Love is a Lyric (Rockstars Anonymous)

by Michelle MacQueen

  “Why not?”

  “Because it would alter this tightly controlled world she’s created. A world where you and Quinn are the rockstars and she’s the girl the shadows own, the one not worthy of a spotlight.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “Yes, but it’s Piper. I warned her about you, Ben.”

  That should have hurt. His own brother didn’t trust him. But he understood because he didn’t trust himself.

  “You’re my brother, Ben, and I love you, but Piper is my everything. She’s been there for me my entire life. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

  “I know.” He’d do anything to keep Piper from getting hurt, but what if it was too late? She didn’t deserve to be pulled into the media spotlight alongside him. His world had no place for her goodness. “I think it’s time I go back to L.A.”

  Disappointment flashed across Chase’s face, and he stood. “You’re not even going to fight for her?”

  “What? I thought you said—”

  “I said I didn’t want her getting hurt, Ben. Not that I didn’t want you admitting you have feelings for her too.”

  “I don’t…” He couldn’t finish that sentence. It didn’t make sense. He’d known Piper her entire life. She didn’t fit into the plans he had or his belief in fate. But singing with her at the pub, standing with her in the rain… maybe he’d been wrong about the music tying him to Quinn.

  As soon as the thought entered his mind, a tether snapped and he slumped forward, his entire body shaking. All these years, had he been wrong?

  Chase gripped his shoulder. “You’re right, Ben. If you think you’ll hurt her, you need to leave. Go back to Quinn and to your precious music. I’ll take care of Piper. I always have.”

  “Piper has never needed anyone to take care of her.” He couldn’t meet his brother’s eyes.

  “This time, she will. You should go.” He turned away from him. “You have packing to do.” He walked into his bedroom and shut the door.

  He was right. Ben stood, casting one final glance at the door before ordering a Lyft on his phone and stepping outside to wait for it. He sat on the front stoop of the apartment building, his hat pulled low on his head as he scrolled through text messages.

  Melanie, label execs, and finally… Quinn.

  Yet, the people he really needed were silent. The Rockstars Anonymous chat group had nothing for him this time, no advice, no solidarity.

  He sighed as the car pulled up. How had everything changed so quickly?

  It took twenty minutes to get to the familiar brick house surrounded by expansive land and woods. He waited for the calm that always settled over him when he came home, but it wasn’t there. Because he knew what waited for him inside.

  He thanked the driver before walking up the driveway past his mom’s sedan and his dad’s truck. His stomach rumbled, ready for lunch after a morning of being unable to eat.

  But food would wait because there was a girl he had to talk to first.

  Noise reached him as soon as he pushed the door open. The clanging of forks on plates and raucous laughter. It took Ben a moment to recognize the various voices filtering through the house. He stopped on the threshold of the kitchen, relief rushing through him at the sight of the people he’d claimed weren’t friends of his.

  The ones he shared everything with in their cheesy support group.

  For the first time, he understood everything Melanie hoped to accomplish when she brought them together. Camaraderie. Sympathy. Family.

  Drew spotted him first, a grin stretching across his face. “Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence.”

  Everything stopped all at once as all eyes fell on him. His four rockstar friends crowded around the table with his parents and Piper.

  Piper.

  The only person in the room not looking at him.

  Noah rose to clap Ben on the back. “Your mum makes a mean quiche.”

  Ben choked on a laugh. “Mom, you made them quiche?” Probably the most un-rockstar-like food. Jo with her pink-tipped hair and Noah in his ripped jeans both shrugged.

  Drew raised a glass. “And mimosas! We need to come here more often. Piper, let’s add a Columbus date to my tour. I want to stay here instead of a hotel.”

  Piper shook her head. “First, I don’t schedule the tour as your assistant. Talk to the label. Second, you aren’t stealing my family.”

  That voice. Hearing her speak shook him more than he expected. Now that he knew Piper meant every bit of that kiss—or at least that Chase suspected she did—he couldn’t look her in the eye.

  Stealing my family.

  His parents didn’t only belong to him. He knew now he couldn’t do anything to ruin what they had.

  “Have a seat, Benji.” His mom offered her own seat as she took her plate to the sink.

  “Wait.” Drew’s grin widened. “Did she just call you Benji?”

  “I heard it.” Noah lifted a brow.

  Jo only smirked, and Dax remained stoic as usual.

  “Not a word,” Ben growled.

  “Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it.” Drew winked. “Benji.”

  Ben sighed. “What are you guys doing here anyway?”

  Jo cleared her throat.

  “And gal.” He threw her a wink. “Something happen with our baby?”

  Piper sputtered, spitting mimosa on the table. Drew pounded on her back until she could breathe again.

  Ben winced as he replayed the words in his mind and glanced at his parents. “I mean Jo’s baby.” He didn’t know how to explain how this group of rockstars no one knew was friends would be there for the enigmatic drummer. It wasn’t only because the baby’s father was a grade-A douchebag. They had each other’s backs.

  “No.” Drew smirked. “He’s right. It’s our baby. Right, Joey?”

  Jo’s face went three shades of red. “Um… whatever.”

  Drew sniffed. “Our Joey is so eloquent.” He met Ben’s gaze. “But no, we’re not here for our baby. It’s cooking fine.”

  “Don’t say cooking.” Dax shook his head.

  Drew continued. “We’re here for our little Benji.” He released a dramatic sigh. “We dropped everything, flying thousands of miles despite super important obligations to come see you.”

  Noah snorted. “What he means is that Drew had nothing on his calendar this week. I just got back from London and hated the thought of returning to L.A. right away, Jo is all emotional and needed us.”

  “Am not,” she snapped.

  “Don’t worry.” Drew shot her a smile. “We like emotional Jo. It’s much better than always-angry and silent Jo.”

  Noah pointed to Dax. “And we never know what he’s up to.”

  Dax shrugged.

  Ben’s eyes skimmed the faces around the table. “So… you’re saying you flew to Ohio because you were all bored?”

  “And you needed us. Did I leave that out?”

  Jo reached out and smacked Drew upside the head.

  Drew grimaced. “See? Emotional.”

  “No, bro.” Noah laughed. “We all pretty much want to do that all the time.”

  Ben, Noah, Jo, and Dax nodded in agreement.

  Ben’s dad stood with a laugh. “Well, gents… and ladies, Ben’s mother and I are going to leave you to it. Ben, clean up this kitchen when you’re done.”

  “Sure, Dad.”

  Once they were gone, an uncomfortable silence fell over the table as the Rockstars Anonymous crew tried their hardest not to stare at Piper. That was when Ben knew. They said they were here for him—it was because of the picture and the media circus.

  “Did Mel send you?” he asked no one in particular.

  Piper jumped from her chair. “I’ll uh… I need to… bye.” She ran from the room.

  Drew jerked his chin after her, his eyes meeting Ben’s. “Go.”

  Ben sprinted after her, following her up the stairs and into her room. She knew he was there, he could see it in the tense s
et of her shoulders.

  And as she turned to face him, her calm mask in place, every word he’d wanted to say failed him.

  Because he knew in that moment, he was in love with Piper Hayes.

  21

  Piper

  Piper couldn’t stare at Ben without a cord squeezing the oxygen from her lungs. So, she didn’t. Her eyes bounced around the room, settling on the notebook sitting on her bed, the one full of half-finished songs. She hadn’t finished a single song since ripping up her old notebook and giving years’ worth of music to Quinn, since returning home.

  It would be so easy to tell Ben the truth about everything, to make him see the music had never led him to her sister.

  But then what? Would he fall hopelessly in love with her because of this idea that they were connected? She’d seen it before. For so many years, Ben and Quinn fell deeper into a relationship based on this idea they were meant to find each other. Their entire careers centered around the love that didn’t truly exist.

  “I won’t be a replacement for Quinn.” The words popped out before she could call them back.

  “Piper—” He stepped further into the room. “You don’t understand.”

  “I do actually. Last night was a mistake.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  She finally lifted hard eyes to his. “Have you read what they’re saying about me?”

  His silence was answer enough.

  “I’m a band wrecker, a home wrecker. I betrayed my sister. The worst kind of woman. This is what the world now thinks of me.”

  “None of it’s true.”

  “I know that, but it doesn’t change the facts, Ben. We should never have let it get that far.” For once in her life, she wanted to be strong for herself, not for anyone else.

  “I think I’m—”

  “Don’t say it. Benjamin Evans, don’t you dare say it.” If he told her how he felt, she’d waver. She’d fall into his arms, wanting to pretend this didn’t have to hurt so much.

  “Piper.” He stepped close, one hand traveling up her arm. The side of his head rested against hers, their breaths syncing.

  She didn’t want to say anything, to break the moment.

  “I was going to leave,” he whispered. “This morning, I sat on Chase’s couch convincing myself to just go back to my life in L.A.”

  “And now?”

  “Now, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  She closed her eyes, soaking in his nearness as the words of the press rolled through her mind on repeat. She wasn’t that girl. Fate couldn’t end because of her. Ben needed his music more than he’d ever needed anything else.

  “I haven’t finished a song,” she whispered.

  “What?” He pulled back to look into her eyes.

  “Since we left Florida, I haven’t finished a song.” Songwriting normally came so easy for her, like the lyrics flowed from her heart to her pen. She sat on the corner of the bed, lifting the notebook into her lap. “We’re like these songs, Ben. Unfinished. Unpolished. And most of them will never get their endings.”

  A love song was like life, taking the listener through the highs and lows before giving them their happily ever after. But many songs never went through the process. A promising start didn’t mean a satisfying ending. Many ended up as forgotten pages crumpled in the trash can.

  Were they a forgotten lyric?

  Or were they a song that didn’t belong to her? One she’d given to Quinn just like everything else.

  “You could never replace Quinn.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

  Piper’s heart stuttered as pain enveloped it. “I know.”

  “No, you don’t. I’m not in love with Quinn. I don’t think I ever have been. But the way you make me feel…”

  “Ben.” She lifted her eyes to his, doing her best to keep the mask from showing the emotions churning inside her. “I told you not to say it.”

  He reached down to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “I—”

  “Need to leave. For both our sake’s. You don’t see it, Ben, but I do. We don’t belong together. The world wouldn’t have it.”

  “Screw the world.”

  “That’s easy to say when you’re on top of it.” She gave him a sad smile. “I have known you for so long. I’ll always care about you. But as soon as you go back to L.A., we can chalk this up to a brief rebound.”

  “This is not a rebound,” he growled.

  “But it isn’t love either.” The words physically hurt to say. Melanie and Quinn were right. Ben needed to get back to the music that made him who he was. He had a great life, one that didn’t involve a ruined career or a girl his fans already hated. The gulf between them created by her previous lies widened as she told yet another one, telling herself it was for her own good.

  And just like the lie about her lyrics, this one would change everything.

  He nodded, her words finally sinking in. “I guess we don’t have anything left to talk about.” He turned and walked from her room like he’d never been there at all.

  Piper stared out into the empty hall, her body caving in on itself as she hunched forward, and a sob worked its way up from her chest, exploding past her lips.

  Her back shook as she stayed frozen in place, unable to rid herself of the pain stabbing through her heart. Everything she’d done, every word she spoke was for the good of both her and Ben. If they let themselves give in to whatever this was between them, neither would come out unscathed.

  Piper’s bed dipped, and she looked up to find Julia sitting beside her. She slipped an arm over Piper’s shoulders, and Piper collapsed into her, her sobs coming in quick succession.

  “Sweetie,” Julia cooed, pushing the hair back from her face. “You will survive this.”

  Piper sniffled and lifted her head to meet Julia’s eyes. “How do you know what happened?”

  “I don’t. But I know Piper Hayes, just like I knew her mother. And the Hayes women can survive anything.”

  “Julia?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Did Mom ever have her heart broken?”

  Understanding lit in Julia’s eyes. “Ah, yes. There was a boy when we first started college. She fell in love with him, but it turned out he didn’t deserve that love.”

  “What happened?” Piper sat up, wiping her face.

  A smile tilted Julia’s face. “She got through it using her music. And that music led her to your father.”

  “Music doesn’t have that power.” Julia sounded like Ben with his wishful fantasies of fate.

  “Your mother believed it did. She once told me love was just a lyric, one part of a song. An integral part, yes, but not the entire thing. Love doesn’t make music, dear. Not unless we choose to surround it with notes that help it breathe.”

  She heard the meaning in Julia’s words. Love wasn’t enough, a fact she’d known. Drying her face on her sleeve, she tried to stop more tears from coming. “What would Mom think of me?” She was a college dropout, an assistant with no plans for the future.

  “Oh, Piper. Your mom would be so proud of her talented, caring daughter. I don’t think Fate would be where they are without you.” There was something in her tone, some knowledge. It wasn’t the first time Piper had heard it.

  The air rushed out of her lungs as her suspicions were confirmed. “You know, don’t you?”

  Julia waited a long moment to respond. “I suspected. You used to leave your notebook in the kitchen. I’d hide it from the boys, but I couldn’t help myself. From the moment you started writing lyrics, it brought your mother back to me.”

  Piper wasn’t upset Julia invaded her privacy. She’d have done the same thing if it made her feel closer to her mom. “Why didn’t you say anything?” She’d let Quinn and Piper lie to the entire world.

  “Because that wasn’t my choice. The words belonged to you, and if you wished to give them to your sister, that was your right.”

  “I didn’t mean for it to go so far.” She’d nev
er admitted that even to herself. “At first, I thought it was just one song.” And then Quinn returned for more, making Piper feel like her sister truly needed her for the first time. “I didn’t know.” That it would rocket Fate to fame, that it would tie Ben and Quinn together.

  “Ben doesn’t know, does he?”

  Piper shook her head. “I can’t tell him.”

  “My son has stubbornly clung to this idea that he loved Quinn because her words spoke to him, because they fit the notes he wrote. And all this time, it wasn’t about Quinn, all these years.”

  “But it’s not about me either. That’s the point. I am not my lyrics. I am not Ben’s fate, and I won’t let him attach himself to me just because he thinks otherwise.” She jumped from the bed.

  “And what of you? Is he your fate?”

  “That’s ridiculous, Julia. There’s no such thing.”

  She stood. “You’re probably right. Let me tell you this, Piper. If my eldest son falls in love with you, it won’t have anything to do with music and everything to do with you. Don’t let the fear of not knowing his reasons keep you from creating reasons of your own.”

  “Reasons for what?”

  Julia pressed a kiss to the side of Piper’s head. “To love him.”

  22

  Ben

  “I call this meeting of Rockstars Anonymous to order.” Drew banged his fist like a gavel on the wooden table beside his deck chair.

  “I still hate that name.” Jo groaned as she sat on the ground and leaned her back against Noah’s legs.

  Dax stood at the edge of the deck staring out at the woods in full contemplative-Dax-Nelson mode.

  Ben sat and surveyed the group, as different as they were alike. The two hard core rockers, one British and one American. Pretty boy hockey-playing Drew.

  The mysterious and slightly nerdy Dax.

  What role did Ben play in this little gang? Oh yeah, the pathetic one they needed to fly to Ohio to see.