Love is a Lyric (Rockstars Anonymous)

by Michelle MacQueen

  She nodded and slid it out of her pocket. His fingers brushed hers as he took it, but he ignored the jolt the contact struck through him. He refused to substitute Piper for Quinn. Neither of the women deserved that.

  Sucking in a breath, he turned and ran up the stairs to get his guitar, needing that connection to his life.

  By the time he stepped outside, his dad had cleaned the kitchen, and his mom and Piper were nowhere to be found. He didn’t want to regret being honest with them, but he couldn’t help feeling like his words would forever change how they saw him.

  She didn’t break my heart.

  He hadn’t realized how true those words were until he’d said them. He didn’t miss his relationship with Quinn. Had any of it been real? Or just a story to sell their fans?

  But the music, connecting to her lyrics and singing on stage with her, that had given him life.

  Who was he without her?

  Lowering himself to the edge of the deck, he dropped his legs over the side and stared out across the expansive yard to the line of trees. There was a peace here he’d never experienced anywhere else.

  And it soothed the turmoil inside him.

  As his fingers plucked strings and switched chords, Ben tried to complete the song he’d started earlier before Piper found him. But without Quinn’s lyrics, he couldn’t connect to the notes. They didn’t flow from one into the other. Piper called it beautiful, but he knew it for what it truly was.

  Soulless.

  Just like him.

  His phone dinged, and he stopped playing to look at it. Forty-six messages. Most were from Drew—that guy was annoying—or Melanie.

  The phone rang in his hand, and he answered it with a sigh. “Hey, Mel.”

  “About time you answer my call. Ben, what is going on? Piper has kept me in the loop, but why haven’t you returned to L.A.? What are you doing in Ohio?”

  “I wasn’t due to return to L.A. for a few months, Mel.”

  “That was before you abandoned your bandmates on vacation.”

  “Abandoned, Mel—”

  “I know what happened, Ben. But… Quinn is back in L.A..”

  Shock jolted through him. “What?” He sat up straighter. “What is she doing there?”

  “What do you think? It’s Quinn.”

  He cursed. There was only one reason she’d go to L.A. before she had to. To be seen. “She’s preparing to tilt the story her way.”

  “I’m meeting with her tomorrow, and I’ll convince her to keep her mouth shut, but we both know how she is. She says she has a number of songs for the label, but they don’t have music yet.”

  He closed his eyes, his fingers itching to get ahold of those songs, to write the notes that would make them soar. “Our first two songs are due to them next week.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  He wanted to never see Quinn again. He wanted to turn back the clock. But this was no longer about him. Fate had a contract, one he wouldn’t break. Because the music mattered. Not their feelings. Not their wishes.

  Only the music.

  “Send me the lyrics. I’ll see what I can do.”

  He could practically hear Melanie smile. “I knew I could count on you.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Suck up to someone who doesn’t know you.”

  She laughed. “You sound better than I was expecting.”

  “What were you expecting?”

  “I don’t know, Ben. You and Quinn have been together for so long I can’t imagine you apart. But there was always a guarded way about you when she was around. I don’t hear it now.”

  She was right. He’d soon have Quinn’s songs without the relationship, and he felt lighter than he had in a long time. “I think I’ll be okay.”

  One conversation. That was all it had taken to go from the utter despair crushing him to a path to healing.

  One promise.

  The songs.

  “I think so too.” Melanie paused. “I’ll get the songs from Quinn and send them to you.”

  “Thanks, Mel.”

  “Anytime. And stop ignoring Rockstars Anonymous. Whether you wanted it or not, they care about you. Answer their calls. Talk later.”

  Ben sighed as he opened his messages. Melanie was right. He couldn’t ignore the people who cared.

  He scrolled through texts from Drew and Noah before stopping on a name he didn’t know he’d see. Conner. He stared at his best friend’s name for a long moment before tapping the message.

  It started with apology after apology. Unlike Quinn—who hadn’t messaged—Conner seemed filled with guilt. That was something, at least.

  The last message was a link to an article, and Conner’s text said, please fix this.

  Ben opened the article titled “A Twist of Fate?”

  It started with two pictures of Quinn alone in L.A.

  Quinn Hayes, singer of the band Fate, returned to L.A. a few days ago alone. The band was rumored to be holed up in Florida working on their new album after the conclusion of their successful world tour. But insiders speak of fractures within the band, between rock’s sweethearts Quinn Hayes and Ben Evans. Have we seen the last of Fate?

  Ben’s fingers curled around the phone, and he had to keep himself from hurling it into the grass. He stared down at the screen, unable to take his eyes off the words as he hunched forward over his guitar, collapsing in on himself.

  Melanie was sending him Quinn’s songs, but he still hadn’t spoken to Quinn or Conner. Was this article right?

  Had the world seen the last of Fate?

  15

  Piper

  “She didn’t break my heart. She broke my music.”

  Somehow, Piper knew that was worse.

  “I know, Mel.” Piper walked into the kitchen as Melanie continued talking in her ear. “I’m looking out for him.”

  “You’re a good non-assistant.”

  Piper grimaced at the thought she was only in Ohio, only helping Ben because she’d worked for Fate. “Just a good friend.”

  “Well, whatever you are, it got him to answer my call. I’ve been so worried. Everything is on the line for Fate, and I’d hate to see them fall apart because of a little blip like this.”

  “A blip? Quinn cheated on Ben. With Conner.”

  “Yes, yes. I know, and it sucks. But Fate is a household name now, especially after the tour. People love them. This should be the best time in their lives, not the time for the lead singer to go sulk at Mom and Dad’s.”

  Piper stopped at the window and stared out at Ben where he sat hunched over his guitar, the portrait of a hurting man.

  She didn’t break my heart.

  Those words shouldn’t have filled Piper with a hope she didn’t know she needed.

  Melanie was still talking, but Piper couldn’t hear the words as she watched dark clouds build in the sky over the lonely man.

  “It’s going to storm.” Jonathan glanced over from the sink as he dried a pan.

  Piper couldn’t help feeling like the storm had already come.

  “Are you listening to me?” Melanie snapped. “Piper?”

  “What did you say?”

  “I said you need to do whatever you can to get that man back to L.A., back to Fate. He belongs with them. You get that, right?”

  “Yeah, Mel.” She tore her eyes from the window. “I know exactly where he belongs.” Not on the peaceful property in Ohio with people who cared about him. Not with her.

  “Great, because there are already rumors in the tabloids about a Fate split. I’ll work to dispel them. Quinn has new songs that need Ben’s music. If he’s going to be there, he can at least be working. I’ll send them to you tomorrow. Make sure he gets them.”

  New songs, just as Conner said. “Did he agree to this?”

  “Of course. Look, Pipes, I’ve got to go. Take care of our guy.”

  “Will do.” She hung up and chanced one more look out the window. Ben hadn’t moved, but he’d talked to Melanie, agreed to wri
te music for Quinn again.

  Soon, he’d return to Fate, and she’d leave for tour with Drew Stone.

  She broke my music.

  Piper couldn’t get those words out of her head. She knew more than anyone how important the music was to him because her lyrics were everything to her. They allowed her to make sense of the world, of her tragedies and triumphs.

  They allowed her to see herself, to accept herself.

  Jonathan offered her a smile, but he wasn’t who she needed advice from, neither was Julia. They were the perfect parents, and they’d been there for her, but they weren’t the parents she’d known for the first part of her life.

  She stared into the dark clouds outside, wishing for some kind of answers. How do I help him, Mom? She closed her eyes. How do I help myself?

  As if an answer from heaven, her phone rang. Irritation rushed through her at the thought of talking to Melanie, or Conner, or Drew. For one night, she wanted to pretend the world of fame and rockstars didn’t exist.

  But it wasn’t any of their names flashing on the screen.

  A smile tilted her lips as she brought the phone to her ear. “Just the voice I needed to hear.”

  Chase laughed. “Flatterer.”

  “Come on over, and I’ll flatter you.”

  “Oh no. No no no. Pipes, was that flirting? You sounded like some creepy bald guy hitting on the too-young girl sitting at the bar.”

  She laughed and couldn’t stop. All the emotion from the morning welled up in her, breaking through her calm exterior until the laughs turned to sobs.

  Jonathan paused his cleaning. “Do I need to hurt whoever is on the phone?”

  Chase must have heard him. “Piper, why does my dad want to hurt me? Stop crying, dude. Or at least go somewhere else so he doesn’t think I’m the cause.”

  Piper laughed through her tears. “I’m okay. It’s just Chase, and he didn’t make me cry, I promise.”

  Jonathan looked from her to the window where they could still see Ben, understanding lighting in his eyes.

  “Piper!” Chase yelled. “What the heck is going on? Why are you crying?”

  She turned from the window and wiped the tears from her face as she left Jonathan staring after her in the kitchen. She didn’t say anything to Chase as she sprinted up the stairs and into her room, kicking the door shut behind her. She flopped onto the bed with a sigh.

  “If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I’m going to assume you’re dying.”

  “I’m okay, Chase. Just ignore my moment.”

  “I will not. Piper Hayes doesn’t have moments. She usually saves all the emotion for her songs.”

  “Yeah, well I don’t feel like writing today.”

  “Never thought I’d see the day.”

  She rubbed her eyes. “What day?”

  “The day you lost your mind.”

  “Shut up.”

  “You shut up.”

  “Good comeback.” She laughed, thankful for the tiny bit of normalcy Chase always provided her life. To be honest, her life had never been normal. At least, not since she was ten when she had to fit into a family that wasn’t her own. “Ben is going to have to leave soon.”

  “So will you.”

  “I think I’ll stay here until my new job starts.” She didn’t want to admit she had nowhere else to go. In L.A., she lived in Quinn’s loft.

  Chase was quiet for a long moment. “We’ve known since you guys got here it wouldn’t last. Why are you—no!”

  “What?” She sat up. “What’s wrong.”

  “You! You’re what’s wrong. Piper Ellen Hayes, do you have feelings for my brother?”

  He wasn’t the first to insinuate it, and she’d started wondering if they were right. She’d always been drawn to Ben, to his music. But there’d been a wall between them, a wall named Quinn.

  A groan rolled through her. “I’m messed up, aren’t I?”

  “Yes, yes you are.”

  “Just over a week ago, Ben found out my sister was cheating on him. A week. I’ve never had the right to think of him as anything other than a surrogate brother.”

  “Piper, I am your brother. Ben is not. You and I were raised together, but even if he’s not a brother to you, he was in love with Quinn for years. He has that whole theory about fate… I don’t want you getting hurt.”

  Could she tell him about the songs? Would it even matter at this point? At first, she’d kept quiet to protect Quinn. Even after everything she did, she was still her sister.

  But now, when the knowledge could change everything?

  She held the words down, not even admitting them to her best friend, her brother, for fear of what they’d mean. If Ben truly believed he was tied to the songs, she didn’t want his affections turned to her.

  She didn’t want him falling in love with her because of words on a page.

  None of it would be real.

  “I won’t get hurt, Chase. I promise. I know who Ben is, and I know who I am. Don’t worry, this head of mine doesn’t have any delusions.”

  “Piper—”

  “It’s okay, really. I just need to get him back to where he belongs.”

  Chase went quiet, and when he spoke again, his tone held a new sadness. “And what about you, Piper? Will you get to where you belong?”

  That was the problem, wasn’t it? She didn’t know where she belonged. “Yeah, Chase. I’m going to be fine.”

  She only wished she believed her own words. As she hung up, she leaned back on her bed in a room she’d made her own after coming here an orphan, a broken child. The Evans healed her, they put her back together piece by piece.

  And she’d do that for Ben. It wasn’t the same, she knew that. Losing a girlfriend, an inspiration, didn’t compare to parents dying, but it wasn’t fair to compare pains.

  Because in the end, it all hurt.

  A crash of thunder ripped through the sky, but no rain followed it as the front door crashed open and Chase rushed in, a grin on his face. “Hey, family.”

  Piper looked around the empty foyer, lifting one brow. Chase loved entrances, but only she’d been there to greet him. When his car pulled down the long drive, she’d sighed, not wanting another lecture.

  But his smile told her he had another reason for showing up, despite the storm that had been building all day.

  Crossing her arms over her chest, she stared at him. “Dinner is over, but if you’re here for food, your mom packed some up for you in the fridge.” She’d said he’d come looking eventually.

  “Perfect.” Chase brushed by her. “I’m starving.”

  Piper followed him into the kitchen. After dinner, Julia and Jonathan went out to get some ice cream. Ben turned them down and retreated to his room. Piper hadn’t been hungry anymore, so she’d stayed on the off-chance Ben would break the silence he’d kept up all day.

  Chase bent into the fridge and pulled out a plate of barbecue chicken and mashed potatoes.

  Piper took out a covered bowl. “Want some asparagus?”

  Chase reared back as if she’d shot him. “Do you not know me at all?”

  She laughed. “Okay then. No veggies. Just keep with the carbs.”

  “Hush, I know for a fact Mom probably made you pancakes this morning.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because it’s Saturday.” He took his plate to the table and sat, eating as if it was his first meal in weeks. “I had a date tonight, but it was bad. Awful. We both agreed to leave before we got to the main course, so I’m starving.”

  “Your dates are always bad.” She sat across from him.

  “Not...” He pointed his fork at her. “Okay, totally true. But it’s not my fault I can’t find a man who likes hockey.”

  She choked on a laugh. “Is that your only criteria?”

  He shrugged and kept eating. “Well, no. But even the ones who like hockey are just dull.”

  “Maybe you’re too picky.”

  “Pipes, I know I’
m picky, but there’s no such thing as too picky.”

  They didn’t bring up their phone conversation from earlier, the fact he knew some of what she felt for Ben. Chase was good like that. He stole glances at her as he ate until he stood and took the empty plate to the dishwasher.

  “Did you just come for the food?” she asked.

  One corner of his mouth hooked up. “I had an idea.”

  “I don’t like the sound of that.”

  “You said we need to get Ben back to where he belongs, right?”

  She nodded.

  “So, we need to bring him back to the music.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  Chase leaned against the counter beside her. “Hear me out before you say no. Where is the place you fell in love with music when we were teens? The place you sang the first song you’d ever written?”

  Piper’s breath stuttered as she understood exactly what he meant. “I haven’t been there in years.”

  “I still go sometimes.” He bumped her shoulder. “When I’m missing you.”

  She looped her arm through his, remembering how they’d spent every weekend at the State Street pub. It wasn’t really a pub, more like a coffee shop/diner. Every Friday and Saturday night they had an open mic where any local musician could try out new stuff. She and Chase would sit in the big blue booths for hours listening to music.

  It was the only place she’d ever sang in front of people.

  And it was perfect. For Ben to get back to a place he could sing with Fate—with Quinn—he needed to heal his music. He’d taken the first step by agreeing to look at the songs Melanie was sending, but it wasn’t enough.

  A frown marred her face as she thought of what would happen once he went back to L.A. The world needed to believe in the love story of Fate, but did Ben still believe in it too?

  Chase wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into a hug. “I know that look. Stop thinking so much. Maybe you need a night at the pub just as much as he does.”

  A night to remember her old life before she’d dropped out of college and agreed to work for Quinn, before she knew that it could mean losing the last family member she had. “I miss her, Chase.” It was true. She hadn’t let herself think of her sister or the fact Quinn hadn’t so much as called her, though she’d called Ben plenty. Piper wasn’t an idiot. She knew what her sister was, that she took advantage of Piper every day. But it didn’t stop Piper from loving her, from holding on to the one last piece of her parents she had. “What if I never get her back?” What if Quinn ever found out about her feelings for Ben? What if she never forgave her for quitting?