by M. N. Forgy
Black Hat struts back into the room with a box, sliding it onto the table behind Raven.
“Everything okay?” he questions her, and she takes a deep breath.
“Of course, I can handle it,” she replies calmly, as if she didn’t just go crazy bitch on me.
“I brought that cheap ass wine you like, thought we could celebrate catching her,” Black Hat chuckles.
I rattle the bars, needing out. Feeling suffocated, and hopeless. I can’t just sit here and let all of this happen again.
“SOMEONE HELP ME!” I scream so loud my throat bleeds. I know nobody can hear me, but I have to fight back.
“Shut up!” Black Hat throws an empty beer can at me.
“Let me out of here now!” I kick the cage back, not caring of the repercussions.
“That’s it,” he seethes, turning behind him he grabs something off the table. Being down on the ground I can’t see what is on it. Hunching down, he unlocks the cage, and I begin to kick and scratch. Bite and scream. Anything to gain some control and escape. He sits on top of me, the cage so small I’m pinned to the cold ground. Fisting my chin harshly, he dabs something on my lips, and I whimper as a thick warmth coats them. Using both hands, he pinches my lips together, before blowing on them. His dark eyes bringing so many memories to the surface. I close my eyes, not wanting to remember the terror this man brought to my life but it’s no use. They fly into place and I feel more like myself than I ever have. It’s scary. I feel dangerous, alive, and ruthless.
I was Brown 5, taken from my family to train to be the best killer. I have no life, this was life.
He pushes me back into the cage and slams the door shut, locking it.
Opening my mouth to scream at him I can’t. My lips are sealed shut and when I try to pull them apart it tears at the skin brutally.
My wide eyes cut to his and he holds a small tube in between his thumb and forefinger. Super Glue. He fucking glued my lips shut.
“Watch her, I’m going to go take a piss,” he orders Raven. When he leaves the room, I pry at my lips, clenching my eyes shut as I peel them apart like layers of an onion. It stings, burns, and I have to stop halfway as tears slip from eyes from the excruciating pain.
“You really are fucking stupid,” Raven taunts, watching me tear my lips apart. It’s just pain, I can do this.
Taking a deep breath, I bite my cheek and try to pull my inner Brown 5 to the surface. A warrior not scared of pain, but a survivor. Trying again I jerk at my lips and the soft skin of my lips tear and bleed, but finally they part slowly.
Sobbing, I wipe the blood splitting from my bottom lip with the back of my hand.
Raven eyes me like an animal that just did a trick, amazed. She may hate me, but she looks up to me. I can tell.
“I remember most of everything, Raven. I remember how scared I was back then, how hungry I was, I was in that shit with you, and…” My head falls, wishing so hard I could change what happened but I can’t. Not wanting to remember the hurt and pain I caused others just like me.
I’m a fucking monster and went around with my head held high knowing I was different but not the depths of it.
Looking up through blurry eyes, lips bleeding, I sigh at a loss for words.
“I am not your enemy, he is,” I point where Black Hat went. Her hands drop as she eyes the room Black Hat went in. Her body tensing. “Cross is who took everything from us, and broke us.” I tremble with anger, with pain.
“No, you went on living a normal life. Sunday church, a cheesy family. I’ve been drowning in pain this whole time,” she states and a crack of emotion shows. I slipped past her mask of control, and this is my chance to work her. To get out of here.
“I would have taken you with me if I had the choice,” sympathy laced in my tone. “I would have taken everyone,” I gesture toward the other cages, and her eyes flash with an unknown look.
“It’s not too late, you can have normal. Have a family, start over. If I can do it, you can do it.” I shrug.
She hunches down, eyeing me with softer eyes. “I still remember my parents, do you?” she asks with glossy eyes. My head falls, and no matter how hard I dig… I don’t see them in my heart.
“I don’t, but I wish I did,” I cry, tears stinging my raw lips.
“It’s the only thing I hang onto, my mom and dad. The memories of us before my life was turned into…” she shakes her head. “I’ll never escape this hell,” she whispers.
“You can escape now, Raven,” I coax her, and her head snaps to mine. “You didn’t have control last time, you do now,” I continue hoping to rub her down.
“I…” she stumbles on her words, her eyes filling with tears. “I’ve hated you my entire life, and thought about what I would do to you given the chance.” She hangs her head, a tear slipping down her cheek. “And now all I want to do is let you go.” Her voice thick with emotion. “Why?” she shrugs.
“Do it, let me go, and we can fight this together, Raven.” I jump at the bars, reaching through I cup her hand. It’s cold and hard, anything you would expect a human to have voided. Her eyes peer up at mine.
“No,” she grunts. I blink. No what? No, she won’t let me go? Or no we won’t fight this?
Standing, she grabs something from the table, and bends back down, unlocking the lock. She looks at me with sad eyes. She’s so broken, so hurt and confused she doesn’t know what she wants. She just wants to be loved, belong somewhere. I know, because I remember the feeling. If this whole experience brought anything back, it was that cold, searing feeling of not belonging. Dropping the key to the ground, she whimpers before slinking out of the room like a ghost.
Oh my God, I’m free. I’m free. Quickly I unlace the lock holding the door to the cage and push the gate open just as Black Hat walks into the room.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He rushes at me and I quickly stand and kick him in the face. His head whips to the side, but it doesn’t slow him. He grabs ahold of me and slams my head into the table. A bright light flashes behind my eyes, my head throbbing painfully. I notice a rusty screwdriver lays ahead on the rickety table. I reach for it, but it’s just out of reach. Fuck! Using my tiptoes I push forward, and my fingers tickle the metal that makes up the straight edge.
The animal in me shakes its cage, roaring to be released at full throttle. I’m not sure what I’m scared of more. Letting the shadows of my past in, or letting my monster out. If I let this darkness seep from the cracks of my soul, there will be no putting it back. I will not be Alessandra, but a mixture of Brown 5 and Alessandra.
Black Hat grips me around the neck, and my body wants to relax into his hold, give him control. He is the reason I act the way I do when Felix touches me there. It was how he controlled me in training. Furrowing my brows, I push past the urge to relent. One man controls me, and that is Felix.
Using all my might I grasp the screwdriver, fisting it, I turn in Black Hat’s hold. His grip tightening on my neck to the point I can’t breathe. His beady eyes smiling back at me as he squeezes the life out of me.
Taking a deep breath, I let the terror of that little girl trapped in a cage… out.
Swinging my hand back I slam the straight edge screwdriver into his back until it hits bone. He screams, and backhands me off the table. My face throbs, and pain licks up my temple. Mid fall I grab the box of contents sitting on the table before falling to the ground. A bottle of wine, corkscrew, Taser, leash, and cattle prod falling next to me. He hollers and cries trying to withdraw the tool from his back.
Jerking it free he comes at me with it and I grab the bottle of wine as it’s closer and slam it against his head. Knocking him to the ground.
Shifting onto all fours, I climb on top of his back and drive the bottle into his skull one more time. The impact of glass and bone vibrating through my hand just as it breaks in my hold. The smell of strawberries and blood wafting around me. “You corrupted me, and now you’re going to die by the hand of the demo
n you created,” I cry with pain not related to my injuries but the hurt that has been buried so long and just now pulling itself from the grave. He reaches for the corkscrew that fell out of the box that’s just feet away, and I topple over him to get it first.
Reaching it before him, I place the screw between my fingers and slam it into his neck. It doesn’t lodge all the way so I twist it into his skin and blood sprays with every spin of my wrist. He screams, and bucks beneath me as I dig the corkscrew into his main artery. Hooking my legs around him I ride him like a fucking bull, taking his life with a goddamn smile on my face. Accepting my past, my future, the now. I’m killing the nightmare that lingers in every little girl’s head, and destroying the master behind the monster that lingers under their bed.
Gritting my teeth, a dark rush envelopes my soul. Nurture vs nature losing.
Blood sprays over my uniform as I twist the cork all the way in. Crimson painting a canvas of life on my chest. I scream and roar like an animal, tears slipping from my eyes as I take Black Hat’s life.
He goes limp falling to the ground, and I release my hold on him. Straddling his back I stand on shaky legs. Blood dripping from my fingertips as I look around the hell that created me. My dad is probably rolling over in his grave right now but it was either I accept who I am, or Cross and them do this to others all over again.
Stepping over the dead body, I decide to go the way Raven went, hoping for an exit.
I should let her escape, but now that the beast is released. The reaper is on a mission, and I’m going to tear her broken soul from her chest. Taking out the trash of Vegas one criminal at a time.
This world has enough heroes. It needs a hybrid. Half hero, half villain.
Felix
Looking at the clock, I begin to get nervous. Alessandra should be back by now. It’s dark, and the station is closed for the most part. I’m going to call Gatz and see what the hold-up is.
A knock at the door takes me from my phone. “Hey man, we got problems,” Zeek says solemnly. The hairs on my neck stand on end, and I jump from my chair.
“What?”
Gatz steps into view, his face pale.
“Alessandra went into the station, and never came out,” he informs with a shaky voice.
Stomping forward I grab him by the neck and slam him up against the door with more force than I recognize.
“What the fuck do you mean she didn’t come out?”
“I went in there hours later and they said she never came in to give her statement,” he explains. Zeek grabs at my arm, trying to get me to release Gatz, but the fear in me has me tightening my grip. “You were supposed to protect her!” I yell in his face.
“I know!” he shouts back, regret deep in his voice.
I let him go, my shoulder rising and falling with rage.
Jillian pushes past the boys, her face red. “Where is she?!” She’s irate, emotional.
“I don’t know!” Gatz replies emotionally. “I’m sorry,” he hangs his head, his fingers running through his hair.
“Mac!” Jillian screams, and the babies wake in the back room from the commotion.
“Sup?” Mac asks, chewing on a straw, obviously oblivious to what is going on.
“Alessandra is missing,” I feed him in quickly.
“I’ll trace the phone!” Mac points at me. Eyeing Zeek, I step past him and follow Mac to his computer. I’m not saying this is Zeek’s fault, but I should’ve taken Alessandra to do her statement. I fucking knew it.
Mac types, clicks, and furrows his brows at a bunch of nonsense popping up on his screen.
“Hurry the fuck up!” I snap. A GPS pops up, and a little pink dot blinks almost out of the city limits. Pushing off the table I head to my room, jerk the closet door open and grab my semi-automatic.
I’m about to rain this city in blood and vengeance. I’m going to retaliate, and reign mayhem.
“Hey man, you gotta chill out bro,” Zeek says following behind me. The amount of concern in his voice annoying me. If this was Jillian, he’d already be pulling all of our men and weapons.
“Fuck you,” I growl pushing past him. He grabs my arm and pushes me up against the wall and I swing at him, but he ducks.
“If this were Jillian this wouldn’t even be up for debate. So why is Alessandra?” I yell in his face.
“It’s not, but I don’t want to see my best friend, and family killed because he’s so fucking distracted!” he screams back.
I take a breath, knowing he’s coming from a good place. Scratching my temple with my gun, I eye him.
“I’m not distracted, just the opposite, brother,” I tell him firmly.
Stomping through the clubhouse I make my way to my bike, my only mission is saving Black Bird.
“I’m coming with you, brother,” Machete says, pulling the chamber back on his gun, and stuffing his belt with his machete.
“You need to go with him, Zeek!” Jillian shoves him with teary eyes. He glares at her. “Of course I’m fucking going,” he snaps at her. “I just want everyone to have a clear fucking head. We don’t know what we’re walking into,” he informs, obviously the more level-headed one right now.
Jillian steps in front of me, and just as I’m about to push her out of my way she grabs my cut with force. Her blond hair falling in her face as she stares at me with wide eyes.
“Bring her back. Alive!” she cries.
CHAPTER TEN
Alessandra
FINDING RUSTING METAL STAIRS, I take them one at a time. I feel confused, lost, out of my body as I find the door at the top. Using my shoulder, I push it over and the desert wind kicks up my matted hair. My side is bleeding and burning from the ripped stitches, wrestling with Black Hat they must have torn.
Climbing out I see Raven just ahead walking into the desert as if she is just as lost as I am. Where do we belong? Where do we go from here?
“Raven!” I scream, but she doesn’t stop. She just continues to walk in a haze.
Wind slips past the bloody material of my uniform, and I feel misplaced wearing it. I don’t deserve it. I am not a cop. My family is not real, my life was not real. Everything was a lie, a façade of what I really was. I wasn’t living until just now.
I kick my boots off, as I walk into the night. I unbutton my pants and then my shirt. Letting the desert take them. Leaving my badge behind, my scuffed honor in the dust. The familiar roar of motorcycles sound just ahead, and my heart picks up its rhythm.
The Sin City Outlaws.
Standing there in a bloody white bra and red panties, Felix drops his bike and runs to me.
“What the fuck? Are you okay?” he asks with excitement and fear. I open my mouth to respond, but I shut it just as quickly and point at Raven who is walking into the desert. He looks over his shoulder in the direction of my hand.
“Machete, get her!” he orders and a bunch of guys go running after Raven.
“What the fuck happened, Black Bird?” He shakes out of his cut and places it over my shoulders, trying to conceal some of my bare body.
“I found out who I was. Who I am,” I explain in a haze. The things I’ve done, the pain I’ve caused others. I think I even killed a kid the same age as me.
Grabbing my face, he makes me stare him in the eyes.
“You’re mine, and that’s all you need to fucking know,” he snaps. He fully comes into view, everything else starting to dissipate as I take in what he just said. I’m his.
I’m not Brown 5. I have a home. I just had to relive my nightmare to realize it was with the Outlaws.
Felix
Lying in bed, I watch Alessandra stare at the wall. My body against hers she won’t let me up to even piss. I saw what she did to that man in that fucking dungeon, and it scares me to see what exactly she is capable of. This is why I didn’t want to tell her about her past, look at her. She is fucking lost, her demons battling the light inside of her. She doesn’t know where to go from here, and I don’t know how to help
. I’ve accepted my hell, my life. She hasn’t.
I wanted to rip the badge from her chest when I met her, but seeing her like this makes me glad it wasn’t me who did that.
“Alessandra, talk to me,” I tell her. She rolls over, looking at me with sad eyes.
“Where do I go from here?” she whispers.
“Wherever you want,” I shrug.
“I’m a bad person. I did bad things,” she mutters, running the nail of her finger along my collarbone. Her tone emotionless; numb.
“Then we have more in common than before.” I cup her hand, and her eyes flick to mine.
“You don’t know this new me. What I’m capable of.” She shakes her head rolling onto her stomach. “What I’ve always been capable of.”
My eyes fall on her scar of X, the one that Cross branded her with no doubt. She can always get a tattoo if she wants, it will cover it up. But if I know her like I think I do, she won’t cover it up. She’ll keep it as a reminder of what she’s been through.
Running my finger along it I inhale a deep breath.
“Scars and memories remind us where we’ve been, babe, but they don’t dictate where we’re going,” I tell her. It’s something Carola has told me on my darkest days.
“I’ve always been on the side of the convicts then the side of the law. I’ve shot suspects and liked the way it made me feel; powerful. When I smell blood, I can’t help but inhale it like someone would a bouquet of flowers, rather than look away in disgust. I never knew why, but I do now,” she sobs, her voice cracking with raw emotions. Watching a girl become a woman right before me is something that no man can describe. The fairy tale her father sold her dimensioning to reality. It’s breathtaking, majestic, and makes me fucking want to own her every breath and beat of her heart.
Her eyes search mine, a moment of silence speaking louder than anything we have to say to each other.
