Falling

by Amber Jaeger

  “Not funny, bad,” she insisted and pulled me down for a kiss on the cheek.

  Unsettled, I made my way back downstairs to check on Linc before going to bed. I was actually looking forward to dreaming.

  “You need anything before I go up?” I asked, standing in the doorway.

  He shook his head and climbed into bed with a satisfied grin on his face. “You have no idea how good real sheets feel.”

  I laughed and turned to leave.

  “Hey,” he called. “When did you start wearing jewelry?”

  I froze.”What do you mean?”

  He sat up in bed. “Those new bracelets. I’ve never seen you wear any jewelry, you don’t even have your ears pierced.”

  “Oh, right,” I tried to agree belatedly. “I found these at a flea market. Just liked them, I guess.”

  “Good, now maybe I can get you something besides a bookstore gift card for Christmas and your birthday every year.”

  “Night,” I told him in a small voice. I forced myself to walk normally up the stairs, afraid if I ran up like I wanted to he would hear the panic in my footsteps.

  So Lincoln could see the bracelets but not the smoke chains? I swung my arms experimentally in front of my face. Yep, smoke chains intact.

  Fear of Jordan and my new predicament warred with excitement over the same. I wished I could write down my list of a thousand questions and somehow bring them with me.

  Grabbing an ink pen, I made due with the limited space on my left hand and arm.

  Chapter 9

  I WOKE UP BIZARRELY REFRESHED in the room I was beginning to think of as mine. Ash was waiting for me and before she could stick her head in the oversized wardrobe, I asked if she had anything with three-quarter length sleeves. “I assume we won’t be wandering around outside with any demon animals tonight?” I asked belatedly.

  “Not that I know of,” she responded dryly, pulling out a raspberry colored dress. Despite my dislike for all things ridiculous and girly, even I had to admit it was pretty. It didn’t go with the color of my hair but then again, nothing really did.

  I was excited to see Jordan and ask him my questions, if I was right about him being djinn. I greeted him with a big smile in the main hall. His answering smile was brilliant and he leaned in to kiss my cheek. My face flushed red but in the firelight everything looked red so I told myself he didn’t notice.

  “You’re in a good mood tonight,” he said, gesturing towards the huge chairs in front of the fireplace. “Your brother’s doing well, I take it?”

  “Great,” I gushed. “He’s home now. A little skinny, but he likes my cooking so I’m sure I’ll have that fixed soon.”

  “You like to cook?” he asked, settling into the chair across from me. “Would you cook for me sometime?”

  “Sure. You’ll have to tell me what you like. And if I can figure out how to cook over an actual fire ...”

  He waved that worry away.”No, no, we’ll have whatever you need.”

  I squirmed in my chair, suddenly nervous. “Right, so about that. You just, think of something and it springs into existence for you? Is that why you want me here, to explain stuff to you so you can … create it here?”

  Jordan was quiet for a long time, just looking at me. I did my best to hold his gaze, watching the fire reflect in his eyes. Embarrassed, I finally looked away.

  “Do they know much about us, where you’re from?” he asked eventually. I couldn’t tell if he was angry.

  “Um, not really. I guess I just asked the right person and got a book.”

  He leaned back in his chair, kicked his booted feet towards the fireplace and crossed them. He seemed utterly at home even though we were seated in a massive hall with people walking through, some even stopping to chat with each other. It felt like sitting down and having a conversation in Grand Central Station. “So what did you learn?”

  I tucked my feet under me and settled back in my chair. I used the side of the chair to hide all the little notes and questions scrawled on my arm. “Well, that you’re djinn?”

  He nodded.

  “And there are different tribes? Two for humans, two against and one that I guess everybody got to pick for themselves.”

  “Which am I, have you a guess?”

  I chewed my lip uncertainly, then nodded. “Marid?” I asked.

  He looked surprised, then nodded once.

  “Okay,” I said, getting to another question written on my hand. “Aren’t you supposed to live by the sea?”

  “The coast,” he said quietly. “We like to live by the coast.”

  “I guess I don’t really think of Lake Michigan really having a coast.”

  “Neither do we,” he said sadly. “Not much fun weather to play with.”

  “Oooh, okay, first, who is ‘we’ and do you really change the weather?”

  “I live here with my uncle, this is his fortress. It was his choice for us to live near the big lake rather than a sea. And as for changing the weather, I do it all the time. For you.”

  All of the questions in my mind shriveled up and blew away. I knew my embarrassment and confusion were as obvious on my face as a hand print.

  Jordan turned to me suddenly and put his hand on the arm of my chair. “You never wondered about the weather where you live? Michigan, notorious for unexpected, always changing weather has one little pocket over Hemlock Bay where fall is long and cool with thunderstorms weekly?”

  “Autumn is my favorite season,” I mumbled stupidly.

  “I know it is,” he said fervently. “That’s why I make it perfect for you. It never rains on Halloween; it’s never so cold kids have to cover up their costumes. I make the leaves change color and drop in shifts, lasting for months. That smell you love so much, it’s the leaves changing.”

  My stomach curled in on itself a little. “How do you know that?” I whispered. “How do you know that about me?”

  He smiled sweetly and moved his hand from the chair to my hand. “Just observation.”

  My stomach did a full out lurch and I jumped to my feet. “You’ve been watching me?” I squawked. I racked my brain trying to think of what situations he could have watched me in that would have revealed how I felt about the smell of autumn. That wasn’t just something you went around telling people, I didn’t think I had even written it in my diary. The idea of him peering over my shoulder as I wrote in my journal made me sweat.

  “Please,” he was saying. “It’s not like that; I didn’t invade your privacy. Well, maybe a little—”

  “Explain!” I demanded, taking a step away from him.

  “Your dreams, your Nightmare Town. It’s always autumn there, it always has that smell and you have so many thunderstorms. I just figured it was that way because you wanted it to be. Was I wrong?” he asked, standing up slowly.

  “So you were spying on me in my dreams?” I asked, totally unsatisfied by his answer.

  He took a step closer. “They’re so bright,” he said, his face full of wonder. “I had never seen anything like it. I couldn’t help but be pulled in. The details, the people. And it relates so closely to your real life. How do you know you’re dreaming, how do you not get sucked in?” he asked.

  His fervor over my Nightmare Town felt claustrophobic. “How long have you been watching me?” I asked. No matter what he answered I wasn’t going to like it.

  Jordan shrugged uncomfortably. “Since your mother died.”

  I closed my eyes and prayed to sink into the ground. That’s when I had started going to Nightmare Town every night. After my mom died, I felt like maybe I could find her there and refused to move on until every nook and cranny had been searched. Obviously, I had never found her and neither had I moved on from Nightmare Town. Those first weeks of dreaming and searching there had been one of the most painful times of my life. And I had had an unseen audience the whole time.

  “Can we be done now?” I asked, still not opening my eyes.

  “We’ll never be done,�
�� he said quietly.

  I nodded, finally beginning to realize the crushing truth of that statement. “Can we be done for tonight?” I rephrased, willing my tears to wait until I was safely alone in my real bed.

  “Are you angry?”

  My fists balled up and scrubbed at my stinging eyes. “No. A little, maybe. I don’t know.”

  “You’re embarrassed?” he guessed.

  “Wouldn’t you be?” I snapped. “You’re spying on something I didn’t even know it was possible for someone to spy on!”

  “I didn’t know any other way to get to know you,” he said, like that was a perfectly acceptable explanation.

  “You could have just come up and introduced yourself.”

  “You wouldn’t have known I was real,” he argued.

  “In real life then. Why not introduce yourself to me while I’m awake?”

  It was finally his turn to look uncomfortable. “I can’t do that. It doesn’t tend to go so well when humans and djinn meet in real life.”

  “Isn’t this your real life?” I pointed out.

  “Yes, but you’re asleep, you’re only a shadow here. If your body was here, the effects would be … overwhelming to you.”

  Despite my anger, my curiosity got the best of me. “And if you were in my real world?”

  He rubbed his chin, then finally said, “I wouldn’t look like this.”

  “That’s all?” I scoffed. “I still would have talked to you even if you weren’t as good looking.”

  “Thank you,” he said, amused at my accidental admission. “But that’s not it. I wouldn’t look as human to you, I would look more like myself.” He struggled for a word. “Sharper, maybe.”

  I jerked back as he took another step towards me. “Please don’t be angry,” he pleaded.

  I held my hand up, needing a moment to clear my mind. The bracelet on my wrist sparkled in the firelight. “I have another question.”

  He inclined his head.

  “People can see these bracelets?”

  He nodded once.

  “But not the smoke chains?”

  “No. Other djinn could see them but I can’t imagine you would encounter one in your world.”

  “So no one knows?”

  Jordan took another step closer but stopped as I danced away. “No one knows what? Who do you mean?”

  “I mean my brother, my family. I don’t care about the people … or whatever … here. I just don’t want anyone to know about this. Or that I’m crazy.”

  Jordan’s mouth turned up slightly at the corners. “You still think this isn’t real? That I’m some figment of your imagination that managed to put real bracelets on your wrists?”

  I sighed and was horrified to feel a tear slip down my cheek. I slapped it away as quickly as I could but Jordan saw it and was in front of me in an instant. The armchairs blocked my escape and I screwed my eyes shut, praying the tears would stop and no one would notice.

  A single snap from Jordan’s fingers made my eyes fly open and I was astonished to see everyone exit the hall as if a fire alarm had gone off. “You needn’t be embarrassed over a few tears. I can’t imagine how hard the last few weeks have been for you and to now have to learn about a world you didn’t even know existed …” he trailed off as he brushed a tear from my cheek.

  My mind would not let my mouth stay closed. “It’s not that I’m not grateful for what you’ve done for Lincoln and for me. I just don’t know what I’m doing here, what you want from me, I don’t know what this whole situation is going to make my life like now. And my dad is home and making our lives hell and Grandma just keeps getting worse everyday. And when Lincoln finds out I quit the swim team after his car accident he is going to be so pissed!” The words would not stop coming, each fear rolling out one after another. Things I couldn’t say to my brother or even to myself were laid bare before a man I barely knew. The tears came as fast as the words and Jordan’s face blurred before mine but I could still make out the gentle, patient expression. Embarrassed and worn out, I brushed the tears from my face and tried to stifle my hiccups.

  “What?” I finally mumbled when he didn’t say anything. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  Jordan leaned in slowly and wrapped his arms around me. Pinned against the chair, I had nowhere to go but he didn’t try to press his body against mine, just surrounded my shuddering shoulders with his muscular arms and gently set his chin on top of my head.

  He didn’t say not to worry or that things would get better, he just hugged me and let me finish crying. Even Lincoln had never done that for me.

  “It’s time to wake up,” he whispered into my hair, causing shivers to race down my neck. I nodded against his chest only to have it give way to my pillow. I rubbed the last of my tears against it and heard the creaking of floorboards in my room.

  “Lincoln not okay,” Grandma whispered, pulling back my blankets.

  “Right,” I muttered, rolling out of bed. I didn’t hear anything but headed downstairs just the same. Light shone from under his door and I knocked softly.

  “Come in,” he called, sounding just as miserable as I felt.

  “You okay?” I asked, blinking at the bright light.

  He looked up sheepishly and ran a hand through his stylishly ragged hair. “Yeah, just a bad dream again.”

  I nodded. “You want to tell me about it?”

  “Not much to tell,” he said with a little shrug. “I just was … lost. Or trapped maybe? I think stuck, yeah, stuck somewhere I didn’t know.” His eyes started to glow as he recounted his dream. “Somebody else was there too. Not to hurt me, so it shouldn’t have been scary, but it was. It was a guy, I think. And he was going to let me out and I didn’t want to see his face when he came to the door. But it wasn’t really a door, it was like being trapped in the woods somehow, you know?” Linc flopped back on the bed. “No, you don’t.”

  “Scoot over,” I mumbled, pulling the covers back. I hadn’t slept in his room since Mom had died. He had threatened me with death then if I told any of his friends. I was pretty sure the threat was still in effect. That he didn’t even protest meant it had to have been a really bad dream.

  “G’night,” was all he said.

  “Night,” I muttered, praying I could sleep without having to go back to Jordan’s fortress.

  God must have been listening because I stayed somewhere in between. I could hear the crackle of the fireplace at times and Lincoln’s snoring at others but it always stayed dark.

  Chapter 10

  THE LONG NIGHT SEEMED TO last forever and I groaned when I heard my alarm clock go off on the floor above me. Lincoln just kept snoring.

  The swollen, dark circles under my eyes throbbed as I wandered around the house before school. Lincoln wouldn’t be going and that made me even less enthusiastic than usual. I considered skipping but knew there was no way I could get away with it so I dutifully attempted to get ready. It took me forever to even find my backpack and then I spent five minutes standing in front of the fridge with an empty brown paper sack in my hand. My dad eventually took pity on me and silently handed over some lunch money. “You have to take the truck though,” he said, proving once again his fatherly love had limits.

  I considered walking but had spent too much time in the shower staring at my shampoo bottle. I was happy Lincoln was back and okay, nothing could ever change the way I felt about that. But I was beyond exhausted and my mind couldn’t keep up with all the changes. Was I crazy or not? Was Lincoln really okay? What did Jordan want, why had he done all this for me? And when was my dad leaving?

  The drive to school alone with my thoughts was agonizing. I was almost happy to be around other people until I saw every head snap around as I pulled into the parking lot. The whispering started the second I got out of the truck and followed me into the school, down the hall and into homeroom. At least in my daze, I had managed to put on clean jeans and one of my nicer sweaters. It was green with a soft hood I could p
ull over my head in an attempt to hide. Attempt failed.

  One of my brother’s friends finally worked up the nerve to come over a few minutes before first bell. “So,” he asked nervously, “how’s your brother doing?”

  “Same as he was when you were over last night,” I responded, trying not to snap.

  He nodded very seriously and I could tell that wasn’t the end of his questioning. “So, what happened?”

  “I don’t know. I figured you got tired and left to go home.”

  That tripped him up for a second but he refused to get my sarcasm. “No, I mean with your brother. Because, didn’t we like, bury him?”

  “Yeah,” piped up one of the skankier girls in my class. She was always chasing after my brother and frankly I wanted to scratch her eyes out.

  “We don’t know what happened. They’re investigating.”

  He nodded again but still wasn’t done. “‘Cause that’s pretty weird, right?”

  ‘Why are you asking me?’ I wanted to scream. Instead I just said, “Uh-huh.”

  “You think he knows what happened?”

  “I think if he did he would have told us by now,” I grated. Most of my brother’s friend weren’t that bad for the most part. This one though, I couldn’t tell if he was really that stupid or he thought I was that stupid. Thankfully, the bell saved me from having to bite his head off.

  I was lucky enough to have my first three period teachers give not a crap about their students. They didn’t care I wasn’t there the day before and they didn’t care I was in zombie mode that day. I assumed they had to somewhat care Lincoln wasn’t dead but they didn’t let on to me.

  At lunch I practically ran to the truck and contemplated never leaving it again. After lunch was gym. And gym meant a whole locker room full of girls pestering me with no teachers to hurry us along or otherwise interfere. They asked the same stupid questions everyone else had already asked and again I insisted Lincoln didn’t know what had happened. I thought I would be grateful for any activity that kept the nitwits occupied but I was wrong.

  “Touch football,” our teacher announced when we finally had all straggled into the gym.