‘Do you think he’ll come here?’
‘Well, he could. He might be serious about this new broad he’s got, but it would be hard to pass up on you.’
‘I’m a horrible person. That’s why he’ll come here. He’ll find out about the baby, too. I deserve that.”
‘You aren’t that horrible. Old scarface likes you. And you know what? I like him, too. He seems all right to me. He seems like a good guy for you. He reminds me a lot of myself, except for the scar and the no money and the job as a janitor. I ain’t ever liked working a straight job.’
‘Don’t call him scarface.’
‘You just like that he has a dog.’
‘I like the dog, but I like him too,’ she said.
‘I wish I had a pitcher of iced tea. A man can only drink so many Budweisers.’
‘I could make you some,’ the girl said.
‘No, you just sit there and relax. We’re talking, after all.’
‘I wish I didn’t give him up. I wish it more than anything.’
‘You did what you thought was right. If Jimmy knew you’d had a kid, you’d be right back there with him. And let me tell you, that would be rough. You think your dad was a son of a bitch? Jesus, Jimmy would rival his own, I bet. Imagine being stuck with him for the rest of your life. Imagine him yelling at you and changing rules on you for forty years. I’d rather be in jail eating fifty eggs.’
‘I helped burn down that house. I deserve what I get.’
‘It never stops with you. Look, that wasn’t the best move I’ve seen you make. Neither were those tattoos. I can’t believe you’d put signs like that on you. I got to say I was pretty ashamed of you for that one. But that’s what being weak gets you. You’re gonna have to live with that. People do their worst when they’re weak. You’re no different. But now it’s up to you to make your own way. Anyway, the past is the past. I mean, how many people did I send to die in Road To Perdition? I even tried to kill old Tom Hanks. I ain’t a saint. My son in that one sure was a cocksucker. Jimmy and him, they’re the same sort of man. They’ll drag you down through it, kid. So you better stay clear of that shit heel.’
‘Is it all right if I don’t tell anyone I had him? Is it all right if I keep it to myself?’
‘You’ve told me. If you want to tell someone, tell them. If you don’t, don’t. Remember me in Somebody Up There Likes Me?’
‘Of course I do. You were a boxer.’
‘I was probably the greatest boxer of all time. Anyway, I fought like hell in that one. I fought to get through, and Jesus it was tough but I got through. You saw how I ended up. You could do the same.’
‘But I gave him away.’
‘Look, I’ll look in on the little tyke every day or so. I did a check on the family. If only I could’ve had them as my folks.’
‘Can you check on Evelyn, too?’
‘What the hell’s she doing down in Mexico?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I’ll see what I can do. But I’m afraid she’s gonna go through some rough times too. That Junior, I’d like to put him on a chain gang and then send him down in the hole for a couple months. Maybe put him next to Hud. Hud, now that was a son of a bitch. I should have gotten millions for that part. Jesus, I could be mean.’
‘What’s gonna happen to Evelyn?’
‘She’s young. She’ll be all right, but if she wants to come back, buy her a ticket. If you have to go down there and get her, get her.’
‘All right.’
‘So what else is going on?’
‘Well, I really liked your girlfriend in Fort Apache The Bronx. I know I tell you that every time I see you, but it’s true. It really is. I just wish she didn’t die. She was my favorite girlfriend you ever had. I also liked the nurse you had when you’re an old man in Where The Money Is. When she helps you break out and you get away with the armored truck heist and make off with the money and move to Europe. I think of you and me in that one.’
‘I had them write that part for you.’
‘I bet.’
‘I did. Anyway, I sure wish you’d have brought us dinner. How’s your fried chicken?’
‘I could learn.’
‘I’m glad you’re taking your GED course. I think you should try college.’
‘Jesus, you’re aiming a bit high.’
‘No, I’m not. Anyway, I hear you talking. I hear you wanting to give it a try.’
‘I’m sure glad you’re here.’
‘You just watch yourself, kid, I’ll always be here. And lay off the booze. You ain’t much of a drunk. Remember The Helen Morgan Story? I admit I wasn’t much in that one, but then you can’t always pick your roles. Anyway, that poor gal Helen, she sure had a battle with the bottle. She went through and over and under the wringer in that one. I hate to say it but you could end up like that yourself if you don’t keep a lid on it. So take my advice and stay off the booze, go to school, and most of all keep on the lookout for Jimmy. Him and his damn Northline. Remember, kid, there ain’t no place where you can escape to. There’s no place where there aren’t weirdos and death and violence and change and new people. You head up to Wyoming or Montana and you’ll run into the same things as you do in Vegas or New Orleans. You’ll run into yourself.’
‘Do you think he’ll really show up?’
‘He could. I’m not saying he will, but he sure could. But maybe that’s the sorta test you need.’
‘I don’t feel like I could pass any test.’
‘You’ll be all right. We just have to toughen you up as much as we can. And save your dough and move to a nicer place. I don’t like this neighborhood much. That fight tonight didn’t set too well with me. Those two, let’s hope they get evicted. And watch out for old bent back in 213. He’s a pervert. And keep scarface around, you make him happier than he’s been for a long time. And my gut says he’s all right. If only he was as good looking as me. Anyway, kid, for fuck sakes lighten up on yourself.’
‘I’ll try.’
‘I know you will, Ace.’
Chapter 44
Camping
The dog sat in between them in the old pick-up. The sun was out and the day was warm as they headed towards Gerlach, Nevada, and the Black Rock Desert which lay beside the small desert town.
Allison was wearing sunglasses, her hair back in a pony tail, and she was talking and petting the dog.
‘I’ve never really been camping.’
‘We’ll just sleep in the back of the truck,’ Dan Mahony said. ‘We can pretty much drive out onto the desert and camp wherever we want. It’s beautiful at night with the stars. You can hear the trains roll by. It’s so big and flat out on the playa, where we’ll be, that they have the land speed records there. It goes on for miles and miles.’
‘I made us fried chicken,’ she said. ‘Do you like fried chicken?’
‘If you made it, I’ll like it.’
‘I bet,’ she said.
He reached over and squeezed her hand.
‘Can we have a fire?’
‘I brought wood. It’s gonna be cold as a mother out there tonight. In the morning we can go to a hot springs I know.’
‘I didn’t bring a swim suit,’ she said.
‘There will be no one out there most likely. You can just go in your underwear or we can go naked if you want.’
She moved closer to the dog and put her arm around him and the dog licked her arm.
‘I made up my mind,’ Dan said and looked at her.
‘Made up your mind about what?’
‘I’m gonna go back on as a plumber. At least part time. I’ll sorta miss those guys at the VA, but the money’s good with my uncle, and maybe it’s time.’
‘You should try if you want to, and if it doesn’t work out I’m sure they’d let you come back to the hospital.’
‘Probably,’ he said.
‘But remember, if it’s too much don’t do it. I like you just the way you are.’
‘I kn
ow,’ he said. ‘That’s what makes me want to try.’
It was nighttime and they lay naked in the bed of the truck under blankets and an old sleeping bag. The dog lay on Allison’s feet as they both looked up at the stars.
‘I don’t feel so bad about myself being out here, looking at the stars this way,’ she said.
‘If I was as good looking as you, I’d feel pretty damn good.’
‘I bet,’ she said.
‘It’s true,’ he said and took her hand in his.
‘Do you think we’ll hear the coyotes?’
‘I hope so.’
‘Maybe we could stay out here one more night.’
‘I could if you want.’
‘I don’t want to go back there.’
‘Me neither,’ he said. ‘Not just yet.’
The next morning she woke to the sound of Dan cooking breakfast. He had a fire going and she could smell the coffee and bacon he had cooking. The dog lay next to her. The sky was blue and gold and the sun had just started to rise over the mountains. She stayed like that for a long while, just listening to the fire.
When she sat up she petted the dog and said, ‘Is it cold out there? You cold?’
‘It’s not so bad once you get out. But there’s no need for you to get up. You stay in bed as long as you want.’
‘I will then,’ she said and smiled. ‘It sure is beautiful out here.’
‘When I got out of the hospital, when I was good enough to walk around, my uncle and I came out here. He’s got a small camping trailer. It was fall and colder than shit but we stayed out here a week. During the day we’d just drive around. We’d explore, get firewood, go drinking at the bars in Gerlach. We’d drive up to Cedarville and Eagleville. We’d sit in the hot springs. Then in the evening just before dark we’d cook dinner, then we’d get in the trailer and try not to freeze to death. I was pretty damn down. I moped around an awful lot, and my uncle he didn’t know what the hell to do with me. But by the end of the trip I was a hell of a lot better than I was when I first got in his truck on the way out here. Everything makes better sense when you’re in the middle of nowhere.’
‘Were you scared? After you drove home and it was over and your uncle left you at your place, did it all come back? The horrible feelings?’
‘They did,’ he said. ‘But then I had this place to daydream in.’
‘And they got less with time?’
‘They can hijack you sometimes. But not like they used to. Not with you around. They don’t seem as bad now. You want a cup of coffee?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘I just want you to come back to bed. I’m starting to get cold.’
Chapter 45
The Strip
She had made a pot of coffee and put it in a Thermos. It was midmorning and she was dressed in her warmest clothes, walking to the Cal Neva Casino where Dan Mahony sat on the sidewalk waiting for her.
‘You must be tired,’ he said. ‘This is when you usually sleep, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah. I had a little trouble getting going but I wanted to come,’ she said.
‘I brought you some donuts.’
‘You’re gonna make me as fat as a cow,’ she said. She sat next to him on the curb, and poured him a cup of coffee, opened the bag, and took one of the donuts.
‘Can you hear it? They’re just starting,’ he said finally. He stood and helped her to her feet and together they walked down Center Street. He led her across Second Street and turned left towards Virginia.
There were policemen along Virginia Street and barriers closed it off. They waited until the cops let them cross, then they stood on the other side of the street amongst hundreds of people and watched as they got ready to tear down Harold’s Club and the Nevada Club.
Dan took pictures of the buildings and of the workmen and trucks lined along Virginia Street. ‘You know,’ he said, ‘Harold’s Club was one of the first real casinos in this state. With the gimmicks and tricks, with the different kinds of games. Food specials and things like that. Harold Smith was the guy who ran it, then I think his kid ran it. Then I think his grandson, I’m not sure. But those guys ran it for years. In a way they started it all. And now it’s gone. All the old places from that era are disappearing. I guess nothing stays the same. My uncle always says it seems like they just build strip malls now and tear down the beautiful brick buildings and landmarks that tell you about the things that have gone on here in the past. I guess no one here really cares about the past anymore. Might not seem like anything, but maybe it is. So many people move here and to Vegas and all over the West. They don’t have any sorta roots. Maybe chain places are the only roots people have anymore. Maybe roots are Kentucky Fried Chicken and Taco Bell and Wendys. And places like Wal-Mart and K-Mart. The people moving here, they don’t know what it was like before, and most of them probably don’t care. Most people think this is an ugly town. I mean, that Harold’s Club sign and the Nevada Club sign, they’re beautiful to me. I don’t know, but I really think they are.’
She took his hand and said, ‘I guess people just need a place to live. Everyone does. It’s hard when something you know changes, when things get worse or different and you remember when times were easier or at least felt safer and not so busy. That’s what Las Vegas was like for me. Where everything changed, and changed for the worse.’
Dan looked across the street at the buildings. ‘I remember my uncle and me walking down the strip and we’d stare at the Harold’s Club sign and my uncle would ask me to tell him about all the people in it. Every time we’d pass by he’d do it. He’d ask me the name of the mountain man, and he’d ask me where the Indian lived and if he was married, and how many kids the lady in the wagon train had. Sometimes we’d go eat at the Kilroy Diner inside the Nevada Club. Just my uncle and me. We’d sit across from each other and talk. He has this way about him that you can talk about anything with him. We’d just sit there and eat, sometimes he’d let me play Keno and sometimes he’d walk me through the casino and he’d tell me what a bunch of suckers all the folks there were. Maybe that’s why I’m here right now, too. Scared to lose the memory of that. Of walking down this street with him staring at those old signs.’
A siren sounded and minutes later the buildings began to implode. They could hear as the charges began and suddenly the two buildings collapsed into rubble. In less than a minute it was over. There was dust and broken concrete and metal. The crowd of people stood, watching, some cheering. The girl looked around at them and then for an instant saw a man who, from the back, looked like Jimmy Bodie. His hair was the same, greased and black. The coat the man wore was black leather and looked like the one Jimmy had. Her heart froze in panic and she stood still, unable to move. Then the man turned, and she saw that it wasn’t him.
She closed her eyes and said to herself, ‘Please don’t let him find me. Please, please, please, please.’ She repeated it again and again until Dan spoke to her and she opened her eyes to see him. She grabbed his hand and kissed him. She kissed him with desperation. She kissed him with fear and hope and uncertainty. And in weakness she gave everything to him right then and there among the people and the fallen, ruined old casino buildings.
P.S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .
About the author
Meet Willy Vlautin
A Conversation with Willy Vlautin
About the book
“She Fell into Me One Night and I Began Writing Her Story . . .”
Read on
The Northline Soundtrack
Have You Read? More by Willy Vlautin
About the author
Meet Willy Vlautin
Willy Vlautin is the author of The Motel Life, Northline, and Lean on Pete, and the singer and songwriter of the band Richmond Fontaine. He currently resides in Scappoose, Oregon.
A Conversation with Willy Vlautin
What is the best road trip you’ve ever taken?
A few years ago, a day before Christmas, a friend and I were in l
ine buying beer at a grocery store in Portland, Oregon. We didn’t have anywhere to go for the holiday. We didn’t have much going for us at the time either. He looked at me and said, “If I could do anything I’d wake up drunk as hell in Winnemucca on Christmas day.” We started laughing at that and right then we decided to do it. The problem was I didn’t have a car and his didn’t start half the time and it wasn’t insured and had expired tags. He didn’t even have a license. But being the good Samaritan I am, I told him if he drove I’d go with him and we left an hour later. We spent the first night freezing at a closed camp ground. There was snow falling and snow on the ground. The next day we drove into Winnemucca. We spent three days there. It was a trip of good luck and easy times. He won a bit on gambling, there was a great country lounge band in the casino, we met some nice people, ate great Basque food, and the car made it there and back and so did we.
“He looked at me and said, ‘If I could do anything I’d wake up drunk as hell in Winnemucca on Christmas day.’ We started laughing at that and right then we decided to do it.”
Your alt-country band, Richmond Fontaine, formed in 1994. How did you come by that name?
When we were looking for a band name I told the guys we had to name it the Impalas. Back then I loved the old cars. Dodge Darts where my thing, but also Pontiac LeMans and Impalas. That week it was Impalas. So finally I talked them into it and we were the Impalas and we made up tapes and played a bunch of shows and tried to get something going. Then we found out that there were five other bands in the U.S. called the Impalas. So suddenly we had to change our name. The problem was that none of us could come up with anything. During this time our bass player, Dave Harding, went down to Baja, Mexico, for vacation. He and a friend drove into the desert and they got stuck in the sand out in the boonies. They didn’t know what to do so they just camped by the side of the road and waited. A day went by and then a man drove up in a truck and got out. From what I’ve been told he was an American expat, a burned-out hippy who’d partied too much and had given up on the U.S. But even as burned-out as he was, he helped the guys get out. Afterwards he invited them to his place. The guys followed him home and they stayed with him for a couple days. Supposedly, that time at his trailer was really something. Very crazed.
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