by Sosie Frost
Jack darkened. “Do you tell your mother who you’re banging?”
I pinched him under the table as the other five journalists silenced their conversations. They turned their attention to us, listening for the story Jack was bound to give them in his customary rage.
“It was strange your own mother didn’t know about your lady-friend,” Ainsley said. “Or that you’re expecting.”
“Been busy.” Jack spoke through gritted teeth. “Had a lot going on.”
“And you, Miss…” Ainsley glanced to me. “How did your family take the news?”
I answered reflexively, offering a statement I prepared the day I agreed to have the baby with Jack. “We’re all very happy and blessed. A baby is a welcomed addition to our loving family.”
The comment would satisfy him. He didn’t need to know what my mother said—that her words still screamed in my mind, a variety of phrases and insults that had me crying into Jack’s shoulder for an entire night.
“May I quote you?” Ainsley asked.
What the hell was he up to? I nodded. He pulled out a notepad. “Leah Williams…is that correct?”
“Yes.”
He turned to Jack. “And, just so I can write this up, what’s her middle name?”
I sucked in a breath. Ainsley silenced me before I answered. He pointed to Jack. “Please.”
Jack tightened his jaw. “She doesn’t have one.”
Oh, we were screwed. Was he an idiot?
Ainsley tapped his notes. “It’s Ruth, actually. According to my sources.”
Jack didn’t blink. “She hates it. Prefers not to use it.”
“Of course. And being her long-term, committed boyfriend, you would know that.”
“Damn right.”
Jack’s fist tightened. I took his hand in mine and pulled it under the table. Safe, for now.
“Been in a lot of trouble lately, right, Jack?” Ainsley’s smile turned cold and unforgiving and, worst of all, smug.
“Always,” Jack said.
“Having an illegitimate, bi-racial baby is more than trouble, don’t you think?”
Hell no.
My thoughts turned molten and violent. I gripped Jack’s fingers, nearly crushing them as I struggled to maintain a shred of sanity.
He insulted me. He insulted the baby.
He was just lucky Jack was too enraged to move.
I spoke without thinking, wishing I hadn’t sharpened my voice to a dagger point. “The baby is loved, sir. Regardless of his or her circumstances.”
He had no shame. “Of course. Just the beginning of Jack’s new troublesome legacy.”
“And you would know about that trouble, Ainsley. You’ve done the most reporting on Jack’s off-the-field business.”
“You mean off-the-field indiscretions, Miss Williams. It’s my job to report the news.”
Libelous fraud. I silence myself before my temper ruined any name I’d make for my own PR firm.
Ainsley seized the opportunity. “According to my sources, Jack’s still in hot water from that latest arrest. The league isn’t happy with you, Mr. Carson.”
Jack’s voice was flat, bound in an instinct to protect me and his child. “I wasn’t charged.”
“No. But your bruise is healing nicely.”
I stomped on Jack’s foot before he cursed the reporter. “This season should be his best. The coaches say his performance at training camp is outstanding. They have high hopes for him.”
Ainsley snorted. “He had better play well. Rumors are circulating—no contract extension this year. This might be your last season with the Rivets, Jack.”
“It won’t be.” Jack’s temper frayed and tensed to snap. “And I’ll expect a full report on your show when I’ve signed the new contract. Hell, I might even give you some ratings and do a fucking interview.”
“Charming. We’ll need to change the rating on my program to M for mature.”
Jack had enough. He hauled me from the table, but the fundraiser kicked into gear. A spotlight centered on us. The man on stage called Jack’s name, and a round of applause echoed over the hall.
“We want to thank our largest single donor, Mr. Jack Carson!” The announcer’s voice was far too cheery for the storm over our table. “His generous contribution helps us in this fight against this terrible disease. It’s our hope that, one day, no child will lose his life to leukemia.”
The applause thundered, most of the guests just as shocked as the journalists to hear of Jack’s generosity. It didn’t surprise me anymore. Nothing about his big heart did.
Jack leaned down, keeping his voice low as the guests still cheered for him. Ainsley’s smugness turned to a grimace. That was smart. I’d hate to see Jack beat the grin off of him.
“I doubt you’ll report on the charity donation,” Jack growled. “You’d rather investigate a story that would kick me from the league, right?”
“It’s just ratings, Jack.”
“I’ll tell you this once, and it’s your only warning. If I catch you calling my mother again…if you dare to harass Leah…if you are stupid enough to insult my bi-racial baby again? You’ll broadcast live from the hospital room with your jaw wired shut. And you can quote me.” Jack took my hand. “Let’s go, Kiss.”
The table silenced. He pulled me from the dinner just as the music started and the food served.
The entire fundraiser watched Jack slam the dining hall doors open for us. He didn’t stop in the hall to cool down either. Jack pulled me to the valet.
We were going home.
That wouldn’t look good.
“Jack, you have to go back and apologize to that…fiend,” I said.
“What?”
Jack didn’t yell. He knew better, even if he couldn’t disguise his rage.
“He insulted you. And…” His eyes crackled blue with a fierce fury. “The way he talked about my baby...”
“You can’t get angry,” I said. “Don’t do anything without thinking it through, Jack. Ainsley Ruport is a powerful journalist. He knows enough people in and out of the league to make this harder. He already doubts our story. Give him an inch, and he’ll investigate us. He’ll find out that this was a lie.”
“You can’t lie about a baby. About my baby!” Jack’s temper snapped, and I used all my weight to pull on his arm so he wouldn’t rush inside and rip Ainsley’s head off. “He’s going to use my kid against me.”
“If he does, he’d be discredited. Especially if he leads with the bi-racial headline. Come on, Jack. Use your head. The baby shields you. No one with a brain will ever challenge a father on his own children. It’d ruin him. That’s why you wanted the baby.”
He stiffened. “That baby means more to me than my reputation.”
I hated that it relieved me to hear it.
“I know. But you can’t jeopardize your reputation just to antagonize Ainsley.” I rubbed my hand over my belly, hoping the little one didn’t know we were upset. “We have to think about the future now.”
The valet arrived with the car. Jack helped me into the passenger seat but the door slammed shut the instant I was settled inside. He nearly broke it. I tried to calm him down, but Jack was beyond reasonable. The Porsche peeled from the parking lot, and he took his anger out on the road.
“There’s going to be more questions, Jack.” I brushed his arm. His breath caught. At least he liked my touch. “We’re hiding it well now, but people are going to ask why I was let go from my job immediately after the pregnancy hit the news.”
“Tell them you wanted to stay at home with the baby.”
“We’ll need a better answer than that.”
“Why?”
“Because I am living with you, but we’re not married. I’m not working. For all they know, I was fired for messing around with you. It looks bad.”
“What would make it better? Wanna get married?”
He was impossible. “You have to take this seriously.”
“I
am.”
“I’m not marrying you to avoid the press, Jack.” My heart thudded too hard. “We’re a young, modern couple. We don’t need to be married to have a baby. It’ll just be harder without it.”
“Then let’s get married. What does it matter?”
Jack could be romantic, or he could be an idiot.
Tonight, he was an idiot.
I stared at the road and willed the car to return to the house before the conversation got real.
“We’re not getting married,” I said.
Jack shrugged. “If it shuts them up? If it stops them from calling my child illegitimate?”
“He is illegitimate, technically.”
Jack’s jaw tensed. “That makes the baby sound unwanted. Damn it. I remember working hard to make that baby.”
It wasn’t a boast, but I relived the memories. What calmed me only frustrated him more.
“All we need to do is be careful,” I said. “Nothing needs to change.”
“Fine.”
I bit my lip. My stomach flipped. Was he satisfied with how things were? Wasn’t he wondering about a future? What it meant that we were still sleeping together? What would happen when the baby came?
Jack passed a car on the highway, blitzing by entirely too fast. He had control of the car though, complete and total control, reading every bump in the road and sound of the engine with ease. How could he be so confident about everything, especially when I wouldn’t dare plunge into the darkness as effortlessly as he did?
I took the leap. “I guess we have to talk about it sooner or later.”
“Talk about what?”
“About…how we’re doing this. You asked me to move in, but how are we…what did you…”
“You’re living with me. What’s to talk about?”
I exhaled a shaky breath. I hated that I was without a plan, without even a clue how to approach a man who’d get married because it was easier than facing a reporter. Jack didn’t have the same goals as me, he hardly seemed to share any of the responsibilities I wanted in life.
Except the baby.
Except staying in his arms at night. Flirting with him in the house. Kissing away our frustrations.
“Are we raising the child together?” I asked, finally. “Or…how did you want custody…”
His voice roughened. “I told you. You won’t be alone. I’m going to be there for my kid.”
“Okay,” I said. “But you know what this will look like, right?”
“What?”
“You can’t be seen with other women. You can’t go out and party. You can’t get into trouble, especially if Ainsley is watching. We have to look like…like a real couple.”
“And what do we look like now?”
His hands twisted over the wheel. Mine folded in my lap. I couldn’t breathe.
I didn’t know.
Did he even know?
Did he know what he did to me? How he made me feel?
It was stupid to surrender to a man who couldn’t go one night without getting into trouble. He had no self-control, no desire to be responsible. Our fling was fun now, while I was in shape and before a screaming baby invaded his bachelor pad, but who knew what would happen in the future?
I read enough articles. Witnessed enough of Ainsley’s reports. I couldn’t imagine Jack changing diapers and dealing with colic if something more tempting captured his interest.
So did we look like together?
Easy. I was Leah. Kiss.
I couldn’t be any more.
“I’m your pregnant ex-publicist,” I said. “And we look like a perfectly content couple.”
“Is that it?” Jack pumped with adrenaline and testosterone. He’d fight anyone now, including me.
“I’m also the mother of your child. We’ll be okay as long as you behave until the baby is born. Do that, and I’m sure you can convince the league you’ve changed.”
“And what do I have to do to convince you of that?”
I looked away, nibbling on my nail. Jack shook his head before I could speak. He turned off the highway, heading to the house.
His house.
Our house?
“Forget it,” he said. “There’s the answer.”
“Jack.”
“I can’t convince you that I’m anything but a fuck-up. You’re worse than Ainsley, you know that? You got me all figured out, like I’m another bullet point on your list to check off once I make that final mistake.”
“You’re more than a checkmark.”
“Bullshit. You have less faith in me than the league or my fucking team or the media.”
“That’s not—”
“Combined.”
I wished I could have said something, anything, but I didn’t have a response.
Not when he was right.
And not when I knew I hurt him that badly.
“Tell you what, Kiss.” Jack didn’t let the revelation steal his confidence. “I’m gonna prove myself. Not just to them, but to you and the baby. Then maybe one day you’ll see the man I really am.”
My heart fluttered.
I could see exactly the type of man he could become. It was the reason I shared his bed, agreed to have the baby.
But it wasn’t up to me to believe him.
He had to want to change.
And I really hoped he would.
17
Jack
The whistle blew, and I saw red.
I spent the morning in the weight room. Mid-morning running laps. Late morning scouring the playbook.
This afternoon was practice. Full pads and contact. People watching—media, coaches, fans.
Everyone in attendance to witness as I melted-down in pure, unbridled rage.
I don’t know who pissed me off more, but my temper snapped. Life decided to fuck me all at once.
First, the Rivets declined the contract renegotiation. Then an article appeared about my non-arrest and the league’s political fallout.
Worst of all? Leah went to the doctor without me for a checkup. She promised it was routine, that she wanted to get it over and done with. I knew the real reason.
She didn’t trust that I would remember we had an appointment.
How the hell was I supposed to prove my commitment to the baby? I built a nursery. I bought everything the kid would need until college. Leah even moved in. I kept her in my bed at night so I could be there when the morning sickness got bad. When she felt lousy, I was there with a bottle of water.
I was trying to change. What more did she want?
What did anyone want from me?
The ball pumped from my hands—a clean, tight spiral. The rookie receiver ran the route perfectly, but the ball bounced off his fingers.
And Coach Thompson yelled at me for it.
We lined up again. I called the count.
My guard, Orlando, moved before we snapped.
Coach Thompson blamed me.
God damn it. Was everything in the world my fault?
Apparently.
Fuck.
I pushed through, hitting my limit and then setting a new mark for my physical and emotional endurance. Training camp was grueling enough. Men dropped on the field with heat cramps. It wasn’t a real practice until a handful of our bigger guys threw up on the sidelines.
According to my coach, that was my fault too. I hadn’t called the trainers to deliver water while I practiced the hurry-up offense. But how was I supposed to run a quick offense if my guys were still guzzling water?
Coach Thompson didn’t care.
We lined up for a play. Insects buzzed our faces, and the sun scorched our backs. My head ached with dehydration even though I downed an entire bottle of water before kicking onto the field.
I called the play. The center snapped the ball. The coach blew the whistle.
“Carson!” Now he meant to get under my skin. “Your drop back isn’t clean.”
Like hell it wasn’t. I called the men to the
line. He bitched at me again.
“Three steps, twinkle-toes. Quicker, or your ass is going to eat it next time we play Ashenville.”
Bullshit. My play was clean. My snap perfect. My drop back in perfect sync. He was trying to piss me off.
Why?
What did they stand to win if they got me mad? Mouthing off wouldn’t make anyone look good, especially with the media and the fans in attendance for the afternoon practices.
I took the snap again.
The whistle blew immediately. I resisted the urge to spike the ball in frustration. Bryon slapped my shoulder.
“He’s getting in your head, man,” he said. “Let it roll off.”
“Can’t.”
He smirked. “You need a drink and blow-job in no particular order.”
“No kidding.”
He pointed to the sidelines. “Have that little baby-momma of yours take care of you tonight.”
Of course Leah would be here now. I told her to come by and cheer me on. Figured it’d pump my ego if she stroked it as good as she stroked my cock.
It was a selfish request though. I shouldn’t have made her come out in this heat. I only hoped she’d see me at work. If she understood how hard I tried, how rigorously I trained, maybe she’d cut me a break. Let me in. Take me to the doctor’s appointments.
Maybe she’d trust me.
I shouldn’t have felt the things I did for the woman I knocked up for my own personal gain. And I didn’t understand the raging possession that coiled through me when I looked at her with that little bump. God, it made me proud.
I had a lot of pride in myself, but not much in anything else that I had done. Except that. Except her. And I wanted everyone to see that bump and know what I did. Maybe then they’d understand there was more to me than getting in trouble.
That goddamned whistle blew again.
He was lucky I didn’t force him to swallow it.
I swore and refused the water from the trainers. The defensive coach settled his men down, letting Coach Thompson stop the play for the fifth time in a row. I rubbed the sweat from my eyes with fingers itching to throw the damn ball.
It didn’t help that the play called was a simple run for Bryon. Straight up the middle, nothing complicated. Not even a play-action to give me a chance to do something besides hand the ball off.
