by T. L Smith
“And you haven’t seen him since?”
I shake my head. He’s older than me, and avoiding him hasn’t been hard. I’ve been busy, and if I see Tracey we usually do lunch or drinks. Both of which don’t include her brother. I never told her about that night or the fact that I liked him to begin with.
“I don’t plan to ever again,” I say grabbing my water and going to my room.
“I think he may have other plans.”
I wave him off again, not listening to his ramblings as I shut my bedroom door. I should be angrier at Falcon than I am. Let’s face it—I hate him, he’s an asshole, a whore. The way he used to treat me makes me even wonder why I liked him to begin with. The only way he saw me was like an annoying little sister. And yet at the time, I still wanted him to kiss me. Not so much anymore.
“I bet he tastes like vanilla,” Chad screams as he bangs on my bedroom door, walking away.
My cell starts buzzing and Tracey’s name flashes on the screen. It’s not like her to call me this late.
“Hello?”
“Falcon’s annoying me for your number. He told me you said he could have it?”
“No.”
“That’s what I thought. Night.” She hangs up, thankfully without asking any questions.
* * *
Seventeen Years Old
* * *
When you crush on someone, it takes everything in you. All you can think about and dream about is them. My mother tells me it’s a phase, one I will grow out of. I can’t imagine doing so. I have a picture of him in my bedroom. Granted it’s with Tracey as well, but he’s there. She doesn’t know I crush on her brother, though she may have a faint idea. I’ve never confirmed it to her, though. Tonight, he’s home for the first time in a year and I’m itching to see him. I’ve been counting every second, picking through all my clothes to make sure everything’s just perfect. It has to be perfect. My boobs, the ones I didn’t have a lot of last time he left, are now fully grown. So, I pick the most revealing top I can find, match it with a short skirt which shows off my long legs and put on some make-up.
Tracey walks in, her eyes raking me over, and she shakes her head. “If you weren’t my best friend…”
I blush at her words. Why can’t her brother look at me like that? As we leave my bedroom, I give her a smile.
People have started to arrive from school, even people from one of the local universities are here as well. I wanted it to be big, so big that Falcon wanted to come and then his friends would also. Not that I care about them, but if they come I know he will. They go everywhere together, they’re never separated.
“Is your brother here?” I ask, careful not to look up at her. My eyes stay on my skirt as I play with the bottom of it hoping she won’t notice.
“Yes. But he’s brought someone.”
I look up then, and her face changes. She knows my secret, I know she does. Tracey shakes her head as she walks out of the room, then comes back in a few minutes later. I still haven’t moved from the spot I’m in, my hands still on my skirt.
“Drink this, it’ll help.” She hands me a bottle of vodka. Now, I need to be clear, I suck at drinking. Like, never really understood it or been good at it. It also makes me forget—which is the sole reason I take the bottle from her hands and drink as much as I can without throwing it all up.
Tracey grabs the bottle from my hand. “Slower, take it slow.” She takes a sip and I sit on the bed brushing my hair off my shoulders.
I look up at her gradually, my fake eyelashes fanning my face. “Do you think tonight will suck?”
She shakes her head. “No. We’re going to get shitfaced and dance all night, but tomorrow? Yeah, that will suck. Especially having to clean the place. Ewww.” She pokes her tongue out and hands me the bottle again but this time I take it slowly. I can feel the effects starting already. I stand, handing the bottle back to her as we make our way out of my room and down the stairs to where people are everywhere.
Shit! There are way more people here than I thought would come, my parents are going to kill me. I cringe when I see someone knock over a vase, and close my eyes when I notice mud on the tiles. Maybe I didn’t think this whole party thing through.
Tracey throws her arm around me and pulls me to the kitchen. I spot him straight away, though he has his back to me. Falcon is taut, strong. Anyone can tell that by merely looking at him, even fully clothed. He has on a dress shirt. Who the fuck wears a dress shirt to a party? Anyway. The sleeves are rolled up, exposing his beautiful forearms.
Who knew someone could be attracted to forearms? I didn’t. Now I do.
Tanned, muscly, perfect forearms. I wipe at my mouth to tell myself to stop drooling.
Then he turns, his dark eyes land on me and I smile despite myself. His eyes rake me over and his lip lifts just a fraction before he looks to my left where his sister is standing. He shakes his head and turns back around. A part of me deflates, dies on the inside, so I do the only thing I can think of to numb it—grab the bottle from Tracey and take another long sip. She reaches for it but I keep drinking until I know I’m about to throw it all up, then pass it back to her.
I step off and walk to where Falcon and his friends situated and stand in front of them, pushing my chest out so he has to notice me.
“Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Ariel, you got boobs,” Echo says smiling wide.
Falcon’s eyes fall to my breasts then back to my face. “You should cover up.”
My hand falls to my hip and I have to hold the bench to steady myself. “I think… no.” My hands touch them on either side as I push them together right in front of his face. He looks, of course, he’s a guy. I glance at all four of them individually. Darby’s on his cell. Creed’s holding a bottle of beer but not drinking it. Echo’s smiling like he won a bet. Falcon, though, he’s almost unreadable except the clenching of his teeth.
“You guys have fun now.” I go to walk off and stop when a blonde walks past me, brushing my shoulder and almost making me tip over. Her hands go around Falcon’s neck and she purrs in his ear.
“Purrs! Who the fuck does that?”
“Cat’s do,” Echo says smiling as each and every one of them looks straight at me.
Fuck! I said that out loud.
The girl is baring her teeth at me, but Falcon isn’t even touching her. It’s her doing all the work. He looks at me like he wants to tell me to go to my room and stay there.
“Bye,” I say, waving them off and walking into my living room where it’s deafening. Everyone is dancing. Garret, our local school DJ, has my mother’s sound system out and he’s controlling the music. I try not to cringe at that fact as she loves her music and even I’m not allowed to use it.
Hands touch me and I’m pulled into a circle of our jocks—boys who I think are cute but aren’t him. Falcon. I’ve dated a few, however they never last long. Hell, I almost slept with one. That didn’t work out.
I turn my head to find exactly where he is. Falcon hasn’t moved from his spot in the kitchen, apart from where he’s looking. His attention is now directed at me with the same cat purring woman hanging off of him.
Jealousy is a bitch, this I learned a long time ago. Falcon is known to have a parade of women. He’s the whore of the group and it’s just my luck that it’s him I’m attracted to. I stay where I am most of the night, on the floor with the guys giving me drinks every time the one in my hand is empty. I’m sweating and dancing. Bodies are all around me. Tracey tries to pull me out a few times, but I don’t want to move. When I’m dancing, at least I’m not thinking about him and his cat purring bitch over there.
Hands wrap around me and I squeal, touching them with my own. Opening my eyes I see almost everyone’s gone. When did that happen? Turning, Falcon has a hold of me as I notice Tracey’s asleep and lying on my very messy couch.
“Fuck, they are going to kill me,” I groan.
“Who, Raven?” His nickname for me still
sends shivers down my spine as pinpricks scatter over my skin. I asked him once why he calls me Raven. He merely pointed to my hair and never said another word.
“It’s destroyed, the house is destroyed. Whose smart idea was this?”
His hand reaches up and wipes at my face. I brush his hand away, not wanting him to touch me, not when I can’t have him, it’s just unfair. Then I do the same thing he did and move the hair away while feeling the tears soaking my face. I’m crying.
“You should go to bed, Raven.”
I nod and glance around the room. Everything’s blurry now that I have my eyes open and am standing still. I almost fall, but he catches me then lifts me into his arms. His body moves and with each step I feel his taut muscles. When he reaches the steps I nestle in closely, clinging to him tightly and loving the way he smells. Fuck, his scent is all man. I’m wrecked for life—no other man will smell as good as he does. None.
“I want you to stay. Stay with me, Falcon.”
He doesn’t say anything, just lays me on the bed. I feel his fingers brush my hair away from my face and I reach for him, pulling him closer. Then ever so slowly I aim for his lips wanting to know how he tastes. He doesn’t stop me. Our lips connect and he seems to freeze in that moment then pulls back. When I open my eyes, a look of disgust is written all over him.
Am I that bad?
“Don’t do that again. Goodnight, Raven!” He says it with such disdain that, in that moment, he makes me feel less than I am and I hate him for it. I hate that he’s made me think I’m not good enough for him, and he’s made me question who I am. My head’s foggy and my body is playing tricks on me and as I sit up I lose everything that was in my stomach all over him.
“Oh my God.” My hands cover my mouth and he hands me a towel to wipe myself. I do nothing as he walks out and that’s the last thing I remember.
The next morning, I wake up with Falcon sleeping on my floor, my house is clean, and Tracey is still passed out on my couch.
3
Falcon
Now
* * *
She’s refusing to give me her number, but she doesn’t know the lengths I will go to get it. I missed out on having her once. This time I won’t. I’ll get my taste, then I can move on. Until then, it seems I can’t. A black-haired beauty seems to have been stealing all my thoughts for days now.
“Just give it to me.” I reach for Tracey’s cell and try to unlock it, but she has some passcode shit on it.
“I’ve told you a hundred times, no. She doesn’t want you to have it.”
I fall back in the chair with a huff.
“Why do you want it so badly, anyway?” I smirk at her, and she punches me. “No, you fucking don’t. She was in love with you growing up. Now she hates you. I prefer it that way. Leave her alone, Falcon.”
“Why does she hate me?”
She rolls her eyes at me. “You rejected her, I’m guessing. After that night at that party, even my relationship with her changed. She never wanted to come over to our house after that.”
“I was a gentleman,” I say in disbelief. That was the first night I saw her for what she was, a woman. And what a beautiful one she is at that. She still haunts my dreams.
“That I find hard to believe.”
“Come on, Tracey, give me her number. At least, tell me which newspaper she works for?”
“Nope.”
I cross my hands over my chest. “Fine! I’ll call every single one until I get her, then I’ll get her fired.”
She punches me in the arm. “This is why most women hate you. Don’t you dare get her fired.”
I lean forward. I wouldn’t get her fired but I will search and call every newspaper there is until I find her if Tracey doesn’t help. “You know I will. Wouldn’t it be so much easier to just give me her number?”
Tracey flips me off and walks out. When she comes back she has a piece of paper in her hand and pushes it over to me. “I’m telling her what you threatened to get this, just so you know.” I smile at my victory. “She hates you, Falcon. Just leave her alone.”
I lean forward to my sister. “Who could hate a face as beautiful as this?”
“Me. Now, fuck off.”
I lean down and kiss her before I leave.
“You can’t be serious. Ariel?” Echo asks.
I nod my head, smiling after telling him how I just scored Ariel’s number from Tracey.
“And you should see her, too. She’s even more stunning and that’s saying something considering how she looked back then.”
“You always think with your dick. She knows you. You think she’ll just fall at your feet?”
“Why wouldn’t she?”
Echo shakes his head before he walks into his office.
Creed steps past, looks in, then keeps walking.
Pulling out my cell I enter her number and start up a message.
* * *
Me: Why must you hide, when you were meant to fly?
* * *
I hit send and wait to see what she types back. The icon pops up indicating she’s typing. Then it goes away. I wait, staring at my cell, eager to see what she’ll say.
* * *
Raven: Wrong number.
* * *
Me: No, right number.
* * *
Raven: Who is this?
* * *
I smile knowing how she would be looking at her cell right now with her lips scrunched together and her eyebrows pinched. Just before I write her another message, my cell starts to ring and her name pops up on the screen.
“Raven,” I say into the cell.
“Oh, fuck me.” Then she hangs up.
I laugh, pulling the cell away from my ear.
* * *
Raven: Lose this number, asshole.
* * *
Me: I shall do no such thing. Marry me.
* * *
Raven: Die in a ditch.
* * *
Me: With you by my side.
* * *
Raven: Fuck off.
* * *
I send her an emoji smiley face, and she doesn’t reply to me for the rest of the day, even after I send her many, many eggplant emojis.
“No way, just leave her alone.” Tracey hits me again.
I grab my arm and stare at her—she packs a punch. “Don’t think I won’t tackle you, woman.” She hits me again before she walks off.
Storm sits opposite me trying to contain her smile—she’s Echo’s girl and they fucking suit each other so well.
“I can’t wait to meet her,” Storm says.
Echo laughs beside her. “She was always too young. What happened?” Echo asks.
Tracey comes over carrying drinks and kicks my feet off her coffee table before handing me one.
“She was too young, now she isn’t,” I say with a shrug.
“Please, she’s my friend. And you only notice her now because she is all woman.” She indicates to her tits talking about Raven.
Oh yes, I saw them all right. The same way I did all those years ago when she was underage.
“We have a rule… no hitting on each other’s friends,” Tracey says.
“I seem to have lucked out in that one, considering I only ever have men as friends...”
She laughs. “Did you only just work that out?” She laughs harder. “I made that deal with you for the sole reason of Ariel. I knew she liked you. And I didn’t want you fucking up my best friend.”
“I’m a gentleman.” Everyone starts coughing and choking. “I am, you fuckers. I always call the woman a cab. Always pay for it. Always tell them I won’t be calling again.”
“Oh, what a gentleman you are, because every woman wants to be treated as a plaything and then dismissed.” Tracey hits me again.
“Would you prefer I lie?”
Tracey shrugs her shoulder. “Sometimes a woman needs to have hope, and you don’t give them that.”
“So, I should lie to Ariel an
d tell her I want more than her body?”
Tracey’s jaw hits the floor. “Don’t you dare.”
I smile at her. “See, my way is way better.”
“How about you just don’t go near her?”
I lean forward on my elbows. “Now, why would I go and do a thing like that? Sometimes the forbidden fruit tastes so much sweeter.”
“She hates you,” Tracey states as everyone else around us stays quiet.
“Angry sex is the best sex. You should know that, sister.”
Storm coughs, making us turn to face her. “How about cake, we all like cake.” She tries to change the subject.
“I like cake,” Echo says standing and pulling Storm up with him. “I’ll take any cake you make, or don’t make.” They walk out without even saying goodbye.
“Why must you make my guests leave?” She sits opposite me.
“I did no such thing. They’re gone to have sex.”
Tracey goes quiet before she looks back at me. “She’s an adult now, so you have every right to chase her. But if you fuck our relationship up again, I’ll cut your throat while you sleep.” Tracey likes to threaten bodily harm all the time.
“She’s an adult now, remember that. What happens between her and me has no bearing on you and her.”
She shakes her head. “You’ve messaged her already, I take it?”
I nod my head. Of course, I have.
“And?”
“And what? You don’t want to be involved, so stop asking me questions.”
“Touché.” She sips her drink as we sit in silence.
Tracey and I have always been close. Even when we annoy each other, we’re close. Which is saying a lot considering how Echo and his brother are, and they’re twins. Tracey and I have a few years difference between us and I speak to her almost every day, sometimes more often.
