s got your shorts in a knot?” Janice entered his office and dropped two files on his desk. “Mrs. Case is here. She just peed on a stick and it’s positive. Want me to go over the basics and refer her to Dr. Amos?”
“Sure…thanks, Janice.”
“Uh-huh. Now tell me what a foot doctor is going to do to help a pregnant woman?”
Pulled from his brooding, he blinked. “Huh?”
“You just told me to send a pregnant woman to a foot doctor.”
He sat forward in his chair and rubbed his hands over his face roughly. “Sorry. I didn’t sleep much last night and it’s catching up with me.”
Janice helped herself to one of the seats across from his desk. “Looks like Melissa is having the same problem today.” She glared at him. “You mess up the best office help in here since your grandfather retired, and I’ll kick your butt from here to his house so he can ream you out himself.” She wagged a finger at him. “Are you messin’ with that sweet girl?”
“No.” He glared right back. “Melissa has made it perfectly clear she wants nothing to do with me.”
“So you tried? What am I asking? Of course you did.” Janice’s disgust changed to a snicker. “Well, now ain’t that a first. Don’t think I’ve ever heard a single story about a woman turning you down. We need to mark this on the calendar. Where’s a pen?”
“Did you need something?” His tone must have been a good indication of his mood because Janice got to her feet and ambled over to the door.
“You know, maybe I do have one more thing to say.”
He bit back a groan. “What?”
“Heard a little while ago that Hal York moved in next door. Saw him carrying a box myself. Must be hard for Melissa to be alone all of a sudden after twenty-some years in that house there together.”
“And your point is?”
“Melissa’s not happy about her daddy surprising her with his marriage. Told me she wasn’t going to the wedding. I think a date by her side would change her mind. Boost her confidence.”
He leaned back in the chair and rubbed the bristle he’d forgotten to shave from his jaw. “Didn’t you just tell me to leave her alone?”
“Yes, and I never indicated you should be her date. You got any friends?”
“Janice.”
“I suppose you could escort her to her daddy’s wedding and then leave her alone. If anything would set her daddy on end, it would be seeing you beside his little girl.”
Ah, now the truth came out. “And you want the chief set on end because…?”
Janice lifted her chin with a sniff. “The chief of police is gettin’ married, has attended our church for years and he doesn’t ask my Roger to officiate the ceremony? That’s not nice.”
He grinned, pretty sure the chief hadn’t asked because of Ellen’s delicate circumstances. “I’d say Hal’s been friends with the judge a long time, too. Maybe he asked because of that?”
The older woman crossed her arms over her ample chest. “I’m just saying he should’ve asked Roger to officiate or else given him a reason why not. And if I were you, I wouldn’t be making fun and teasing me when your ego looks to have taken a blow. You haven’t said two words to Melissa all day.”
“I haven’t exactly heard her saying two words to me.”
She shook her head at him. “But you’re a man, and everyone knows men are typically at fault.”
Bryan shook his head and waited until the R.N. left his office before he gave in and laughed. Maybe Janice had a point. Melissa might bluster up to the last second about not attending, but she’d go to the wedding. No way would she miss it. It wasn’t in her to hurt her father that way.
But like Janice said, it didn’t mean Melissa wouldn’t want to ruffle her father’s feathers. After all, who wanted to attend a wedding alone?
* * *
THE REST OF THE WEEK crawled by at a snail’s pace, and September arrived with blessedly cooler temps.
Melissa went about her business and endured Bryan’s questioning stares as best she could, attempting to do the same with the women parading through the office, but not succeeding. Bryan was a good doctor, but she and Janice both rolled their eyes at the number of women entering the reception area for their appointments dressed in skimpy outfits, full makeup and healthy smiles—all to gain Bryan’s handsome, doctorly attention.
Attention she didn’t want. So why was she sick every time one of those women came in? And why did she come up with excuses to walk by the exam rooms and make sure Janice was present and accounted for?
Five o’clock rolled around, the last of Bryan’s fan club was gone, and she couldn’t wait to go home even though she had nothing to go home to. Maybe she should check into getting a pet?
“Can you stay tonight? We need to finalize things for the kickoff next week.”
Melissa kept her back to Bryan and scrunched her face up in a grimace. “I, um, can’t. Stay here, that is. I have to… I’ll work on it at home.”
“Melissa—” Bryan stepped into the small area on her side of the counter, his large frame taking up all the extra space. “Stay. I won’t kiss you unless you want me to.”
Want him to? “That won’t happen.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about, do you?”
* * *
YOU LOOK LIKE a woman with a secret,” Ashley murmured in her ear when Melissa bent close to kiss Issy’s head. “Give it up.”
“Sorry, no secret.”
“Then why the red face?” her friend pressed.
“It’s anxiety over…today.”
“Hmm. About the wedding or what your dad’s going to say when he stops hovering over Ellen long enough to realize Bryan is your date?”
“It’s not a date. We were both coming to the wedding and since we left the office at the same time, we decided to ride together.”
“Is that what they’re calling it these days? Then just why did I have to loan you a dress?”
Despite her willing it away, heat suffused her face. How on earth could she have fallen asleep in Bryan’s arms? She didn’t even remember him sitting on the couch beside her! “I, um, didn’t have time to shop.” She glanced at Ashley and quickly away. “Besides, I’ve always wanted an excuse to borrow this dress.”
“It’s two sizes too big for you.”
“But she still looks gorgeous in it, doesn’t she, Joe?” Bryan moved to her side and smiled down at her, the grin predatory.
Melissa looked away, flushing, her body’s instant response making her want to groan. “I think I’m going to go see—”
