by Alexa Riley
I go to smack his chest, but he grabs me by the wrist, bringing my palm to his mouth. Our eyes lock as he kisses me there, letting his lips linger. I get lost in his eyes for a moment, forgetting everything else around us. I don’t even realize that everyone has left until I hear the click of the front door.
He cups my face and kisses me. I drown in him, thinking how for a few hours once upon a time I thought I’d never get this again. “I love you so much,” I tell him when he pulls back. “You’re why I held on. Why I fought when the darkness wanted to take me. When, for a few moments, I wanted to give up,” I tell him. Tears cascade down my face.
“I would have followed you into the darkness. I’ll never be without you,” he says, lifting me up. I should yell at him and tell him he shouldn’t want that, that if something ever happened to me he should want to live, but I know my words will fall on deaf ears.
“You’re going to hurt yourself,” I tell him in a half-hearted protest. He should put me down, but I know he’s not going to. Not until my back is on the mattress, at least. So I wrap myself around him, holding him tight as he carries me through the house after relocking the front door.
“Your dad knows we’re having sex,” I mumble into his neck.
“He’s probably saying a prayer right now that I’m knocking you up.”
“Jordan.” I try to sound shocked, but he’s probably right. Pop has brought up being a grandpa more than once, always in a jokey manner, but I know it’s something he really wants, and soon. I wouldn’t mind either. With everything that’s happened, I know life is short, and being a mom is something I want. I’d never given it a ton of thought before, until Jordan came into my life and made me his. Now it’s something that flutters through my mind often, but he hasn’t asked me to marry him.
My back hits the soft mattress. I expect Jordan to start ripping off my clothes, but he looks down at me. “I wanted you for so long. Since the moment I saw you. Then to have you and to think I almost lost you...” He leans down, his lips brushing mine. “For so long I’ve been drifting in life. Doing my day-to-day, and then there you were, making life feel important. Making me feel like I had a reason.”
My eyes fill with tears. I reach up, running my hands through his hair. “I never thought I belonged until you made me feel that way. You’re the first person in my life to make me feel normal, Jordan. Like I fit somewhere.”
“You’re not normal,” he corrects. “You’re perfect.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Jordan
She is. She’s the most perfect woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, and any man who passed up a chance to be with her was a fool. But it’s by design that they missed their opportunity, because now she’s mine and they’ll never have another chance for her attention. It’s all for me.
“I can’t hold back much longer, Jay,” I say, kissing her softly.
“I know.” She rubs my chest before she gathers my shirt and pulls it off me.
I push hers up, needing her skin against mine. It’s been so long since we’ve had contact like this, and I’m starved.
At night when we would come to bed, she insisted on wearing one of my shirts and a pair of shorts. She knew if she was naked, there was no way I’d keep off of her, and it’s been torture ever since.
The feel of her bare stomach against mine is so fucking erotic I almost come in my shorts. I can’t control myself as I pull down the cups of her bra, revealing her breasts so that I can press them to my chest.
“Fuck, I’ve missed your nipples on me,” I moan, and I hear her laugh.
I rub my upper half against hers, needing the contact. I should take the time to remove her clothes, but I’ve got a one-track mind right now. She wiggles under me, and then more skin is exposed. I look down and see she’s gotten her shorts and her shirt off, but her bra is still pulled down below her tits.
“Get your cock out.” Her face is serious now, and I see that her need has risen as high as mine.
“Yes, ma’am,” I grunt as I reach down and unzip my shorts.
I don’t have them halfway off my ass before I’m seeking her wet heat and thrusting home.
“Oh God,” we both moan at the same time.
“It’s better than I remembered,” I say, and she pulses around me. I know it’s only been a week, but it’s felt like an eternity. “I can’t last.”
My words are choked as I hold myself still, trying desperately to think of baseball and horror movies. Nothing is working, though. The image of Jay under me, legs spread, filled with my cock, is too much. I make the mistake of glancing down at where we’re joined, and I groan in agony.
“Fuck, that’s so hot. Seeing you take all of me.”
“Move, Jordan, please,” she begs and presses her chest up as she squeezes her eyes tight.
She’s aching for me to make love to her. Her body needs it, and I’ll be damned if I don’t give her what she needs.
“Grab my shoulders, little bird.”
She does as I say, and I slide one arm under her lower back, lifting her hips. The other hand goes to her hip and grips her hard as I start to thrust.
“I’m going to come, but I’m not going to stop,” I say through gritted teeth.
Her eyes lock with mine, and she clenches around me. She gets so turned on when I release inside her, and seeing her turned on is a drug for me.
I use her body to give her what she wants, and I feel my orgasm rush out of me. Warmth spreads between us, but I don’t stop thrusting. She looks down at where we’re connected and licks her lips, and I swear I pulse more come into her at the sight.
Holding her hips just right, I make sure that her clit is being rubbed every time I enter her. The feeling of her warm channel coated in my seed is enough to bring me back to the edge in seconds. She’s gripping me tight and begging for just a little more as I see she’s approaching the edge.
I keep my thrusts hard and steady as her nails dig into me. “Jordan!” she cries out as her body locks up, but I don’t stop my rhythm.
I ride her hard as the pleasure washes over her. I can see the peaks, and when she gasps for air, I make sure another is there waiting on her. Her orgasm goes on and on, and I come with her, too. But my release does nothing to soften my cock, and I use the thick, hard length to give her endless paradise.
When her arms fall to the bed and her eyes are almost closed, I kiss her softly and slip free, moving to her side.
“More,” she mumbles sleepily and smiles as I kiss her neck.
I bury my face in her hair, smelling her sweetness and running my hands over her lush curves. “Rest, little bird. I’ve got more waiting when you wake up.”
She mumbles something about doing it while she sleeps, and it makes me laugh. She’s so cute when she’s drunk on love.
“Just a quick nap. Then I’m waking you up,” I say, and she nods in agreement.
She’s snoring before she gets the second nod, and I kiss her forehead.
I’ve got a plan for later on today, and it would help if she’s completely exhausted. I’ll give her ten minutes to sleep, then I’m getting more of what I’ve been missing. As soon as she’s unable to walk, I’ve got a few things I need to take care of.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Jordan
My thighs ache as I walk toward the house. I smile, thinking about why they’re hurting so much. I spent hours making love to my woman in every position we could get into without hurting her wrist or my shoulder permanently.
The thought of our injuries makes me want to turn around and run back home, to crawl into bed and make sure she’s safe. But I can’t. I’ve got to do this, and then I can go to her.
“It’s me, Pop,” I call out as I use my key to get in the house.
He’s sitting in the living room with a book in his lap. It’s nighttime, but I knew he�
��d still be up.
“What are you doing here?” he asks as he watches me kiss my fingers and then place them on the picture of my mom. “Are you here for some pointers? I know you were supposed to have a big day with Jay.” He wiggles his eyebrows, and I groan.
“Gross, and no.”
I look down at my watch, thinking how long I’ve left her alone. I know I checked the locks a few times and made sure the security guard in the building knew no one was allowed up. I could probably call and check to see if she’s okay, but this is supposed to be a surprise. Anxiety picks up, and I wonder how fast I could get back to her. What if something went wrong again?
“Jordan!” My dad’s tone snaps me out of my train of thought. “Sit down. I know why you’re here.” I try to interrupt him, but he raises his hand to make me stop. “You know how much I loved Mom.”
I nod, waiting for him to get to the point.
“She was my world until you came along. Then it grew. She was the absolute light of our lives. I didn’t know what love was until she gave it to me. I didn’t know what it meant to have someone consume your whole being and to worship every inch of someone’s soul.”
“I know, Pop. She loved you, too.”
“Then listen to me when I say this, Jordan.” He sets his book on the table beside him and leans forward. “If you love Jay the way I love your mother, don’t take her light away.”
I’m confused and open my mouth to speak, but he stops me again.
“Jay has a light inside her, just like Mom did. A light so bright you can’t help but be drawn to it. It will consume every part of you it touches and make you feel warmth like you can’t imagine. But if you stand over her and smother it, it will go out.”
He gives me a hard look, and I feel a pain in my chest.
“You’ve both been through something traumatic, but life doesn’t stop. You can’t predict the future, and you can’t change the past.” I see tears form in his eyes. “I would trade everything I have for one more day with your mother, but living in fear that the same might happen to you doesn’t honor her memory.”
“I know. She would want you to be happy,” I admit.
“She would want me to live,” he says. “I worried about you every time you got in a car after the accident. Every time I saw the scar on your face, it was a reminder of what we both lost. But I couldn’t keep you from getting in cars. I couldn’t stop you from going out into the world. It wouldn’t have been fair to your spirit. And it’s not fair to Jay’s.”
He’s right. I drop my head in my hands and take a deep breath.
“It’s been a week, but I see how you’ve isolated her. Don’t let it continue, Jordan. Let her light be the thing that guides you, not what terrifies you.”
“I love her so much.” There’s pain in my voice when I look at my father. Pain that comes from the fear that I can’t protect her, the way he couldn’t protect his wife, the way I couldn’t protect my mother.
“Then love her how she deserves to be loved.” He opens the drawer beside him and pulls out a small box. “The woman who wore this before her shone brighter than the sun. Let the next woman who wears it do the same.”
I take the ring box in my hand carefully. I nod and look up to see Pop giving me a soft smile.
“It was only a matter of time after you met Jay that you’d come to get the ring. I’ve been waiting, and after all you’ve been through, I think you’re finally ready.”
“I don’t want my fear to push her away,” I admit. It’s been the thing that keeps me up at night since the kidnapping. “I have to have her, and I have to keep her safe.”
“You’re a smart boy. You take after me.” He winks at me, and it makes me smile. “You’ll figure it out. You love her, and I know you’ll do the right thing.”
I hold the ring box tighter and nod. “Thank you.”
“Your mother would have adored her. She always wanted a daughter.”
I smile, remembering Mom saying she wished there had been another female in the house to be on her side. “She would have,” I agree.
“Honor your mother and her memory by treating Jay with the same respect and kindness. If you can do that, there’s no greater love.”
I stand up and go over to Pop, kissing him on the cheek. “Go to bed, old man,” I tease and walk toward the front door.
“Go make me some grandbabies,” he says from behind me as I close the door.
I shake my head as I walk to the end of the block and wave down a taxi. I feel better leaving than I did when I got here. I know I’m on my way back to Jay, but my dad is right. I can’t control everything, and I have to stop trying. The reason I fell for her was because of her strong personality and independence. That, and she’s insanely hot. But if I try to change her life and keep her locked up in my building, it changes what I love about her.
I know that she’s my forever, and we need to be able to grow together as we grow older. But I don’t want to change things about her in order to make that happen. I will be by her side no matter what the future holds. Pop is right, just like always. I can’t smother her light.
Leaning back in the cab, I open the ring box. The large diamond was an extravagant gift from my father, but I remember him telling me that my mother deserved to have a piece of jewelry almost as beautiful as her. Seeing the stone sparkle in the night on the plain gold band makes me anxious to get it on Jay’s finger.
But like my dad said, I can’t let fear rule me. I’ve got a plan, and I’m sticking to it.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Jordan
“No. No, no, no, no. Not happening,” Jay says, and crosses her arms.
I smile at her and wait with my hands outstretched.
“Damn it, Jordan, I don’t want to go through this again.” She looks at the horse carriage and then at me.
“I’ve double-checked the horse to make sure he’s okay, and I promise this time will be better.”
Jay looks at me and then bites her lip. “Do you really want to have a do-over?”
I nod and reach out, pulling her in my arms. “You deserve to have the date you always dreamed of. The first got ruined, so I’m going to make it better.”
“If it means that much to you...” she mumbles against my chest.
“It really does. I want to make all your dreams come true.”
She looks up at me and smiles, placing a hand on my cheek. I lean into the touch, and she nods.
“All right, handsome. Let’s go for a spin.”
The past two weeks have been heaven and hell for us. Heaven because we’ve spent every day together, and hell because I’ve had to loosen my control.
We’ve both decided to go back to work in two weeks, so we’ve spent our days lying around the house or going to the park. It’s been amazing, talking and laughing and making love. I can’t get enough of her, and the more I have, the more I want.
Her sister called one day last week and asked to go see a chick flick. I offered to go with them, but I could tell that Jay wanted some one-on-one time with Summer. I could have followed them. I could have waited outside the movie theater until she was finished. I could have gone with them and seen another movie. But instead I chose to trust Jay and listen to my father.
By the time she came back home to me, she was practically running through the door and in my arms. I made love to her on the floor right in the entrance because we couldn’t wait to get to the bedroom. I don’t think my anxiety about being away from her will ever leave me, but at least I’m able to control it long enough for her to see a movie. I’m a man who’s obsessed, so I can’t expect too much.
Her wrist only had a small break and is healing quickly. She was released to go back to work next week, so we’re sticking to the plan. I know Jay has her own fears about what happened to her, and working for Osbourne Corp. again. But Mile
s called her last week and they talked for a long time about how much he wanted her to come back to work.
She agreed to try it out again and see how it goes. With Miles cutting back some of his work, she’s not needed as much as she was before, so this is a good time to start. She can work part-time and still be able to keep busy while figuring out if this is what she still wants to do long-term.
She started writing again, and to walk by the office and see her typing away warms my heart. She looks so intense but happy, and that’s all I want for her. For the both of us. Maybe one day she’ll do something with her stories, but until then, I know she’s happy just writing.
I’ve thought about proposing to her a million times in the past two weeks, but I wanted it to be perfect. The carriage we had on our first date was hired for commission out of state. So I had to wait until it came back into the city before I could reserve it again. Now it’s here, and this time nothing is going to go wrong.
I help Jay into the carriage, and her hands are clammy. She looks worried as I sit down beside her and we pull away from the curb.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m just really nervous.”
“It will be fine,” I say, running my hand over my pocket to be sure the ring is still safely inside.
“I love you,” I say, and kiss her lips softly.
She smiles at me, and some of her nerves drop away. “I love you, too, Jordan. So much.”
The carriage rides along the park, and it’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon in New York. The birds are singing, the sun is shining, and I’ve got my soon-to-be wife at my side.
The ride is a little bumpy as we go over some of the rougher pathways. There’s some sort of race happening today, so there are a lot of people passing by us. It’s not as private of a ride as I’d like, but it’s New York, so there’s never much privacy.
