Screw him for being the one I wanted.
A knock rattled the door. “Susan?” my mother asked quietly. “Can I come in?” I wanted to tell her no, but she’d already popped her head in, and of course there was no going back from there. “Oh, honey.” She hastened toward me.
I hid my tearing eyes in my arms again. The Bambi blanket was being draped over my shoulders. Mom pulled it together at the front and laid her arms around me, rubbing my back. “Your dad told me what happened. Do you want to talk about it?”
No. Heck, it was a miracle I could still talk when my dad drove me home. It must have been the anger that had made me spill all the details like a darn fountain in front of him. But now my voice had abandoned me. I shook my head.
Mom just sat there and held me until my feet had turned into ice cubes and it was no longer my sobs that shook me, but the cold. She helped me put on my flannel bottoms and handed me a sweatshirt and thick woolen socks. When I was dressed, she took my hand and led me downstairs where she parked me on the couch while she went to get me a cup of hot cocoa. With whipped cream topping…
“Thanks, Mom.” I dipped my lip into the cream and licked it off. “Why are you home anyway? Isn’t it a night shift for you again?”
“I called in sick. I think I’m running a fever.”
Placing my cold palm on her forehead, I checked. No, she definitely didn’t have a fever. But her eyes were swollen and her nose blotchy. From crying?
There wasn’t a single day in the past three years that my mom had stayed home without a cause, such as tending to me after getting my appendix removed in ninth grade. Dad’s leaving must have hit her harder than expected.
Curling my legs on the couch and holding on tight to the warm cup, I tipped to her side and put my head on her shoulder. She stroked my cheek and my hair, then pressed a kiss to my brow. “It’s not easy to be seventeen, hm?”
“Doesn’t seem like it’s any easier at forty-two.”
A quiet laugh came from my mom. “No. It isn’t.”
Soon, I fell asleep on the couch and didn’t even notice when my mom covered me with a wool blanket, turned off the light, and snuck away.
In the morning, she woke me with a special breakfast of sausage, eggs, and hash browns. There was also a plate with a pile of pancakes and maple syrup waiting to be attacked.
Looking at the scrumptious meal, I heaved a sigh. “Mom, I don’t want to go to school today.”
“I know, honey, but I don’t like you playing hooky. It’s Friday. Don’t you think you can cope until noon?”
“No.” I would only run into Chris…or Ethan. And I didn't want to see either one of them today. “You ditched work last night. It’s only fair that I stay home today, too.”
Mom clicked her tongue and gave me a sheepish smile. “I knew you’d say something like that. That’s why I made us a special breakfast. Fine. But only today.” She pointed a strict finger at me. “On Monday you’re going back, no matter what.”
“Thanks, Mom. I promise.” Kissing her on the cheek, I sat down and picked up my fork. But the hunger that should’ve risen with such an epic Friday morning breakfast remained hidden. I shoved the scrambled eggs around on my plate until a crumb fell over the edge.
Cutting her sausage but not eating, either, Mom sent me a sad look across the table. “You don’t look hungry.”
“Neither do you.”
“Maybe we should call Grandpa. He’d loved to be served pancakes and eggs.”
That’s what we did, and with him in the kitchen, the mood crawled up a few notches. It was enough to make me force down half a sausage and a hash brown.
A little later, my mother got ready for work. She’d traded her shift with one of her colleagues and would work for the rest of the day. I trudged back to my room, turned on the TV, and switched to the Disney Channel. Donald Duck was the only guy I could stomach today. After some time, I remembered that I hadn’t turned my cell back on since last night.
There were twenty-four missed calls—thirteen from Chris, six from Ethan, two from Lisa and Sam, and one from Hunter. Apart from that, seventeen new text messages waited in my inbox. Without hesitation, I deleted all sixteen from Chris, but read the one from Ryan he’d sent the night before. Chris begged me to talk to you. Can I talk to you…?
All of them were at school right now and certainly wondering why I hadn’t shown up. I sent Sam a message to call me at lunch. Instead of following such a simple order, though, she decided to drop by herself. And she brought Tony and Nick.
Feeling a little awkward when I opened the door still in my PJs, I grimaced. “What the heck are you doing here?”
“We’re the cheer-up commando,” Nick announced, shoving past me and raiding the fridge for something to eat. Since they’d skipped lunch because of me, that was probably fair.
“Sorry, I couldn’t shake them off,” Sam mouthed, coming in with Tony. She sat down in a kitchen chair.
Tony straddled the one next to her. “So you really had no idea who you were with yesterday?”
“Tony!” Sam poked an elbow in his ribs.
His bluntness made me laugh, because I expected no less from him. At least now it was clear that everyone knew everything already. No need to play keep-a-secret. But a little subtlety wouldn’t have hurt.
“Twins?” I replied with a sarcastic edge to my voice. “Identical? How do you keep them apart?”
Tony stole one half of Nick’s sandwich as he joined us at the table and bit off the corner. Around the bite in his mouth he murmured, “Most of the time, it’s clear from where I meet them. If I don’t know, I just ask.”
“Yeah, right.” I blinked a couple times. “Because asking would have gotten me a damn lot farther with Chris last night.”
A casual shrug. “Probably not. By the way, Ethan says”—he creased his forehead and made an intense face after he swallowed the bite—“Thanks for the message and then turning off your phone. If you don’t answer it soon, he’s going to toss stones at your window.”
Yep, I expected something like that. “You’ll see him at soccer practice today, right?”
Both Tony and Nick nodded.
“Good. Tell him he better have a really, really good explanation, or I’ll never again answer my phone when he’s calling.”
“I don’t know…” Sam lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I liked his explanation. In fact, I like both their excuses for doing what they did.” She heaved a romantic sigh. “Team Chris all the way.”
Slowly, I turned my head toward her, my gaze baffled but hard as stone.
“Whoa, it’s late!” she said quickly and jumped from her chair. “We better get moving, guys, or lunch will be over while we’re still sitting here.” With a sheepish grin on her face, she pulled the boys up and ushered them out the door.
“Call me if you want to hang out this weekend!” Nick shouted over his shoulder as he was pushed by a dwarf that reached no farther than an inch beneath his collar bone.
“Will do.” It was a halfhearted promise, but maybe some nice company could take my mind off the recent embarrassment in my life.
My phone rang a few more times that day. Most of the calls came from Dream Guy Material. At some point, I was so sick of that name that I changed it. So when Chris tried to reach me the next time, my phone read out the warning: Don’t pick up!
Ethan’s calls also went straight to voice mail. Talking to him just didn’t fit my mood this weekend. The only two people I let into my life were my mom and Gramps. And I talked to Dad on the phone. He was seriously worried. From the sound of it, he doused the phone in spittle when he said, “I should drive to that guy’s house and have a word with him.”
“That won’t be necessary, Dad.” I laughed. “But thanks for offering.”
His voice calmed. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”
Really, anything? Then come home, I wanted to beg. Let’s be a family again. Mom’s so sad because of you. But of course, that would be
the wrong wish to put into words because—for all it’s worth—my dad might do it. And nothing would be different from how it was before. It was hard on everybody, but I was starting to believe that it really was for the best. I still had my dad, after all. And time would heal my mom’s pain…like it would heal my pain over Chris.
That’s what I kept telling myself the entire weekend.
Until I saw Chris again on Monday morning.
I should have been more observant as I walked to science, but seriously, how could I get my head clear when Simone and Allie were stereo-babbling in my ears about the New Year’s Eve party at Ryan’s? Like there was nothing more important than what to wear to that damn pseudo-ball.
“I’m not even sure if I’m going,” I told them, pushing my schoolbag higher up my aching back. Lounging on the sofa for forty-eight hours with tearjerkers on the screen was murder for my spine.
“What?” Nick blurted behind us and startled me. “I was so going to ask you to go with me.”
Slowing in my tracks, I turned around and made a sheepish face. He only suggested it because after Friday’s lunch break he knew how down I was. “Nice try, Nick, but it won’t work.”
“Shame.” He made a sad face, but it brightened quickly enough as a flock of girls passed us by. Nick’s head turned as his gaze followed them. He spun back to me with a smile. “If you really don’t want to go, I’ll ask Jessica Markert. Think she’ll go out with me? She’s coming to all our games.”
I had history with Jessa and Nick knew her from math. She was a nice girl, blond and shy, but she’d broken up with her boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. I seriously doubted she was back to dating anybody yet. Not to ruin my friend’s enthusiasm about it, though, I forced an encouraging smile and held up my hands, crossing my fingers.
Simone grabbed my arms. “Why don’t you want to go? A party will do you a hell of good in your current mood.”
“Yeah, right. Like I need to be at a party where that douche is, too.” Turning around, my mouth dropped open, because said douche had rounded the corner and stood right in front of me, stopping me dead. Thank God, he wore his leather jacket today, the only thing that gave him away.
“Hey, Sue,” he said in a low voice. He seemed to be no less startled than me, although there might have been a little bit of happiness attached to his surprise.
Looking at his cornflower-blue eyes, which held a touch of pleading, a new surge of anger swamped me. There was only one way for me to evade kicking up a stink in the hallway of my high school. I had to get away, and fast.
Voice freezing like an arctic storm, I said, “Excuse me. I have to get to my class.” I brushed past him and headed on, not caring if the girls followed me or not. Science was only two doors ahead. I slipped inside with a bunch of students, hoping for the bell to ring soon so class could distract me.
I didn’t see Chris again all morning, but lunch didn’t appeal to me much either, because Ethan would sit with us again, and there was no evading talking to him. Or maybe I could, if I held my head low and looked at no one.
Sam, Lisa, and I were some of the first students who got to the cafeteria. Our table was empty, except for Sasha Torres and Alex Winter. Not hungry, I headed straight to them instead of lining up in front of the buffet with my friends.
“Hey, guys,” I said and lowered into my usual seat, grabbing one of the water bottles from the middle of the table. Taking a sip, I almost spilled the water on myself when someone pulled out the chair beside me, slumped down, grabbed one leg of my chair, and pulled me around to face him.
Leather jacket. “What the hell, Chris! Are you crazy?”
“We talk. Now.”
“No.”
“Oh, yes.” He planted his legs on either side of me, caging me in. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and fixed me with a stare. “You’re mad at me, all right. Not answering your phone? Fine. But I’m not going until you hear me out.”
“Didn’t you get the message last time? I’m not interested.” I screwed the lid back on top of the bottle and put it on the table.
More guys from the soccer team had come and joined us. Ryan sank into his chair across from me. “Hey, Chris,” he said in an amused voice. “Showing up here? Respect, dude.”
Chris ignored him. His gaze was still on me. “I don’t buy it. You were interested from the very first minute you challenged me. You were interested when we played soccer together. You were interested when I kissed you. And you were interested when I fucking kissed you again. Don’t tell me bullshit and don’t brush me off. This is too—”
“Shut up,” I cut him off sharply and rose to my feet, shoving my chair back. More students filed into the cafeteria. Our table was now full with eleven people, one of them his brother. They all eyed us with growing interest. “I told you why it’s not going to work with us. That you fooled me last week only proves my point.” As Chris stood, too, venom crawled into my voice. “You’re so full of yourself, it’s disgusting! Now let me go.”
“No.” He was no longer trapping me with his legs, but he laid his hands on my hips, holding me in place.
“Don’t touch me!” I hissed, reminding him of one of the last things I spat at him at the end of our miserable date.
Chris didn’t let go.
“You call me full of myself?” he snapped. “Don’t throw stones while in your little glasshouse, Sue. From the start, you tried to keep me away, simply out of principle. Because I wasn’t who you expected to fall in love with. You kept denying your feelings for me, but I have proof of it on my phone. It’s in every damn text you sent back to me!”
My hand shot out and left a red mark on his cheek as his head jerked to the side. He didn’t see that one coming. Frankly, neither did I. On second thought, it was the one thing I’d wanted to do since the moment I’d figured out who had kissed me in that bar.
A collective gasp sounded around us. “Ouch,” Ryan whined.
Grinding his teeth and blinking slowly, Chris turned back to me, the shock in his eyes apparent. “I certainly deserved that one,” he said in a much lower voice than before, “but I also deserve a second chance, don’t you think?”
Really? After spewing all these things in front of my friends? “I think I’m done with you. And I told you so already. Now get the hell out of my way.” I grabbed my backpack and was about to head off, but Chris snagged my wrist and held me close to his side.
“Don’t run away from me now,” he begged quietly.
Turning so we were eye to eye, I lowered my voice too, but there was nothing at all pleading in it. “Let. Go.”
Jerking my hand free, I spun around and stalked out of the cafeteria.
Chapter 21
I FORCED A happy face through PE and journalism, but as soon as the final bell released us from school on Monday afternoon, I escaped and was on my way home without another word to anyone. My throat still tight with unshed tears, speaking about Chris with my friends would have hurt on more levels than just emotionally. I didn't want to break down where he could see me.
At home, I flung myself into studying for winter finals. With luck, I could keep myself distracted for the next couple of weeks. After that, my sorrow should have eased and winter break could once again be fun. Yep, that was the plan. Only, there was a tear sliding down my cheek…
I dabbed it away.
Halfway through my history assignment, the doorbell rang. Mom was at work and I was alone. Gramps wouldn’t ring the bell, he had a key, so who the heck was disturbing me? Hopefully not the guys again. I really needed a break from everything and discussing whether or not I should go to Hunter’s New Year’s party was the one thing ranking lowest on my list of wishes.
With little hope that it was a salesman who would be easier to get rid of than Sam or Simone, I opened the door. And gaped. What the hell—
For a silent moment, I just stared at the guy outside. Heat and cold zoomed in a twist down my spine. I grabbed my unzipped hoodie and wrap
ped it tighter around me, leaving my arms crossed. Anger charged through me. My jaw hardened and my eyes narrowed. “Which twin are you?”
“Um…” Hands in his pockets, he bit his lip. His gaze darted uncomfortably from left to right and back as he slowly offered, “Da…gay…one?”
I wanted to grab Ethan by the collar of his blue shirt and shake him because he’d almost made me laugh when I so didn’t want to in front of him. Keeping a leash on my giggle, I snapped, “What do you want?”
“Well, I’d love to play Mario Kart with you.” He shrugged sheepishly. “But I believe there’s a huge amount of apologies to be given before that’s going to happen again.”
I stood on the threshold and fixed him with eyes that had turned into glaciers. Ethan sighed. “Why won’t you answer your phone, Susan? It was a lot of bull that happened last week, but for the sake of our friendship, you owe it to me to at least listen.”
“I owe you nothing.” I didn’t even blink when the words flowed out of my mouth like ice water.
“Yes, you do. Now get out of the way and let me in. I have some explaining to do.” As if him ordering me wasn’t shocking enough, he put his arms around my waist and lifted me off the ground, carrying me inside so he could close the door.
“Ethan!” I cried out. “What are you doing?”
“Making sure you don’t slam the door in my face, because that’s what you were thinking about—and don’t even try to deny it.” He shoved me to the kitchen. “Now sit down, or do you want to go upstairs to your room so we’re alone?”
“We are alone. My mom’s at work.”
“Good. Now sit.”
At his order, I sighed heavily and dropped to the seat. Ethan slid into the chair across from me. “I understand that I messed this up. Even though—and we should both consider that”—his stern gaze held mine—“I only acted in your and my brother’s best interests.”
Folding my arms over my chest again, I leaned back in the chair. “How is getting played by twins in my best interest?”
Dating Trouble (Grover Beach Team Book 5) Page 24
