‘I like them,’ Evelyn said.
‘That’s why we’re here.’
‘I hate school.’
‘I almost puked every morning I had to go,’ Allison said.
‘I just stay with Julie and her friends. But the whole thing is pretty stupid.’
‘Don’t drop out. I should have stayed in, it was a mistake to leave. All I did was get a job. I’ve never traveled or done anything else. I thought I’d do more, but I haven’t done anything.’
‘I wish we lived someplace else. A place where we could open a store or a coffee shop.’
‘I wouldn’t mind working in a library or some place like that. Where every one is quiet. I could wear nice clothes, and you wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. Just file and get new books and magazines and put them in order. It’s always cool in the summer and warm in the winter.’
‘Sounds boring to me,’ Evelyn said.
‘It wouldn’t be. People like librarians. No one ever yells there. People are just trying to check out books. Especially if you went to a nice library, a big one.’
‘I’d rather run a coffee shop,’ her sister said. ‘You can’t play music in a library, you can hardly talk to anyone. They get pissed if you do.’
‘That’s what I like about it.’
‘Well then, why did you quit school if you wanted to be a librarian?’
‘It wasn’t one thing really,’ she said and thought on it. ‘I guess just being around so many people my age was enough to make me want to quit. And then everyone was always talking about going to college or going to parties. I could hardly even walk down the halls in between classes. And I didn’t go to the assemblies ’cause I’d get so worried that they would somehow get my name and make me get up in front of everyone. I remember at this one assembly they called six random kids to come down to the front of the gym. It was a game. They blindfolded them and then they had to try and find different things around the gym. Everyone was laughing. It was supposed to be fun. One of the kids they called was sitting right next to me. Jesus, I never went to another one after that. And then there was Spanish class where they make you talk out loud. And in English I had to get up in front of everyone and recite a passage from Shakespeare. A hundred lines. On top of that I only had a couple friends. One of them moved and the other got a boyfriend. And I was always embarrassed about the way I looked. Then after all that I started algebra and the teacher made us get up in front of everyone and do problems and that was one class where I didn’t know anything. It was horrible. He would make me go over and over the mistakes I made, but I was so nervous I couldn’t listen to what he was saying. So one day I just didn’t get out of bed. Mom was staying with Gary then. She didn’t notice for a while and by the time she did I’d made up my mind.’
Chapter 28
The Little Nugget
It was the last evening of her first week at Curt Vacuum, and by then the girl was averaging thirteen appointments a night. At eight p.m. she hit ten while Penny had hit twenty a half hour earlier. The woman was drunk. She sat there drinking a beer and watching TV with headphones on. When the girl hung up the phone, she took them off.
‘Number ten?’
‘Number ten,’ Allison said.
‘You want a beer?’
She nodded.
‘There’s a six pack in the fridge.’
The girl walked to it, took a can, opened it, and sat back down at her desk.
‘You’ve done the best of any girl I’ve had in almost two years. It’s your voice, you have a nice one, in a good range. Non threatening. You have good grammar.’
‘I didn’t even graduate from high school.’
‘No kidding?’
She took a drink. ‘I want to get my GED.’
‘You should, you seem smart. Can you read?’
‘I can read,’ she said.
‘You have any learning disabilities?’
‘Not that I know of,’ she said and giggled.
‘Hon, you could probably go to college.’
‘I don’t know about that.’
‘It’s easy if you want it to be. I majored in business/tourism and look at me now,’ she said.
The girl took a pack of Pall Malls from her purse and lit one. ‘I don’t know what brand you smoke but people leave their cigarettes all the time at work. I can give you them if you want. I’m trying to quit.’
‘I get Camel Lights by the carton. But you could leave a pack or two around the office just in case.’ She took a cigarette from a pack on the desk and lit it. ‘So why did you move to Reno?’
‘I just sorta ended up here.’
‘You here on your own?’
‘I don’t have any other family here or anything like that.’
‘So why’d you come?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Not for the scenery or the beauty,’ the woman laughed.
‘A lot of reasons,’ the girl said and gave a half hearted smile.
‘Okay.’
‘You from here?’
‘God, no,’ Penny said. ‘I got married while I was in college in San Francisco. He was in hotel management, and after we graduated he got a job here at the Virginian. So we moved. I got a job at the travel agency. We bought a house.’
‘You still married?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘Not for years. This was fifteen years ago. This was when I was skinny. When I wasn’t so big.’
‘You still live in the house?’
‘You sure ask a lot of questions for someone who doesn’t like to answer them.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘I’m just giving you a hard time.’
‘I didn’t mean to be rude.’
‘You can ask me anything.’
‘I am really sorry.’
‘I told you not to be, I don’t mind. Like I said, I was just giving you a hard time. Yes, to answer your question, I still live in the same house. It’s over near Mayberry Elementary School. You know that area?’
‘No,’ she said, ‘not really.’
‘My ex-husband, he lives in Florida now. Works for a hotel down there. He follows the money, moves every couple years. I don’t mind talking about him, but it always makes me want to eat. You ever been to the Nugget?’
‘The big casino?’
‘No, not that one. The one on Virginia, just down the street. The little Nugget. They have a diner in the back that has the greatest burgers, it’s cheap, too. The home of the Awful Awful burger. If you’re not in a hurry, I’ll buy you one. I’m heading there after this.’
‘All right,’ the girl said.
‘Then let’s get rid of these,’ Penny said and pointed to her beer. She finished the can in one swallow.
‘You drink faster than me. That’s something.’
‘We all have our talents,’ Penny said and smiled.
It was warm inside the Nugget casino. It was half full of old men playing slots and sitting at the bar. The two women ordered drinks then walked to the back, into the small, nearly empty lunch counter, and sat.
‘I used to come here three times a week when I was married. I’ve always been a bit overweight, but when I got married I let it go.’
‘I love to eat,’ Allison said.
‘God, me too,’ Penny said. ‘I gained a hundred and seventy pounds when I was married. Can you imagine if you married someone and that happened? He’d get really mad at me, but he wasn’t skinny either, not at the beginning. He loved to eat Burger King or Kentucky Fried Chicken or Jim Boy’s Tacos. He could eat that stuff every day. But then I just kept gaining more and more weight. We were married for seven years, and I gained a lot each year. Then he quit eating so much. He started running, joined a gym, and quit drinking. And that made it worse for me. I started eating even more. I guess I became more and more ashamed of myself and instead of trying to stop I kept eating. And during this whole time, of course, he starts looking better. I guess I caused that in him. It’s crazy to think, but I disgusted
him to the point that he decided to take care of himself. And that made it worse for us. He wouldn’t sleep with me anymore, and he got less and less romantic, and he was a pretty romantic guy. It was subtle, it wasn’t like anything happened overnight. It happened as slow as me gaining the weight. In the beginning we were like rabbits. Then that disappeared, but you hear about it happening like that, and you think maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. I’d justify it. And then when he finally left, I thought I’d lose the weight, that it was him, and him being so critical of me that caused me to eat so much. But then after him I still couldn’t stop, and finally I just accepted myself, and that was – well, I came to that conclusion maybe a week ago,’ she said and giggled.
‘I’m sorry,’ the girl said.
‘Don’t be sorry, hon,’ she said. ‘Men are a pain in the ass. I’d rather sit at home with the TV and a few snacks than have to watch sports and do laundry all the time.’
The girl laughed. She was getting drunk. ‘Love seems nice,’ she said. ‘Like in the movies, like with Paul Newman.’
‘There aren’t many of him out there.’
‘I’ve only had two boyfriends and they both didn’t work out. So I don’t know anything.’
‘What are you, twenty-three?’
‘Yeah.’
‘You’ve got a lot of time. You’re just beginning. You just have to be careful. If you hate yourself too much you just end up with a never ending line of assholes. Believe me, since my husband left, I’ve had more than a few. But they say a lot of people are pretty happy.’
‘I guess so.’
‘I’ve been to counselors and dieticians and weight trainers on and off for years.’
The counter man came and set down their meals.
‘I hate doctors,’ Allison said. ‘I haven’t seen the dentist since I was sixteen. I used to go to Planned Parenthood, but I don’t ever go to a regular doctor for anything. I’m always afraid they’ll commit me.’
‘You really think they’d commit you?’
‘They probably could.’
‘You seem all right to me,’ Penny said and then she started eating. She didn’t talk until she was done. Then she pushed her plate away and said, ‘So enough about me. Tell me about your boyfriend.’
‘Which one?’
‘Let’s start with the first one. You said you’ve had two, right?’
‘I’ve had two.’
‘So then your first.’
‘It’s pretty boring.’
‘Your life can’t be any more boring than my life. If it was, you’d probably be dead. You’re not dead, are you?’
‘No,’ the girl said and smiled a little.
‘Then tell me.’
‘His name was Roger. He worked at a video store my sister and I went to. The store was his mother’s. She was old. I think she had him when she was in her forties, because she was really old by the time I met her. She’d had some sort of job with the city and was retired when they opened the store. I don’t think it was doing very good. They didn’t have a lot of movies or anything, but I’d go ’cause there was never anyone in it. You could just look around forever and no one would bother you. I hate crowded stores. Anyway, he worked there at night. He was eighteen. He’d graduated high school. I was seventeen. I was working by then. He was sorta cute, I guess. He was tall, skinny, but he had muscles even though he didn’t exercise or anything. He was really into computer games. The kind you play with other people. He had friends and they’d all play these games together. They’d link up their computers and have tournaments that would last all weekend. Anyway, he started giving me my movies for free, that’s how we began talking and then we started going to see movies at the theater, then I starting going over to his house. Stuff like that.’
‘Was he your first?’ Penny said.
‘Yeah, boy,’ she said, embarrassed, and looked around to see if anyone was listening. ‘He was the first if you’d call it that. He was really strange. I thought it was me at the time, but now I sorta think it was him. He didn’t like to kiss. I don’t know why but for whatever reason he didn’t. It used to make me feel really bad. I’d kissed other guys. To tell you the truth I like kissing more than anything else. But he and I would never talk about it. I never asked him why he didn’t like to, I just knew he didn’t. So we’d just take off our clothes. It wasn’t like the movies where you take them off piece by piece, and it wasn’t like we ripped them off either. We’d just be in his room and we’d take off our clothes, maybe like you would if you were changing in the morning or whatever. Not romantic or anything. His room was the entire attic of this old house. It was a cool place. He had this huge space, and there were movie posters all over the walls. Science fiction movies, action movies, animation, stuff like that. His mom and dad were so old that they didn’t know anything about what we were doing. So we’d lay there naked on the bed, and it was always dark in there when we’d do it, which was good for me ’cause I hated looking at my body and the thought of anyone else looking at it. I don’t think I could of handled it. Then he’d put on a rubber and lay on top of me, and he’d put his thing in for just a minute, maybe not even that, and then he’d come. It was so fast,’ she said and began giggling. ‘He’d let out a moan, and then he’d get up and put on a robe and go to the bathroom. He wouldn’t say anything at all. And he’d be gone forever, like a half hour, maybe a whole hour, I’m not joking either, and then finally he’d come back, and I’d ask him where he’d been and he’d say, “I took a bath.” I was usually dressed by that point, and then he’d get a pint of ice cream from his freezer and we’d watch a movie and then he’d take me home.’
‘I used to date a guy that would come in his pants,’ Penny said and lit another cigarette. ‘We’d be fooling around, and we’d start taking off our clothes, and all the sudden he’d start wigging out and by the time he stopped he’d of already come in his shorts.’
‘That happened, too,’ the girl said. ‘This one time we were laying in his room, and we were naked and I don’t know why but I was so insecure about him, about everything, and for whatever reason I kissed him, which I knew he didn’t really like, and then I kissed his neck, and then I started kissing his chest and his stomach, and suddenly he came. It went everywhere. He was really embarrassed. He laid there for a long time, just motionless, and I didn’t know what to do. I sat up on the bed and waited. “You’re really boring,” he finally said and got up and put on his robe and went down to the bathroom. I got dressed and waited, but I could hear the water going for a bath and so I left. And that was it. He never called me and I never called him again. I had to start going to a different video store.’
Chapter 29
Saturday
She woke up the next morning on the bathroom floor. Vomit was in her hair and on her face, and all over the toilet and the linoleum floor. She remembered getting margaritas at the Cal Neva with Penny after dinner, but nothing after that. How had she gotten home? Did she go to another bar? She stood up. Her head was pounding. She looked at her face in the mirror and saw the vomit clinging to her hair. She took shampoo from the shelf and washed her hair in the sink. She started the bath, got a 7UP from the fridge, turned on the TV, and got in the tub.
She sat in the water for nearly an hour, then dressed, ate some toast and walked down Virginia Street. The cool air and the walking settled her stomach. She stopped at Foster’s Deli and ate lunch and decided she’d walk to the mall and buy a pair of running shoes. Maybe every time she wanted a drink she’d just run. She’d run all the time if she had to. Every morning or night.
The mall was crowded with kids, couples, and old people. She found the shoe store and purchased the first pair of running shoes she came across.
When she got home she put on sweat pants, a sweater, and her new running shoes, and went jogging. She was out of shape, though, and pretty soon she ended up just walking through the neighborhoods, looking at people’s houses. When she got home she laid in bed and wat
ched TV until eleven o’clock, then got up, put on her uniform, and left for work.
Chapter 30
Dan Mahony
At five-thirty in the morning, Dan Mahony sat in the same booth he always took at the Top Deck Restaurant, in her station. He was dressed in his work uniform, but his right eye, usually half open, was closed, the lid red and swollen.
‘Morning,’ she said and poured him a cup of coffee.
‘Hey,’ he said and smiled at her. ‘You have a good weekend?’
‘I worked yesterday.’
‘Oh,’ he said. ‘What about Saturday?’
‘It was okay,’ she said. ‘Are you going to have the usual?’
‘I think I’ll go poached with the eggs and bacon and sourdough toast.’
She wrote the order down and left. The next time she came back it was with his food. She set the plate down on the table. He had his face two inches away from the newspaper, trying to read it.
‘Are you all right?’ she said.
‘I hit my head on a cabinet last night. It got part of my bad eye. Sometimes my vision goes off. It’s been pretty good, but whacking my head screwed me up again. Everything’s been blurry for the last day. Does it look bad?’
‘It looks like it hurts,’ she said
‘I’m the clumsiest guy you’ve probably ever met,’ he said and shook his head. ‘Last night on the radio I heard that a guy who was staying at the Eldorado got really mad ’cause he had to wait a half hour for the valet parker to get his car. When it finally came he went straight into his trunk and pulled out a weed burner. They’re like little flame throwers. It’s hooked up to a propane tank and it shoots out flames for burning weeds. Anyway, I guess he chased the valet parker around the lot with it, with the flames shooting out, but the valet was too fast. Those guys can run all night long. So the guy with the flame thrower eventually gives up, runs out of energy, and then gets caught by security. I guess now he’s in jail. I’m trying to see if it’s in the paper but I can’t focus worth a shit.’
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