She considered talking to Tara, but it was no use, really. Pa wouldn’t allow it anyway. She was setting herself up for heartache. Swift Eagle was going to Canada, and besides he thought her a child. He would never take her with him. Her heart grew heavy. Why did he have to come here? She’d been content knowing she would never be asked to marry anyone. Swift Eagle was a man of honor, and she’d have to respect his wishes.
She couldn’t seem to tear herself away from the front window. Who would show up first? Would it be Swift Eagle, Big Red, and Tara? Or would it be everyone else with the Christmas tree? What about Hannah? She expected to enjoy the party either way. Her favorite part was after decorating the tree, when they lit the candles on it and sang Christmas carols. Then Harrison would read the Christmas story from the Bible. Imagine Jesus being born in a manger!
It didn’t matter where someone came from, he could still do great things.
Luella always hung mistletoe everywhere and there was a lot of kissing going on. The adults thought it to be great fun. Perhaps it would be… if she had someone to kiss.
The sun sparkled on the snow. Winter could be horrid, but it could also be beautiful. She took a deep breath. What if she was wrong? What if they weren’t on their way? Maybe she only felt it because she wanted to. She was becoming a bundle of nerves.
She made fresh coffee and checked on Swifty. He started whining, and she looked around to see what was bothering him. Then she flew to the window. They were coming! Pa was in the lead, followed by Tara, and Swift Eagle was last, carrying what had to be Hannah.
Rhetta threw on her coat and put on her snowshoes. She opened the door and gave a cry of joy. Her steps awkward because of the snowshoes, she ran into Big Red’s arms, tears filling her eyes when he clasped her to him. He lifted her up and carried her back to the house. “It’s good to see you too, Rhetta.”
He put her down, and they moved aside, so the rest could get in. Immediately, Swift Eagle put Hannah on Rhetta’s bed near the fire. Tara hurried over and unwrapped the little one. Rhetta could feel the relief in the room when Hannah waved her hands and laughed.
“Let me check her fingers and toes for frost bite,” Tara said as she sat on the bed.
Swift Eagle removed Tara’s snowshoes while she checked her little one. When he turned, he met Rhetta’s gaze and smiled. “I knew you’d be in the house. I don’t know how I knew, but I did.” He placed Tara’s shoes by the door and took his off.
Big Red had his coat off and he hugged Rhetta again. “How’s your shoulder? I worried about you the whole time. Swift Eagle said you were healing just fine, but I needed to see for myself. You look real good, honey.”
“Where is everyone?” Swift Eagle asked.
“Tonight is Christmas Eve and they went to get a tree.” She looked him in the eye. “I too knew you were coming today. That’s why I stayed home.” Something passed between them. She felt it deep in her heart, but she did not understand what it was.
She saw Tara and Big Red exchange glances, but she couldn’t read what they were saying to one another.
Rhetta held Hannah for a while. “Maura is beside herself. She thinks this is all her fault.”
Tara nodded. “I wasn’t the nicest when I found out Hannah was missing. I’ll talk to her.”
“Maybe you could have Zander talk to her too. She went to apologize, and he really gave it to her.”
Tara nodded. “We’ll make it right. Thank you for letting me know. Poor girl she must have suffered the whole time. When do you think they’ll be back?”
“They’ve been gone long enough to pretend to look for a tree and lead them to the one they already picked. I suspect they are on their way home.”
Big Red’s lips twitched. “You knew?”
“For a very long time.” She laughed.
Big Red gave her a look of admiration, and she felt proud.
Rhetta got busy and poured them all coffee. She gave the last cup to Swift Eagle, lingering near him as he stared into her eyes. “Thank you. You always think of others first. It’s a fine quality.”
Her face heated and she just knew both Tara and Big Red were both watching her.
“If anyone is hungry, I can cook eggs and bacon and flapjacks.”
“I’m going to take Hannah home, but thank you. I’ll put a light in the window so everyone will know.” Tara wrapped Hannah up again and then put her own things on. “I’ll see you all tonight.”
Rhetta waited until they were gone. “Well, who was it?”
“Eddie Connors and Chuck Klass.”
“What?” She dropped her mouth open. “Where are they now? Might they come back?”
“Dead.” Big Red got up and poured himself more coffee.
Chapter Seven
They had finished eating at Declan and Luella’s fine house. Their’s was a two-story house with a lot of wasted space. What did people need so much room for? Swift Eagle watched as all the children including Hannah and two-year-old Alex were running around waiting to decorate the tree.
“Have you ever seen a Christmas tree before?” Rhetta asked him.
“No, but from all the excitement it must be wonderful.” He didn’t know where to look first. The older children were sorting through some of the tree decorations. The younger ones were playing some game where they touched someone and said “you’re it.” This involved much yelling and running.
The women were just about finished cleaning. Rhetta had cleared the whole table. Big Red watched her as though he was seeing her for the first time. Did he see her as a woman now? Would it make a difference? Swift Eagle’s thoughts swirled. Leaving the day after Christmas would be the best for everyone. Certainly best for him.
He watched in fascination while Rhetta gathered all the children and gave them each a job decorating the tree. She helped each child, and no matter how tiny their hands were, she made it appear they had done it themselves. They looked her with adoration in their eyes. She often praised and hugged them. She’d kiss the younger ones on the cheek. He knew she was kind and caring but this was beyond that, and it stirred his heart.
A picture of her with a child of her own flashed in front of his eyes, and it was a picture he wanted to be real. His gut clenched, and he slipped outside. The front porch had been cleared of snow. That was appreciated since he hadn’t put his snowshoes on. His feeling for Rhetta was an enduring love. It differed greatly from the feelings he had for Luella, and those were strong.
Big Red had made his ideas on the matter clear, though. So Swift Eagle would just put the present made for Rhetta on her bed and be off. There was no sense getting everyone upset. This was his pain to bear alone. He needed to get his snowshoes. Opening the door, he slid back inside and was glad everyone was watching the children. He put on his coat and picked up his snowshoes and as quietly as he could he went back to the door.
“Where are you going?” Rhetta asked from behind him.
He stiffened and hesitated before turning toward her. His stomach clenched at the sad accusing look on her face. “I was leaving.”
“Without saying goodbye?” Her voice was full of hurt.
“I thought it for the best. I didn’t want to cause anyone upset. I just thought if I slipped away it wouldn’t be noticed.” This was wrong, and irritation washed over him. He sounded cowardly, and he had never been one to act that way before.
“You don’t know how much you have to lose by leaving,” she suggested. “Well, you might not think so. I guess I’m thinking about how much I have to lose when you go, but that’s not your problem. I suppose it’s a hard thing to have two people feel the same way.”
“You have Big Red.”
“Not really. He’ll always be my pa, but his interests lay with Amy these days.” A look that might have been regret entered her eyes. “He’s waited a very long time to be happy. I suppose that’s what happens sometimes, you wait. I’ll pray for you, and God be with you on your travels to Canada.” As she moved to step back, she
glanced up and smiled.
He followed her gaze to a bit of green fixed to the ceiling overhead then met her eyes with a frown of confusion.
“Mistletoe,” she explained. “When a man and a woman stand under mistletoe they are supposed to kiss.”
That he could do. He leaned down and gave her a brief kiss. “You take care of yourself.” With that, he went on his way.
* * *
She stood there as though frozen to the spot. She had always dreamed of being kissed under the mistletoe, and it had finally happened… but it wasn’t joyful; it hurt bad. It was her first heartbreak—and her last, she vowed. No one seemed to have noticed, so she went into the kitchen, not wanting to cry in front of anyone. She knew better than to hope and long and dream, but she had done it anyway. She was a fool.
Tara entered the kitchen and took Rhetta in her arms. “I’m so sorry. I thought your obstacle was Big Red, and when it seemed like he looked at both of you differently, I thought… Well it doesn’t matter what I thought. Did he leave for good?”
“I’m afraid so. Tara, I need to get away. Can you make my excuses and tell Big Red I’ll box his ears if he leaves because of me? I can read my Bible.”
“There’s a whole roomful of people who love you if you want to come back.”
“Thank you, Tara. I just need to be alone for a bit.”
Tara gave her a sympathetic smile. “I know exactly how you feel. Go ahead, I’ll cover for you.”
Rhetta nodded and grabbed her coat and snowshoes and then went out the back way. The frigid air was welcome. Maybe it would freeze her heart, but the tears rolling down her face led her to believe she’d need a lot of time to get over him.
It was cold in her house, but she didn’t care as she stood at the front window. Maybe she was too soft hearted. Maybe he was the only man who’d come around in a long time, except for the ranch hands. Maybe it was because he seemed to accept her the way she was. Fatigue stole over her until she could hardly hold her head up. Bed would be a good thing. It wasn’t doing her any good standing in a cold house. She stepped to the hearth to put a log on, and on her bed was a new pair of moccasins lined inside with rabbit fur. She’d tried to make something so fine a few times and they certainly hadn’t come out looking so nice.
She picked them up and hugged them to her. They were almost too nice to wear. She took her blankets and made a pallet on the floor in her bedroom and sobbed until she fell asleep.
Rhetta opened her eyes to the gray of pre-dawn. Christmas morning… She moaned softly. How could she feel so awful on Christmas morning? Was she wicked for thinking about his kiss and wishing it had been more? There would be Santa’s presents at each house, and then the adults gave gifts to the children. Heath had shot a turkey and Rhetta was proud of him. She had turned him into a great hunter, well with Tara’s help.
She’d even wear her good dress. She only had two dresses. The one she had worn the evening Swift Eagle had arrived, and her good one. It was made of green crushed velvet, all edged with a smidgen of Irish lace. She had worn it every Christmas for the past few years. She had no opportunity to wear it any other time.
First, she needed to put cold water on her face. Her eyes felt puffy from all her crying. It wouldn’t do for everyone to know what a fool she was. They’d all known Swift Eagle for a long time, and if he ever returned for a visit, it would be devastating if someone spoke to him about her feelings. After wetting a cloth, she held it over her eyes. Big Red never wanted a big breakfast on Christmas since there was so much to eat at the Leary house. That would make her morning easier.
She’d stand straight and tall and hide her heartache. It wasn’t for anyone else to comment on, it was hers alone. She made coffee and toasted slices of bread. Then she fed Swifty. The pup had never left her side last night. At least he loved her. Perhaps she should change his name though.
She went back into her room, washed and dressed. Today she would leave her hair down, something she didn’t do often. It got in her way a lot, so she usually just tied it back. She glanced in the mirror on the wall and shrugged at her reflection. She looked fine. After taking her present for Big Red out of the wardrobe, she padded back into the kitchen.
“Merry Christmas my precious girl!” Big Red hugged her, and the love he had for her was easily felt.
“Merry Christmas to you too, Pa.” She stood one tip toe and kissed his cheek. “I have coffee and toasted bread and a surprise.”
His eyes twinkled. “I’ll take the surprise first!”
“You are always like a child on Christmas, so eager to open your present.”
“Can’t help it, now where is it?” He chuckled.
She handed the big burlap bag to him. He opened it and reached inside. “It feels so soft.” Holding the buckskin shirt up, he whistled. “Awe, honey, this is a beauty! You must have worked long hours on this skin. It’s the softest I’ve ever had. Thank you, my sweet.”
She smiled with joy at his true appreciation of her work.
“I have a special present for you too. I want you to know that I do realize you have become a woman. One of the biggest-hearted, most level-headed women I know. This was my mother’s, and she told me I’d know who to give it to when the time came.” He took a beautiful wooden box off the table.
She opened it and her eyes widened as she took in the soft white beads. “Are these pearls?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t you want to save them for Amy?” She touched each pearl.
“I’m giving them to you. I’ve known for a long time you’d have them, and now the time is right. They’ll look beautiful on you.”
“Can you put them on me?” She watched as he took the pearls from the silk lined box and then he placed them around her neck. She lifted her hair as he clasped the necklace closed.
Tears filled her eyes as she dabbed them. “Thank you, they are lovely.” She ran for her room.
“Where are you going?”
“I need to see them in the mirror,” she yelled back. She’d never seen anything so beautiful and for a moment her heart didn’t hurt as much. She went back into the kitchen and put on her new moccasins. It felt bittersweet to wear them, but they were meant to be worn.
When she came out, Big Red was in his room, probably changing into his new shirt.
She poured the coffee and put the toast on the table along with a jar of blueberry preserves. Turning when she heard his footsteps, she sent Big Red a wide smile. “You look very handsome.”
“I do, don’t I?” He laughed. He sat down and drank his coffee. “Those moccasins are beautiful.”
“Yes. They were left on my bed.”
He sighed. “Did he even say goodbye?”
“We kissed briefly under the mistletoe and he told me to take care. I’ll never see him again. Yet we are tied to each other somehow. Maybe the tie will lessen as he goes farther away from here. I don’t want to be the topic of conversation today. We’ll just say he needed to leave before another storm hit, though Tara knows the truth. I cried myself to sleep last night. Pa, I never knew loving someone could hurt so very much.”
“There are times it hurts so bad you don’t think you can go on, but you do. I’m here if you need to talk.” He gestured to her bed. “We’ll move that back into your bedroom later. I brought the presents over to the house last night. We’d best get going before those kids get too antsy to handle.”
He helped her on with her wrap and after they put on their snowshoes they left. The sun was bright, and all the world seemed new. She widened her lips into a smile. It was Christ’s birthday, and she’d be happy for that reason alone.
Once in the house she couldn’t help but admire the tree. Many of her snowflakes graced it along with strings of popcorn, gingerbread men, a few fragile and precious glass ornaments that were placed on the top half, and paper stars. The candles made it all the more festive. There were so many presents under the tree, it seemed like it might take forever to open them.
>
Big Red took a seat next to the tree. He always liked to be the one handing out the gifts.
Rhetta’s mouth watered at the sight of gooey cinnamon buns placed on the table for everyone to enjoy. She could also smell the turkey cooking. Luella brought out a plate of sliced fruitcake, the cake that Swift Eagle had made.
Rhetta had to glance away, and her appetite fled. Then she looked up at the mistletoe under which they had stood and shared a kiss. The place where he had told her to take care of herself. Her chest tightened, and she thought she’d faint. She couldn’t breathe.
Tara gently led her away into another room. “You look beautiful, and those pearls are lovely. They’ve been in Big Red’s family for a very long time. I wish I had some words that would ease your pain, but I don’t. Just remember we all love you.”
Rhetta swallowed back her tears. “I decided I wouldn’t cry, but…
“You’ll be just fine. I think I hear presents being given out.”
They rejoined the others, and the joy on the children’s faces took every bad feeling away. Soon they were all playing with new toys.
Declan and Heath carried in a beautiful wooden chest and placed it in front of her.
“This is your hope chest, Rhetta,” Luella explained. “The men made the chest and the women have been sewing things for you to put inside. None of us ever had one, so it’s been great fun for all of us.”
Rhetta stood and stroked the beautifully carved and polished wood and then opened it. There was so much inside, a table cloth, napkins, a few aprons, all with lovely embroidery. The quilt took her breath away and she smiled at them all. Then she saw baby clothes. It took everything inside her to not cry and run. Each stitch had been sewn with love, she recognized that.
She went to them all, one by one, and hugged and thanked them.
Candle Glow and Mistletoe: Romance on the Oregon Trail Book 5 Page 7
