by J. R. Tate
“Sounds like fun, but I can’t. Casey is supposed to call tonight.” All of the guys in the company knew about the recent past and everything that had transpired between he, Casey, and Viper. No one ever went into deep detail about it, and it was only talked about if Michael brought it up, which was very rare.
“So come out afterward. You gonna be on the phone all evening?”
Shrugging, Michael finished off the water and tossed the bottle into the trash. “I haven’t seen much of Eva either. We might just hang out and take it easy. I don’t know yet. I’ll give you a call if we decide to come out.”
“I haven’t known you very long, but you act like an old married man, Mikey.”
“Don’t ya know, Walsh, he practically is,” Collins added to the conversation.
“You two can bite me,” Michael replied as he picked at the salad that was already set out on the table. They were right, but he would never admit it out loud. He and Eva had definitely grown a lot closer after everything, and her moving in was just one more step farther into the progression of their relationship. Michael couldn’t have been happier.
***
Michael was thankful for the phone calls from Casey, but it drove him insane as he waited on them. Casey always said he would call at a certain time, and for the most part, was never on time with them. Michael expected it and still grew worried as he sat by the phone and waited. He was acting as if he were a teenager waiting for his first love to call back.
He was nervous about the phone calls because of his trust level with Casey. He was pessimistic about it, and Casey not following through on his word was an early indication that he would possibly relapse. He had always called the day he had said, so it had gone good so far. He hated doubting his little brother, but with all of the times he had been burned in the past, it was expected.
He also enjoyed getting the phone calls. With each call that came through, Casey sounded even more clear and coherent than the time before. There was always so much more energy in his voice and he seemed more determined now than Michael could remember. This was the first time he had actually left New York to take on recovery. Maybe getting away from the usual would be beneficial. Either way, it made Michael on edge that he was so far away.
“Staring at the phone like that isn’t going to make him call any sooner,” Eva replied as she sat next to him at the dining room table, her smooth palm brushing his forearm.
“I know. I can’t help it.”
“He always calls, Mikey.”
Sighing, he spun the phone around on the surface of the table and leaned back in his chair, looking up at Eva. “I know he does. You know I feel bad about the fact that I’m doubting him, right?”
She reached out and grabbed his hand, intertwining her fingers with his. Her skin was smooth compared to his rough and calloused palms. “I know you feel bad, but I can’t look down on you for it either. I mean, anyone who even knew a small bit about the past you two have had would understand. You almost died because of his addictions. I definitely understand your point of view on this.”
“This time does feel different, but I’m not letting my guard down. I think I get so anxious for his call because I fear that one of these days, he either won’t call at all or he’ll call with bad news of a relapse.” He noticed the look on Eva’s face. “I know, I know, be positive. I’m getting better. You have to admit that I am.”
“Yes, you are.” She leaned in and pecked him on the lips.
The phone finally began to ring and Michael quickly answered it, his pulse racing. “Hey Casey, about time.” He hoped Casey would realize he was joking with him.
“Hey sorry, I got caught up in a group meeting. One of the guys was having a hard time. He relapsed a few days ago.”
Michael ducked his head. He hated that word. “Sorry to hear that.”
“It’s all good. He’ll be okay. At least he came back to get help.” Casey paused. “How’s life up in New York?”
“Same shit, different day. How’s Texas? How’s everything been going?” With the way Michael was firing out the questions, it was obvious that he was anxious, but he didn’t care. He wanted to learn as much new stuff as he could before Casey had to get off of the phone.
“Hot as hell. They are in a major drought right now. Lot’s of wildfires and things. It’s really beautiful down here, so it’s sad to see it the way it is.”
Michael stood up and started pacing back and forth from the living room and back into the kitchen. Eva looked amused as she watched, but Michael did his best to ignore her smirks. “Lot’s of wildfires, huh? That’s a shame. How’s all of your rehab stuff going?”
“Same thing here, too. Meeting a lot of cool people. Speaking of, they are having this family week coming up that I want you, Mom, and Eva to come to if you guys can. It’s the week of September fifth through the ninth. They didn’t want us having much contact with everyone, including our families until we proved that we were strong enough to push through the first few weeks okay. They told me today that I qualified.”
Michael chewed on the inside of his cheek. He would want nothing more than to go down there and check it all out. “I’ll have to do some checking, Case. I’ve only been back to work for a couple of months after being hurt and stuff. Gonna have to feel it out and see how they react first.” He had missed a couple of weeks from being in the hospital and recovering from the smoke inhalation and injuries he sustained from Viper. Getting more time off would probably be impossible, but it was worth a shot.
“Okay, whatever you can do would be great. That’s why I went ahead and gave you some notice with it.”
Michael nodded and looked down at his feet. “Otherwise, is everything going okay? You’re doing alright?”
“Yeah man, I’m doing great. I’ve never thought clearer or felt so energetic. Everything is good, Mikey. I promise. Don’t worry. Almost losing you was the final straw. I’m not going back to that life. I swear it.”
He closed his eyes and let his little brother’s words sink in. “I’ve got faith in you, brother. This is the chance of a lifetime.” He almost had to repeat it just to convince himself. It was the strangest feeling, having faith in him, but at the same time experiencing the doubt. He was so torn, but with each day that went by, it was Casey proving him wrong. This was something he wouldn’t mind being wrong about.
“Thanks, that means the world coming from you. I gotta hang up now. I’ll call you in a few days, okay?” Casey replied.
“Okay Case, take it easy and I’ll talk to you in a few days.” He paused and the silence on the other end made him wonder if Casey had already hung up. “I love you.”
“Love you too.”
He set the phone back at the table and flashed Eva a smile. “He sounded good. Even better than last time, and that was just a few days ago. I wanna see him. Maybe he’s put some meat on his bones.”
“Yeah, hopefully. He was starting to make skeletons look skinny. I miss him a lot.”
Michael thought about the relationship that Eva had built with Casey. They had gotten close and Eva claimed a lot of the bonding happened when Michael was in the hospital. “They are doing a family week in September. He wants us to come down.”
Eva sat up in her chair. “Really? That would be amazing! I think it’d put you at ease some, too. Part of your problem is that what he is experiencing is unknown to you and you don’t like it.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll feel Captain out and see how he might react to more time off. The last thing I want to do is piss him off.”
Chapter Two
“Call in sick, Eva. You’re just so warm, I don’t want you to get out of the bed.” Michael snuggled up against her back and wrapped his arms around her waist. He buried his face in her neck and ran his lips up and down her skin. She leaned in to his embrace, and though he couldn’t see her face, he could tell she was smiling. “You call in sick and I’ll promise you a day full of snuggling and being lazy.” He pulled some of h
er hair off of her cheek and propped himself up on his elbow, getting full view of her expression. Her eyes were still closed, but she was definitely awake.
“There would be nothing better to do than call in, but the bills are piling up.” She reached over and hit the snooze on the alarm and buried her head back in the pillow.
“So take a personal day.” He nuzzled her neck again, making her laugh.
“I don’t have any left. I used them all up when you were in the hospital.” She sat up and turned the alarm off. “To hell with the snooze button. It just makes things worse.” Eva brushed the palm of her hand down his face, and just from that, he could tell he was in desperate need of a shave. “You’re seriously wanting me to call in?”
Michael scoffed. “No, I’m joking. Captain Rooker would have a shit fit and we want to keep him on our good side so we can go down to Austin.” He allowed his body to fall back into the mattress. He studied Eva as she got out of bed. Her satin nightgown clung to her figure perfectly. Even first thing in the morning, with no makeup and her hair a mess, he found her gorgeous.
“What are your plans for today, Mikey?” She asked as she gathered up her clothes for the day.
He shrugged and pulled the blankets around him, still watching her every move. “I plan on staying right here and sleeping the day away.”
Eva giggled. “Yeah, sure you will. You know you’ll be up as soon as I leave. I’ve never known you to be able to go back to sleep once you’re up for the day.”
“If you stayed in bed with me, we could do something to make it where I wouldn’t have any problem relaxing and getting in some more restful sleep, if you know what I’m talking about.” He winked at her.
“Yeah, I can just see it now. I call in and tell Captain Rooker I can’t come in because you’re horny. Nice try, stud.”
She didn’t allow him to respond before she closed the bathroom door and started her shower. For a split second he debated on joining her, but knew she really didn’t have time. He lay in bed a few more minutes and got up to make her a quick breakfast before she headed off.
“Oh, Mikey, you shouldn’t have.” She placed her duffel bag on one of the kitchen chairs and hugged him from behind. She smelled so fresh.
Turning around, he placed a plate of eggs and a bagel on the table, along with a mug of coffee and some orange juice. “It’s not much, but I figured since you do it for me, I would be nice and return the favor.” He sipped on some coffee and leaned against the counter, taking note to her auburn hair that was loosely pulled back, as well as her FDNY shirt that she wore as if it were designed solely for her.
Eva nervously looked up from her food. “What?”
Michael hadn’t realized he had been staring until she spoke. “Oh nothing.”
“You were staring at me like I had something on my face. Do I?” She reached for a napkin and Michael held his hand up to stop her.
“No, I was just looking at you. Wondering what I did to deserve someone like you.”
Her cheeks turned a light shade of red and she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before taking another bite of her bagel. “You’re too sweet, Mikey.” She glanced up at the clock. “I better get going. You’re the late one, not me.” She drank down the orange juice and leaned in, kissing him on the lips. “Thanks so much for the breakfast, hon. Enjoy your day off. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” He walked her to the door and shut it behind her, wondering when they would get a day off together. It had been ages. He sat down on the couch and turned the TV on. Nothing was on but morning talk shows and weather, so he instantly turned it off. He cleaned up the small mess he had made and changed into some sweats and a t-shirt.
He walked downstairs and stopped on his stoop, taking note to the humidity in the air. He loved summertime in New York. The scent of the asphalt was oily from the moisture in the air. Putting his ear buds in, he turned his iPod on to his workout playlist and nodded toward the old man who was always out on the stoop, reading the newspaper.
Traffic was already starting to pick up as everyone began their commutes to work. It was a little past seven. It seemed rush hour got earlier and earlier all the time. He began to jog down Tenth Avenue, relaxing as his lungs took in the breaths of morning air. He didn’t have a route planned out. It had been awhile since he had taken a long run and his body seemed to be craving it.
He noticed that while jogging, he didn’t have the endurance he did before the warehouse fire. His lungs felt tighter, and even though he did go through some physical rehab, there was an immense amount of differences in how his body was adapting to the physical exertion. He even noticed that in fires, his muscles and joints where he sustained injury were a lot weaker than he ever remembered.
Weaving in and out of other pedestrians who were hustling to and from wherever they were going, he was thankful for the music he had playing. It took his mind off of all of the city sounds he couldn’t get away from. The honking horns, squeaking brakes, yells from impatient people, and most of all, away from the sirens.
The humidity was thick, hindering his lungs. Sweat dripped down from his hair into his eyes. He finally came to stop at the Fourteenth Street Park, which was mostly empty. There were a few groups of people sitting on the grass, as well as a few stragglers and what appeared to be homeless people on benches. Michael walked past them, trying his best not to make eye contact. He faced toward the Hudson River, bending over to try to gain his composure.
He was disgusted at himself. He remembered a time when he could run all the way down to the Financial District and take a break at Battery Park. This park wasn’t more than two miles from his place and he felt like he had just run a marathon. He leaned against the iron fence and watched his surroundings. He hated seeing all of the homeless people, sleeping on park benches and begging for money.
Turning his attention to the playground area, he saw a woman and two young boys on the swing set. Watching, he reminisced about his childhood. His mom would usually take them to a different park. She said this one was too small and too close to major streets. He kept his distance in fear of scaring them. The boys were close in age and looked alike. For the most part, they got along and played well together, with the occasional brotherly spat over whose toy was whose. He smiled to himself. He longed to go back to when he was that age when their father was still alive and everything seemed okay. Back when he didn’t have a care or worry in the world.
Michael walked farther down the jogging path and faced toward the Hudson River again. He watched as tugboats went back and forth. It was as if someone was changing the channel in his mind and he thought about Viper and the horrible situation they were in just a few short months ago. He almost lost his life due to some bad gambling from his brother. It took him a long time to realize that viewing it that way wasn’t the best. He had convinced himself that it was for his family. If he didn’t step up the way he had, Casey would’ve easily been killed.
Flashbacks of the burning inferno he was trapped in crept into his mind. Michael would never forget what it felt like to choke in the poison air, as if he were a fish out of water, gasping uncontrollably until his lungs completely collapsed on him. It would take time to shove those memories aside. To him, it felt like it would be eternity. He hated going to see a therapist about the whole thing, but to get back to active duty with the fire department, they required him to see a psychologist once a week. He would never admit it to anyone, but talking it out with an unbiased person was quite helpful. He just felt like it was a blow to his pride and it would forever be attached to his personnel file. At least it went down as required. That would help his reputation some.
He looked down at his watch and decided to get back to his apartment. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with the day, so he slow jogged the two miles back, taking his time, still pissed that he couldn’t keep the pace like he used to. When he got home, he showered and headed to Queens to see his mom. She worked part time at a sewing shop,
so he called to make sure she’d be home before he headed over. Sometimes he liked to surprise her, but he didn’t want to ride the subway up for no reason.
The commute on the subway took about an hour. He generally tried to go during off times when the trains weren’t overly packed. He also made sure to not wear anything that had the ‘FDNY’ label on it to avoid being stared at and asked a million questions. He had learned his lesson the hard way with that. Too many tourists were infatuated with the fire department, and it was only because of nine eleven. Before that day, no one cared. It was slowly starting to get that way again.
He boarded the seven train headed toward Queens and sat in the back of a train car away from everyone. He buried his head in the New York Times and before he knew it, it was his stop. He tossed the paper in the trash and walked toward his mom’s house. Thankfully, she didn’t live a great distance from the subway station.
He paused at the fence in her front yard. Every time he visited, he calmed down. Why didn’t he visit more often? At least he and Eva were coming more than they used to.
Michael didn’t notice her on the porch until she spoke up. She was drinking iced tea and sitting on the porch swing. “Hey Michael. Were the trains packed today?”
He sat down beside her and looked up at the storm clouds forming above. “Not too bad. Looks like we might get some rain later on.”
“Too bad we can’t send it down to Texas and New Mexico. You see what they are going through down there? It’s just awful.”
Michael nodded. “Yeah, Casey mentioned something about it last night on the phone. I haven’t really been watching much news. Read about it a little on the ride over.
“Yeah, you’re a newspaper reader, just like your father was.”
“I like the freedom you have with it. If you don’t wanna read about a certain story, you can skip right on over it. With the TV, you gotta sit and suffer through all the crap.”
