by Nina Crespo
The words born from his sudden realization came out on their own. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.”
She reared back a little. “What?” Her face a mix of confusion and doubt, probably about if she’d heard him right or even if the apology he should have given her years ago was sincere.
“I wasn’t here after your father died, and because of that, you had to make sacrifices on your own to keep Tillbridge going. It shouldn’t have been that way.”
For a second, it looked as if the wall she’d let slip was going back up. “Why did you just leave?”
Why? To him it was a hard question. For her, it was about him having kept her in the dark without an explanation. He saw it then in her eyes. They’d been close once, and he’d hurt her the most by shutting her out.
His phone drew his gaze. He’d viewed the recording Chloe had made of Erica at the cottage as a way of absolving him from blame, and he hadn’t seen the point of doing that. He’d believed they just needed to move on and forget about the past, but Zurie needed answers before she could move on to anything with him.
Tristan reached forward, picked up his phone, and accessed the recording. “I’ll let Erica answer that question. I need you to listen to something.”
“Erica? What does she have to do with this?”
“Just listen. You’ll understand.” He hit Play and set the phone back on her desk. For most of it, the voices were too low to make out, except for one critical part. Just hearing Erica’s voice irritated him. He stood and paced away from the desk as the recording played. It finally reached the crucial moment.
“There were wealthier men out there. Why marry him?”
“I didn’t have a choice. Don’t you dare stand there and judge me. I was broke, and in debt and I had nowhere else to go. He gave me a way out, and I took it. Maybe I wouldn’t have if you would have been here instead.”
Incredulity filled Zurie’s face. “That’s Erica...when was this recorded?”
“Around two weeks ago.” He stopped the recording and picked up his phone.
Her mouth remained agape for a moment, then she pointed at the phone in his hand. “So if I’m reading between the lines correctly, she wanted you instead of your father. I know you wouldn’t do anything, but did she try anything like...” She grimaced with a look of distaste as if trying to find the words but not liking any of the available ones. “Try to hook up with you?”
“Two days before I left.”
“Did you tell Uncle Jacob?”
“I didn’t get a chance.” Tristan told her what happened from beginning to end, including his father’s ultimatum.
Zurie closed her eyes a moment and shook her head. “But why didn’t you tell me or Rina what happened? Maybe we could have done something.”
“And make you two choose between them or me? I was afraid that if Dad thought I was stirring the pot with you two against them, he’d make good on his threat and distance himself. Besides that, Erica only let me see the truth about her. She showed everyone else the facade of a loving wife. All everyone talked about was how happy he was. And when it came to running Tillbridge, you needed him more than you needed me.”
“No.” She stood and walked over to him. “That’s not true. How could you even think that?” Zurie gave him a small sad smile. “I’d envisioned us stepping up as the new generation, just like Dad and Uncle Jacob used to talk about when we were younger.”
“I did, too.” He laid his hand on her shoulder. “But you had the most experience running this place, I didn’t and Dad had all of the connections. People that may not have done business with us if he would have walked away. And truthfully, I needed a minute. I was still adjusting after getting back from my last tour in the Middle East. Me staying wasn’t worth the risk of me possibly ending up being dead weight to you in running this place.”
Zurie stared at her feet. When she looked back up, her eyes were bright with unshed tears but a little more than a hint of irritation showed on her face. “I understand why you did what you did, but I don’t agree with it.”
She glared at him but there was also a softness in her expression. Something he hadn’t witnessed in forever on her face when she’d looked at him. Seeing that small concession in her gave him hope. “Does this mean we can call a truce, sign the papers and move forward as partners?” He extended his hand to her.
“A handshake?” She batted it away and wrapped her arms around him. “For the record, I’m still mad at you.”
Tentative, and rusty from lack of use, their embrace paled in comparison to their bear hugs of the past, but it was a start.
She released him. “But I’m hella-pissed at Erica. Earlier this year, I found an inventory of Uncle Jacob’s collection in a file. You know how he hated paperwork. Who knows how it got there. Anyway, now we can inventory what she sent over and make sure everything is there. And if it’s not, we not only have the inventory, but her words, proving that she’s shady. I’m so glad you made the recording.”
“I didn’t. Chloe did. She was in the other room when Erica showed up. She wasn’t able to get everything, but she got the parts that mattered.”
The part that had just allowed him to begin to make amends with Zurie so they could close that chapter of their pasts and focus on building a new one.
“Well, make sure you tell her thank you for me,” Zurie said.
The sinking feeling that he’d battled whenever he thought of her, since leaving LA, took all the air from his lungs. He forced a breath. “We’re not together anymore. I care about her, but we’re on different paths. She’s committed to her career. I’m committed to Tillbridge. I won’t be seeing her again.”
Zurie’s expression sobered. “Well...now’s probably a good time for me to tell you why I wanted to meet today.” As she headed back to the desk chair, she pointed to the seat he’d vacated. “You should sit down...”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Tristan sat back in his desk chair, blinking away eye strain from staring at the computer reading through the inventory report. Gloria had sent it to him before leaving for the day a couple of hours ago.
He could see that she’d been puzzled that he’d asked for it so late. Friday nights, he usually knocked off early and headed to the Montecito, but the desire wasn’t there. He would have just spent the night thinking about Chloe...and that she was coming back.
The production company for the movie that Chloe’s auditioning for hit a snag with the owners of the horse farm where they were planning to film. Something involving contracts and money. Lena referred them to me about filming here at Tillbridge...
That’s what Zurie had told him. Since then, it had been a revolving door of people associated with the film production checking out the property. Even though they hadn’t signed the ownership papers yet, Zurie had kept him in the loop with the negotiations. She’d done well. Not only would film company pay to use Tillbridge, but they’d build the indoor arena and a structure they could turn into an additional stable once the filming ended.
It was a win-win situation for them and the production company, but things were moving fast. He had to find a way to wrap his mind around seeing Chloe again...with Nash. In a month the cast, including Chloe, were staying at Tillbridge for an immersion experience of learning about horses and working at the stable.
A knock sounded on the side door in the hallway outside his office. The stable was locked up for the night. Only he was there.
Tristan switched to the video camera feed on his computer and clicked on the one over the outside door that opened into the hallway.
It was Mace. He wasn’t in uniform. Turning, he looked directly at the camera. Of course he knew Tristan was watching him.
Tristan walked into the hall to unlock and open the door.
Mace strolled in carrying a plastic shopping bag. “Hey.” He headed straight to the
office giving Tristan no choice but to follow him.
He did after he relocked the door. As soon as Tristan sat behind his desk, Mace who sat on the other side of it, reached into his bag, pulled out two beers, and used the edge of the desk to pop the tops.
Tristan accepted the one he handed him. “Let me guess. Gloria called you.”
“She did. Along with a few other people who reached out to me about you.”
“Other people? Who?”
Mace chuckled, then drank from his beer. “You really are out of it if you don’t know the answer to that question.” He ticked off names on his fingers. “Try Philippa, Rina, and then there was Wes. Blake and Adam just ambushed me down at the Montecito tonight, and oh, Zurie.”
“Zurie?” Tristan was baffled. “Why?”
“They claim you haven’t been the same since you got back from your trip this past Monday. Honestly, I thought they were exaggerating, but you look like hell.”
“Thanks a lot. And they sent you here to cheer me up.” Tristan huffed a breath. “What were they thinking?”
“That you needed a friend. So from what I understand, you went to California to see Chloe. What happened? Last I heard things were going well between the two of you.”
The sincerity in Mace’s gaze made Tristan regret sniping at him. Maybe he did need to talk about it, and Mace was the one to talk to. The man was a vault. He wouldn’t repeat what was said.
Tristan took a long pull from his beer. “Things were good while we were here, but in California, things were different.”
“How so?”
“Do remember how she looked the first day she was here? Well, magnify that by five.”
Mace’s brow rose. “Maybe I shouldn’t. She is your girlfriend.”
“Was my girlfriend.” A bitter chuckle escaped him. “Actually, we never made it to that stage. That’s why I went there. To ask her.”
“She said no. Damn.” Mace shook his head. “That’s tough.”
“Yeah, it was tough, but not because she said no. I didn’t ask her. I couldn’t. Like I said she was different.” Seeing that change was harder to accept than her telling Nash about his past. Sharing his story was possibly a slip, but how she’d looked and acted in LA, that was hard fact. Sipping his beer, he washed that realization down inside of him where it just sat, taking up too much space. “She was Chloe Daniels, the actress. Not the Chloe who was here. I belong here. She doesn’t. She belongs in Hollywood, living that life. That’s what’s important to her. She’d never be happy here and ultimately that’s what I would have wanted. Her, here at Tillbridge with me.”
That was the first time he’d actually said it—that was what he wanted. For Chloe to call Tillbridge home someday.
Mace set his beer on the desk and settled back in the chair. “Did you tell her that?”
“No. Why would I when I know she doesn’t want the same?”
“Because that’s her choice to make not yours to assume.” Mace pointed at him. “You wimped out and didn’t ask her, so now you’re sitting here feeling like you got kicked in the gut over a question you never got the answer to.”
Tristan went to refute what he said...and couldn’t. Yeah, he’d assumed. “But you didn’t see her. It was like a glove she slipped right into.”
“So she was in the zone, doing her thing.”
“Exactly.”
“Like you were in the zone while you were riding bulls or like I’m in the zone when I put on my uniform. That’s her job. You should be able to relate to that and understand the shift in attention. But I’m confused. At first you said things were different in California but just now you said she was different. Are you saying the two of you being together didn’t feel right anymore?”
Holding her. Making love to her. Just being around her. None of that was different.
He set his half-full beer on the desk, no longer interested in drinking it. “No. It was more than just right.”
“If that’s the case, why are you sitting here being miserable instead of finding a way to make things work with her?”
“What if she doesn’t want the same things that I do?”
Mace looked him in the eyes. “What if she does and just because you won’t talk to her you’re missing out because you’re too afraid to—”
“You don’t have to say it.” Tristan already knew what was coming. “Because I won’t take the risk.”
Take the risk. It was the same advice that Mace had given him weeks ago when he was on the fence about getting involved with Chloe. It was also something that he already innately knew. But what if he was right and trying to pursue a relationship with her was a big mistake. But what if by not risking it all, he lost the chance of what he wanted with every part of him...forever with Chloe.
Chapter Thirty-Three
As Chloe trekked across the parking lot of the stable at Tillbridge, gravel crunched under her cowboy boots. Just as it had when she’d first arrived there two days ago, the familiarity of the place filled her with a mix of emotions.
Shivering, she tucked her hands into the short dark jacket, emblemized with the name of the film on the back and her name on the front left side.
The unusually cool morning, the result of some freak storm, was supposed to be replaced by summerlike temperatures later on. She’d peel off the layers once the sun rose, taking off the jacket and spending the rest of the day in just her T-shirt, jeans and boots.
If only she could shed the memories of Tristan as easily.
Him not being there during the two weeks of orientation at the stable with the cast of the movie before they started filming brought her a sense of relief and sadness. Gloria had told her that he and Adam were picking up rescue horses in Georgia and North Carolina. Still, she’d found herself looking for him, wishing she could see him so maybe they could talk. She wanted to apologize and for them to exist in the same space without him hating her. Her feeling like she couldn’t breathe whenever she thought about him breaking things off, that would take some time.
Back in LA, she’d lain awake at night wondering how she could stay focused in a place that reminded her strongly of him. She’d given in to the idea that had persisted in her mind the most—returning to the last place he’d taken her before she’d left for her audition. He didn’t want to talk to her so what she couldn’t say to him would be shared with the trees and the horses in the pasture, instead of Tristan. But maybe just saying the words trapped in her heart might give her the closure as well as the strength she’d need to stay focused, especially once filming started.
At the far corner of the parking lot near an entrance to the trail, Blake waited for her with a golf cart.
She’d wanted to saddle up Moonlight for the ride and lose herself in the grooming of the horse afterward, but she didn’t have time. Orientation at the stable with the rest of the cast was happening in a couple of hours. Actors who showed up late risked being labeled as prima donnas, expecting people to wait for them. That wasn’t the impression she wanted to make.
She hugged Blake and returned his smile. “Thank you for signing this out for me. I won’t be gone long.”
He waived off her concern. “Take your time. You’re family. Just park it back here when you’re done and I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks.” Family... As Chloe got in and released the brake she had to avoid looking at him as she blinked back tears. As surreal as it was to be there, and not see Tristan, Tillbridge did feel like home.
She’d anticipated more awkward moments with the staff, coming back under the circumstances of their breakup, but to her relief, they’d greeted her with genuine smiles. Even Zurie had given her a big hug in the reception area at the guesthouse when she’d first arrived.
Everyone welcoming her back, along with the excitement buzzing through the stable and the guesthouse in anticipation of what
was to come with filming the movie there—meeting the actors, the possibility of snagging parts as extras—had lifted some of her own weighty feelings.
As Chloe steered the golf cart down the straightaway, the sun rose higher. Soft white rays shone through the tree leaves creating prisms of light illuminating the trail. She slowed down over the dips and the final curve and parked at the bottom of the slight incline. After grabbing the blanket Blake had left for her on the passenger seat like she’d asked, Chloe hiked upward to the overlook above the pasture. Then she spread out the blanket and sat where Tristan had held her and told her about his dreams for Tillbridge.
The memory took shape of the way he’d looked at her, the way he’d smiled as he’d talked, and how he’d taken breaks in between what he’d said just to kiss her.
Now, all the things he’d wanted were in his grasp, the expansion plan, ownership in Tillbridge. When she’d talked to Rina, she’d heard he’d even gotten his father’s memorabilia back.
Chloe shut her eyes, still seeing Tristan’s face on the day he’d told her about his ambitions for the stable. Remnants of the happiness she’d felt for him then intertwined with sadness that she couldn’t help him celebrate now.
Bitter and sweet wrapped around her heart and squeezed. If she hadn’t hurt him, she would have been.
My past isn’t some make-believe scenario for someone to act out like they understand it. It’s my life. It’s real to me and I shared it with you because I thought what we had together was real. But I guess in this world that you live in, you can’t tell the difference between a script and reality.
Remembering Tristan’s last words to her in LA hit even harder now and she sucked in a breath.
