If she didn’t share some of her story, they couldn’t get closer. She did want to get close to this man. Maybe if she gave him a little bit at a time, he could come to accept who she was. He could integrate it with who she intended to be.
“I ran away from my aunt in Seattle, found a room here and a job waitressing. One day I got sick and ended up in the E.R. That led me to Carrie.”
“She volunteers at Portland General, doesn’t she?”
“Yes, she does. We met and connected, and that’s how we became friends.” That was the shortened version of her story, but Alan seemed to accept it.
Rising to her feet before he could ask any more questions, she said, “Let me help you to your room.”
He swore and grumbled, “I hate this.”
As he came to his feet, she slipped her arm around his waist. “Nobody likes being sick.”
“I have to make a pit stop in the bathroom. And I don’t need help with that!”
She grinned. “Are you sure? If you end up in a heap on the floor, I’ll have to call Ralph.”
“Heaven forbid,” he muttered. “Believe me. I’ll be fine.”
A few moments later she left him standing in the bathroom doorway. “Where are your pajamas?”
“I don’t wear pajamas.”
After she absorbed that, she announced, “I’ll go to the kitchen and get you more soda and medicine. If you’re under the covers when I come back in, not wearing pajamas won’t matter.”
She thought she heard him swear again when she left the room, but she wasn’t sure. She was worried about him, but knew his pride was important to him. If he couldn’t manage, she could always call Ralph…or Brian.
No, Brian wouldn’t like her being here like this. Would he understand? She hoped so. It was simply something she had to do.
To pay Alan back for his kindness in Texas?
Yes. She was simply being a Good Samaritan but she was also acting on her growing feelings for Alan. She couldn’t deny them any longer.
She took her time in the kitchen, refilling Alan’s glass with fresh ice and soda, toasting another half bagel, shaking out two more pills. When she returned to the bedroom, he had the covers pulled up to his chin and looked as if he was shivering again.
Walking into his bathroom, she went to the long narrow cupboard that lined the wall next to the shower. Now she opened it and groped around a little, finding what she was looking for—a heat pack she could warm in the microwave. As athletic as Alan was, she figured he might have one on hand.
A short time later, she’d wrapped the heat pack in a towel and tucked it in by his side. After she took his temperature—it was 101 now—she asked, “Is there anything else you need?”
“I’ll be fine. Go on home.”
“You’re beginning to sound like a broken record. I’m not going anywhere until I’m sure you’re on the mend.”
“You need your rest, too.”
“I know. I’m going to stretch out on the sofa. I’ll come in and check on you in a little while.”
He closed his eyes. “How am I going to repay you for this?”
“That’s just it, Alan. You don’t have to.” She watched him for a while longer, and seeing that he was dozing off, she went back to the living room, her heart feeling warm and even a little light…because he needed her.
The living room was as black as midnight when Lisa awakened. For a moment she wondered where she was, and then she remembered—Alan’s penthouse. A night-light glowed in the hallway. She went down the corridor toward it and stepped into his bedroom. He was turned on his side, facing the windows, sound asleep.
Should she wake him to give him more medication? Probably not. He needed rest. But what if he awakened and needed her, and she fell sound asleep again?
The king-size bed was huge, and Alan was under the covers on one side. The spread was undisturbed on the other. Sleepy herself, she stretched out on top of the covers and listened to him breathe. If she stayed here, she’d feel him move if he became restless, if he had another bad dream, if he needed anything. She’d be right here.
Yawning widely, she assured herself sleeping beside Alan was the only practical thing to do. Besides being practical, she just wanted to be near him. It was easier to admit that truth to herself now.
When Lisa woke the following morning, everything registered at once. She was still on top of the covers, but she was rolled close to Alan, her arm across his chest. His hand was on the back of her head, as if he’d been running his fingers through her hair. They were cuddled together as if they’d…as if they’d—
As she tried to disentangle herself, he stirred and opened his eyes. “Don’t panic,” he told her, as if he’d known she was about to. “You’re still on top of the covers and completely clothed.”
She certainly was, thank goodness. But then she saw the edge of her tattoo peeking out from under the sleeve of her sweater.
She quickly jerked her arm from his chest, scooted over a few inches and sat up against the headboard. “I don’t know what happened. I came in to check on you and just decided to lie here in case you needed anything. I must have fallen sound asleep.”
“And the moon did the rest?” he teased. “The pull of gravity and all?”
“You’re feeling better,” she said almost accusingly.
He laughed. “I certainly hope so. Yesterday isn’t a day I’d want to repeat. Well, at least most parts of it.” He hiked himself up against the headboard as well, and the sheet dropped down to his navel.
Lisa swallowed hard, knowing she should get out of the bed…Alan’s bed. She couldn’t seem to make herself move.
“The dizziness is gone?” she asked.
“I won’t know for sure until I stand up, but it’s probably not a good idea, since I’m naked under here.”
She felt like an idiot, in way over her head. Maybe that was because she and Thad had always fumbled in the dark, never really seeing each other naked. They’d never discussed being naked, or making love and what should come after.
Making love.
That got her out of Alan’s bed. She scooted to the edge and was on her feet, knowing she was blushing. “You should probably take it easy today. I’ll run down to that convenience store and get you some groceries.”
He leaned forward and the sheet fell below his navel. Her gaze dropped and she couldn’t look away.
“Lisa, you don’t have to buy me groceries. I’ll get something later.”
With effort, she focused on his face. “You might be dizzy when you get out of bed. It’ll take me ten minutes, tops. I’ll be right back, then I’ll go away and let you alone. I have to go home and do laundry, finish unpacking—”
Before she could compute what was happening, Alan had pulled the spread from the bed and stood with it wrapped around his waist. “Thank you for staying last night.”
Her heart was doing that double-time beat again and she could hardly catch her breath. “You’re welcome.”
“I know you’re probably not going to believe this, but I can’t remember the last time somebody cared enough to go out of their way for me.”
“You probably haven’t been sick very much.”
“No, I haven’t, but your staying here last night meant a lot. So don’t try to brush it off as if it didn’t matter.”
“I’m sorry about…the way we woke up.”
He grinned, looking absolutely rakish with morning stubble, tousled hair and the spread wrapped around him like a toga. “Apparently I was enjoying having you in my arms. But we both know all the reasons why letting that happen again wouldn’t be a good idea.”
Yes, they did know all the reasons. “We have to be practical,” she agreed. Ungluing her gaze from his chest, she hurried on. “And speaking of being practical, do you want toast or English muffins?”
Seeing he wouldn’t deter her from her mission to feed him, he replied, “Toast will be fine.”
Then before he either let the spread dro
p or walked across the room to her, she rushed out to the living room. Nothing had happened between them last night…absolutely nothing. He hadn’t even kissed her again!
Yet she still remembered the brush of his chest hair under her fingertips. She was falling for Alan Barrett whether she wanted to or not.
Lisa held Timothy as he pointed to one of the mountain goats at the Portland Zoo Tuesday afternoon and his mouth rounded in an O. He delighted in everything here and she tried to remember each expression on his face, each giggle, each sound because he’d discovered something new and exciting for a three-year-old.
As she glanced over her shoulder, she caught sight of Carrie, who’d obviously been watching her. There was a little furrow on her brow, and Lisa suspected what that furrow was about. Did Carrie wonder if she was doing the right thing, letting Lisa into Timothy’s life? Did she ask herself every day if Lisa might eventually want her child back?
Lisa could never do that to this woman who had given her so much. Not only a home and a family, but trust and love and hope. She would never do that to Timothy, because he deserved to always be secure. He deserved to always know who his mom and dad were. Carrie and Brian were his mom and dad. Lisa had given him birth, but Carrie was his mom.
Reinforcing that conclusion, Timothy wiggled in Lisa’s arms, wanting down. He ran to Carrie. “Mommy, Mommy! Look, look at the goats.”
Carrie hunkered down with him. “I see the goats. Maybe we should count them.”
Lisa felt as if she were playing hooky today, even though she wasn’t. Because she’d gone to Texas and given up part of her weekend, Brian had insisted she take a day off this week. After studying his schedule and seeing which day was the lightest, she’d chosen today. She’d been so tempted yesterday to call Alan to see how he was feeling, yet she knew she shouldn’t. She also knew she was scared. She was falling for him big time and leaving herself wide open to rejection and abandonment, all over again. His life was full of work and his daughter, and maybe even his ex-wife, for all Lisa knew. Sherri was a beautiful woman, in his league, his age. The age difference seemed to be a huge impediment to him. It wasn’t to Lisa. Not anymore. In fact, she’d figured out she was attracted to his maturity, his experience, his view of life.
After the mountain goats, Carrie pushed Timothy’s stroller as they visited the bears and then the monkeys. For February, the day was beautiful—unusually bright, though clouds often skittered across the sun. They’d stopped to watch the elephants when suddenly they had company.
Brian grinned broadly as he kissed Carrie and then stopped to talk to his son in his stroller. “We thought we’d join you. What do you think? Are you going to show your dad what you like best about the zoo?”
While Brian was talking to Timothy, Carrie turned to Alan who had stopped a few feet away. “Hi, Alan. This is a surprise.”
Though Alan addressed Carrie, his gaze was on Lisa, on her red jacket, on her jeans, on her face. He tipped his Stetson back with his forefinger. “We were in a meeting that finished early not too far from here. Brian mentioned you and Lisa were taking Timothy to the zoo today. I had something I wanted to discuss with Lisa, so I tagged along. Actually, I’m hoping she’s had enough of the zoo by now. Have you?”
She didn’t know what they had to discuss. Business? Or something personal? A bit warily, she asked, “What did you have in mind?”
“Since the sky’s almost blue and the weather’s cooperating, I thought we could take a drive up to Bridal Veil Falls State Park.”
Brian glanced over at Alan, looking worried, but Carrie said, “That sounds like a lovely idea.”
Bridal Veil Falls were magnificent. Carrie had told Lisa that’s where Brian had proposed to her. Lisa’s heart thudded hard as she wondered why Alan wanted to drive her there.
Moving a little closer to him, she asked, “Is this a date?”
“Close to it. Do you want to come?”
Oh, she wanted to come. But should she?
Stop being a coward, she told herself. At least risk finding out how interested he is in you.
Fifteen minutes later, Lisa was seated in Alan’s Jaguar as they headed toward the park. They’d been silent thus far and now she commented, “If you want to talk, we don’t have to go to Bridal Veil Falls to do that. We can go to my apartment or your condo.”
She felt his shift of attention for a few moments. “Do you think that’s wise? I thought someplace neutral where we can’t get caught up in body heat might be a good idea. Besides, I haven’t been here since college.”
“The falls are magnificent,” she agreed with a little sigh. She had a feeling that today all of her attention would be on Alan, not on the falls.
After he parked, they took the upper trail that led to the viewing platform. A wooden railing on either side of the walkway protected visitors as they strolled to the overlook. Lisa and Alan were the only sightseers here right now.
There was an awesome feeling about the place—the high rock cliffs; the white-capped green-blue river below, the double-decker falls, which indeed did look like a bridal veil, especially when the wind blew the misty water. Each step Lisa and Alan took seemed to bring them into contact, either with elbows, hips or glances. They didn’t talk as they walked the path, and she was glad about that. Talking would only break the mood and the beauty. She didn’t know what he was going to say to her. This might be his attempt to let her down easy. Bring her to a beautiful setting and tell her they were absolutely wrong for each other. After all, they were, weren’t they?
Finally standing on the viewing platform, she was glad for the few rays of sun that managed to seep through the clouds and spray light over the water and rocks.
Alan stood next to her as they gazed at the falls, letting the natural noises of nature surround them—the splash of water, the rush of wind, the call of gulls.
“I used to come up here to put things in perspective,” he said, finally breaking the silence.
“Problems seem smaller up here?” she asked.
“I seem smaller up here. While I’m working and living and planning, I think my life is all there is. My concerns fill up my world and I forget there are places where silence and calm can solve problems…where making a deal doesn’t matter…where there’s something bigger than I can ever hope to be.”
“Are you a man of faith?” she asked.
“I went to church weekly until I went to college. What I learned stuck. Now I just concentrate on trying to do the right thing whether it’s in business or my personal life. What about you?”
“I went to church with my parents until they died. Aunt Edna couldn’t get out much and my world had fallen apart then. Going to church just didn’t seem to have the power to solve my problems.”
“What problems were those?”
His blue eyes were so serious and she knew he wanted something deeper from her than what she’d been giving him. But if she gave him that, she was afraid she’d lose the connection that had developed, and suddenly it meant so much. She respected Alan in a way she’d never respected a man before.
And suddenly, with all her heart, she knew she didn’t just respect him. She was in love with him!
The revelation filled her with joy and happiness…but also fear.
Trying to force all of the emotion into a box she could open later, she confided in Alan.
“I felt as if I didn’t have a place anywhere, as if there was no one I could turn to. That’s why after I graduated, I came back to Portland on my own.”
“That was gutsy.”
“Don’t think I’m brave, Alan. If I was, I would have—” Her voice caught. She had prayed and prayed and prayed about what to do about the baby and what was best for the child she carried. When Brian and Carrie had come into her life, they’d been a sign…at least that’s what she’d thought. True bravery would have been to keep her child.
Alan’s arms went around Lisa then, protecting her from the wind, protecting her from her tears, from sel
f-doubts that seem to be growing larger each day rather than smaller.
“I think you’re much more mature than any twenty-one year old I’ve ever met. But in spite of that maturity, in spite of your conquer-the-world attitude, I sense a vulnerability underneath. I don’t want to hurt you, Lisa.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she managed to whisper.
“I’ve taken a lot more hard knocks than you have, I’m sure. I’m used to them. But that’s why I’m worried about what I’m feeling for you.”
“It’s not just chemistry,” she stated.
“Isn’t it? Damn it, Lisa, you’re beautiful, young and energetic and vibrant. What man wouldn’t be attracted to you?”
“There’s a whole bunch,” she assured him with a smile. Then seriously, she added, “This goes way beyond chemistry between us. I mean, I’ll admit, you turn me on big time.”
His cheeks darkened even with the cool wind blowing around them.
“I know some people would say I’m looking for a father figure, since I lost my dad,” she murmured. “But if I want a father figure, Brian’s it. You’re different. I feel on top of the world with you. I feel as if we could talk day and night for months and never run out of things to say.”
As he took her face between his hands, she knew they both felt more than chemistry. His lips were hot and demanding as they covered hers. His large palm slid to the back of her head as he plunged his tongue into her mouth, and she kissed him back in a way she’d never kissed a man before. She wanted to crawl inside of him. She wanted to be joined with him. She wanted to make love with him and have him teach her everything she didn’t know. When she thought about Alan’s hands touching her, his lips caressing other parts of her body, his fingers stroking her skin, she became even dizzier, more excited, more thrilled.
Standing in this awesome place, she held on to this man she’d fallen in love with. If only she could convince him age didn’t matter. If only she could convince him that she was a different person now than she used to be.
He didn’t know the person she used to be. That was both wonderful and dreadful—wonderful because he wasn’t judging her for her past, but dreadful because when he found out about it, he would.
Falling for the Texas Tycoon Page 11
