Andrew sighed. ‘Okay. But don’t you go anywhere. See how many cones you can find.’
‘Sorry to disturb you.’
Oh…God! It was bad enough to have her unwilling landlord turn up in her back garden when she was wearing her dirty jodhpurs and ancient gumboots and a tattered old woollen jersey, but why did he have to pick the precise moment she was pegging out her underwear? At least it was her best pair of knickers—the silky ones that had a nice bit of lace at the top.
He was staring at the small item of clothing and, to his credit, he looked discomfited when he recognised what it was.
‘Ah…’ Andrew cleared his throat and looked away, but his gaze raked hers on the way and Alice had the impression that he’d been imagining her wearing those knickers.
‘I’m almost done.’ Alice dived for the last item in her basket. Dammit! It was the bra that matched those knickers. Andrew was looking into the basket as well now. If she just left the bra there, he’d know she was embarrassed and he might guess that the reason for that embarrassment was her awareness of him. Her resolve to keep that awareness totally hidden had to be found and acted on.
Easy, really, if you thought of it the same way as doing something you knew would be embarrassing for a patient. Alice simply had to be matter-of-fact. Brisk and competent. As though she was so used to doing this that it failed to register.
‘I know it’s a funny time of day to be hanging out washing,’ she admitted breezily as she fished for a peg, ‘but I leave for work at 6:00 a.m. and it’s too dark in the mornings, now.’
‘It is quite a drive into town. What made you want to live this far out?’
‘You bought this place without setting foot on it, didn’t you?’
‘I sent an agent to check it out.’
‘And that was enough?’
‘The pictures were pretty compelling, I have to say.’
‘Hmm.’ Alice picked up the wooden pole with a deep groove in the top. She put the rope of the clothes line into the groove and then walked forward, straightening the pole and lifting the line high enough to clear the barrier it had made between herself and Andrew. ‘That would have been enough to catch the magic,’ she agreed. ‘I came out to visit Mandy and fell in love.’
Oh, Lord! Why had she used that particular phrase? Even if she wanted to convey how important it was for her to stay here, the words were inappropriate. Too personal. Possibly too revealing. Alice looked away in a quiet plea for distraction and there it was. She waved at Emmy. Jake left his position beside the tin that held the clothes pegs and moved towards the small figure, his tail waving in a friendly greeting.
‘Looks like you’re getting a good supply of pine cones.’
‘Yes.’ Andrew looked back at his daughter and frowned. ‘Is that dog safe with children?’
‘Absolutely.’
Andrew was still frowning. ‘Emmy wanted me to come and talk to you. She’s dead set on visiting your horse again.’
‘Ben.’
‘Yes…Ben.’ Andrew wasn’t meeting her gaze now and Alice found herself smiling inwardly. Maybe it was his turn to feel embarrassed. But then he did meet her eyes and any intention Alice had of keeping this brisk and impersonal went out the window. She couldn’t look away and the contact went on just that bit too long. Long enough for questions to be formed on both sides. Questions she was determined not to ask that needed answers she was certainly not about to supply. She had to find a way of creating a safe distance here.
‘You don’t want her to.’
‘Sorry?’ Andrew appeared to have lost the thread of their conversation.
‘You don’t want Emmy visiting Ben.’
‘No, I don’t think I do.’
‘Because you think he’s dangerous? I can assure you he’s not. He’s the most—’
Andrew was shaking his head. ‘That’s not the reason.’
‘What is?’
He took another quick glance over his shoulder and Alice followed his line of vision. The wheelbarrow was apparently full and Emmy was crouched beside it, her arms around Jake as she hugged the dog. It was dark enough to be harder to see the little girl now except that her hair shone like a halo.
Andrew turned back. ‘As you can see, Emmy forms attachments easily. She adores animals and…’ he seemed to be scowling at Alice now ‘…she seems to have taken a fancy to you. She thinks you’re a princess in disguise or something.’
Alice smiled. ‘She’s a cute kid.’
The smile wasn’t returned. Andrew looked away. ‘The lease on this cottage expires in three weeks and you’ll have to leave by then. Preferably sooner. I don’t want Emmy upset by your departure and the closer she gets to you and your animals, the more likely that is to happen.’
He knew the names of her pets. It was a deliberate put-down to refer to them as simply ‘animals’.
And he wanted her to be gone even before the lease had expired? Would it make any difference if he knew how impossible it was going to be to find somewhere affordable to go, never mind having to pack up her life and shift?
No. He wouldn’t care, even if he did understand. Maybe Andrew Barrett came across as caring and gentle and wonderful with his patients, but, on a personal level, Alice had clearly made a big mistake in her opinion of him and, just as clearly, any kind of friendship was not going to be an option. She drew in a careful breath.
This was it. Her salvation. She had another opportunity to flip that coin and learn to hate this man, and if she could succeed this time, then she would have no problem finding the energy and strength she needed to deal with whatever came from any association she had with him. She would escape. Find somewhere else to live and another department to work in. Another city to work in, maybe, however painful it would be to up sticks and start all over again.
Some of that pain was already setting in and it made her want to lash out. In defence of her ‘animals’ if nothing else.
‘I need longer than three weeks,’ she said. ‘It’s not easy to find rental property that allows for keeping a horse and a dog.’
‘Not my problem, I’m sorry.’ Andrew seemed to be finding her gumboots of extraordinary interest. ‘I’ve explained why I need this cottage. It’s urgent that I get a suitable childcare arrangement in place. I was late for work yesterday and I can’t expect new colleagues to keep picking up any slack.’
He finally looked up and the distance Alice could feel was far greater than when he’d first seen her in the emergency department. He was trying to get as far away as possible and he certainly wasn’t going to give an inch as far as her problems were concerned.
This was hopeless. It seemed even more hopeless when Andrew turned his back on her. The conversation was over. Her life, as she currently knew and loved it, also appeared to be over.
‘No, I don’t suppose you can.’ The words came from nowhere, filled with the pain of her own imminent loss. ‘I don’t suppose you want those new colleagues to know the details of why you’ve come here, either.’
He turned, very slowly. Even in this half light of dusk, Alice could see the way the colour left Andrew’s face.
He didn’t have to say a word. The awful allegations he’d had to face hung in the air between them. So did the fact that Alice knew about them. That she could make life very difficult for him if she chose to.
It should have been a triumphant moment, a shift in the balance of power, but instead Alice felt…mortified.
It was a horrible thing to have said. She wanted to pull the words back and she dragged in a new breath to do exactly that. To tell Andrew that she knew how absurd the suspicion had been. That she hadn’t believed a single one of those rumours.
That it didn’t matter if he evicted her or made work difficult, she would never start a new spread of poisonous gossip. In fact, she would defend him if someone else said anything.
Like she always had.
This was unbelievable.
History was repeating itself.
/> Blackmail. By a woman. God, did they all think like that? That it was morally acceptable to use whatever means it took to get what they wanted? He should have learned his lesson about trusting women by now.
‘I’m pregnant, Andy. You have to marry me.’
‘Stay with me or I won’t even go near Rehab.’
‘Keep quiet or I’ll take your daughter away and you’ll never see her again.’
Anger came from nowhere. A painfully intense shaft that made him clench a fist and raise it unconsciously as he tried to find the words he needed to tell Alice Palmer exactly what he thought of her and her threat.
He could see her taking in a breath. Opening her mouth to say something. Then he saw the expression on her face change and there was no mistaking the flash of fear.
Oh…God! Did she really think he might hit her?
His hand unclenched but still moved towards her. He needed to touch her. To apologise and wipe that fear from her eyes. But Alice wasn’t looking at him now. Her head had swivelled and she took a step away from him.
‘Jake?’ she called. ‘What’s wrong?’
Andrew could hear it now. A volley of barks coming from some distance away. Urgent barking that wasn’t stopping.
His own head moved as swiftly as Alice’s had. Looking back at the trees and the wheelbarrow to where the dog had last been seen.
To where his daughter had been.
‘Oh…no!’ The word was an agonised growl. ‘Where’s Emmy?’
CHAPTER FIVE
IT WAS hard to run in oversized rubber boots.
Andrew passed her easily but he didn’t see the rabbit hole in the dim evening light and he went sprawling, the heartfelt curse following Alice as she kept running towards the sound of her dog raising the alarm. She knew what lay in that direction.
The river.
She could hear it as she got rapidly closer. There was a shallow stretch where it tumbled swiftly over boulders before it hit the curve shaded by willow trees. There was a deep pool in that curve—a swimming hole that Alice had enjoyed using many times over the recent long, hot summer.
Jake appeared to be standing in the choppy swirl of the shallow water. He had stopped barking now and, as Alice got even closer, she could see why. He had his jaws clamped onto a piece of clothing as he held onto a small body that was no longer upright.
Oh, God! Alice charged full tilt into the river and promptly slipped on one of the smooth, wet boulders. Heedless of the painful bump to her knee and the icy water now drenching her clothes, she wrenched herself upright and staggered on.
Too late!
The current had been too much for Jake to fight and now he was bounding down river, following the shape that was Emmy, being swept towards the deep pool. Alice went after them, so fast she was already losing her balance as the water got deeper. Deep enough to swim as she fell headlong into it.
Jake was swimming too. If he hadn’t been circling at that particular point beneath the willows, Alice would have had no clue where to dive when Emmy’s head suddenly vanished.
The water was pitch-black. There were branches of willow, long enough to trail well below the surface and create both an obstacle to finding the child quickly and a dangerous trap that could entangle and drown Emmy in a very short space of time.
Somehow, Alice’s hand found something far more solid than leafy twigs. She gripped and pulled and filled her arms with the child before kicking desperately towards the surface of the pool and then downstream to when the water got shallow again. She staggered upright as soon as her feet touched the bottom.
Strong arms came around them both then, guiding them to the side and onto dry ground. For a split second they stopped moving and Alice could feel more than strength in those arms. They created a circle of protection. A place that felt so safe it took her breath away.
Or was she still holding it from that dive into the deep pool? It had all happened so fast. That moment of stillness vanished with the same speed as Andrew pulled Emmy from her arms.
Oh, dear Lord, was the little girl still breathing?
Yes. Not only breathing, Emmy was sobbing now, her arms wrapped around her father’s neck so tightly it was a wonder he could still breathe himself.
‘It’s okay, honey. Shh…you’re all right. You’re safe.’
The words were a little broken, the overload of relief so obvious it brought tears to Alice’s eyes. How many parents would have spoken in anger in the emotional backwash of something being done that shouldn’t have been done? Especially when it had led to a life-threatening situation. But these words held no hint of anger. They were pure reassurance. They were a thick cloak of comfort and a promise of protection.
This child meant everything to Andrew, didn’t she? He would have risked his own life in a heartbeat to save her. But, if it hadn’t been for Jake, this scene could well have been very, very different. Alice began to shake. She was frozen, of course, soaked with icy water, but part of her reaction was knowing how close they had come to tragedy. Jake was a hero! She turned to see her big dog vigorously shaking the water from his shaggy coat and then he looked up at his mistress, his tail waving slowly.
The tears on Alice’s face were invisible, thanks to the water still streaming from her hair. She crouched and hugged Jake. Andrew was using one hand to pull open the jacket he was wearing so he could cover Emmy but he was looking down.
‘Jake…’ His voice cracked and he stopped speaking.
Alice saw the way his eyes squeezed shut and the muscles in his face fought for control. She tried to smile, to tell him that he didn’t need to say anything. She understood.
More, she had to take part of the blame for leaving Emmy unsupervised for long enough to get into trouble. She was the one who’d pulled out the verbal trick that had been nasty enough to distract Andrew.
She couldn’t smile. Her teeth were chattering so hard she could barely speak.
‘Y-you’d…b-be-better g-get Em-my home. D-dry…’
‘Come with us,’ Andrew said. ‘I’ll have a fire going in no time. Hot soup.’
‘N-no.’ Alice shook her head, the movement jerky. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly because she was shivering so violently it felt as if she might actually fall over. ‘W-we’re g-good.’
And they were. Her pot belly stove had been alight since before she’d begun hanging the washing out and the cottage would be as warm as toast. She had a pile of old towels in the wash house and she could dry Jake off while her bathtub was filling with lovely hot water. They all needed to move now, however, before the chill of a frosty night really set in.
By tacit consent they all started walking. Emmy had stopped crying but her head was buried against Andrew’s shoulder and the rest of her was covered by the padded anorak. Her father was talking to her. Reassuring her as his long legs covered the ground at a speed that left Alice and Jake lagging behind.
He didn’t seem to notice when she turned towards the cottage. He kept going towards the big house, striding away with his precious burden, totally focused on getting his daughter home and safe.
And that was fine. Perfectly understandable. No doubt he would thank Alice when she saw him at work tomorrow. He might even feel grateful enough to give her a little more time to find a new place to live.
Or not. It was blatantly obvious he needed assistance in caring for his child until she learned the boundaries of what was acceptable behaviour in her new and exciting environment.
Alice was so cold by the time her bath was ready it was hard enough to turn the taps off, let alone peel stillsoaked clothes from her body. A curious exhaustion had also set in and the physical effort of tugging free the skin-tight jodhpurs was almost too much. They rolled themselves into a noose around her ankles so she was forced to sit on the bathroom floor. Every time she tried to force the roll of fabric over her heels, either her stiff fingers refused to cooperate or her arms began to ache with the effort.
Jake was lying on the ru
g in front of the pot belly stove, happily soaking in its warmth as he finished drying. Alice was alone in her tiny bathroom. Isolated in this small cottage. What if she couldn’t get the damn jodhpurs off and she was left getting more and more exhausted and hypothermic? If she tried to get up she might fall and hit her head on the side of the old claw foot bath and then she’d have a head injury as well as hypothermia and she might die!
Alone.
How long would it take Andrew to bother coming to the cottage to find out why she’d disappeared? Three weeks, maybe? Until the date she was supposed to have left the premises?
Stupid tears prickled and Alice was so close to simply giving in to them. It took enormous strength to give herself a decent mental shake.
‘Don’t be so ridiculous,’ she said aloud.
She put the ball of one foot against the stubborn roll of fabric on the other ankle, braced herself against the wall and pushed. Hard. It worked, on both sides. It was much easier to peel off the soggy woollen socks and the rest of her clothing, apart from an extended struggle with the catch on her bra, but finally she could climb into the deep bath of gently steaming water.
At first, the heat stung her overly cold skin but after a few minutes it began to seep in to warm her flesh. Some time later, after a top-up from the hot tap, it felt as if her bones were thawing at last and her fingers recovered enough to cope with getting the lid open on her shampoo bottle. Alice soaped her hair and then held her breath and submerged herself to rinse the soap clear.
The horror of what had almost happened in the river was receding and she could finally relax and soak in the warm water now scented with the almond essence from her shampoo. She was safe. Emmy was safe, thank God.
More than safe. As the tension was washed away, Alice was taken back to that tiny moment of time when she’d been held, along with the child, in Andrew’s fierce embrace. It had given her just a glimpse of what it would be like to be that…loved.
And it made her want to cry. Yet again. What on earth was happening to her? Alice Palmer didn’t faint in the face of shocking events. She didn’t cry, either. She dealt with things. Made the best of whatever life threw at her and moved on. The way she’d learned to from such an early age when her parents had died and she had been sent to live with first her gran and then boarding schools. She’d moved on from relationships and jobs and places to live that hadn’t worked out so why was she feeling so unsettled now?
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