At eight o’clock I called Kareem and Quincy and told them I was on my way. Since Desmon fell asleep while I was there, I had a chance to have sex with Ginger before I left. She cried the whole time. Said she had a bad feeling about tonight and made me promise to call her when I got home. As I headed out the door, she pulled me by the arm.
“Baby, please just let it go. I know I’m asking a lot but what about your son? What if—”
I placed my fingers on her lips. “Shh, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you. You worry too much. It’ll all be over with tomorrow. I’ll call you tonight when I get in.”
Ginger walked me out to my car and continued begging me not to do it. Feeling as if I wanted to change my mind, I drove off knowing that I couldn’t.
On the drive home, I talked to Daddy silently in the car. I explained to him how different it was going to be for me this time because I had someone in my life to live for: Desmon. I swore I heard his voice telling me not to do it, but I wouldn’t listen. I reminded him if it hadn’t been for him I wouldn’t even exist. There would be no Desmon and I wouldn’t have the finer things in life I’d always dreamed of having. I also reminded him of how much he warned me about Donovan, and always taught me not to let anyone step on his family and shatter his legacy. Knowing that he left it up to me to carry on, Donovan had to die tonight. No questions about it.
Kareem and Quincy were standing outside waiting for me when I pulled up. A car they’d gotten from Al’s was parked behind the house, so we drove that instead of mine.
As we neared Donovan’s place, I called his crib to see if he was there. When he answered, I told him I found some clothes of his in the basement and was on my way to bring them to him since I was close by. I told him that when I got closer, I would call so he could come to the car to get them.
When we parked in front of the house, I called Donovan again and he said he’d be right out. Kareem and Quincy seemed relaxed in the back seat, but I sat, tapping on the steering wheel with my fingers, thinking about the consequences.
Donovan finally came out of the house jogging down the steps with his hands in his pockets. I unlocked the door for him and he opened it, then leaned down looking into the car.
“Get in,” I said.
He sat in the car and closed the door behind him. He turned around and looked at Kareem and Quincy. “How you brothas doing? I didn’t know y’all were coming to see me too.” He smiled. Kareem and Quincy didn’t say a word. Donovan looked over at me. “They ain’t speaking to me?”
I put my foot on the accelerator. “You in the mood to go for a ride?”
“Not really, but I guess I have no choice since you’re already driving off.”
I pulled down an alley around the corner from Donovan’s house and parked the car. When I turned off the headlights, I could see his hands shaking. I looked over at him. “Do you remember our conversation a few weeks ago?”
“Yeah, I remember. Remember well.”
“Well, my connections came through for me.” I handed him the pictures. “You remember those niggas, don’t you?”
He nodded his head looking through the pictures. “Yep, I remember them.”
“I thought you said you had no dealings with them.”
“I didn’t. I saw them at the club a few times and hopped in the pictures with them. They knew I was down with y’all, man. Besides, pictures don’t prove a damn thing.”
“They prove to me that you’re a lying-ass nigga,” Kareem said whistling, putting some bullets into his gun.
Donovan looked back at Kareem and smiled. Then he turned around and quickly opened the car door and rolled to the ground. By the time he got up and started running, Kareem pointed the gun out the window and pulled the trigger. One bullet grazed Donovan’s side, and the other two missed since he was running so fast. Quincy, being the fast runner that he is, got out and ran after him. Knowing that there was no way for Donovan to swindle his ass out of this one, I slowly drove down the alley. I pulled the car over when I saw Quincy kicking the shit out of Donovan where the gunshot wound was. Kareem and me got out of the car.
“I would have shot his ass but I didn’t want to take the pleasure away from the two of you,” Quincy said, taking deep breaths and kicking Donovan in his stomach while he was on his knees bending over.
“Kiley, please, man,” Donovan begged. “You gotta hear me out when I tell you I had nothing to do with it.”
“I believe you, Donovan. But do yourself a favor,” I slid my gun over to him. “Take your life anyway. Might as well, ’cause thing is, even though I believe you, Kareem don’t.”
Donovan picked up my gun and placed it against his head. He looked at Kareem, “I would have never had Papa Abrams killed, man. You gotta believe me!”
“Shut up talking to me, fool, and pull the trigger,” Kareem said, aiming his gun at Donovan’s chest.
Donovan took a deep breath, quickly turned the gun on Kareem and fired. As he shot blanks, Kareem fired four bullets right into his chest. Blood splattered and his body fell forward. I kicked my gun away from his hands, picked it up, and we got in the car and left.
There was silence on the way home. When we got in, we all went into our rooms, closed the doors, and didn’t come out until morning. There was nothing to talk about when shit had to go down the way it did. But it had to be done, and I had no regrets. Still, I felt ill inside. Wanted to throw the fuck up, and scream at the top of my fucking lungs. I hated to be betrayed. I hated backstabbing niggas; Donovan was just that. There was no way, whatsoever, that I could let him off the hook. He’d fucked up too many times. Regardless, this shit hurt. It stung. Stung so bad that I had to shed some tears. I smacked them away, especially when I thought of my father. And while thinking of him, I couldn’t help but nod my head and feel as if I’d done the right thing.
I started to fade, and as I drifted off into a deep sleep, the ringing phone awakened me. I snatched it up and held it close to my ear.
“Why didn’t you call me?” Ginger asked.
“I’m fine,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “Can I call you back though?”
“Take all the time you need. I just wanted to be sure you were okay.”
“Thanks for checking on me. Kiss Desmon for me and I’ll get at you later.”
Ginger told me she loved me and hung up. I appreciated her words, but at this time, love didn’t mean shit to me.
CHAPTER 15
For the next couple of weeks, I stayed cooped up in my room. The only time I came out was to get something to eat or to talk to the fellas for a minute or two. Things seemed back to normal for them; they were already running the streets, going to the clubs, and entertaining females. I just wasn’t quite ready for that yet. My mood was calm, but I was paranoid as hell. Definitely couldn’t find it in my heart to trust anyone else again. I stayed up many of nights, trying not to fall asleep, in fear of having nightmares that I often had when murder was on the mind.
It took me another two weeks just to get out and go see Ginger and Desmon. And the only reason I did that was because she had the flu and said she needed a break from him. She sounded a mess over the phone, and when I got to her place, she looked even worse. The whole time I was there, she stayed under the covers. I tried to climb in bed with her, but she insisted she wanted to be alone.
Respecting her wishes, I took Desmon home with me and let her get some rest. By now, he was getting used to being with me and was getting into everything around the house. My nerves were kinda bad and I found myself yelling at him for every li’l thing he did. After I took a chill pill, I cooled out. We played with the pinball machines and video games, and sat around watching movies all day until I got tired.
I’d fallen asleep with Desmon, and when he woke me up and told me the doorbell was ringing, I looked at the monitor and saw Candi standing outside on the porch.
Upset about her sudden visit, I rushed to the door and opened it. I released a deep sigh with a frown displayed on my f
ace. “Look, baby, I’m really busy right now. Can you come back later?”
“Looks to me like you’ve been sleeping,” she said boldly walking into the house. “I just came by to find out why you haven’t called me. I’d say you owe me an explanation, wouldn’t you?”
I slammed the door then grabbed her arm as she proceeded to walk toward the living room. “Didn’t you hear what I said? I would like to be alone right now.”
Candi snatched away from my tight grip then massaged her arm. “You don’t have to be so rough. I just came by to see how you were doing. Is that a crime?”
I gazed at Candi, who I suspected was there to do me no harm. Being on edge had me this way, and maybe it was a good thing that she was here. “No, it’s not a crime, and I apologize for the attitude. I’m upstairs chilling. Follow me.”
When we got upstairs, Candi saw Desmon sitting on the couch and she sat next to him. “Kiley, he is so cute. What’s your name, sweetie?”
“Desmon Jermaine Abrams,” he said, looking at her and kicking his feet against the couch.
“Desmon,” I said. “Do Daddy a favor and go to my room and put your pajamas on. I’ll be down in a minute to tuck you in bed.” I held my arms out and he gave me a hug.
“I didn’t know you had your son today, Kiley. I can come back if you want me to.”
“You really should have called first, Candi. You just never know who I might be entertaining.”
“Sorry, but every time I stop by you don’t ever have any company. It would really surprise me if you are seeing someone else. And if you are, I know it’s not anything serious.”
“Well, you’re right about that. I don’t get serious anymore.”
“That’s your choice, but are you at least having sex with anyone? I mean, since you ain’t having it with me, are you giving it up to anybody?”
I leaned back on the couch and looked at my dick that had been deprived for almost three weeks. I touched it and looked at Candi. “Who I have sex with ain’t your business. Let’s just say I don’t suffer without it unless I choose to.”
I wanted to fuck Candi, no doubt, but there was something about her that sent off bad vibes. Then again, maybe it was just me. There were very few people who I trusted, and it was imperative for me to watch my back. In order for me to calm down my dick, I excused myself from our conversation then went downstairs to check on Desmon. If my dick was still hard when I returned, then maybe it was time for me to handle the ongoing urge I had of being inside of Candi.
Desmon was sitting up in bed flipping through the channels with the remote.
“What you doing?” I asked then sat on the bed.
“Trying to find something to watch.” He rubbed his eyes. “But I’m getting sleepy now.”
He laid the remote down then yawned. I kissed him on the forehead, turned down the lights, and then went back upstairs to finish my business with Candi. She looked bored as she remained on the couch with her legs crossed, displaying a fake smile.
“Would you like something to drink?” I asked, and then walked over to the kitchen to get myself a beer out of the fridge.
She turned around on the couch. “Yes. I’ll have what you’re having. If it’s a beer, I’ll take a light one, please.”
I got Candi a Bud Light then handed it to her. I sat on the couch and picked up a joint Kareem or Quincy must have already rolled up sitting on the table. I lit it then passed it to Candi.
“No, thanks. I don’t do drugs.”
“Why not? It’s only marijuana. Relaxes the fuck out of you when need be.”
“I usually have sex when I need to relax. And trust me, weed is doing more to your mind than just relaxing it.”
I took several hits from the joint and kept smiling at her. Then I picked up my beer and eased over next to her on the couch. I put the tip of the joint out with my finger, laid it in the ashtray, and looked at her. “I need to know what’s up with you. I play you off, treat you like shit, and you still coming by. The same routine been going on for months. Most women would have told me to go fuck myself. What’s your purpose?”
“Oh, trust me, I’ve thought about telling you to go fuck yourself many times. And your question is a good one because I was wondering why I put up with your shit myself. The only conclusion I can come up with is I guess I just don’t give up that easily. Not only that, I think the wait is going to be worth it. So, you keep acting funny all you want to. I’m not giving up until I get what I came here for.”
“And what’s that?”
“You.”
“I don’t come that easy.”
“Who you telling? I already figured that out. And since you don’t, that’s what drives me.”
“So, you like a challenge?”
“Love it. It’s what I live for.”
Candi lifted up her legs and laid them across mine. I scooted back on the couch and she hiked up her dress and straddled my lap.
“Are we finally getting ready to do this?” I asked, looking up at her while holding her hips.
She leaned forward and whispered, “Why keep putting it off until tomorrow when you can for damn sure have it your way today?”
We started kissing, and when the phone started ringing, I ignored it. This time, there were going to be no interruptions. I dimmed the lights, took off my boxers, and stood in the middle of the floor with my jewels in my hand, looking at her. She smiled, and before coming my way, she slid her black dress over her head. After kicking her heels over to the side, she stood naked across the room. She parted her hair with her fingers and moved it away from her face so I could see her.
“Are you coming over here, or must I walk all the way over there?” she asked with her hands on her hips.
“Naw, I thought you were coming over here to get it. You’ve come this far, so a few more steps ain’t going to hurt you.”
“Oooo, so unfair. You can meet me halfway, can’t you?”
I stepped forward until I was face to face with her. I moved her back to the wall behind her and pressed myself against her. I rolled my tongue up and down the side of her neck, then I held her breasts and sucked. As I felt her body trembling, I lifted her up, leaving her against the wall, and rested her thighs on my shoulders.
She looked down at me, as her hair draped down the sides of her face and snickered. “I hope like hell you got me,” she said, holding my head.
“Just relax. I promise I won’t let you fall.”
I leaned in forward, moved her cushiony soft hairs away from her goodness with my tongue, and went deep inside her. As I vibrated her clit with my mouth, she rubbed my head and let out soft moans. And as soon as I started to get more into it, I heard Kareem and Quincy coming up the steps talking. I stopped and looked up at Candi. She whispered for me to put her down, but I shook my head. As they came into the room laughing, I looked over at them and smiled.
“Say, do you brothas think I can have a li’l privacy?” I asked.
Kareem covered his mouth. “Damn, big brother. Let me get out of here and let you get back to business. Sorry for the interruption,” he said, looking at Candi.
Quincy cleared his throat. “We just gon’, uh, leave. Right now, so, y’all have y’all selves a good time.”
They walked slowly out of the room, and when they got to the steps they ran down them yelling and laughing like complete fools.
I looked back up at Candi. “Sorry about that. I didn’t think they were coming back this soon.” I slid her down to my hips and she wrapped her legs around me.
She held on to my neck and looked me in the eyes. “I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life. Knowing them, they’re going to talk about this forever.”
I nodded. “Yeah, no doubt about it, they most certainly are. We can try this another time if you’d like.”
“No, no, no. It took me this long to get you and I’m not about to let you go that easily. Put me back where I belong.”
“Naw, I got a better idea. How about I
put my package where it belongs?”
“That sounds even better.”
Candi continued holding on to me with her legs around my waist. I eased myself inside of her while holding her against the wall, and taking deep strokes. As I found myself getting so into it, I moved away from the wall and stood with my arms holding her legs, pounding her body against mine. She was enjoying every bit of my loving. Had already come once, and by the warm feeling on my dick, I knew there wasn’t nothing fake about it. I walked her over to the couch, laid her on her stomach, and straddled her with one leg resting on the floor. Before I went in, I took a look at her from behind and could only think about how lucky I was. I hoped that nigga Donovan was looking up at me from hell, ’cause one man’s trash was definitely another man’s treasure. I slid my goodness inside her again and took deep, fast strokes to make her come again. Shivering, she cried out, closed her eyes, and gripped the couch with her fingernails.
Soon, she fell to the floor then turned to her side looking at me next to her, smiling. “There has to be a word better than satisfied, isn’t there?”
“Sure, there’s plenty. There’s pleased, fulfilled, gratified, mollified, content; take your pick.”
“I like overly pleased. More pleased than I’ve ever been in my entire damn life.”
I kissed her and got up off the floor. I smacked her ass to watch it jiggle then helped her up. “Damn, that ass is soft,” I complimented her.
“But that hurt. You didn’t have to smack it so hard, did you?”
I wrapped my arms around her. “Sorry. You know I wouldn’t do nothing to hurt you.”
“I hope not. And you know I wouldn’t either.”
I lay back on the couch and Candi rested in between my legs. As I combed through her hair with my fingers, I kissed her forehead.
“And what’s that for?” she asked, rubbing my legs.
“It’s for helping me relieve some of this stress I’ve been feeling lately.”
“I’m glad I can be of assistance. You’ve been kind of distant lately. My purpose was to come over here and cheer you up.”
How Can I Be Down? Page 19
