by Leanne Banks
“If you hit him, you’re no better than he is,” she said in a low voice.
He took another breath to try to calm himself and lowered his fist. “First, don’t speak that way to my wife,” Rafe said, and watched Livingstone’s composure slip.
“Second, I won that deal because I worked it better than you did,” Rafe said.
Nicole looked up at him. “Is this the Greek deal I told you about?”
Rafe nodded. “I’d been talking to the same company.”
“You bastard,” Livingstone said.
“Not bastard,” Rafe said, checking his anger. “Orphan, but not bastard. You can leave now.”
“Not without my daughter and grandson.” Livingstone looked at Nicole. “Surely you can’t trust this man. You know you’re just a substitute for Tabitha,” he said.
Rafe’s anger flared again. “Shut-”
“The only reason he wants you is because you have Joel. He’s just using you,” Nicole’s father said.
“That’s a lie,” Rafe said. “Nicole is the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Nicole did a double take.
“He’s just saying that so he can keep Joel. He wants control of Joel’s inheritance.”
Nicole shook her head. “That doesn’t make sense. Rafe has plenty of money of his own.”
Rafe felt a swell of pride.
“The only reason he wants you and Joel is to get revenge against me because I broke up him and Tabitha.”
Until then, Nicole had stood firm, but that last dart appeared to have hit the target dead-on. She bit her lip and closed her eyes as if she were trying to gather her sense, her composure.
“Nicole, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Rafe said in a low voice, slid his hand around her back. She stiffened against his touch. The slight movement wounded him. “Nicole.”
She lifted her hands.
“Nicole, I’m your father. I’m Joel’s grandfather. Surely you wouldn’t want to deprive him of his heritage as a Livingstone. I’ll take care of you. I’ve always been there for you,” he said. “Where was Medici when Joel was born? When Tabitha died?”
Rafe clenched his fists at his sides in controlled fury.
She closed her eyes and he sensed her wavering. It stabbed at his gut.
“Do you know what a coup it is for someone like him to associate with a Livingstone?” her father goaded.
A long silence passed and Rafe had the sensation of hanging over a pit of snakes. Would Nicole really go to her father?
She finally opened her eyes. “Rafe couldn’t be there because he didn’t know Joel existed. You made sure of that, didn’t you?”
“I told Tabitha that if she didn’t break up with him, then I would take away her trust fund. It was for her good. Even you know she was impulsive. She didn’t fight me,” he said, giving Rafe a condescending look. “I told you before he just wants you as a substitute for Tabitha. He just wants Joel to get back at me.”
She flinched then seemed to stiffen. “That’s where you’re wrong. Maybe I’m only a substitute, but he wants to be a father to Joel. It’s very important to him. He loves Joel and would do anything to protect him.”
“I would protect Joel,” her father said.
She shook her head. “Only until he displeased you,” she said. “Joel and I will never live with you. I’m not going back with you.”
Livingstone’s face turned to stone. “You’ll regret it. Are you so desperate that you’re willing to be your sister’s stand-in?”
“Get out,” Rafe said. He refused to allow her to suffer one second longer.
“Who do you think you are?” Livingstone said. “Giving me orders.”
“You’re in my house and I want you out. I’ll call security if necessary.”
“Not man enough to do it yourself,” Nicole’s father goaded.
“Nicole is too important to me to resort to violence with her father. Get out,” he commanded.
As Conrad Livingstone stalked out the front door, Nicole wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes dark with turbulent emotion.
Rafe put his hand on her arm, but she backed away, not meeting his gaze. “I need to pick up Joel,” she said. “I don’t want to be late.”
“I’ll go with you,” he said.
“No,” she said quickly. “I need a few moments to myself.”
“Are you sure you should drive?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes. I’ll be fine. I just need some air,” she said and lifted her hands for the keys.
He pressed them into her palm and watched her walk out of the door. He couldn’t help wondering if he’d just lost his last chance with the only woman who’d ever made him feel like he’d found home just by holding her in his arms.
Nicole wanted to take Joel and run. Driving to pick him up at preschool, she felt as if she’d been punched.
The deal with the Greek shipping company. When had that really happened? Had she blown her father’s deal by unwittingly giving information to Rafe? Even though she wanted distance from her father, she wished him no ill will.
Her father’s worst accusation was that she was a fill-in for Tabitha. In other circumstances, she could have stood it. After all, she’d spent most of her life in the shadow of her sister. But now, now she wanted Rafe to see her, to want her, to love her.
Her breath stopped in her throat. Even though he was the strongest man she’d ever met, she wanted to make him feel safe. She wanted to make his secret wishes come true. She wanted him to feel her love. And she wanted to feel loved by him.
Panic coursed through her. What an idiot, she thought, pulling into a parking spot at the preschool. Rafe had made it clear that love wasn’t part of the bargain.
An hour and a half later, Rafe was swearing as he paced his downstairs office. With the exception of the tragedy of his father’s death and mother’s subsequent decline, he’d felt as if he’d usually held the lucky side of the coin. Not with love, of course, but with business. Today, he felt as if the bad luck gods had decided to pummel him. First the incident with Maddie, then Nicole’s father. He rubbed his hand across his face as he paced and swore under his breath. How in the world could he make this right for Nicole? How could he make her believe what she meant to him?.
Nicole and Joel had become as vital to him as his heart and lungs. The reality of their importance took his breath away.
“Mr. Medici,” Carol said, holding a manila envelope in her hands. “I apologize for the interruption.”
Rafe glanced up at his longtime housekeeper. “Yes?”
“Unfortunately, my new housekeeping assistant broke a vase of flowers in Mrs. Medici’s bedroom. Her previous bedroom, that is. The water spilled into the drawer all over this envelope. I wasn’t sure if it was important.” She extended the envelope toward him and he took it.
“Thank you. I’ll look it over.” He opened the envelope and pulled out the printed copy of the investigator’s report on him, along with two passports. Frowning, he flipped each open, seeing first a photo of Nicole, then one of Joel. Flipping through the papers, he stopped cold when he saw a listing of international flight departures from Miami and requirements for taking a minor out of the country.
Rafe felt as if he’d been stabbed in the heart.
Nicole had been planning to take Joel away.
From his office, he heard the front door burst open.
“Daddy!” Joel called.
His son’s voice twisted his gut. “In here,” he said, keeping his own voice level for the sake of Joel.
Nicole and Joel walked inside, chomping down the remnants of ice cream cones. Nicole offered him a cup of ice cream. Rafe was so furious he could have melted the frozen treat just by looking at it. They’d been eating ice cream when he’d been sweating blood.
He put his hands on his hips and looked at both of them. “Someone’s been having fun.”
Lifting her shoulders, Nicole smiled vaguely. “It seemed like a good
day for ice cream.”
Joel gave a big nod. “Every day is a good day for ice cream. I petted a turtle.”
“Yeah?” Rafe said, focusing on his son. “What did you think of him?”
“He was cool, but I’d rather have a gerbil. That’s what we get to pet next week.”
Rafe raised his eyebrows. “Really? You’ll have to tell us about that. What do you want to do now, buddy? Swim?”
“I wanna do more than dog paddle.”
“That’s my boy. Go get your swim trunks on,” he said and Joel vanished upstairs. Rafe turned to Nicole. “You and I will talk later.”
Her smile fell and her face turned serious. “What do you mean?” she asked.
He pressed the manila envelope along with the papers into her hands. “I mean, you and I will be making new arrangements,” he said and left her as he went upstairs to change into his swim trunks. He left the small cup of ice cream untouched on his desk.
Nicole stared at the passports and flight plans and her stomach sank to her feet. A damning shame fell over her. After she’d left to pick up Joel, Rafe had probably wondered if she planned to take their son and flee the country. Swamped with remorse, she covered her face. She’d researched those flights just after she’d received the investigator’s report about Rafe. She’d put together those contingency plans weeks ago.
The more she’d learned about Rafe, the more certain she’d been that she couldn’t take his son from him. As Rafe and Joel grew closer, she knew it would also devastate her son. Despite all her doubts, she’d known she had to help Rafe become the father both he and Joel needed him to be.
Now Rafe was furious, and she didn’t know what she could do about it. How could she fix this?
Hours later, after he’d worn out Joel and the cook prepared pasta, Rafe and Nicole put Joel to bed. Leaving Joel’s room, Rafe shut the door behind him. “It’s time to talk,” he said and led the way downstairs.
Nicole’s stomach twisted into a dozen knots. How could she explain? Even if she could, how could he possibly believe?
As soon as they reached the den, he turned toward her. “When were you planning to take him?”
She bit her lip. “I know you won’t believe this, but taking Joel was just a back-up plan. I had to make sure you wouldn’t hurt him. Between what Tabitha had told me and the investigator’s report, I had to be ready to do whatever was necessary to keep Joel safe.”
He nodded, his eyes as cold as ice. “You’re right,” he said. “I don’t believe you. It’s too convenient. Since marrying me, you gained shared custody of Joel.”
“You have to remember that I had full custody before you showed up only a month ago,” she shot back.
“That was based on false pretenses,” he said. “Tabitha lied by not putting my name on the birth certificate and you were going to use that to your advantage.”
“Only if necessary,” Nicole said. “Only if you were abusive.”
His eyes turned black with anger. “But I never was,” he told her. “You can have the master bedroom. I’ll go back to the yacht.”
Her heart twisted in her chest. “No,” she said impulsively. “Keep your room. Joel needs to see you as much as possible. I’ll move back into my old room.”
Rafe paused then nodded. “Fine.”
Nicole felt something inside her shrivel. Hope. Unfortunately, it wasn’t love. Heaven help her, she still loved Rafe with everything inside her.
Days and nights passed with Rafe ignoring her at every turn. Nicole didn’t know if she could bear his banked antipathy toward her. He hated her, but understood that Joel needed her. Therefore, he allowed her to stay.
Nicole struggled to find a way to make the situation better for all three of them. She even wondered if she should leave. The very thought of it tore her apart.
After Joel went to bed one night, she confronted Rafe. “Do you want me to leave?”
He shook his head. “No. I want you to stay. My son needs you.”
But not Rafe. Her stomach twisted. She sucked in a shallow breath. “I talked to a lawyer. I’m signing back full custody to you and I’m proposing an annulment for our marriage.”
Rafe stared at her in cynical surprise. “Annulment?” he echoed. “We consummated our marriage on the way home from the so-called ceremony.”
His words lashed at her. She cringed, but took another breath, determined to do everything she could to make the situation right. “If we annul the marriage, then I won’t share custody of Joel and you won’t owe me anything. No money. Nothing. Ever.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You would give up all your rights?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“I’ll think about it,” he said with a careless shrug, and she knew she’d lost him forever.
Thirteen
Each day that Nicole spent in Rafe’s house was harder than the last. She’d thought it would get easier. It had to, she told herself every night and every morning, but it hadn’t. With a mixture of relief and sadness, she accepted her cousin Julia’s invitation to attend her baby’s christening. Julia had also asked Nicole to be the baby’s godmother. In light of how Nicole has messed up her current situation, she was thankful for Julia’s confidence in her.
“I’m going back to Atlanta next weekend,” she told Rafe that evening after another meal where he barely spoke to her.
He paused and looked at her. “For how long?”
“Just for the weekend. Julia’s baby is being christened.”
“Okay, but you won’t be taking Joel,” he said.
“I hadn’t planned on taking Joel,” she said, unable to keep a twinge of defensiveness from her tone. “I knew you wouldn’t want him to go. I know you don’t trust me.”
“On the contrary, I trust you very much when it comes to the care of my son, or you would be out of my house.”
His words shouldn’t have stabbed at her, but they did. Rising from the table, she met his gaze. “Well, I’ll be out of your house next weekend. Maybe that will do both of us some good,” she said, then turned to go.
She barely took a step before she felt his hand close around her wrist. “What do you mean by that?” he demanded.
She couldn’t make herself look at him. “I know you don’t understand how I could have made those back-up plans to protect Joel-”
“How you could take him away from his father, from his home,” he said, his voice full of emotion.
She closed her eyes to contain herself. “The reason you’ll never understand is because your father wasn’t abusive and you lost him and your home. That’s all you can see. I wish, for one moment, just one moment that you could pretend my father was your father and he’d abused you.”
Silence followed and Nicole felt herself tremble.
“It still doesn’t change-”
A crushing disappointment pushed down on her and she stepped away from Rafe, pulling her hand from his. “That’s what makes it so hard,” she said, forcing herself to look at him. “Nothing is going to change. And I did this other very stupid thing that I wish I could change, but it’s not happening.”
He frowned at her. “What other stupid thing?”
She gave a wry laugh that hid a sob. “In spite of all the warnings from Tabitha, from Maddie, from my father, I went and fell-” She broke off. “Do you know how hard it is to stay in this house married to you knowing that you hate me?” She shook her head. “I’m going to my room.”
“Nicole,” he said, catching her hand again and the warmth of his hand reminded her of all the warmth they’d begun to share, but lost.
She shook her head. “Let me go,” she said, wishing her voice wasn’t so obviously full of tears. “I’ve said too much.”
The following Friday evening, Nicole flew to Atlanta, leaving Rafe with Joel. Rafe noticed his son pacing to the front windows then back to the den where Joel’s favorite cartoon was on television.
“Everything okay?” Rafe asked, looking up from his newspap
er.
Joel nodded, sitting on the sofa, but swinging his legs restlessly. “I wonder if Mom is with Aunt Julia and baby Sidney.”
Rafe glanced at his watch. Nicole had insisted on flying coach even though he’d offered the use of his jet. “Her plane was supposed to arrive thirty minutes ago, so I’m sure she’s on her way to your aunt’s house.”
“She said she’d call me when she gets there,” Joel said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“She will.”
“She’s gonna be a godmother to Sidney, but that’s not a real mother. She’ll still be my real mother,” Joel said.
“Always,” Rafe said. “Come here and sit with me,” he said.
Joel jumped off the couch and climbed into Rafe’s lap. Rafe felt a flood of love and protectiveness for his son. He was so young, so vulnerable. Rafe would do anything to keep his Joel safe.
He could tell that Joel missed Nicole. What surprised Rafe was his own sense that something was wrong in the house since she’d left. It was his house for Pete’s sake, so he should be fine with her not there. In fact, he should be relieved. Without her around, he wasn’t reminded of what she’d done. He wasn’t reminded of the fact that they were married in name only. He wasn’t reminded of her sexy sweetness and the way she’d once made him believe he could have what he’d always longed for with her and Joel.
In the two weeks since their wedding, he’d expected to see resentment in her eyes. Instead, he’d glimpsed her pain. Plus, she’d offered to give up all her rights, all the money he’d agreed to give her if they divorced. He’d thought it was a ploy. Now he wasn’t so sure.
Joel laid his head against Rafe’s chest and gave a heavy sigh. Thirty minutes later, his son was asleep. Rafe carefully shifted him in his arms and carried him upstairs. He considered putting him to bed without brushing his teeth, but knew Nicole would have his hide.
After Rafe helped Joel get ready for bed, his son pulled out a book about animal mommies. Halfway through the book, his cell rang. Checking the caller ID, he saw that it was Nicole and his heart stumbled oddly. “Hi,” he said.
