by Leanne Banks
“No problem,” he said, his voice a rumbling sexy tone. “You’re not heavy.”
She met his dark gaze and felt an odd weakness invade her. “Thank you for the time on the yacht. It was-” She inhaled as her throat closed up with some sort of strange anticipation or emotion. “Nice,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said and lowered his head as he splayed his fingers behind the nape of her neck. “Very nice.” He pressed his mouth against hers and kissed her.
She should pull away, but he felt so good, so firm, so strong. Clinging to his shoulders, she held on as he took her mouth on a sensual journey of pleasure.
When he finally pulled away, she was gasping for air. “Um,” she whispered.
He pressed his index finger against her lips. “Don’t say anything. I don’t understand what’s happening between you and me. I just know something is. We’ll figure it out. Okay?”
Unable to produce a sound, she nodded slowly. He had such a strange, potent effect on her. She knew she needed to remain in control. She needed to remain rational, but Rafe affected her on a cellular level, far beyond reason.
“Okay,” she murmured and he helped her out of the car and up the stairs.
She turned to face him, feeling the solid door behind her. She needed the sensation of hard wood when her brain and heart felt like mush. “Thank you,” she said.
“You are very welcome, Nicole,” he said and cupped her jaw with a hand, massaging her mouth open. He slid his tongue inside, tasting her, taking her as much as he could, but letting her know that he wanted more, so much more.
Pulling back, he stared into her eyes. “Say the word and I’ll stay with you tonight.”
Her heart leapt into her throat and she couldn’t have formed a sound if her life depended on it. Not even a word. Her breath locked somewhere between her throat and her lungs.
He slid his finger down her throat. “Another time, then,” he said. “Another time and we’ll be together in every possible way.”
He walked away and she leaned against the door, praying her knees would hold her. Catching her breath, she mustered her strength. She pushed open her bedroom door and stumbled to the connecting bathroom. Turning on the light, she looked into the mirror and saw a woman with lips swollen from kisses, eyes nearly black with arousal and cheeks pink from heat. That woman was her. Nicole couldn’t remember ever feeling this way.
She felt dizzy with want and need. Covering her hot cheeks with her hands, she tried to regain her equilibrium. She needed to rein in her wants and needs. More than ever, she needed to focus on what was right for Joel, but Rafe was turning into a constant craving.
The following day, she had little chance to pull her guard in place. Rafe played with Joel in the heated pool, and Joel begged her to join them. Rafe’s gentleness with Joel chipped away at her defenses. Rafe taught Joel how to float, kick and dog paddle. After they ate sandwiches by the pool, Joel was tired enough for a nap.
Nicole took advantage of the downtime to rest in a chaise lounge beneath one of the large umbrellas. Feeling the weight shift in her chair, she opened her eyes to see Rafe leaning over her. His hair still damp from the pool, his tanned, broad shoulders dotted with water, he brushed a strand of hair from her cheek.
“Looks like Mom is almost as tired as the kid,” he said.
She nodded, closing her eyes to his effect on her, but she wasn’t sure it worked. “Between the time on the yacht and the trip to Fort Lauderdale, I’m pooped.”
“You like the sun, don’t you?”
She nodded again. “The heat feels good. The breeze is delicious.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Did you know the temperature in Atlanta is forty-six?”
She met his taunting gaze. “You had to tell me that, didn’t you?”
He gave a low chuckle that rippled through her. “I could make you like it here. A lot.”
She closed her eyes. “I was relaxing until you started talking about Atlanta.”
“If Atlanta makes you tense, then all the more reason to stay here,” he said and covered her lips with his fingers before she could protest that he was making her tense. “Relax,” he said. “You’re here in the promised land.”
She closed her eyes and tried not to think about what promises he could fulfill. She took a few deep breaths and drifted to sleep. Some time later, Joel appeared at her side and tugged at her arm.
“Wake up,” Joel said. “We’re gonna play Wii.”
Blinking, Nicole sat up, noticing that a soft towel had been draped over her. Surprised at how quickly the time had passed, she pulled Joel close for a hug. “When did you wake up?”
“A long time ago. You’ve been sleeping forever. I asked Daddy Rafe to wake you up, but he said to let you sleep. He put the blanket on you.” He tapped his foot impatiently. “I want to play Wii.”
Her heart stuttered at his reference to Rafe as Daddy. “Okay,” she said, smiling at him. “Go play Wii and I’ll get dressed.”
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She glimpsed a slice of fear in his eyes. “Of course I am. I was just extra sleepy.”
“You’re not sick, are you?”
Nicole’s heart twisted and she shook her head, taking him into her arms again. “No, sweetie. I just stayed up too late last night.”
He let out a big sigh of relief. “Okay.”
Nicole realized that more than ever she represented safety and security to Joel. What if something happened to her? What would happen to Joel? The possibility clawed at her. Even though she’d made backup plans, Nicole hated the idea of him feeling afraid and abandoned.
Her stomach pulled into a square knot. Even though she was still uncertain about Rafe, she could tell that he was determined to be responsible about his role as Joel’s father. She would need to teach him.
Later that evening, after Joel went to bed, Nicole broached the subject with Rafe. “I need to tell you how to be Joel’s father.”
He shot her an incredulous look. “You’re going to tell me how to be a father?”
“I’m going to educate you about your son’s needs and how you can best take care of those needs,” she said.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “I have some idea about what a boy needs.”
“Your ideas may not be correct,” she said. “For example, did you know that Joel reaches for his purple elephant whenever he’s feeling insecure?”
Rafe’s face fell. “Purple elephant?”
“His name is Fred,” she said.
“Fred?”
She shrugged. “Joel likes orange juice and apple juice. When he eats too many sweets, he gets cranky. When he doesn’t get to bed in time, he gets cranky.”
“How many sweets?” Rafe asked. “What time to bed? Ten?”
“More than two cookies,” she said. “Nine o’clock bedtime is pushing it. Eight o’clock is best. And as you saw yesterday, if he has a super-active day, he needs a nap. He does best with a schedule. You have to stick to it.”
“Why are you telling me all of this?”
She suddenly felt a pain in her chest and struggled to take a breath. “Because you need to know these things if you’re serious about being Joel’s father. I may not always be around.”
“Why not? Is this because you might want to take off with Gerard Thomas?”
“No,” she said frustrated. “That’s the last thing on my mind. You and I don’t know how this situation is going to work out. And it hit me this afternoon that there are no guarantees. If something were to happen to me, Joel wouldn’t go to my cousin, Julia. He would be with you, and I can’t bear the thought of him feeling insecure or abandoned.”
He moved toward her and took her in his arms. “Nothing is going to happen to you. You’re going to be fine. You’re going to nag Joel for the rest of his life.”
Feeling his strong arms around her, she couldn’t stop tears from filling her eyes. She bit her lip and tried to laugh to cover her emotion. “I like to think so
, but you and I both know that there are no guarantees. You still need to learn what Joel needs.”
“I know. I know,” he said. “But right now, this woman needs to go to bed.”
Allowing him to lead her up the stairs to her room, she was surprised at how much she craved his tenderness. It took her by surprise. Perhaps because her father had given her so little compassion.
Rafe escorted her into the room and urged her down on to the bed. She sat, looking up at him. “I need to brush my teeth.”
“You want me to undress you?” he asked with a wolfish expression.
She smiled and shook her head. “You need to give me a break. I can’t take you on now.”
“Damn. If I had a little less integrity, I would have my wicked way with you.”
“If I stayed awake,” she said.
“Oh, you would stay awake,” he said with a dark need in his gaze that made her feel as if she’d touched a live electrical wire. “I promise.”
Her stomach dipped at the way he looked at her. She pushed herself to send him away. “Thanks for helping me upstairs. G’night.”
He brushed a strand of her hair from her forehead and she couldn’t withhold a sigh. “G’night. Call me if you need me.”
She shook her head, unable to keep a slight smile from her face. “G’night,” she said with more finality than she would have thought possible.
Rafe couldn’t sleep. His mind weighed heavy with the responsibility of Joel and Nicole. In theory, she wasn’t his responsibility, but in his reality, she was.
Keeping the door to his suite open, he paced his room keeping an ear out for Joel just in case his son awakened in the middle of the night. His son. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe it. He was caught between an indescribable joy and terror, but Rafe was determined to be the father he’d lost. Nothing would keep him from it.
He went to the bar in his room and poured himself a shot of Scotch. He tossed back the liquor and felt it burn all the way down his throat. The thought of Nicole burned him in a different way.
For convenience’s sake, he wanted to take her. It would be easier if she was on his side concerning Joel. But that wasn’t all. She made him hot and bothered. He downed another shot and paced his suite.
He heard a sound, a loud moan, and stopped his pacing. A few seconds later, he heard, “No! No!”
Recognizing Nicole’s voice, he headed for her bedroom. She gave a loud shriek. Another. His gut twisted at the sound of fear and desperation and he entered her bedroom.
She tossed and turned, screaming. He immediately climbed into bed and took her into his arms.
“Help,” she called in a voice that stabbed at his heart, her arms splaying around him.
“I’m here,” he said, holding her against him. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
“I can’t breathe. I can’t-” she said, clearly disoriented as she clung to him.
“You’re okay. I’ll keep you safe.” He held her tight.
She took several deep breaths then opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Rafe?”
“Yes. You had a nightmare.”
“I dreamed I was in the hospital. I couldn’t breathe. Joel was crying.” She let out a ragged breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” He felt her strain to get close to him and something inside him seemed to shift.
Moments passed before her breath turned to normal. “I should tell you to go,” she whispered.
His heart hammered against his chest.
“But I can’t.”
Later, surrounded by darkness, Nicole awakened to the sensation of Rafe’s arms still wrapped protectively around her. Disconcerted, she tried to recall why he was in her bed, but reality smudged together with frightening dreams.
Rafe’s hard chest meshed with her breasts. Her legs twined through his.
She supposed she could have pulled away from him, but she wasn’t at all inclined. Instead, she buried her face in his throat and lifted her hands to his shoulders. She’d always been afraid of his kind of strength before, but at this moment, she wasn’t. At this moment, she craved it.
Groaning, he lowered his hands to her hips.
Nicole sucked in a sharp breath and went still.
He squeezed her hips and drew her into his crotch.
Oh.
Help.
“You feel so good,” he muttered, rubbing his mouth over her hair.
Her pulse skittered inside her. More than anything, she wanted him closer. He could protect her, make her feel safe.
He thrust against her and she felt his hardness. “I want you,” he muttered against her throat.
She wondered if he was fully awake, but part of her didn’t care. He felt so powerful, strong and good.
He touched one of her breasts and hesitated. He swore. “I want to be inside you,” he said. “As deep as I can get.” His body shuddered against hers. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked, slipping his hand beneath her chin and lifting it so she would meet his dark, sensuous gaze. “Are you sure you want me to take you?”
She trembled inside and out. No hiding now, she thought, his sense of honor doing crazy things to her. “Yes, I do,” she whispered. “I do.”
He pulled down her panties and his boxers and seconds later, she felt him rubbing against her where she was wet and swollen. He cupped her breasts and stroked her nipples. The friction of him against her most sensitive place stole her breath.
Arching against him, she spread her thighs, aching for him.
He stroked her with his fingers and took her mouth in an endless kiss that made her feel as if she were drowning. With each caress from his hands and mouth, she grew more restless.
“Rafe,” she said, the husky sound matching her need.
He knew what she needed and thrust inside her with one delicious, filling stroke.
“Oh,” she moaned.
“Oh,” he echoed and swore. With a mind-robbing rhythm, he sent her over the top and followed after.
Eight
Nicole closed her eyes as she tried to catch her breath. Lying beside Rafe, she couldn’t believe how fast-how easily…She gulped in another breath of air, desperately seeking some measure of sanity.
Their coupling had been so primitive and passionate. Taking him and being taken by him had blown the aftereffects of her nightmare clear to smithereens. How could she have gone from complete terror to pleasure to some sort of strange peace in minutes? How could he affect her so powerfully?
A stab of vulnerability shot through her.
As if he knew, his hand wrapped around hers. After their house-on-fire lovemaking, the tenderness of his gesture made her feel like weeping. She took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay.
“You okay?” he asked in a low voice.
She nodded, but the gravity of the step she’d just taken began to sink in. “We didn’t use protection,” she whispered, pulling her hand away from his and sitting up.
“Yeah, I know,” he said, sitting up, too.
Panic raced through her. “Oh, my God.”
He put his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, there’s no need to go crazy. One time without contraception doesn’t guarantee a pregnancy.”
His words offered little comfort. “No, but-”
“If it does happen, we can get married,” he said calmly.
She gaped at him in shock. “Married,” she echoed and began to shake her head.
“It’s not the worst thing in the world. You and I have something big in common. Joel. That’s more than a lot of people getting married have in common.”
“But we hardly even know each other. We don’t love each other.”
He dropped his hands from her shoulders and shrugged. “So, what’s love anyway? Intense lust? I think we proved we have that for each other.”
Appalled by his cavalier attitude, she shook her head. “You don’t believe in love?”
A shadow of cynicism crossed his face. “I thought I did one time
. I was wrong.”
He was speaking of Tabitha. He’d thought he was in love with her. Her stomach gave a vicious wrench. For an awful second, she feared she was some kind of substitution for her sister. Suddenly feeling overexposed in every way, she pulled the bedspread over her.
“Cold?” he asked.
She nodded, but the feeling wasn’t just physical. “I-uh.” She cleared her throat. “This is awkward, but I need to be alone.”
“Buyer’s remorse?” he asked, still beautifully, unabashedly naked.
She bit her lip. “Overwhelmed. It happened so fast. I didn’t think it through.”
“Are you suggesting that I pushed you? Because-”
“No,” she said. “If anything it was the opposite. That dream was so frightening. I was desperate to feel alive.”
“Any man would do?” he asked, lifting a dark brow.
“Of course not.” She sighed. “I’m not myself. I’m rattled. I need-” She took another breath. “I need some time alone.”
“Okay,” he said, touching his finger to her nose. “But be forewarned, if you start screaming again, I’m coming in here.”
She smiled, but suspected it came across as more of a grimace. “No more screaming.”
He shot her a look full of sensual promise as he rose from the bed. “No need to be rash. Under the right circumstances, screaming can be good.”
She forced herself to look away from him as he pulled on his boxers. He caught her by surprise when he slid his hand beneath her chin and kissed her. “Don’t worry. Things could be much worse,” he said, then left her to sort out her thoughts.
After he left, she waited for herself to settle down, to become rational again. Even though she’d known she was attracted to Rafe, there were so many reasons for her not to give in to her feelings.
First, she needed to remain objective for Joel’s sake. She still needed to find out if Rafe had any potential of being abusive, and if she did, she would fight to the death to keep him away from Joel. Secondly, her sister had been involved with Rafe. She’d always stayed away from men who’d dated Tabitha. If a man fell for Tabitha, then he couldn’t possibly be right for Nicole. She was too different. Beyond those two mountains of objections, she’d just learned that Rafe didn’t believe in love. Did she want to spend her entire life with such a cynical man?
