by Kelli Kimble
I looked up sharply from my sandwich. “Helped whom?”
“Your families. They made it seem like they’d killed your families. Actually, it was my dad who did that. He was supposed to kill them, but he didn’t. He let them go, sent them out of the city, and when he finally had the opportunity you gave him, he escaped from the city, too.”
I tamped down the little seedling of hope that sprang up in my throat. My parents weren’t alive. This was just another manipulation, just another game. He was messing with me. I prompted, “And you didn’t go because . . .?”
“I was young and arrogant. I thought I could solve all the city’s problems if I just saw my training through. A part of me wanted to leave; you bet. I was enduring a lot of physical discomfort to form my abilities. But they’d messed with my head. I believed all their propaganda. I thought my dad was running away like a wounded animal. I thought he didn’t have any pride.”
“You’re still young,” I said. “Still arrogant.”
“That’s why you’re here,” he said. “I think you can save me from myself. You saved my dad, and I think you can save me, too.” He turned back to me, and his eyes were shining. I pretended not to notice. “Look. This is a big deal. I know I’m asking you to put a lot of trust in me, and I haven’t been very trustworthy. I’m going to do something for you, and when it’s done, if you don’t want to help me, that’s fine. I’ll walk away and leave you alone. I promise.”
“What’re you going to do for me?”
“I’m going to take you to your parents.”
I inhaled a chunk of sandwich. I coughed and gagged, trying to get it out of my windpipe. Thanos came up behind me and whacked me on the back. I picked up the glass, but it was empty. He rushed to the kitchen to refill it. By the time he’d returned, I’d mostly gotten my coughing under control.
“You’re taking me to my parents?” I repeated, as if I hadn’t spent the last ten minutes gagging.
“Yes,” he said. “I know where they are. Roughly, anyway. My dad left a map with me when he fled the city.”
“And you know searchers haven’t found them?”
“No. I’ve never tried to find them before, but I think I can. I think it’s worth a shot, don’t you?”
I nodded. It was worth a shot – if he was telling the truth, and if they hadn’t moved from the location Thanos’ dad had given him five years ago, and if they had managed to survive the elements on their own. That was a lot of ifs.
“How would we start?” I asked.
His eyes lit up, and he practically jumped across the room to stand next to me. He grabbed hold of my wrist and squeezed. “Do you mean it? You’ll help me?”
I jerked my wrist back from him. “No, I didn’t say that. I asked how we would start. You know, where do we begin looking?”
His face clouded with disappointment. “I have a little hand-drawn map from my dad,” he said.
“Can I see it?”
He shook his head. “If I show it to you, then you won’t need me. We’re going to do this together or not at all – and when we’re done, we’ll take over the city together or not at all. That’s the deal.” He thrust out his hand. “Do you agree to the deal?”
I started to reach for his hand but paused in mid-air. “Just so I understand, I can decide later if we take over the city, right? By committing to finding our families, I’m not committing to taking over the city. Two entirely different things.”
He nodded, the eager light starting to come back into his eyes. “Right. Two totally different things. I reserve the right to spend a lot of time trying to convince you, though.”
“I’m sure you do,” I said. I put my hand in his and shook it. A zing went up my arm, as if I’d touched something metal. “Ow,” I said, pulling my hand away and shaking it. “What was that?”
As I said it, a buzzing filled my inner ear. I shook my head, and when it cleared, I could feel Thanos with my senses. “Were you . . . were you blocking me before? I can feel you now,” I said.
He nodded. “Now that we’re working together, I have to trust you.” The sensation of him trying to intrude into my mind passed over me. “And you trust me, right?”
“No,” I said. “You haven’t done a single thing to earn my trust.”
“But we’re going to work together.”
“Right. Future tense. So far, you’ve killed my surrogate father, ripped me from my home and loved ones, and tried to make me believe you wanted to torture me. When do you think you earned my trust?”
He had the good grace to blush. “All right, then.”
The prodding in my brain faded. But I could still feel him sitting there, even with my eyes closed.
Chapter 7
We left under cover of darkness the next day, right before sunrise. We left the city by going through the slums, which were larger than before. Nobody stopped us or even looked at us, but it didn’t matter; Thanos had shifted our appearances so that we didn’t look anything like ourselves. He’d dressed us in raggedy clothing, like the people we passed wore – except they didn’t smell, which was good because the slums smelled bad.
“We’ll be able to help these people,” Thanos said to me as we passed a man who was violently coughing into a paper bag.
I didn’t answer. The predicament these people were in had come about from people like Thanos. People with chips, who had rights, and lives the people here couldn’t hope to imagine. Some of them probably had been like Thanos. Then, they’d lost their health and couldn’t work, or there were those among them who’d made a costly mistake in their lives, something that went against the grain of society. People who had always been low in the eyes of the city weren’t the only occupants of the slums.
We reached the edges and drifted into the woods beyond. The fence that had been there when I was growing up was gone.
When we’d gone a few miles from the city, Thanos encased us in the bubble and drifted us into the air. I could’ve easily carried myself, but he seemed to enjoy it.
We went south, towards a place Thanos called “the large canyon”. The weather was already turning worse than it had been when we’d arrived back in the city. Most of the trees had dropped their leaves, and when I put my palm against the bubble, it was frigid.
With just the two of us to carry, we went a lot faster than we had with Ord, and by nightfall, we came to the canyon. Thanos set us down and released the bubble. The change in temperature took my breath away. Thankfully, though, Thanos had provided us with warm clothing, something the people back at my settlement didn’t really have. I pressed down thoughts of them for the millionth time. I had to find my parents if they were still alive. There was nothing I could do to help Tabby and Silver’s group.
“Maybe it’d be warmer if we set up a campsite inside the canyon,” Thanos suggested. “Out of the wind.”
I nodded. This time, I didn’t wait for him to carry me. I jumped over the edge of the canyon and drifted down to a flat area, near a river cutting through the bottom. Ice was forming at the edges of the water, despite its strong current. Thanos settled beside me, and he began to set up his shelter. I set down my pack and began to build a small fire ring from the loose rocks laying around. When I had a fire going, I set up my own shelter.
Thanos produced some beef jerky, and we sat beside the fire to eat it. “This is bigger than I thought it would be,” he said. “It’s not going to be easy to find them.”
“Of course not,” I said. “They don’t want to be found.”
“My dad does. He wouldn’t have given me the map if he didn’t want me to find him.”
I ate the rest of my jerky in silence and washed it down with what was left in my canteen. “I’m going down to the river to fill up,” I said.
The water was iced over at the edge, and I had to break through it with my boot before I could fill up. I was glad it didn’t take long to fill my canteen. I glanced around at the walls of the canyon. The colors were brilliant in the setting sun
, and I took a second to marvel at how beautiful it was. It filled my heart to think my parents might be in such a beautiful place.
A wind whipped through the canyon, and I wrapped my arms around myself. We’d thought the canyon would protect us, but it was so deep and so wide, it seemed to have its own weather system. It wasn’t any warmer than it had been above it.
I returned to the campfire. I could sense Thanos in his shelter, and I retreated to mine, as well.
We were closer to finding what I wanted.
What was I going to do when it was time to decide whether I would go along with what he wanted, too?
◆◆◆
The call of a hawk woke me the next morning. I dressed and emerged from my shelter. There was no sign of Thanos, so I reached out to sense him, but he wasn’t near. I went down to the water’s edge, and after breaking through the ice again, I splashed a little water on my face. It cleared my head, and I imagined my senses reaching out to find him. It didn’t take long; he’d gone further south in the canyon.
I grabbed my canteen and a few provisions, stuffed them into my pack, and followed the direction he’d gone. My footsteps echoed around me even over the roar of the water, which was a little disconcerting. It felt like a million eyes were on me – though I could only feel Thanos’ presence, and a few small animals here and there.
Thanos was sitting next to the river when I found him. If it had been a seasonably warm day, he would have had his boots off, and his toes dipped into the water, but instead, he sat with his knees bent, and his arms wrapped around his legs, hugged into a little ball.
“Do you mind?” I asked, gesturing towards the ground beside him.
He nodded towards the spot but didn’t answer.
I sat and followed his gaze. The canyon stretched ahead of us, easily miles long. “How big is this canyon?” I asked.
His cheeks flushed. “It’s over 300 miles long and 25 miles wide at some points.”
The magnitude of the effort it would take to search such an area overwhelmed me. My mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out.
He glanced at me. “I looked it up before we left. I’d hoped it was an exaggeration, but now that we’re here . . . it’s not.”
A prick of stubbornness prodded me to stand. I held out my hand to him. “It’s not going to search itself,” I said. “If they’re here, we’ll find them.”
“But what if they aren’t here anymore? Finding any kind of sign of them or where they went . . . that’s going to be impossible.”
“I guess we just have to hope they haven’t left, then.”
He grabbed my hand and let me help him up. He didn’t let go, though. “I’m sorry. I really thought it would be easier than this. I should’ve known my dad was smart enough to go somewhere he’d be difficult to find.”
I shook off his grip as gently as I could. “We can’t worry about that now. We’ve got to focus.”
He nodded, grasping the straps of his pack. “Right. Focus.” He turned in the direction he’d been looking. “I think we should pack up. Take everything and follow the entire length of the canyon. If we haven’t found anything by the end, we’ll turn around and come back on one of the ridges. Maybe a difference in perspective would help.” He gestured with his hands as he talked, and when he was done, he turned to me and rocked back on his heels. “What do you think?”
“All right,” I said, “but why not get that difference in perspective from the start? There’s two of us. One high, one low.”
“Yeah. That’s good.” He smiled. “I already feel a little better. I’m so glad you’re here, Nimisila.”
We packed up and started on our way. The wind whipped up and down the canyon, making it hard to walk. Thanos sent me up to the ridge so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the harsh wind at the bottom of the canyon.
We stayed mostly in sight of each other, and I always kept a thread of thought trained on his location. It seemed a little irrational, but I worried he would leave me out here – not that I couldn’t take care of myself, but I didn’t want to be on my own in that lonely place.
At times, the canyon branched off in more than one direction. We decided to follow the direction of the river flowing at the bottom, rather than following what appeared to be minor iterations of the canyon, but at times, it was difficult to tell which way the primary canyon was. It didn’t matter, though. We’d likely have to search it all if we didn’t find our families.
At nightfall, Thanos came up to the ridge, so we could camp together. He built a fire, and we ate the provisions he’d brought. He was silent most of the time, and I didn’t prod him to speak. I was a little worried I might become attached to him, and I’d relent and agree to take over the city just because he was a friend – but this so-called “friend” had left my adopted family and Red to die. That was the hardest part to reconcile.
I studied his profile when he was looking away. He seemed to genuinely want to help me find my family – or maybe he just wanted to find his father. I sensed he had something he wanted to say to his dad. Obviously, he regretted having snubbed his father’s efforts to save him, but if he hadn’t done that, would he have all his abilities now?
The jerky I’d been chewing on suddenly seemed dry, and it lodged in my throat when I swallowed it. I gulped down some water. “How’re you feeling?” I asked, after I’d managed to clear my throat.
“Tired,” he answered.
I’d noticed when he was feeling down, he preferred to speak telepathically. “Don’t worry,” I said. “It’s only the first day. We’ve got a lot more ground to cover.”
“Mm-hm.” He was staring into the fire.
“I guess I’m going to turn in, then. Tomorrow will probably be more of the same.” I retreated to my shelter. I was just zipping it shut when there was a horrible cracking sound, followed by an immense rumble. I felt like I was being shaken in a jar. I jumped back out of the shelter.
Not really comprehending what I was looking at, I jumped into the air and floated above the ground, which felt doubly strange, because as I propelled myself upwards, the ground was simultaneously falling away from me downwards. A great plume of dirt and dust was rising to meet me, and I floated farther up, trying to understand what had happened. It appeared as if the canyon ridge where we’d been camping had collapsed and fallen into the canyon itself.
I felt for Thanos to ask if he’d seen it happen, but I was surprised to find the mental pin I’d stuck into his presence had worked itself free. He wasn’t there. I expanded my senses, looking for him farther away; first, at the bottom of the canyon, and then our surrounding area.
Where was he?
I began to worry he hadn’t reacted in time, and he’d fallen into the canyon to be crushed by gravity or debris. “Thanos!” I yelled as loudly as I could. “Can you hear me?!”
There was no answer.
The only place he really could’ve gone if he’d been caught in the landslide was the bottom of the canyon. I descended, calling for him both mentally and verbally, as well as constantly scanning for his mental signature.
There was nothing. Just an enormous amount of choking dust. I pulled the collar of my shirt up to cover my face from the nose down, but I could still feel bits of grit in my mouth.
My feet hit the bottom, and I began to mentally yank large chunks of rock away, looking for anything that could be him. I flung them behind me, not caring where they landed. I heard one splash into the river, and another crash against the opposite wall and bounce down.
I started to get frantic and careless, and the rocks were flying all over the place when I heard a tiny voice shout, “Hey!”
I stopped and stood motionlessly while I stretched out, looking for who or what had made the sound, but there didn’t seem to be anybody there. Maybe I wasn’t alone. Could I have imagined the sound? It was possible. It had been a long day, and I was tired; add the stress of the canyon collapse, and the fear of being alone . . . my subconscious could’ve easil
y conjured up a voice to make me feel less lonesome.
I went back to digging – though with a lot more caution than before. The light was fading, and I knew I wasn’t going to find Thanos. He was either dead from the fall, or he was hiding from me again. I wasn’t sure which was the more uncomfortable option.
Tired, I sat on a rock I’d flung off to the side and thought about what to do. I was alone. I no longer had shelter or provisions. In truth, I had only the clothes on my back because I hadn’t been wearing my pack or holding anything useful when I’d jumped from the shelter. That was not good. I knew when it got completely dark, the temperature would plummet, and at the bottom, the wind would likely make me feel much colder than I already did. It seemed like it would be best if I went back to the top and lit a new fire, far from the canyon edge; only a fire would get me through the night.
I imagined jumping up to the top of the canyon wall, and as I did it, I looked down. The shadow of a person crouching caught the corner of my eye as I ascended.
I dropped to the ground instead. “Hello?” I asked. “Is someone there? Thanos?”
Nobody answered. I couldn’t feel anybody there, but I’d seen someone, and I’d heard someone. Surely, my brain couldn’t trick me into believing both things were figments of my imagination.
“I know you’re there,” I said. I waited a few beats, and then imagined the area illuminating in great sparks of light that swirled from me and fell into the backdrop of the canyon.
To my right, something moved, and I turned towards it. “I don’t mean any harm,” I said. “I’m looking for my family. My name’s Nimisila.”
A scrawny and extremely dirty girl emerged from the darkness, crouching as she approached.
“Um, hello?” I said. “Hi, I’m Nimisila. I’m looking for my parents. I think they came here with the father of a friend of mine.”
“Nimisila?” she repeated my name in my head. So, she had a chip; she was from the city.
“Yes, that’s my name. Don’t be afraid; I don’t want to hurt you.” I said.
