by Lauren Helms
Almost ninety minutes later, we emerge from our gaming box as Call of Battle world champions. It was a tough and a very close win, but one we deserved. We won the game, 4-3. Because of my eleven kill streak, we earned a victory by more than a hundred points in the last Search and Destroy. That high K/D won me the MVP award. In total, we’re going to take home two trophies, including the MVP one, championship rings and $400,000 prize money, making this by far the most we've brought home from a tournament to date.
The last three days have been crazy, busy, and stressful but so much fun. But I just haven’t been able to shake that something was missing. Although, if I really let myself think about it, I know exactly what that something is.
It's the gorgeous brunette that broke my heart only weeks ago. She should be here with me. If we hadn’t broken up, I had actually planned on asking her to come to the world finals with me. She didn’t give us a chance, though. I like to pretend that she blindsided me with the breakup, but if I'm honest, I could feel it in my gut that it was going to happen. Ever since that first weekend we traveled. I fucked up, and I didn’t even realize it until it was too late.
Being without Morgan these past weeks has been really hard. I miss her so much. The first two weeks were the hardest, I was a shit to everyone. Link and I got into it over something stupid; I can't even remember what it was about. Link and I have always been like brothers, but we've never fought the way Wade and I did growing up. It wasn't until a couple days after our fight, Link and Simon sat my grumpy ass down and said that I needed to snap out of it, that Morgan was just another girl in a big sea of thousands. That I could have any other girl, I just needed to move on. But they didn't get it. I only wanted one girl, and that was Morgan. They didn't understand that in the short time we were together, I fell in love with her. It was going to take some time to get over her if it was even possible.
I had decided that since the World Finals were coming up, I needed to focus my time and energy on that. I would bide my time until I could approach Morgan and try to talk some sense into her. But attempting to do that while blindsiding her out at a bar, ended in a disaster. Not to mention, I almost punched some dickwad who was trying to hit on her.
So much for my chance to win her back.
***
We end up in the hotel restaurant for a late dinner with our families and friends that flew out for the tournament. I spend a lot of time thinking about Morgan and how she isn’t here tonight. It is starting to get to me. While I’m thrilled my family is here to celebrate such a huge night for us, I just want to escape to my hotel room and attempt to sleep.
Our group was so large that we have taken up several tables. It’s getting late, so the restaurant isn’t busy. Everyone is mingling and moving around the tables, while I'm sitting here, staring at my half-empty glass of beer. I’m sure I've got a grimace on my face, but it's not until someone sits down at my right and elbows me as I get whacked on the side of my head from my left.
“What the…” I grumble as I lift my head to see Bernie on my right and my brother to my left.
“Serves you right, little brother. You're a party pooper. At your own party,” Wade chuckles.
“Am not, I’m just tired,” I lie.
“Right,” he drags out the word.
“Leave him alone, Wade,” Bernie glares across the table at him. “Are you thinking about Morgan?” she asks pointedly.
I open my mouth to speak when Wade does it for me, “Tsk, tsk, Bern, of course, he is thinking about her. Are we even allowed to say her name? Or is it still ‘She-who-shall-not-be-named?” he offers, completely deadpan.
“Dick,” I mutter under my breath.
“Wade,” Bernie scolds him. She places her hand on my arm that is cradling my glass. “Dex, seriously, I think it’s been long enough, if you want to try talking to her again, you should.”
I take a deep breath, “I don’t know. She seemed really, really pissed off the last time I tried.”
“Well, maybe because she wasn’t expecting to see you on her first night out since you guys split,” she urges.
“Or, maybe it’s because you tried to beat up the guy she was trying to hook up with,” Wade jabs.
“Really, when did you become such an asshole, Wade?” I growl.
“Guys,” Bernie warns in a harsh, flat whisper.
“No, you’re right, my bad. I guess I became an asshole when you got your heart broken and stopped being yourself. It’s getting old.”
Bernie sucks in a sharp breath, I just glare at him.
“Wade, we came over here to cheer him up, not piss him off,” she hisses.
“I’m his brother, it's my right to tell him when he is being dramatic. Now, I’ve done my part, you can do yours,” he throws back.
“Fine,” she huffs. She shifts her gaze back to me and loses the annoyance from her tone. She and Wade have always gotten along, so I’m not surprised that they devised a plan. But he’s always doing the opposite of what she expects him to do, so while I’m pissed at him right now, I feel for her, she was trying to be helpful, and he ruined it by being an ass.
“Look, I just…we are worried about you, Dex,” her tone sad and concerned.
I try to compose my anger towards my brother and force a smile at Bernie. I take a moment to think about what I want to say so I can end this conversation and head to my room.
“I know you are, Bern, but I’ll be alright. I just got knocked off my axis when I lost her.”
“Do you love her?” she whispers.
I’m staring down at my beer again, warm in my hands from gripping the glass for so long.
“More than anything,” I croak.
“If you love her so much, why don’t you do something about it, little brother?” Wade asks he clamps a reassuring hand on my shoulder. All trace of asshole gone.
“I scared. I’m scared I imagined the whole thing, and she never felt the same way for me.”
“Dex,” Bernie tisks. “She felt the same way, and that scared her. She didn’t handle it the right way, but she so totally felt the same way. And I’m willing to bet she still does. She’s a worse mess than you are, bud.”
And that rips my heart apart even more. Knowing that she is still hurting just as bad as I am, worse from the sound of it. I know Morgan is the one who ended it, but I can’t help but feel that I did this to her. I know I was moving too fast. I shouldn’t have taken her to meet my parents. I knew it was too soon. I knew she was struggling with the intensity of our relationship. I knew.
I sigh. “Thanks, guys. Really. I’m sorry I’ve been a such a downer. I’ll work on it.” I force a smile at Bernie. I finally let go of my glass, push my chair back, and stand. I clap a hand on Wade’s shoulder, “I’m heading to bed. Been a big day. Great day, but I’m wiped.”
After saying good night to my parents and the rest of the group, I head upstairs to my hotel room. I’m sharing it with Link, but he won’t be coming up anytime soon. I need to make a plan. I need to figure out what I’m going to do. I can’t keep going this way. If only because I’m going to drive my friends mad.
If Bernie was right about Morgan being miserable, maybe, just maybe I still have a chance.
Chapter Thirty-four
Morgan
I wake up at like, 5:00 a.m. Monday morning, almost two hours before my alarm is supposed to go off. My plan is to go to Dex's apartment right from work. I honestly don't know if he will want to get back together, but I need to at least apologize to him for the way I acted both during the breakup and last week at the bar. I think either outcome will provide me with the closure I need to move on with my life.
I am surprised at seeing Gia when I enter the kitchen. She is never up this early since she is a freelance writer and blogger. She tends to be a night owl and sleeps in late since she doesn’t have a work commute. Seeing her up before 6:00 a.m. is unusual.
“Wow, I didn’t know you could function this early in the morning,” I say nudging her
. She’s staring lifelessly down at her favorite mug as it slowly fills with some extra-strong smelling coffee.
“I haven’t gone to bed yet,” she says, as if she’s in a trance.
“What? Why?” I pull a banana out of the fruit bowl next to the coffee maker. “Why not go to bed now instead of downing all that caffeine? You look exhausted.”
“Can’t. I’m on this crazy deadline. I told you about that huge entertainment news site that I want to write for, right?” She finally looks at me, as though I’ve broken the Keurig spell she was under. She looks at me with droopy eyes and an electric smile, “They want me to produce several articles for them on a trial basis. They are all due today at noon. And if they like what I write, I’ll get a trial run as a contributor.”
“Oh my gosh, Gia, that is awesome!” I squeal, leaning in and squeezing an arm around her shoulder.
“Yeah, but don’t get too excited. I’ll get paid peanuts and write the crap fluffy pieces their full-time staff doesn’t want. But at least it’s a foot in the door.”
“Whatever, I’m still excited for you. I see TV premieres and award shows in your future, Gia,” I squeal again.
She smiles and snags her coffee as I start devouring my banana. I’m really not hungry, but I need to put something in my twisting stomach.
“So, I know you normally get up early, but why are you up this early?” Gia asks.
“Couldn’t sleep, so I figured I would just go into work early. Get some work done, then maybe break out early. I mean, ick, Mondays.” I try to say with nonchalance.
An eyebrow shoots up over her coffee mug as she sips, “Really?”
I shrug, “Yup! I’ll just be heading out now. Good luck today getting your writing done.”
I pick up my purse from the table and head to the door.
“Right,” she follows me into the living room as she drags out the word. “You do realize it’s still dark out, right? Why on Earth do you want to leave now? Why not hang out and watch some TV? Read some? There’s no good reason to leave this early.”
Trying to play it cool, I agree, “You’re right, silly me. I didn’t realize it was so early. Catching up on world events sounds like a great idea.” I plop down on the couch and grab the remote to flip on the TV.
“If you say so, Morgan. But you’re acting kind of twitchy, almost like you’re nervous about something. Actually, I’m be willing to guess you are gonna go see Dex after work and just don’t want to tell me in case it doesn’t go well. But then again, what do I know?”
I catch the smirk on her face as she turns down the hall and says over her shoulder, “Good luck, Mo.”
I just shake my head and try and focus on the local news. She knows me too well to believe I'd really go into work this early to well…work.
I last about forty-five minutes watching the news. I decide to walk to work, to kill some time, plus it's beautiful out already, now that the sun is up. The drive to and from the office is only about eight minutes, but traffic can be a pain, so walking is a nice change of pace, since it’s only a twenty-five-minute walk. I walk home from work several times a month, mostly when I'm knee-deep in an audiobook and want the extra time to listen to it.
I've got my current playlist pumping through my earbuds as I walk. I get closer and closer to work, and I can't shake the feeling that something big is going to happen today. Since I woke up antsy, my nerves have nothing to do but get worse. In a split-second decision, I decide to go to Dex's now; there’s no way I can wait all day to see him. In a quick minute, I call in sick to work. I call my boss and leave a message on her phone letting her know I'll be out today.
I get ready to hail a cab when I realize that it's only 7:30 a.m., and that's way too early to show up and try to win back your boyfriend. So, I guess I’ll kill some more time and walk a few blocks to the nearest Starbucks. I’ll grab a seat and attempt to work through the book I'm reading.
I order myself a white chocolate peppermint mocha and find a comfy chair by a window. I quickly realize, that reading just isn’t gonna work. I stare out of the window and think about what I’m going to say to Dex when I’m finally face-to-face with him.
I watch the growingly busy sidewalks outside the shop when my phone vibrates with an incoming email. I realize I’ve been daydreaming for more than thirty minutes, and it’s past 8:00 a.m., so I throw away my empty mocha cup and order Dex a coffee. I’ll come bearing gifts. Maybe that will earn me some points this early in the morning.
I’m about twenty minutes away from Dex if I walk, but I decide to jump in a cab. It only takes a few short moments before I’m climbing into the back of one. The cabbie is texting and doesn’t seem to hear me when I give him the address. Ok, I’ll wait, I guess.
Finally pulling his eye from his phone, he asks in an exasperated tone where I’m going. I rattle off the address again and lean back into the seat. The cab pulls away from the curb with a screech. Dang. I picked the wrong cab this morning.
Traffic this time of morning is stop and go at times. And I swear I’m getting whiplash from all the jerky stops. Dex’s piping hot coffee has almost ended up in my lap twice now.
Finally, we pull off on a side street away from the busy street we were stuck on. Good, going a reasonable speed with less break checking sounds good. My stomach starts to twist in knots the closer we get to Dex’s apartment. When those little butterflies deep in my belly start fluttering again, and I know I’m doing the right thing. I smile down at the coffee in my hands when the cabbie suddenly lets out a strangled, “Fuck!”
My head snaps up to I see the train barreling towards us as we cross the tracks. Only seconds pass before the massive, 200-ton train rams into the back-end of the cab. The coffee in my grip flies from my hand as I’m flung across the back seat and a scream is ripped from my throat.
The last thing I feel is my head slamming against the window. The last thing I hear is the sound of the car coming to a smashing stop.
Chapter Thirty-five
Dex
Wade and I, along with Simon and Bernie, decided to stay a couple extra days in New Orleans to do some sightseeing. We stayed out way too late last night, and now we find ourselves in a little café for breakfast. Well, maybe it’s brunch. It’s definitely closer to lunch at this point. Wade and I share one side of the booth, and Bernie and Simon are on the other. Yesterday, things were a little stressed between Wade and me, but after spending the day with our parents, things are back to normal. He’s not being an asshole, and I’m trying not to be a dramatic shit.
Link had to head back to Chicago yesterday since he had some freelance work deadline to make. So, it’s really quiet while we nurse our unfortunate hangovers.
We enjoy easy conversation about our plans for the day. We are split on whether or not to spend the day in the French Quarter or go to the National WWII Museum. Simon and I vote French Quarter, but Wade is a history buff, and for some reason, Bernie is siding with him.
We finally agree on spending the day in the French Quarter, and make our way out of the cafe. My phone vibrates in my pocket but forget about it when Simon and Wade pull my attention to something through the store window next to us.
We’ve just started walking down the street when I hear Bernie behind me say, "Dex. Dex, stop." Her voice is soft but full of panic. I slowly turn around and face her as she looks up from her phone. Panic fills her eyes when she says, "Ruby just texted me a 911 text. It’s Morgan.”
And my heart stops.
I choke out, “Is she ok?” I search Bernie’s face for more details. All I find is panic in her eyes.
Simon and Wade move in closer to us, and Bernie answers, “I don’t know. The text didn’t say, I’m waiting for a reply.”
Suddenly, I remember getting a text when I yank my phone out of my pocket. It wasn’t a text, it was a call from Gia, but there was no voicemail. I call her back. The phone rings twice before it’s answered.
"Hello?" Her voice is panicked and sounds thi
ck.
I clear my throat, "It’s Dex. Tell me what's going on."
She starts to cry, and talks too fast, and I can't understand her. "Gia. Calm down,” I say, “I can't understand what you are saying. “But she doesn't seem to hear me. I look up at Bernie and say, "She won't stop crying, and I can't understand her."
Simon grabs the phone and holds it up to his ear, "Calm down, Gia. I need you to calm down." His voice is forceful but gentle at the same time. Like he knows just how to handle her when she’s like this. It seems to work because she says something and he replies, "I know, but we need to know what's going on, and we can't do that if we can't understand what you’re saying." After a beat, he hands the phone back to me.
"Gia, it's me again," I say
In a much calmer tone, but still trying to catch her breath, she says, "Morgan walked to work this morning. But somehow she ended up in a cab in the opposite direction of work, and there was an accident. Dex, the cab was hit by a train.”
Black fuzzy spots start to take over my vision. It feels like I’ve been sucker-punched in the gut and have to crouch down to keep from falling over.
“How bad is it?” I croak.
On a shaky breath, “It’s bad. Really bad.”
Oh God. I dip my head, close my eyes, and struggle for breath. Wade is kneeling in front of me, his hands on both my shoulders.
“We are going to the hospital now. Me and Ruby. Link is with us. Where are you, Dex?” Gia sobs.
"I'm coming back, I'll call you as soon as we land, please keep me updated." She sniffs and says, “Ok.” And we hang up.
"I have to get on the first plane home, right now," I say.
"Yes, of course. You’re not going by yourself," Bernie says as we start to walk back the way we came.
“Looks like there are two seats open on the next flight to Chicago. I just bought them. But it leaves in less than an hour, so we need to go,” Simon says still engrossed in his phone.
