“I don’t think Dan—”
“He doesn’t even have to remarry,” Steven continued. “What happens when Emma gets older? Goes off to college? All I’m asking is that you don’t make the same mistake my mother did. Make yourself and your dreams a priority while you’re still young and capable.”
Amy sank deeper into her pillow, a sense of emptiness creeping over her. She could see why Steven was effective in the courtroom. He was passionate and very persuasive.
“Amy? Are you still there?”
“I’m here.” She forced the words past a sudden tightness in her throat. When she’d graduated from high school, there had been no money for further schooling. Being a nanny had started as a temporary solution, a way to support herself while she attended cooking school at night.
She’d completed her courses shortly before Tess died. She couldn’t have left Dan and Emma then. But did that mean she had to spend the next ten or fifteen years standing off to the side watching Dan and Emma live their lives but never really being a part of their world? Even after tonight, what if their relationship didn’t move forward? What if Dan married someone else?
She thought she’d stayed with the Majors out of love for Emma, but was that simply an excuse? Had she stayed out of fear instead? Or for Dan?
“Are you angry?” Concern filled Steven’s voice.
Amy took a deep, steadying breath. Her inner turmoil was her problem, not his. “No. I’m sure you only want the best for me.”
“I do.” His voice took on urgency. “I care—”
“Listen, Steven, I’d love to talk more but I need to get to sleep.” Amy had enough on her mind. She couldn’t deal with what she feared could be a declaration from Steven.
“May I call you tomorrow?”
“Of course.”
“One last suggestion.” Steven spoke quickly as if he sensed her finger hovered over the End button on her phone. “Don’t get personally involved with Dan. It’ll just make leaving his household that much harder when the time comes.”
When, not if.
Amy’s heart twisted. The warning had come a little too late. “I’ll keep that in mind. Good night, Steven.”
“Sweet dreams.”
Amy clicked off the phone. Sweet dreams? Was he kidding? She had so much to think about she’d be lucky if she slept at all.
Chapter Eleven
Amy rose the next morning, pulled on her clothes and headed to the kitchen. She told herself she’d been foolish to spend half the night worrying over her budding relationship with Dan. She was different than Bree and Melinda and her situation was nothing like that of Steven’s mother. Steven had his own agenda and it obviously included coming between her and Dan. Well, Amy wasn’t going to let that happen.
The sound of talk radio came from the kitchen. Amy paused in the doorway and all her doubts slipped away. Dan sat at the table reading the paper.
He looked up when she entered the room. Even with his hair still mussed from sleep and a slight shadow darkening his cheeks, he still made her heart skip a beat. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.” Amy returned his smile and, instead of moving to the coffeemaker, she pulled out a chair and took a seat at the table. “You’re up early.”
Dan lowered the paper to the table. “Couldn’t sleep,” he said, closing his hand over hers. “Someone was on my mind.”
Amy willed herself not to blush. Still her cheeks warmed. “Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious.” Dan’s eyes twinkled. He looked more devilish than serious. “You didn’t even give me a good-night kiss.”
A warm flush of pleasure washed over Amy. So she wasn’t the only one who’d felt cheated.
“Emma was there,” Amy said in a light tone. “We could hardly kiss in front of her.”
Dan looked around the room, his movements exaggerated. “I don’t see her now.”
Amy’s gaze never left his. “I checked on her before I came down. She was fast asleep.”
“We saw last night how quickly that can change.” Still holding Amy’s hand, Dan pushed back his chair and stood.
Amy followed his lead. “Are you saying there’s no time to waste?”
Even as Amy said the words, he pulled her to him. “Oh, yeah.”
A brush fire of heat sizzled through her as he lowered his head.
His lips brushed softly over hers, once, twice with a teasing gentleness. Parting her lips, Amy touched her tongue to his bottom lip. In a heartbeat the kiss changed.
With a low groan, Dan wrapped his arms more firmly around her. His mouth covered hers. She was completely surrounded by him, by the delicious feel of his body against hers. Warmth emanated from his skin. His large hands combed through her hair then slowly skimmed down her back. She reciprocated but went a step further, tugging his shirt from the waistband, slipping her hands inside.
Desire, hot and insistent, gushed through her. She ran her palms up his back, reveling in the contrast of smooth, firm skin over hard muscle. Everything faded except the need to feel more of him. Taste more of him. Touch more of him.
Logic told her to slow down but unfortunately logic wasn’t in charge. Besides, he was having none of it and she wasn’t about to argue.
He lowered his head and ran kisses down her neck. She arched back. A low groan escaped her as his lips dipped lower.
“A-my.” The childish voice coming from the top of the stairs broke through the fog of arousal engulfing her. “I can’t find my pink shirt. Do you know where it is?”
Apparently equally startled, Dan froze, lifting his head.
Amy cleared her throat. She knew exactly where to find the garment, but she didn’t want Emma downstairs any sooner than necessary. “I’ll be up in a minute to help you look.”
Pulling in a much-needed deep breath, Amy returned her attention to Dan and found him studying her with enough simmering heat to melt a polar ice cap.
“That was some good-night kiss,” he said finally.
She swallowed. “It was okay.”
“Okay?” The dimple in his cheek flashed. “Only okay means we’ll have to keep practicing.”
A wealth of emotion rose inside Amy, surprising her with its intensity. No longer could she lie and tell herself she thought of Dan as merely a friend. He turned her on by just being in the same room. His kisses had more kick than, well, than anything she could think of. But it was Dan, who he was, what he stood for, his wit, his charm, that drew her to him.
She’d tried to keep her heart safe but every look, every smile, pushed her a little closer to the edge. She only wished she could be certain that if she went over that edge…he’d be there to catch her.
Dan pushed open the front door and headed down the steps. Once he reached the sidewalk he turned left. Bagels and Jam was only three blocks away. Hot, fresh blueberry bagels had been his getaway excuse. He’d felt the need to put some distance between him and this unsettling woman who had all but turned him into one big, pulsating hormone. His reaction to her bordered on embarrassing.
God knew he’d been ready to devour her in the kitchen. When she’d first walked into the room with her shiny hair tumbling around her shoulders in a tangle of curls, every one of his nerve endings had jumped to attention. She obviously hadn’t taken the time to apply any makeup because a spray of delightful freckles marched across her nose. She looked fresh, clean and good enough to eat.
If Emma hadn’t gotten up when she had, Dan didn’t doubt for a second that things in the kitchen would have quickly burned out of control. While Amy seemed willing, he didn’t want to rush her into something she might regret.
Last night and this morning had told him the attraction was there. While he would never love her like he loved Tess, at least lack of passion wouldn’t be an issue.
Dan found himself distracted as he pushed open the door to the shop. The place was surprisingly busy. He stood at the end of the line behind an attractive woman with salt-and-pepper hair who looked vaguely familiar.
He must have caught her eye when he came in because she turned, a spark of recognition lighting her gaze.
“Aren’t you Dan Major?” she asked.
“I am.” Dan’s mind raced. He tried to place her but no name was forthcoming. He was just about to admit that fact when she stuck out her hand.
“Angela Bartgate,” she said. “My late husband Tom and I used to live two doors down from you on Deming.”
“Of course.” Dan’s hand closed over hers. Now he understood why he hadn’t remembered her. They’d only met once or twice. She and her husband had left the neighborhood shortly after Dan and Tess had moved in. “You moved to…Wisconsin?”
Angela nodded. “Our daughter lives in Madison. We wanted to be closer to her.” A shadow passed over the woman’s face. “Tom was getting ready to retire. But he never got the chance. He was killed by a drunk driver six months ago.” Her voice thickened. She blinked rapidly for several seconds.
Dan’s heart went out to her. Though he’d only met her husband once, Dan knew firsthand what it was like to lose a spouse.
“I can understand what you’re going through,” he said. “My wife, Tess, died three years ago.”
The woman’s eyes widened with shock and sympathy filled her gaze. “Oh, my goodness, no. What happened?”
“Are you two ready to order?”
The bored voice seemed to come out of nowhere and Dan realized with a start that they’d reached the counter. They ordered and made light conversation while they waited. When their drinks and food were ready Dan reached for his wallet. “These will be together.”
Angela glanced up at him. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know.” Dan handed the man behind the counter a twenty. “I want to do it.”
“Would you like to sit and have a cup of coffee with me?” Though Angela’s voice remained calm and composed, the hopefulness in her eyes spoke of desperation. “I’m visiting friends down the street and they both like to sleep late. Tom and I were both early risers. Mornings are still hard for me.”
Dan thought for a moment. Amy and Emma would have plenty to do until he got back.
“Sure,” Dan said. “I’d love the company.”
It wasn’t true, of course. He’d walked down here specifically for the solitude. To reflect on what had happened last night and again this morning. But Angela’s pain was almost palpable and Dan remembered how lonely he’d been when Tess had first died. He couldn’t begin to imagine how much worse it would have been if not for Amy.
“Looks like there’s a table by the window,” Angela said.
Dan was determined to keep the conversation light, but the minute they sat down, the woman leaned forward and rested her hand on his forearm.
“I’m so sorry to hear about your wife,” she said. “What happened?”
Dan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. While thoughts of Tess no longer sent waves of pain crashing over him, he still didn’t like talking about that time. But short of being rude, he didn’t see that he had any other choice.
“Tess was pregnant with our second child.” Opening a packet of raw sugar, Dan dumped the granules into his cup. “There were complications. She and the baby died.”
“How heartbreaking.” Tears filled Angela’s eyes. “I still remember the first time we met. It was a glorious fall day. Tom and I were working in the yard. You and Tess were pushing your daughter around the block.”
Dan remembered that day, too. Emma had been fussy. He’d put her in the stroller, planning to give Tess a break so she could work on a new design that was giving her trouble. But at the last minute Tess had insisted on coming with them.
“You two were so much in love.” Angela’s eyes grew misty. “Just like Tom and I.”
Dan took a sip of coffee, not really tasting it. “It seems like such a long time ago.”
“I assume you still live in the same house?”
It was a logical assumption. After all, she’d run into him just down the street from where she’d once lived. “Still there.”
Angela broke off a piece of scone but made no attempt to eat it. A curious glint lit her eyes. “Have you remarried?”
“No,” Dan said. “It’s hard to think of being married to anyone but Tess…”
Dan let his voice trail off as he added another packet of sugar to his coffee. He took a sip and grimaced at the sweetness.
“My friends tell me I’m too young to spend the rest of my life alone.” Angela stared down into her latte for a moment before lifting her gaze. “But Tom was my soul mate. I’m never going to find anyone I’ll love like that again.”
The image of Tess flashed before him. Spiky blond hair. Big blue eyes. An enchanting smile. She’d been his first love, and from the time he’d been a boy, his only love.
But then another image intruded. One of caramel-colored hair, bright green eyes and a sprinkling of freckles.
Tess had been wonderful, a real gem. But as time went on Dan was finding it impossible to think of Amy as second best to anyone.
He wrapped his fingers around the coffee cup, the warmth a vivid contrast to his suddenly cold hands. “I’ve considered marrying again. Emma needs a mother and I…well, it’d be nice to have a companion.”
Companion?
The minute the word left his mouth, Dan knew it was all wrong. Companion conjured up images of a buddy, not an emerald-eyed temptress who made his day brighter by simply being in the same room.
“Still, I’m not sure it’s fair to marry if you’re not in love,” he added before he could stop himself.
Normally Dan wouldn’t consider discussing an issue of a personal nature with a stranger. But then, Angela wasn’t a part of his daily life and he couldn’t—wouldn’t—air this concern with anyone he might see again.
Certainly not with his mother who’d tell him he needed to be honest with Amy. Or with Jake who’d tell him flat out to do what was best for Dan and not worry about the nanny.
Dan wasn’t sure what he wanted from Angela, unless maybe it was for her to validate that marrying him would be a good thing for Amy. Even if romantic love wasn’t part of the equation.
Angela took a bite of scone and chewed thoughtfully. “I think we’d both be surprised at how many people marry for reasons that have little to do with love.”
“I can see where it could happen,” Dan said. “Take my situation for example. I have a child that could really use a mother and I can’t imagine spending the next fifty years of my life alone. Still, is settling the right thing to do?”
But…was marrying Amy really settling? He preferred to think of it as—
“I can understand not wanting to be alone.” Angela stirred her latte and her brows furrowed.
“It could be a win-win situation. Marriage could be a good thing for her, too,” Dan inserted before she could continue, feeling like a lawyer presenting a case, desperate to get all the evidence in before a verdict is rendered. “I could give her the life she’s always wanted.”
“That might work,” Angela said, but the doubt in her voice sent unease creeping up Dan’s spine. “As long as—”
Dan kept his face expressionless, hoping she couldn’t hear the pounding of his heart. He lifted a brow.
“As long as the life she’s always wanted never included a man who loves her.”
Dan leaned back in his desk chair and stared unseeingly at the computer monitor. He’d come back from the bagel place, edgy and out of sorts. While he’d been able to keep his emotions under control, it had still been a relief when Amy had left to take Emma to dance class.
Angela had given him a lot to think about. Dan grimaced. He’d never thought he’d be in this predicament. He’d never thought his wife would die young. He’d never thought he’d have to worry about what would happen to his daughter should a similar fate befall him.
“Dan?”
He turned in his chair.
Amy stood in the doorway, a glass tumbler filled with iced tea in one
hand. “I thought you might be thirsty.”
Dan glanced at the clock, surprised to discover so much time had passed. He hadn’t even heard her return. “How was the dance class?”
Amy smiled. “They’re practicing for the Nutcracker. Emma is so excited. She’s just a Snow Angel but you’d think she had the lead.”
Although the finer points of ballet escaped him, Dan liked watching his daughter jump and spin. He smiled and, obviously taking the gesture as a sign of real interest, Amy went into more detail about the lesson. But when she started throwing around technical ballet terms she lost him.
If this was important to Emma, then it should be important to Dan. He knew he should be focusing on the tale she was weaving, but Amy’s red lips made it impossible for him to concentrate. The freshly applied color made her lips look plump and juicy, like the most delectable of strawberries. And recent experience had taught him that those lips tasted as good as they looked.
Dan’s gaze dropped to take in the sight of her distracting curves and long legs. There was a lump in his throat, a mixture of lust and fear and something else he couldn’t identify. Dear God, what was happening to him? The woman stops in to offer him some tea and talk about his child and all he can think about is jumping her?
Or was focusing on the physical attraction that simmered between them a way to keep from thinking about other, deeper issues?
“Dan?”
He blinked and realized she’d quit talking.
“Is something wrong?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Fifth place and pivots. Fascinating stuff.”
A tiny smile hovered on the edges of her lips. “It’s fifth position and pirouettes,” she corrected. “And I can tell something is on your mind.”
Without waiting for an invitation she crossed the room, placed the tea on a coaster at the edge of the desktop and took a seat. “What’s going on? Spill.”
What’s going on is that I want to marry you because I need a mother for my daughter and a companion for myself but now I’m not sure that’d be fair to you.
A look of distress filled her gaze and for a second Dan worried he’d spoken his thoughts aloud. But then he realized it was his silence she was reacting to, not to any words. His mind quickly searched for a plausible excuse for his inattention. “Actually, I was wondering about Thanksgiving.”
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