by Holly Jacobs
"You two are crazy." Carly reached back into the van and retrieved her cap.
"Yeah, but wear it anyway," Samantha told her.
"And use your five-dollar words," Michelle teased. "They make you sound very collegiate."
"Fine. You two are severely sanity challenged. Unbalanced. Unhinged. Demented."
"Hey, don't forget good old insane," Samantha called out helpfully as they went into the restaurant. She looked at the hostess and said very loudly, "We'd like your best table for my friend, the college graduate."
"Oh, hey, that's great! Mercyhurst, right? I heard the college was having its graduation tonight. I thought a Wednesday night was odd."
"The Warner's got some renovations going on, so we had it at the new Bayfront Convention Center, but they were booked for the weekends, hence a Wednesday night," Carly said. "Probably more than you needed to know."
"Hey, I asked. What's your degree in?" The hostess led them to a booth.
"She's a nurse," Samantha piped in.
"Not until I pass my state boards."
"Close enough," Samantha assured both Carly and the hostess.
"What's her name?" the hostess asked Michelle in a hushed tone.
"Carly." Michelle crawled into the booth and set Carly's diploma up against the wall. "Look at that. It's a thing of beauty."
"Hey, everyone," the hostess called loudly. "I'd like a big hand for my friend Carly here. She just graduated from Mercyhurst with her nursing degree."
Carly hung her head. "I'm so embarrassed."
"You'll survive," Michelle told her. "We're so proud of you."
"Hmm, you know what Dean said when I dropped off the kids?"
"No, what did the rat bastard say?" Samantha had a snarl to her voice that would have sounded more at home in Carly's. They both had a grudge against Dean for the way he'd treated Carly.
"He said congratulations, and added he was so happy I graduated. He waited a moment and said that he was glad because he'd written my last tuition check and I was officially done sponging off him."
Michelle knew that Carly had quit college the first time to put Dean through law school and, according to their divorce settlement, he was responsible for paying for her tuition now.
"What a lovely guy," Michelle muttered.
"Speaking of lovely guys, how's Daniel?" Carly asked with a wicked grin.
"That's the question I've been really waiting for you to ask, even while I've been dreading it," Michelle admitted. "I've made a real mess of it where he's concerned."
And she let it all spill out. Her worries, her over-the-top reaction to Daniel's hockey intervention. "I felt like the smallest person on the planet. Rather than be happy that this man who might very well be Brandon's father is a fantastic, honorable guy, I felt threatened."
"It's a complicated situation," Samantha told her.
"I think I made it more complicated. You see we—"
"You kissed him. You kissed him good and proper," Carly guessed. "You kissed his socks off."
"More than that," Michelle admitted morosely.
"More than his socks?" Carly asked, as the realization sank in. "Oh."
"Oh," Samantha echoed.
"Oh," Michelle assured them. "I don't know how it happened."
"I assumed someone had explained the birds and the bees to you before this," Carly said, "but here goes. When a man likes a woman, and she likes him—"
"Carly," Samantha said sternly, "can't you see you're not helping?"
"Sorry." Carly didn't quite sound as if she was truly sorry. "I mean, I can see you're upset, but really, Michelle, he's gorgeous. You both are single. Tell us more."
"I don't kiss and tell," Michelle said primly.
"Party pooper. Tonight's my night, and I should be indulged at every turn."
"Please forgive our ebullient friend," Samantha said on Carly's behalf. "See, I have a few five-dollar words, too. Now, Michelle, tell us whatever you're comfortable sharing."
"Suffice it to say, it was a huge mistake." The rational part of her knew that taking her relationship with Daniel to a physical level added one more level of complexity to their already overly complex relationship. Although a totally foreign, seldom-glimpsed side of her couldn't help but remember the sweetness of being with Daniel.
"Huge mistakes are generally the best kind," Carly teased.
Samantha ignored Carly and simply asked, "Why, Michelle?"
"Think about the situation we're in. Daniel and I have been thrown together. We still haven't received the test result, so there's no way of knowing if he is or isn't Brandon's father. If he is, and we start anything, then it doesn't work out? Things could be awkward or, worse, untenable. If he's not and I'm seeing him, can you imagine how that will hurt Brandon?"
"From everything you've told us, Brandon likes Daniel. No matter what the test result says, it sounds as if Daniel's been good for Brandon," Samantha reminded her.
"I'm not the type of woman who kisses men I barely know. . .much less more than that. It hasn't even been quite a month and we. . .well, we definitely did more than that. That's not me."
"I don't know that time matters when it comes to attraction," Carly said.
"Attraction or more," Samantha added.
"There's no more. Maybe some attraction, but no more," Michelle hastily assured them.
"Look at Harry and me. I met him when school started. Three months is all, and here we are. I can't imagine my life without him. Time doesn't seem important when you find the one—"
"Wait, wait," Michelle said with a sense of panic. "I never said Daniel was the one."
"You've been with him practically every day for weeks."
"I didn't see him Sunday."
Samantha ignored her. "You're together right after work, eat meals together. He's even watching Brandon tonight. It might not have been much time, but some people date for months and don't spend as much time together."
Daniel had made that same point, but Michelle wasn't buying it. "I thought we were here to celebrate Carly's degree, not analyze my relationship with Daniel."
"We're moms," Carly said. "We know how to multitask."
There was no fighting it. Her friends were going to help, whether she wanted them to or not. And the truth was, she did want their opinions. But she wanted their opinions to be she should maintain her distance. She wanted their opinions to be the last man on earth she should be kissing was Daniel McLean.
That's what she wanted.
"Listen, it's been a long time since I was in a serious relationship. I don't know if I'm ready for another one. I have work, and Brandon. There's not much time left over."
"And yet, you and Daniel seem to be managing," Carly said.
"What happened with the last guy?" Samantha asked.
"Brandon happened." It seemed like a thousand years ago. "Max and I wanted to work in some big city. After we graduated, we put out applications, waiting and hoping we'd both get offered jobs in the same big city. And we did. D.C. We were beside ourselves. Then Tara and Brandon showed up on my door. I asked Max to wait. When they didn't need me anymore, I'd come."
"But he didn't wait?" Samantha asked.
"He left without me."
"Men." In that one word, Carly managed to imbue her total disgust with the whole gender. "Max is your Dean. A cautionary tale that reminds a woman what happens when you get too invested in a man. They leave you high and dry. Enjoy your time with Daniel McLean, but don't enjoy it so much you lose yourself in him."
Samantha gave Carly a nudge. "Don't listen to her, Michelle. All that showed was that Max wasn't the man for you. Maybe Daniel is. And before you tell me that it's too soon, I'll remind you again that the heart doesn't own a watch. Love is love."
Love is love.
Michelle tried not to groan. She'd never mentioned love. She cared for Daniel. And obviously was attracted to him. But love?
She turned the subject to the Christmas Fair and was thankful both Carly a
nd Samantha were willing to move on to a new topic.
She wasn't prepared for Carly swooning over just how kissable Daniel was but warning her to not fall too deeply, and Samantha repeating that time didn't make much difference when it came to matters of the heart, and throwing her relationship—her very good relationship—with Harry up as an example.
It wasn't what she wanted, but it's what she got. Well, that and a headache.
The evening wound down and Carly drove them both home. They dropped off Samantha first, then Carly drove to Michelle's. "Thanks for the ride."
"Hey, before you get out," Carly said, "I wanted to say something."
"Okay."
"And I don't want you to get mad about it."
"That particular statement never bodes well. It's something Brandon might say."
"Sean and Rhiana have been known to use it, as well. It's just that Samantha's so hot over Harry she practically had you and Daniel walking to an altar. Her relationship with Harry colors her view. It's obvious to both of us, even if she doesn't seem to notice it. Though right now, I'm about the most anti-love person you can find."
"I'm sorry about you and Dean."
Carly shrugged. "I'll get over him, eventually. But the fact that I'm so not a fan of the male race means my opinion is tainted in the opposite direction. You have a lot of great excuses to keep your distance from Daniel. And I agree with them, for what it's worth—well, sort of."
"Just sort of?"
"If we were talking about you hypothetically, or talking about me, I'd agree a hundred percent. But I've seen the two of you together. And, Michelle, despite my current anti-man stance, I find I have to side with Samantha. Don't let issues of time, or even of Brandon's parentage, scare you away from something that could be great. . .something we all see when we look at you and Daniel together."
"I'm not—"
"And don't let fear of being hurt stop you, either. Now, out of the car. This has gotten far too emotional for me, and this college graduate has to get home. Thanks for a great evening."
Michelle didn't know what to make of Carly's statements. "Thanks for including me. . .and for the advice."
"Well, you should take that advice because I am a college graduate. That means my opinions are now weighted with all that very expensive wisdom."
Michelle laughed as she shut the door. She stood in the driveway as Carly backed out onto the street and drove out of sight.
It was snowing again. She looked up and the snowflakes twinkled in the streetlight. When she was younger, she'd loved watching the snow. She'd simply enjoyed the beauty of it. Then, she'd gotten older and the beauty had taken a back seat to the shoveling, and the difficult driving the snow caused. She let the cons outweigh the beauty. Was she doing that with Daniel? Letting the what-ifs outweigh the what-might-be?
"Are you coming in?"
Daniel stood at the front door, staring at her.
She hadn't heard him there. "Sorry. I was lost in thought."
"Why don't you come think in here where it's warm?"
She did and, before she could take off her coat and boots. Chloe let her know she expected to be greeted first. Michelle knelt down and petted the dog.
"She missed you. She knew you were supposed to be here, and felt your absence. She was sleeping with Brandon, and hurried down when she heard the car in the driveway."
Michelle buried her face in the dog's thick winter coat. "Thanks, Chloe."
"She wasn't the only one who missed you tonight."
She looked up at Daniel. His expression was so sincere. She didn't know what to say to that.
What was it about Daniel McLean that regularly left her feeling tongue-tied? "Thanks for staying with Brandon. Like I said, I know he's too old for a sitter and I rarely go out, so it's not a big issue. But when I'm gone this long. . .well, with you here, I didn't have to worry."
She stood and Chloe, sensing her petting was over, walked back up the stairs. Michelle went ahead and took off her coat and boots.
"How was Carly's graduation?" Daniel asked as they walked into the living room.
"Great. Her kids were there, and we took them to their dad's afterward, and then the three of us went for a late dinner at Colao's. Their food's wonderful. And we made Carly wear her cap in and, much to her chagrin and our delight, the hostess announced her graduation to the entire restaurant."
"Sounds like fun." Daniel sat down on the middle cushion of the couch.
Michelle either had to sit on one of the end cushions—right next to Daniel—or sit in a chair and appear afraid to sit next to Daniel. She reluctantly opted for the couch. "How did your night with Brandon go?"
"He borrowed his friend's Wii and taught me to play golf. And I'm supposed to tell you what an excellent gaming system it is because you actually get up and move in order to play it, so you get exercise." He laughed. "I think that's supposed to be a hint. An oh-so-subtle one."
She nodded. "You're going to feel that golf game tomorrow. It's a whole different set of muscles."
She ignored the fact that Daniel's thigh was just inches from hers and was starting to relax, when he said, "Talking about Brandon is always welcome, but is there any chance we're going to talk about this thing between us?"
"I'd really rather not. And I'd rather not admit to the fact that I was a shrew this weekend about your giving an opinion about Brandon, but I was, so I'll apologize for that."
"You weren't a shrew, but you're right, we're going to have to figure out where I fit in, what kind of say I get to have. . .if any," he hastily added. "But I'd really like to talk about the attraction between us, about when we—"
She could deny there was an attraction, but it would be a lie, and she was sure he'd know that. So rather than trying to deny it, she shook her head. "It's almost eleven, and I have to get up for work tomorrow."
"We're going to have to talk about it eventually, Michelle."
"Yes, we do, but not tonight."
"Fine. Not tonight." He looked disappointed but didn't argue. He got up and went back to the entryway and retrieved his coat from the hook. He put it on and had his hand on the door, when he turned around and kissed her. Just pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
Michelle knew in some faraway rational part of her brain that she should pull back and end the kiss. She was so confused and conflicted, this wasn't helping. But she didn't end it. As a matter of fact, she put her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Wanting nothing more than to be standing here in Daniel's arms.
Finally, Daniel was the one to break the kiss. "I'd say we can skip the talk and simply acknowledge that there is indeed attraction between the two of us. All that leaves for us to talk about is how do we handle it."
Before she could say anything, he turned around and opened the door. "Come on, Chloe," he called up the stairs.
There was no response. Daniel turned to Michelle. "Want me to go get her?"
"No, she can spend the night. I can—"
"I'll pick her up in the morning." And without another word about their kiss, he turned and left.
Michelle shut the door, but rather than going upstairs, she stood at the window and watched as his truck pulled out of her driveway and disappeared down the street.
Just weeks ago, her life was orderly and had a rhythm that she knew and understood. Now, Brandon had a potential father, there was a dog sleeping in his room and she'd been thoroughly kissed by a man she knew she should be keeping away from.
How on earth had that happened?
How was she going to get her life back on track?
And the biggest question of all. . .did she really want to go back to the way things were?
Chapter Eleven
Daniel was at Michelle's front door at seven the next morning. "Brandon said you don't leave to take him to school until seven thirty-five." He didn't mention that when Brandon gave him such a specific time, he was sure it was because Michelle left precisely at seven thirty-five, not seven th
irty-six or -seven. Not even a few minutes early.
He found the thought cute.
But as she frowned at him, he very wisely chose not to share the fact that her punctuality and preciseness delighted him.
"I brought doughnuts," he said, holding the box aloft. "I thought I'd trade the doughnuts for a cup of coffee before Chloe and I go to work."
She looked surprised, but then said, "Uh, okay."
As Daniel took his coat off, Brandon came barreling down the stairs with Chloe on his heels. "Hey, Dan. I got up early and took Chloe out for a walk. Aunt Shell said she didn't want to leave me last night."
"No, she didn't, the traitor." He leaned down and petted Chloe. "But hey, it gave me an excuse to drop by with doughnuts. Mighty Fine Donuts. I got a selection because I didn't know which ones you liked."
"I like 'em all," Brandon assured him with a grin. "But the creamed-filled are my favorites."
"I'm sure there's some of those."
Brandon took the box and sprinted toward the kitchen. "Thanks," he called over his shoulder.
Chloe appeared unsure for a moment, looking up at Daniel, then after Brandon, before she took off after the boy.
"Fruit first," Michelle hollered.
Daniel was still standing at the entryway, holding his coat.
"Are you coming?"
Daniel grinned, kicked off his boots and hung his coat on the hook. His hook.
Brandon was at the counter, staring inside the doughnut box as he chewed a banana. He shoved the last half in his mouth and, as he chewed it, took a cream-filled doughnut from the box.
"These are great, Dan," he said, around the still impressive amount of food in his mouth.
"Wait until you've finished chewing," Michelle scolded as she set a glass of milk in front of him, then a mug of coffee in front of Daniel.
They ate their doughnuts and Brandon complained about his big science test. "Right before Christmas. That's not fair."
"Better before than right after the Christmas break. You'd have to spend your whole holiday studying," Michelle pointed out as she took a sip of coffee.
