by Jillian Dodd
“Aiden's cool though. He and I have a few classes together, and he's like super chill. Not the stuck up jock you'd expect. We’ve talked about how girls always disappoint him, like how he’s looking for someone special. Like last year he had quite a few girlfriends. This year he hasn’t had any. Says he's waiting for the dream girl.”
“What do you mean, the dream girl?”
“I don’t know, apparently someone he really likes but she doesn't like him back.”
“No way. That's bullshit. How could a girl NOT like him back. I'd pay a lot just to go out with him and sit and stare at those green eyes.”
“And have you ever seen him playing soccer with no shirt on? Seriously girls like go crazy.”
“So who are the hottest guys here?”
“Top 5?”
“Yeah.”
“Well Dawson, Aiden, Jake, I've never thought a freshman was hot before but Dawson’s not so little brother, what's his name?”
“Riley.”
“Yes, he should be on there. I'd say Logan.”
“Yeah.”
“And maybe Blake.”
“Oh yeah, he's in a band.”
And Shark and my's time is up.
We both walk out and sitting there is Aiden.
“What are you doing up so early?”
“Oh, just thought I'd say hey.”
Shark says, “Hey man,” to Aiden and as he’s walking away he says to me, “Odds just went to 2:1.”
“You look cute,” Aiden tells me.
“I look gross.”
“You always look beautiful to me.” (Swoon.)
And that comment just sorta hung there. Like someone possibly farted, and we can all smell it and know it was bad manners. (Why isn’t she swooning?!)
It was sweet he said it, but he knows he shouldn't have.
“So last night on the bus was fun.”
“I slept on your shoulder the entire way.”
“And you had your hand on my waist the entire way.”
“Didn't you sleep?”
“No. I just sat there and soaked it in.”
“What's that mean?”
“Look, I think it’s pretty obvious that I like you.”
“Um, sometimes it seems like you do, but then other times it doesn't.”
“When doesn't it?”
“When you get mad at me and won't talk to me, or you say mean things to me or about me.”
“I haven't done that for awhile.”
My phone buzzes.
Brooklyn: Keats, call me today, please. I love you. I can't stand having you mad at me. And tell your bf he's an asshole.
Aiden looks at my phone. “I think I might like this guy.” (A whole lot of foreshadowing. Aiden and B do become friends in the future.)
“Why's that?”
“The last part.” He grins.
“He’s not an asshole. At all. He's treated me like amazing.”
“I guess it’s just cuz my sister.”
“Your sister broke up with him. She could have forgiven him. Jeeze, we’re in high school, people get drunk, they make mistakes, I don't think he should be labeled an asshole for one freaking mistake!”
“Calm down, I'm sorry, you're right. I also hate him because he has you. Why does surfer dude still love you?”
“I don’t know.” I sigh. This is all so confusing.
“You gonna forgive him, dump Dawson, and get back with him?”
I think maybe I can talk to Aiden about this. He knows about the Keats quotes. Maybe he can give me some advice or some sympathy. “He quoted me Keats again the other night. Makes it hard to resist.”
Aiden’s gorgeous green eyes literally turn black in front of me. He gets a pissed off look on his face and says, “Yeah, well hey, I gotta go. Sorry about detention, well actually, I'm not. You shouldn't be dancing with a guy when you have a boyfriend. You deserved it.”
Then he marches off.
Okay, WTF??? (I’m with you on that, Keatyn. But come on! (Can’t you see he is JEALOUS? The kind of jealous that requires all capital letters?)
First, he's telling me he likes me, then, he's slamming me for hanging out with him?
For being nice to him. I didn't do the clover and the dances cuz I WANTED to dance with him! It was like a sacrifice I made.
I was paying it forward!!!
Isn't that supposed to get you bonus points in the karma of life???
Oh, I hate him sometimes.
Because me trying to be nice to him equals bad.
I got a detention, and now he's mad at me!???
I will admit though, detention wasn't all that bad. Shark, who has experience in detentions, says always opt for Saturday detentions cuz the guy that does them always leaves and you can talk.
What the hell. I’m calling Brooklyn.
He answers.
“Wow. It’s like what? 6am there?”
“Yeah. I was up looking at the dawn, thinking how much I miss you.”
“I miss the dawn, I miss the beach, I miss the way things used to be.”
“Damn Keats, that was almost poetic.”
“Yeah well, whatever.”
“Are you going to forgive me?”
“I might after Tommy kicks your ass.”
“He doesn't need to. Trust me, I have been beating myself up over this plenty. My chi is way out of whack and it’s because of you. My surfing sucks. My life is out of balance.”
You’re got to be freaking kidding me.
“So you want me to forgive you, so you can get your groove back?”
“Well, yeah.”
“So you don’t feel bad about what you did at all?”
“Uh....”
“That’s why I won’t forgive you. It’s always all about you!”
I hang up madly.
Oh, I hate boys.
Okay, not all boys, just two in particular. And then I think of the one boy that has been nothing but sweet to me, my adorable boyfriend. So I call him. (And he is there waiting for her. Easy-to-please Dawson.)
He answers with a horse, sleepy, you just woke me up kind of voice. “Keatie.”
“You sound like you’re still in bed.”
“I am, you done with detention?”
“How bout I bring you some breakfast in bed?”
“I just want you in bed, but food would be good too.”
I stop and grab three glazed donuts and a carmel machiatto, which are his favorites, and a bottle of water for me.
I go to his room. He looks so adorable when he’s just waking up. It’s like sexy. His dark hair is messy, and he hasn’t shaved since yesterday morning, so he’ got that five o’clock shadow. He doesn’t get one by five, but if he goes a full day with out shaving, you start to see it and it looks sooooo good on him. His hair is sorta smooshed up on one side, like you can tell exactly how he was laying when he was sleeping.
“Mhmmm, come here,” he says, pulling back his covers, and then covering us both back up.
I snuggle up on his chest, but he smells so good, I can’t help but kiss his neck. Just soft little kisses.
Well, they started out that way.
Then I kiss his neck with a little more intention. Up by his ear, around his earlobe, back down the side of his neck, then across his check, and to his waiting mouth.
And the minute our lips meet, I have like a wave of desire run through my body.
Well that, or maybe it’s because he’s got his hands between my legs, rubbing me. I’m not sure. It’s sorta hard to focus on thoughts just now, because he’s quickly pulling off my shorts and well, his. And uh.....hang on. I can’t think right now.
Okay. Sorry. I got a bit distracted there. Sex with Dawson is like consuming. He makes me feel amazing, loved, happy. And well, hot. I have never felt like I was hot. I mean, Mom says I’m pretty, and I started to feel sorta pretty this summer, but not like Megan Fox hot. Like those girls that all the guys drool over, no matter what their type. But Daws
on makes me feel like I could give Megan a run for her money. He always tells me how amazing I am, how sexy I am, how hot the sex is, how he loves it.
And having a guy tell you those things, regardless of how confident you are in yourself, how comfortable you are in your own skin, well, it just makes you feel hot and sexy. And I like the feeling. It makes me feel almost invincible.
“You make me feel like a superhero, Keatie.”
“A superhero?” How?”
“In bed. Like I feel like I could fly, kick the Hulk’s ass, bust Superman’s chops, all before lunch.” (I love this line.)
“Well, in bed, you are my superhero.” I giggle. “No one has ever made me feel like you do. Not that I have much experience in that regard, but you know what I mean. You make me feel sexy. It’s kinda addictive.”
“You’re addictive. I can’t get enough of you.” He kisses me. “I love you, Keatie.”
And it just feels right, so I say it finally, “Dawson.” (Interesting that she chooses this time to tell Dawson this. When she is pissed off at both Brooklyn and Aiden.)
“Yeah?”
“I love you too.”
We crashed for a while, me finally getting some much needed sleep, then we got up and went to work out. Dawson was lifting weights, while I was rotating through a little exercise circuit, trying to concentrate and not just sit and drool watching Dawson’s muscles flex. I will admit, I didn’t work out all that hard. I feel lazy today. And then I got a bit bored. So I started punching the punching bag again. Not out of anger, just like different kicks and moves Tommy’s trainers used to make us do. I like it because it’s fun, not monotonous, like jogging or doing the elliptical can sometimes be. And I’m having fun, getting a little stress out, when Aiden is standing in front of me.
“I was punching that earlier. Pretending it was your head.” (I can’t believe she says this. But I also love that she does.)
“You need to grow up. Figure out what you want before you go all telling girls you like them, then two seconds later deciding you don’t and walking away. It’s no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.” I maybe kinda snarled.
“I could get a girlfriend, like that,” he says, snapping his fingers.
“So why don’t you?”
He shrugs, “I’m not sure.”
“Yeah, well good luck with that.”
Dawson walks up to me, sweaty, but grinning. He sees Aiden, of course, and I think the iron pumping maybe got the testosterone flowing because all of a sudden Dawson seems very into me. He ignores Aiden, smacks my butt, says, “Come on, Baby. Time to get you back in bed.”
One. He never calls me baby.
Two. He never so blatantly lets people know we’ve been in bed.
Three. He never so blatantly suggests we are going to go do things in bed.
Four. Like not even in front of his friends.
Five. Like his friends have figured things out, are assuming things, but they don’t KNOW, because he hasn’t told them.
Six. And to say it to Aiden, of all people. He’s already punching my head theoretically. If I’m not careful, he may make a voodoo doll of me, and I will be going around doing normal stuff and like stop in pain, or start doing weird kicks in dance. He could make my life miserable if the voodoo doll worked.
And although on the inside I am horrified by all this, apparently on the surface, I find his smack and baby adorable. I grab his waist, giggle and say, “Already, again?” And drag him away from the god.
And even though mere hours ago I was chewing Brooklyn out about his inner chi being screwed up, I realize I am heading on the same downward spiral when I turn around, glance back at Aiden, catch his eye, and give him a satisfied smirk.
And the look that I got back, I really think it’s a good thing I’m inside because that look had the power to rain bolts of lightening straight down at me. (I’m thinking Aiden isn’t too happy here. First, Brooklyn. Now, Dawson.)
He told me he loves me.
2 pm
Dawes and I didn’t go back to his room. He dropped me off at my dorm, told me to shower and get ready, that he was taking me out.
My phone rings while I’m sitting on my bed, my hair still wrapped up in a towel.
It’s my mom!! “Hey, Mom!”
“How are you? I feel like we haven’t talk in forever.”
“I know. I’ve talked or texted Tommy a few times.”
“Yeah, what’s that about? I thought you came to me for advice.”
“Well, Tommy says since he’s a boy, he knows what boys think.”
“So how’s his advice been so far?”
“Um, pretty good, I think. It’s hard to tell. Brooklyn texted me earlier this week, and then I talked to him today.”
“Oh, what’d he say?”
“He’s begging for forgiveness. Not because he actually thinks he did anything wrong, just because it’s throwing off his inner chi or something. I hung up on him.”
“And how’s Gorgeous?”
“He’s really, really good. Told me he loves me, we’re going out and today I told him I love you back. Because I’m pretty sure that I do.”
“You don’t know? You probably shouldn't have said it then.”
“No, I do love him. It’s like hard to admit though. Like it opens you up to more possible hurt or something.”
“That’s the thing about love, you can get hurt, and you will get hurt. But some guys make the hurt all worth it.”
“Is that kind of what you meant when you were talking about Gracie’s labor?”
“Exactly. Getting through those eleven hours was brutal, but she was so worth it. The girls can’t wait to see you. They keep asking when Kiki is coming to see them, and Gracie said, We meet Kiki’s frwend, right Mommy? and then Avery and Emery both said, No Gweysie, it’s her BOY frwend. I’m seriously concerned they know the difference all ready.
“I love you, Mom. I can’t wait to see you.”
“I love you too, Kiki.”
(This scene also changed. This is the scene where they tell her they got a dog and named it Kiki. LOL)
Dawson took me into town for lunch. We stopped at this dive that he says has the best hamburgers ever and sat at a little picnic table out front, eating what was the best hamburger of my life. And I’m pretty sure it was because of the company, not the actual meal. He fed me french fries and bought me a chocolate cone with sprinkles for dessert. We wandered happily hand in hand along a row of little shops.
Oh and I started on the pill as soon as I got them from mom a few weeks ago. From what I read online it said I should be protected after being on it for seven days, but the doctor suggested I wait til after my first period to consider myself fully protected. I also started them on a sunday and the brochure said that means I will always get my period during the week, leaving weekends, well, you know. Open for fun. I’m surprised to discover that my period has started. I didn’t even have cramps!! I’m so excited about that I can hardly stand it.
Riley and Ace both texted us, said a bunch of people were meeting up to go watch some college football games at a big sports bar and then to have dinner there. It was gorgeous out, so we all sat around big tables on the sports bar’s patio and watched the game on the rows of flat screens. Then we went and saw a movie.
We did all that, he walked me to my dorm and kissed me over and over until I was almost late, and then I fell happily exhausted into bed.
Sunday, September 18th
Went to church service on campus with Dawes at eleven. Then we had lunch.
At lunch, Jake and Ace were trying to get enough people together to play a game of softball or kickball or something. They decided kickball would be the most fun, plus we didn’t all need baseball gloves.
Aiden and some of his friends volunteered to play as well. He was one of the first people Jake picked to be on his team. Ace picked Dawes, and then Jake picked me. Stuck his tongue out at Dawson. Dawson grabbed me around the waist, kissed me like a r
eally good long kiss, and then was like, “Don’t get mad at me after my team kicks your team’s ass.”
“Hmmm, what do I get if my team wins?”
“Me, of course,” he replies.
I flit over to our side of the field feeling happy and loved. Aiden snarls, “Now I want to lose. I never want to lose.” (Jealous.)
“Why would you want to lose?”
“So you don’t get Dawson. Hang out with me tonight.”
“I can’t. I’m going out with Dawes, you know that.”
“I need some help on my French, like really, we have that test on Tuesday. A bunch of us are going to the library to study.”
“Fine. We’ll study. After this.”
I take Annie with me to study for French. I told her we could study together and this makes it not seem like a date thing, which sometimes our tutoring time does. And I’m really happy with Dawson. I don’t want to mess it up because some silly god feels like messing with me.
We actually got a lot of studying done. Aiden brought his friends Nick, Angela, and Stewart. They all have French 2 as well, just a different period. We studied for a couple hours and then we were all hungry so we ordered pizza and went to Nick’s dorm room to eat it. Then we decided we needed to do more studying, but didn’t want to go back to the library.
Aiden suggested we chill in the hot tub at the rec center and we could still quiz each other on words and stuff there.
Honestly in the hot tub we mostly jacked around. Aiden picked me up out of the hot tub and threw me in the pool. Well actually he jumped in holding me. When we both came up for air, we had this moment. One of those moments where I was so mad at him, but then he’s holding me in the water, and I swear it felt like he was going to kiss me. I know he wanted to. Honestly, I kinda wanted him to kiss me. (One of those moments. . . One of so many in this series.)
I mean like if I didn’t have a boyfriend already kind of thing.
I like Dawson.
I do not like Aiden.
