Hardpressed

by Meredith Wild

  “Hey,” I answered.

  “Oh my God, have you been following the news?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m in shock. Does that seem like him, to just off himself?”

  I blinked and stared at the photo of Mark on the screen. A portrait of him taken for the law firm, looking professional and more than ready to take on corporate America. The smile that made me sick to my stomach was plastered all over the news.

  “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I saw him two nights ago at the Spirit Gala. He came onto me, totally freaking me out. I wouldn’t have guessed something like this could have happened.”

  “Well, it’s not like you knew him well.”

  “You don’t think it has to do with me, do you?”

  “Jesus, are you blaming yourself for this, Erica?”

  “No, but—”

  “Okay, you’re going to stop that shit right now. Mark was a terrible person. You should be happy he’s gone and out of your life now. Good riddance.”

  “I don’t know. I guess I’m in disbelief.” I had a hard time celebrating anyone’s death, even someone I loathed as much as Mark. Daniel and Margo would probably be beside themselves with grief right now. “Says he didn’t even leave a note. Doesn’t make sense.”

  “What would he have written? A confession of all the horrible things he’d done?”

  Simone brought over my usual latte without my even asking. I mouthed a thank you to her and stirred it slowly as I contemplated Alli’s words.

  “I guess you’re right. I’m still trying to wrap my head around all this.”

  “Try to think of it as a chapter in your life closing. You can finally move on now.”

  I shook my head, knowing full well that his death could never erase what he’d done to me.

  * * *

  I forced myself to finish writing the Bryant’s contract, though Mark’s death barely left my mind as I pushed through work. I was about to give in and check the news again when Risa popped in.

  “How’s it going?” She beamed in front of me.

  “Almost done with this. How about you?”

  “I was able to book two more meetings with retailers next week.”

  “Wow, you’re on fire.” I raised my eyebrows, genuinely impressed.

  She smiled broadly, and then her expression became more serious. “Have you been following the news?”

  I stayed focused on my screen. “No, what’s new?” I couldn’t help but ask.

  “They said he shot himself. His blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit.”

  I closed my eyes, fighting the vision of what that scene must have looked like. Of all the ways to attempt to end his life, he chose the one he was guaranteed not to survive.

  “Funeral services will be on Sunday. Do you think you’ll go?”

  “Risa, I told you I barely knew him,” I snapped. Bloody hell. I really wished she would mind her own goddamn business. I wanted nothing more than to be alone with my thoughts, and she was in the front row trying to read them.

  “Okay, sorry. I thought you’d want to know.”

  “Now I know, thanks.” I started typing up the last of the terms into my open document, hoping she’d take the hint that I was busy.

  She did and left wordlessly. I relaxed again, immediately regretting that I’d been so rude. My head was so messed up, and the one person I really needed wasn’t remotely close.

  I waited until after five when everyone had left to call Blake. I heard him talking to someone when he picked up.

  “Blake.”

  “Hey.”

  “Mark is dead,” I said, my brain working hard to believe the words. I still couldn’t believe it.

  There was silence on the line as I waited for him to respond, to ask me how and when. Surely he’d have as many questions as I did. If anyone hated Mark as much as I did, it was Blake.

  “I know.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I saw it in my news feed. I’m sorry, I wanted to call but I’ve been tied up in meetings all morning. Hang on a second.”

  “Okay.” My voice was quiet, my throat tight with emotion. I wanted to be angry with him for not calling, but all I could think about was how much I missed him. The noise was muffled on the other end, and then the voices in the background disappeared.

  “Are you okay?” His voice was softer.

  I drummed my fingers on the desk, wondering how to put into words how completely not okay I was. “When are you coming home?”

  He sighed on the other end. I winced. I was becoming the emotionally dependent girlfriend that he probably really didn’t need. Not to mention the kind I never thought I’d turn into.

  “Sorry, just do what you need to do there, Blake. Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m fine.” I bit back the tears that threatened, trying to sound as unaffected as possible.

  “I’m coming back as soon as I can.”

  “I’m fine,” I repeated, willing both of us to believe it as I wiped away the tear that fell down my cheek. “I’m just kind of a mess right now, but I’ll be fine.”

  I heard the voices in the background again and he muttered a curse under his breath. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  I hung up and let my head fall into my hands. Why did I need Blake to put me back together? What had changed in these past weeks that I needed him like I needed my last breath? I couldn’t make sense of it, or of the insane thoughts I was having about hopping on the next red-eye to San Francisco to see him.

  “You look like you need a drink.”

  James was standing by my desk. He looked great as usual in a black graphic T-shirt and dark blue jeans, but the worried look on his face was what caught my attention. I wiped my eyes quickly, suddenly worried about the state of my mascara after a day like today.

  “I thought everyone was gone.”

  “I had to wrap something up here. I figured we could catch up.”

  I straightened and silently hoped that he hadn’t heard my exchange with Blake.

  “Maybe later. I should head home.” I piled up the papers that had accumulated on my desk over the course of the day.

  “On a Friday night? I thought you’d be celebrating the new account.”

  “Well it’s not final yet. Plus I still have work to do. I need to figure out the direction for the ad campaign we’re planning.”

  “How about you toss some of that work my way and let me take you out for a drink. I’ll come in tomorrow if I have to.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t expect you to do that.”

  “I want to. Come on, there’s a cool dive bar down the street. Unless you’re more into those fancy martini bars?”

  I lifted my lips. He had one thing right for sure. I could use a drink. Having someone to talk to, even if it wasn’t about my solidly heinous day, was pretty appealing too.

  “Fine. One drink.”

  * * *

  James delivered on his promise for a quintessential dive bar. Dark and sparse on decor, the place attracted a local crowd. Most were casually dressed, so I stood out with my suit. Maybe a martini bar would have been better based on the double takes I was getting.

  We found two seats at the crowded bar and each ordered a drink. I tried to ignore the news scrolling on the one television mounted on the wall.

  “Are there any new developments?”

  I panicked slightly. “What do you mean?”

  “With the Cooper kid?”

  “Oh, yeah, he’s definitely our man.” I thought back to the scene at the house and resented that I couldn’t tell him the whole truth. He’d made a good find with tracking down Brian’s family, and I silently wondered if he might have any other ideas about getting to the bottom of this situation.

  “You’re kidding. You met him?”

  “I swung by the mother’s house last night. He lives with her, so I ended up meeting them both.”

  “Is he going to back off?”


  I shook my head and thanked the skinny blond bartender who had delivered our drinks.

  “So how does Landon tie into this?”

  I took a sip of my drink, savoring the bite of the liquor. “Let’s just say that the original group didn’t break up on good terms. Trevor is holding a grudge against Blake, and based on how last night went, that’s not going to change any time soon. That grudge has spilled over onto our company due to his involvement with us. So I’m basically at a dead end again unless I can figure out a way to reason with Trevor somehow.”

  James rested his elbows on the bar, circling his beer with his hand and showcasing his strong arms and the tattoos.

  “Maybe I could reason with him.”

  I laughed. “I’m sure you’d have no problem strong-arming him, and at this point I’d probably try anything if I thought it might work. Unfortunately I’m not sure it would do any good. Blake doesn’t seem to think he’ll be easily deterred.”

  “What’s with you and Blake anyway?”

  He took a sip of his beer and looked up at the television, as if he weren’t too concerned with the answer. Before I could reply, someone yelled my name from across the room. Dressed in a backless black top and ripped up boyfriend jeans, Simone marched up to us.

  “Woman, I didn’t know you came here!”

  “I don’t,” I said, immediately happy to see her face outside of the café. She looked carefree, her red hair loose and falling over her shoulders.

  “This is my place!”

  “You own this place too?”

  She laughed loudly, attracting the attention of nearly every red-blooded man around us. “No, this is like, where I come when I’m not working or sleeping.”

  “Oh, cool. I like it.”

  She wrapped her arm around me and paused when she saw James.

  “Hey, you.” Her eyes narrowed suggestively.

  He smirked. “Hey.”

  “Simone, this is James.”

  “My pleasure. You guys wanna play some pool?”

  James looked at me to gauge my interest and I shrugged. “Not my best game, but I’ll give it a go.”

  “Whatever, you’re probably a fuckin’ shark.”

  Simone’s Boston accent was coming out thicker than usual. She had clearly gotten a head start on me in the drinking department. Still, she was undeniably entertaining. If she was a character before, she’d be a downright show-stopper now.

  James put our name in for the next table and was talking with the people playing while Simone and I stayed back.

  Simone propped herself up on James’s seat. “Let’s get you a real drink.”

  “I’m drinking whiskey. Doesn’t get much more real than this.”

  “I’m talking ’bout shots.”

  “Uh, I’m not sure about that.”

  “We’ll just do one.” She pursed her lips and waved to the blonde who was now ignoring us. “Hey, blondie. Two red-headed sluts.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Subtle, Simone.”

  “What? I’m the red-head and you’re the slut.”

  “Excuse me?” I looked around self-consciously, hoping no one had caught that.

  She downed her shot without answering me and I followed suit. She immediately ordered two more rounds. I’d barely eaten anything today. I was running on coffee and the munchies I had hidden in my office drawer. I needed to slow down or pay for it later.

  “What’s going on with him? I thought you were with the investor guy.” Simone nodded in James’s direction.

  “Nothing’s going on with James. We were just having a drink. And I am with the investor guy. So don’t get any ideas.”

  “Don’t worry. Not my type. That one, however, is more my speed. I’d like to get a better look at that ink.” She bit her lip.

  “Go for it. He’s a really nice guy.” I tossed back one of the two shots the bartender had set in front of me. Blake was thousands of miles away and I’d had the day from hell. Maybe I needed a couple shots to take the edge off.

  “I would, honey, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off you since I got here. I know that look when I see it.”

  I frowned and spun in James’s direction with no discretion. Our eyes met and he quickly averted them and leaned against the pool table to watch the next play.

  Shit.

  “That’s ridiculous.” I turned back to the bar and tossed back the third shot.

  * * *

  I wasn’t as bad at pool as I’d originally thought. Despite my significant buzz, I was making some decent shots. Simone had partnered with someone from the winning team of the last game, and James and I were ahead after the first few rounds. I leaned in for my next shot, but before I could take it, a hand slid across my lower back, warm through the thin fabric of the shell blouse I was wearing. James leaned in next to me, his body too close. Unprofessionally close.

  “Aim for the left pocket.”

  His breath brushed against my neck and my whole body tensed. I closed my eyes a second, wishing he were Blake. God, just for a few minutes. I missed him so much. When I opened them, I caught Simone looking at me with a smug told-you-so look on her face. I shifted my angle, took the shot, and the ball sank into the pocket. I stepped back and wobbled slightly on my heels. James was there, stilling me with his hand at my waist.

  “You all right?”

  “I’m fine.” I smiled and took a self-preserving step away. I needed to get a handle on this situation before James got the wrong idea. I was about to start scolding myself for having drinks with an employee, when a familiar face emerged from the crowd beyond the pool tables.

  “Uh-oh,” I murmured.

  “What’s wrong?” James asked.

  Heath walked up slowly, his hands in his pockets, until he stood directly in front of us. He gave James a hard look before turning back to me. My eyes went wide as I replayed the past few minutes over in my mind, including James’s brief and suggestive tutorial on playing pool.

  “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

  Heath answered with a tight smile. I grabbed my purse and fished out my phone seeing that Blake had called at least a dozen times. Fuck.

  “I have to go.” I glanced quickly to Simone and James, eager to connect with Blake and explain this all away.

  “Do you need a ride?” James stepped forward.

  “No, she doesn’t.”

  Heath nearly leveled him with his stare, his jaw ticking in a way that made me seriously wonder if he were somehow channeling Blake right now.

  “Come on. Let’s get out of here,” he said, his voice more forgiving toward me.

  My eagerness came to a skidding halt. My face heated. Heath would be here under strict instructions from Blake. The thought of being escorted out of the bar at Blake’s bidding humiliated me, and my dignity wasn’t having it.

  “I’ll be out in a minute.” I raised my eyebrows at him, daring him to challenge me.

  He paused and finally agreed with a slight nod.

  “Who the hell was that?” James grimaced in the direction of the exit that Heath had just left through.

  “Blake’s brother.”

  “A little protective, is he?” Simone walked up and leaned against the pool table beside me.

  “Sometimes,” I lied.

  “You really leaving me?” Simone gave me a pouty look.

  I smiled. “Yeah, I’m wasted anyway. I need to go pass out before I get stupid.”

  “Lame.”

  “Shut up. James will take care of you, right?”

  James smiled politely, but disappointment shadowed his gaze. Simone leaned in for a hug. When she let me go, James pulled me close and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek.

  “Good night.”

  I turned out of his embrace so quickly I almost lost my balance again. I headed out of the bar without a goodbye.

  Clay drove Heath and me back to the apartment in silence. I wanted to read them both the riot act, but it wouldn’t make an ounce of difference when Blake c
ontrolled everything they did. They were no different from me.

  I stepped into the apartment and slammed the door behind me before Heath could say good night. Cady, our downstairs neighbor and Blake’s personal assistant, sat next to Sid on the couch watching a movie. They were curled up closer than I’d ever seen them. I waved and said hi before disappearing into my bedroom.

  I fell down onto the bed and wished the walls would stop moving a bit before I made the call. I cursed and pulled up his number.

  “Erica.” His voice was a potent mix of panicked and pissed off.

  “You rang?” I decided to keep the mood light and go with that.

  “I’m beginning to feel like a broken record, but what the fuck?” Blake’s mood was decidedly not light.

  “I was having a drink with a friend. It was loud. I didn’t hear my phone. Stop overreacting.”

  “Was your friend the one with his hands all over you? Or was that someone else?”

  I clenched my teeth and breathed through the string of curses that ran through my head. Heath would be hearing from me about this.

  “You must be referring to James from work, and no, he did not have his hands all over me. We were playing pool. He was showing me a shoot. A shot. He was showing me how to shoot.” I groaned out loud. My slurring wasn’t helping my case.

  “That’s a really great mental image you’ve just given me.”

  “Stop being so jealous,” I mumbled, already too tired to fight.

  “Are you home now?”

  “Uh-huh. In my bed. Thinking about getting naked too,” I teased, hoping he would take the bait so we could stop bickering.

  “Horny, are we?”

  “Oh, we could Facetime. Are you on Wi-Fi?”

  He laughed and I smiled, relieved that he wasn’t as mad as he seemed.

  “I’ve got a dinner meeting with one of the partners on the project I’m working on out here. As much as I’d love to blow it off for phone sex with you, baby, it’ll only keep me out here longer if I do. And I don’t think either of us can afford delays. Agreed?”

  I pouted and slumped back onto the bed. “Agreed.”