by Edith Hawkes
“I do not have to explain myself to you, Simon. And keep your fucking voice down,” I hissed at him as I strode past him, forcing him to follow me out towards the front end of Noah’s cabin and out of my parents’ earshot.
Once I was satisfied that we were far enough away, I stopped and turned to face him. I was determined not to shy away from him and let him see how scared I was to confront him. I placed my hands on my hips, bracing myself, ready for the fight that was about to begin. I was fully expecting him to continue ranting and raving as he had been doing only moments ago, but he surprised me when his face softened and turned doe-eyed. But I wasn’t a fool—I wasn’t going to fall for his games again.
“Katie, why do you do this to me?” he said sweetly, and it almost turned my stomach the way he said my name.
“Do what? I told you I never wanted to see you again.”
“Shhh, don’t say that. You don’t mean it. Hell, you haven’t even taken your ring off.”
Goddamnit! I thought. How I’d forgotten to take it off again I did not know. But I was not going let another moment pass with it still on my finger. I reached for it, turned the metal around my cold finger and slid it off. There, it was done.
“Here! Is that better? Will you believe me now when I say don’t want to see you?” I said as I threw it at him. The diamond that sat on the ring glinted in the dwindling light as it bounced off his chest and fell between his feet in the snow. His face darkened as he bent to pick it up.
When he rose, I could see the anger within him bubbling to the surface. His jaw clenched, and I barely heard my name being growled out between his teeth. “Katie, enough of this,” he said as he breathed heavily out of his nostrils, the steam billowing in front of his face. “You’re coming home with me. We’ll sort things out there.”
I took a step back as he reached for my arm. He narrowly missed, but he was coming forward, unrelenting. I tried to back away, but he was too quick; he clamped a hand around my wrist and started dragging me towards his shiny BMW.
“Let. Me. Go.” I said deliberately, pausing between each word so he knew I meant it. But he ignored me and continued. I dug the heels of my boots into the ground, trying to slow him down, but he still managed to overpower me. I knew I could scream to get my dad’s attention, or Noah’s, but I really didn’t want them to see this. I was too ashamed of what I’d gotten myself into.
“Simon, I don’t know what you think you’re going to accomplish, ’cause there’s no way I’m gonna get in the car with you.”
“You will if you know what’s good for you.”
His grip tightened even harder almost to the point where I thought my wrist was going to snap. “Simon, you’re hurting me—let me go.”
But Simon didn’t care and instead threw me against the car. My hips bounced off the side of the wheel arch with a crack, and my head banged against one of the windows as I slid to the ground.
Without warning everything around me started shaking. This wasn’t earthquake country, but nonetheless it felt like the whole world was about to come apart.
I looked up to figure out what the source could be, my head slightly woozy and my vision swirling. I thought I saw Noah come charging towards us, but more importantly towards Simon. He still hadn’t put a shirt on, and as I stared at his chest, at this raging man coming to protect me, I witnessed something that I would never forget and thought would send me into the nut house.
His whole body was changing, rippling as if something underneath his skin was trying to escape. Then all of a sudden, in the blink of an eye, Noah was no longer Noah. There was only a huge black bear in his place; the remnants of his jeans were discarded in the snow behind him, shredded and mangled.
Simon gave out a whimper and threw himself into his car. I scrambled away from the front of the car and away from the road as Simon started the engine. His wheels started to spin but were unable to gain traction. Eventually the tires gripped, and the car sped off.
Before I could register exactly what had happened, the bear that had stood in Noah’s place turned away and bolted for the tree-line.
I sat in the snow for what must’ve been a good few minutes before being able to get my bearings, stand back up and make it back into the cabin.
Five
For the rest of the day and early into the night, my head was spinning; I was unsure of what I’d seen. It couldn’t have been real. I must’ve bumped my head on the car hood or something and hallucinated the whole thing, I thought. There was no way Noah had turned into a bear in the blink of an eye right in front of me.
It just wasn’t possible.
Stunned and dazed, I felt like a zombie and spent most of my time alone in my room, going over and over what had happened.
I couldn’t even begin to think about telling my mom and dad about what happened. They would’ve thought I’d gone mad, most likely would have locked me up or at least thought I was on drugs, prescribing them for myself—I was after all a doctor with access to all sort of medical hallucinogens. No, the best thing would be to forget it ever happened and not even mention it.
My thoughts of Noah and the incredible sight that I’d seen completely dwarfed what Simon had done, and to be honest, I was glad about that. I didn’t need to think about how he’d almost kidnapped me. But Simon had been afraid… the shock on his face clearly indicated that he’d seen something, too. Something that was scary enough to cause him to flee as fast as he did. Had he seen the same thing I had? He was probably the only person I could ask about the whole experience, but speaking to him again was the last thing I wanted to do, let alone inviting him over to have a little chat about my possible hallucination. He’d only use me reaching out to him as an excuse to worm his way back into my life.
For most of the night, I lay awake thinking, playing it over and over in my mind, but I must’ve eventually drifted off to sleep. When I woke the next morning to the smells of Christmas floating around the house, it all seemed like a dream, a mirage that was fading away. I let it drift away from the corners of my mind and got ready for the day ahead.
But there was still the memory of the kiss that had shocked me to my core. I hadn't expected Noah to grab me like that, or for me to respond so passionately, and though it was clear that my body wanted it, logically it couldn’t have come at a worse time.
I’d just gone out of heavy relationship, for God’s sake, did I really need to throw myself into something new? Especially when there was a chance I was actually losing my marbles.
Maybe I could ask Noah about it when he arrived today, but the more I thought about it, the more it sounded foolish. I mean what was I supposed to say? “Did you turn into a bear yesterday? How about some honey on toast? And how about those Chicago Bears, eh?” I couldn’t just drop that into casual conversation without coming off like a complete and utter nut job. There would definitely be no second kiss if I did that… And Lord knows, I really wanted that second kiss.
* * *
“Stop fidgeting and make yourself useful,” my mom said as I paced back and forth, occasionally glancing out the windows to see if Noah was on his way over.
“What’s wrong with you today? You been very quiet and weird since yesterday… Something happen between you and Noah?”
I hated lying to my mom, but I wasn’t about to tell her the truth about everything that had happened with Simon, Noah and the lumbering black bear that had charged Simon. No, I would have to bend the truth a little bit or avoid her question altogether. “Nothing’s wrong, just hungry.”
“Yeah, but hungry for what?” My dad interrupted from over the corner in his easy chair. My mom gasped, and he broke out into chuckles as I glared at him.
“Dad! It’s nothing of the sort. I just wish he’d hurry up so we can begin to eat. You did tell him what time to come over, right?” I asked my mom.
“Course I did, he’s probably just running a little bit late. Go set the table, and I’m sure by the time you’re done with that he’ll be here,” she said w
ith a smile.
I did what she asked, got out the cutlery, grabbed the napkins and the condiments and set the table. We were ready for a Christmas meal, and as if on cue there was a loud knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” I said as I bolted for the door.
I swung it open and came face-to-face with a mountain of muscle, but disappointingly, this time he was fully clothed.
“Hi,” I said as I got lost in his vortex-like green eyes. I could swear he was trying to hypnotize me with his gaze.
“Hi,” he repeated, the corner of his mouth edging up into a smile. “Nice sweater,” he teased as he noticed my rather festive and cheesy novelty Christmas attire.
Our eyes were locked on one another’s and I could feel my heart rate pick up and march around my head. My knees threatened to buckle again as I stood there looking at him. Jesus, it was like I ninety years old and needed a walker!
“Well, aren’t you going to let him in?” my dad asked from his chair by the fire.
“Oh yeah, right…” I replied and moved so that he could enter the cabin.
“Fantastic, you’re here, Noah. And just in time, too,” my mom said as she greeted him. I closed the door on the cold outside and stood like a nervous teenager. I had no idea what to do with my hands, so I clamped them together to stop them from trembling. Why on earth was he having this kind of effect over me?
“Well, take your coat off, make yourself at home. Dinner will be ready in just a moment, but can I get you something to drink?” my mom asked.
“Thanks, that would be great. Beer, if you have it,” Noah replied as he unbuttoned his jacket to reveal a smart shirt beneath. He moved closer to me as I stood by the coat rack. “Oh, and before I forget, Mrs. Taylor, this is for you. Merry Christmas.” Noah handed over a wrapped box to my mom then turned towards my father. “And this, Mr. Taylor, is for you.”
“Oh you shouldn’t have,” my mom said, but I could tell she was pleased at the kind gesture. She opened her gift and gave a squeal of delight as she took in the box of chocolates, which were her favorites.
“Very nice. This is just perfect, Noah, thank you,” my dad said as he opened what looked to be a small bottle of whiskey.
I’d completely misjudged Noah. I thought he was a brash, aggressive and rude individual, but so far his actions over the course of two days were proving that I’d been completely wrong.
While my mom and dad were mooning over their gifts, Noah silently moved to my side. I could feel my skin prickle with goose bumps as he got closer. He bent his head towards my ear and whispered, “You’ll get your present later.” And then he smirked with delight as I went completely red in the face.
My mom approached us with a huge grin on her face, and she began to raise and lower her eyebrows in quick succession. “Mom? Are you OK?” It looked like she was having some sort of seizure.
“Look up,” she said with glee. Both Noah and I titled our heads back to find what she wanted us to see. I shook my head… she’d planned it; she was such a schemer!
Staring at a bunch of mistletoe above my head, I sighed. I really didn’t want to kiss Noah in front of my parents, but before I could protest, Noah leaned forward without hesitation, took me in his arms and gave me a deep kiss that left me wanting more.
My mom squealed quietly, trying to hide her happiness at the situation, while my dad grumbled over in the corner. “Get a room, you two,” he said as he poured himself a whiskey. “Fancy one before dinner?” He said offering a glass to Noah, to which Noah nodded. He detangled himself from me and moved over to the couch to sit with my dad.
I was breathless again and couldn’t believe I’d gotten that second kiss I’d been dreaming of… though the location, in front of my parents, wouldn’t have been my first choice.
I clamped my hand over my mouth and excused myself to the bathroom for a moment. I needed to sort my head and get my blushing under control before I could look Noah in the eye again.
“Katie, dinner is ready,” my mom called.
I stepped out and joined the three of them sitting around a simple but festive oak table. Noah grinned up at me as if he were the cat that just got the cream as I sat in the chair directly across from him; I’m sure he was enjoying seeing me squirm under his stare.
“Thank you for inviting me. This looks delicious, Mrs. Taylor,” he said, taking his eyes off me for a second.
“Oh, dear, please call me Jackie. There’s no need to be so formal; I can tell you’re a nice lad.” My mom winked at him, and my mouth dropped open. She actually winked at him! And for a split-second I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.
We spent the next few minutes in comfortable silence as we tucked into our meal, but soon, as I knew she would, my mom started asking Noah some embarrassing questions. I had a feeling she was doing it for my benefit, and I wasn’t about to stop her; I was actually pleased when she started to grill him about himself.
“So, Noah. Tell us a little about yourself,” my mom asked.
He placed his knife and fork down and considered the question. “Not sure there is much to say, to be honest.”
“Have you decided if you’re going to stay here permanently? Or will you be selling the cabin?”
“Oh, no. I wouldn’t dream of selling the cabin. But yes, I’ll be putting down roots here. I got a job working at the new lumber mill. I think I’ve had enough of the city to last a lifetime,” Noah replied.
“There’s a new lumber mill?” I asked. It was the first time I’d heard of such a thing on Scarfell, and couldn’t help but feel annoyed at the thought of the trees being cut down to feed some big business.
“Yeah, the guy who bought the area is setting it up. The rumor is he’s loaded.”
“Wait, what?” I looked to my mom and dad; surely they’d know about this. “Someone bought the mountain? Like the whole mountain… is that even possible?”
My mom sighed and patted my hand, which left me even more confused, because she’d only do that if she were about to deliver some bad news. “I’m afraid so.”
“We were going to tell you in the New Year, because we didn’t want you to be sad while we were here, but this will be our last year in the cabin for Christmas.”
“Why? I don’t understand.”
“Well, the new owner—”
“The rich one?”
She nodded. “Yeah, he’s wanting to turn the whole place into some sort of private retreat. He wouldn’t go into details. But basically what it means for us is that we won’t be able to rent the place each year like we normally would.
“This is bullshit! He can’t…”
“I’m afraid he can, honey.”
“Does this affect you too, Noah?” I asked, feeling the anger rising. This was the one place I got to go each year that enabled me to feel like myself. Even if it were only for a few days, this place was like a sanctuary for me.
Noah had gone silent, but shook his head in response.
“How?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to put my foot in it,” he said with a look of remorse.
“How do you get to stay, and we don’t?” I said again, demanding he answer me.
“It’s complicated,” was all he would offer up as a reply.
Before I could question him any further, a knock sounded at the door.
We all stopped what we were doing and stared in the direction that the sound came from.
My mom frowned. “We’re not expecting anyone else, are we?” she said with a slightly nervous laugh.
“I’ll go see who it is.” My dad pushed back his chair and went to the door as another, more persistent knock rang out.
From where we were seated in the small dining room off the kitchen, we couldn’t see who was at the door. But we all sure could hear who it was.
“Oh, we weren’t expecting you, Simon,” my dad said in greeting.
“I need to see Katie,” I heard Simon demand.
“Will he not take a bloody hin
t?” I said under my breath.
Noah and I exchanged a silent look as I got to my feet. But I didn’t need his help, or at least I didn’t think I would, and so I shook my head when I saw that Noah was going to follow me.
“Thanks, Dad, I’ll deal with this,” I said. My dad nodded as he passed. “Shout if you need me,” he whispered.
Once my dad was out of the hallway I turned my attention to Simon. I’d been fooled into liking him, into liking the facade he’d created for everyone to see, but now, piece by piece, it was all starting to melt away. And now I could truly see who he was—a controlling piece of shit who would most likely stop at nothing to get his way. But he didn’t really know me either, or perhaps he hadn’t been paying attention. I wasn’t some pushover who was going to lie down and let him control me or fall for his pathetic attempts to win me back. No, those bridges were burnt to a crisp.
“I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again. Why are you here?”
“I wanted to give you another chance to reconsider,” he replied and motioned towards me. His fingers almost grazed my cheek, but I flinched away just in time.
“Don’t you fucking touch me,” I hissed.
“Don’t be like this, Katie. I know you want me. You can’t just give up on us. I won’t let you.”
I raised my eyebrows. “That’s where you are wrong, Simon. You disgust me; the fact that you’ve come here makes me sick. I don’t know what I have to do to make you understand that, but I think I’ve been perfectly clear: I want you to leave and to never contact me again.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying, Katie, my love.”
I breathed in a lungful of air and counted to ten. Was he deaf? Or just stupid?
“Everything OK?” A pleasant voice asked from behind me.
Simon’s face turned pale when he saw the huge man approach. But he stood his ground. “Everything is fine. This doesn’t concern you. This is between my fiancée and me.”
Sweet as can be, Noah turned on the charm. “How about we go outside and take a walk?” he said.
