by Claire Raye
“Yeah, I get that,” I eventually say. “And listen, can I just say for the record, Sie and I, we…well, shit, we both have a ton of guilt over everything. Seriously.”
“What do you mean?” Caleb asks, a confused look on his face.
I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I mean that this was always supposed to be something the three of us did together. Getting out of Providence and starting our lives over again. It was never the same without you.” I pause, my eyes watching the cop in the distance. “It sucked and we hated it and we both felt guilty every time we had fun or whatever,” I say, taking another sip of beer. “And we both lived with that guilt every fucking day, Caleb. Always.”
Caleb stretches his legs out in front of him, crossing his feet at the ankles. “I made my decision, Reid,” he says, staring out at the lake. “I still don’t know if it was the right one, but it’s done. And you guys have nothing to feel guilty about, okay? Knowing you were both over there doing what we always dreamed about was the one thing that got me through most days.”
I look over at him, still staring out at the lake but with a relaxed vibe about him now, a vibe that’s been missing up until we landed in this house two days ago. “Yeah, I know,” I murmur. “It still sucked though.”
Caleb turns to me, an easy smile on his face. “Yeah it did, but like I said, it’s done. Now, we just move on,” he adds, shrugging a little as if to say, what else can we do.
“Hey,” Sienna says, as she walks out with three beers in her hands.
“Ah, my beautiful, perfect girlfriend,” I tease, grinning as I pull her into my lap. “With beers and everything.”
She gives me a weird look as she hands a fresh beer to her brother and then me, before opening her own.
“What?” I ask, laughing.
“I don’t think you’ve ever called me that before.”
“What?” I ask confused. “Girlfriend?”
“Yeah,” she says, smiling as her fingers brush through my hair.
I shrug. “Girlfriend, future wife, love of my life, take your pick, babe,” I say, as my hand slips down to her ass. “They all apply.”
She sighs, smiling as she rests her head against my shoulder even as Caleb rolls his eyes at both of us. I chuckle, glancing over at him before turning back to Sienna and asking, “So how excited is Ruby about the present we’re bringing her?”
Caleb’s head jerks around and I can’t stop the laugh, even as Sienna smacks a hand against my chest. “Seriously, Reid,” she says. “I can’t believe you said that to her!”
“What?” I ask, feigning innocence.
Now it’s Sienna rolling her eyes as she looks over at Caleb. “She’s looking forward to finally meeting you,” she says, smiling at her brother.
Caleb glances at me before turning back to his sister, a strange smile on his face. “Is that so?” he asks.
Sienna nods, taking a sip of beer. “And before you ask, yes, she’s totally fine with you crashing at our place.”
“And me too, right?” I ask, squeezing her hip.
Sienna turns to me, shaking her head a little, even though she’s smiling. “Yes, Reid, and you, too” she says, a hand on my cheek.
“Sweet.” I grin turning to Caleb and winking at him. “You’re gonna love it,” I say, laughing as Sienna smacks me again.
“Well then,” Caleb says, pretending not to care as he takes another sip of beer and glances back out at the lake. “I guess I really better come to Hawthorn then.”
“Seriously!” Sienna shouts, jumping out of my lap as she throws herself at her brother, wrapping him in a hug.
“Seriously, Sie,” he murmurs as he glances at me over her shoulder. I grin, nodding once as I watch them, loving how happy he’s just made his sister, who I know has carried the most guilt of all of us.
“Yes, I’m so fucking excited!” Sienna shouts, as she untangles herself from their hug. “We’re going to have such a good time. I promise, you’ll love it!”
I’m grinning, knowing she’s right as she pulls back from her brother and I drag her back into my lap. “So obviously we’ll drive back,” I start, glancing over at Caleb. “We’ll go together yeah, you won’t be able to drive with that wrist anyway and it’ll be more fun this way. Cool?”
Caleb nods, a grin tugging at his mouth that tells me he’s far more excited by this than he’s letting on. “Yeah, not sure my car would make the trip anyway,” he says, shrugging. “I’m probably better off selling it and taking the money. Fuck knows I need it.”
I nod, itching to tell him he won’t, but knowing now is not the time. If I tell them both my plans, I know exactly what they’ll do, and I don’t want to risk it yet. As shitty as it is that they think they have nothing anymore, I need to wait until all of this is finished and we’re far away from here before I fill them in.
“Well, I gotta warn you, dude, your sister has some seriously weird taste in music,” I say. “I mean I know yours is normal, but hers…” I trail off, shrugging as if to say, so not normal. “Hey!” I add as she once again smacks me against the chest.
“You told me you liked it,” she says, brows narrowed as she glares at me. “You said it was growing on you.”
I grin, slipping my hand under her t-shirt, my fingers brushing against the skin of her lower back. “There was definitely one song I really loved,” I tease, winking at her. “Why don’t you put it on now?”
Sienna’s mouth falls open in a little O shape as a light blush creeps across her cheeks. I burst out laughing, pulling her closer as I press a kiss to her lips. “From memory, I’m pretty sure you loved it too, baby,” I whisper against her mouth.
Sienna lets out a soft groan, kissing me back.
“Honestly, I don’t even want to know,” Caleb mutters.
We spend the rest of the afternoon sitting outside, drinking beers and just catching up. It’s awesome being back together again, especially with everything out in the open now; Sienna and me, all the bullshit family stuff. Everything.
It’s just like old times too, all of us falling so easily back in the relationship we used to have back when we all lived in Providence. Caleb and me giving Sie shit, teasing her about stuff. Sienna and Caleb doing the weird twin thing they sometimes do, where they know what the other one is thinking and they finish each other’s sentences and shit.
But now, with her and me together, there’s a new element to this little group of ours, and it’s great. Plus, I love giving Caleb shit about all the things I’m gonna do with his sister. It’s fucking hilarious.
“Okay, my shout,” I say, easing Sie off my lap. “Another?” I ask, grabbing the empty bottles.
“Yes!” Sienna says, handing me hers. “And bring food out, I’m starving.”
I chuckle, gathering up the empty bottles as I head inside to grab some more beers and some snacks, smiling the whole time because right now, everything feels so fucking perfect, I don’t ever want this to end.
But when I walk back outside, I instantly know it’s about to.
“Reid,” Detective O’Connor says as he stands with his hands in his pockets, a grim look on his face.
I put the beers and snacks down on the table before moving back to my chair, shifting Sienna so I can sit and pull her into my lap again. “What’s happened?” I ask. “Have you found him?”
He shakes his head, looking at each of us as he grabs another chair and pulls it over before sitting down. “No, we haven’t,” he admits, sounding somewhat defeated.
“So…” I start. “How are you going to…”
Detective O’Connor exhales, dragging a hand over his face. “Well,” he says, glancing at Caleb before turning back to Sienna and me. “I’m not sure you’re gonna like this, but…well, we had an idea.”
“What is it?” I ask, even as I feel Sienna’s grip tighten on my arm.
He shuffles in his seat and I immediately know this isn’t going to be something that any of us wants to do. “We were thin
king of using you to draw him out.”
I feel Sienna tense in my arms and I know I react the same way, a strange feeling of fear and anxiety washing over me. I’d thought when I took the things from my dad’s office and went to the police, that this would be the end of it. That I’d never see him again and I could go back to California and forget about the first twenty years of my life.
But of course I can’t and the longer we sit here waiting for Detective O’Connor to explain, the more I know that this isn’t even close to being over.
And as much as I might not want to do this, I know in order for it to end, I’m going to have to face my father again.
Chapter Eighteen
Sienna
I hate the sound of the detective’s suggestion. Use Reid to lure his dad out of hiding? It sounds like a complete disaster, not to mention incredibly risky. None of us have any idea what Reid’s dad is really capable of, but given the beating Caleb and my dad took, we know he has no qualms about murdering someone. But killing his own son? I would seriously hope it wouldn’t go that far.
“What were you thinking?” Reid asks the detective, and I feel myself stiffen in his arms. I can’t believe he’s even considering this. He’d be putting his own life at risk just so we can live a life that isn’t blanketed in perpetual fear.
Now that we’ve finally found our way back to each other, I’m not sure I could handle possibly losing him again, but this time forever.
“So,” the detective starts, but even he’s hesitant. “We haven’t been able to locate your dad or any of his men. We’ve taken down a few guys who either worked for him at one time or did odd jobs for him here and there, but it’s just not enough.”
He stalls out there, letting his words sink in, letting us feel their full weight. Without more informants, without more people to give information about Ray Bowen, they have nothing. But more than anything, they need Ray Bowen.
“Basically, we’re thinking if we send you home, he’ll come out of hiding,” he adds, as if it’s just that simple. Like Ray’s going to show up at the Bowen family house in the middle of the day and have a sit-down chat with his kid.
I have a million questions for the detective, for Reid and even for Ray Bowen, and when Reid opens his mouth to speak, I cut in.
“Listen, I understand your desperation to find Ray Bowen. If anyone understands it, it’s my brother and me, but I think you need to give us some time to talk about this and what this means for Reid.”
The detective nods, but continues strong-arming Reid to make a decision, ignoring me entirely. “We don’t have a lot of time. We suspect he’ll attempt to leave the U.S. and that’s the last thing we want.”
“We have plenty of time. It may be you who doesn’t, but for us, we can sit here all fucking day and if Ray Bowen is allowed to leave the country, that’s on you, not us,” I bite back, hating the way this guy isn’t allowing Reid the time to make an educated decision.
“Babe,” Reid says, but when I shoot him a quick narrowing of my eyes, he clams up. There’s no use in arguing over this and I know Reid will make his own choice, but I want him to take his time and weigh everything out. No good can come of rushing into this.
Caleb is the next to speak, and despite what he’s been through, he’s more controlled and logical than me. “Obviously we’d like Ray Bowen and his men to be caught, but I also don’t want my best friend put in danger. What precautions will you be taking to ensure he isn’t putting his life at risk? How can you guarantee his father won’t come after him?”
Caleb’s words are like a punch in the throat and my breath catches, making it feel like I can’t pull in enough air. Images of Caleb lying bloody on the floor fill my memory and then images of Reid in the same state are added to them.
There’s a long pause before the detective starts to speak again, long enough that it’s obvious he can’t guarantee Reid’s safety, although not that I thought he could anyway. It’s the reason I’m hesitant to instantly agree to any of this.
“We can’t guarantee anything,” the detective finally states, doing nothing to ease my fears. “But he will be wearing a wire—”
His words are cut short by the scoff that loudly leaves my mouth and Reid squeezes my leg as if to tell me to shut up. He knows better than that.
“Wearing a wire? You can’t be serious, right? That’s the first fucking thing his dad is going to look for,” I announce loudly, feeling like this detective’s stupidity needs to be made public.
“Sienna,” Reid admonishes, trying to get me to settle down, but it only adds to my anger over this poorly thought out situation. “I’m sure he’s thought of this and I’m sure he isn’t just going to send me in there blindly.”
“She’s kinda got a point,” Caleb chimes in and I shoot him a look that says thanks for the solidarity. “I think we all need a little more information before we commit to anything. While I know you’re asking Reid to put himself on the line, this is a decision we’ll make together.”
Caleb is right. We need to discuss this, get more information and then sit down and discuss it. Discuss it like a family because that’s what we are—family.
“Here’s what I can tell you,” the detective attempts to assert, sounding far less confident than he did walking in here. “We’ll do everything we can to keep you safe and everything we can to apprehend your father before it goes too far. Obviously we can’t predict the future, but we all know you can’t hide out here forever.”
He’s wrong. I could totally hide out here forever. I have exactly what I need: my brother and Reid, good food and beer and good company. This guy has no idea the shit we’ve been through together over the last fifteen years and being alone and away from everything sounds like the perfect life to me.
“I’m gonna agree with my girl on this one,” Reid says, addressing the detective and I can’t help but light up inside when he calls me his girl. It’s been such a long time coming. “Let us talk about it, get me some more information on what this all looks like and then I’ll make a decision.”
“We don’t have a lot of time here, Reid,” the detective presses and I hate the high stakes situation he’s making this into. While I understand Ray Bowen is dangerous and we all want this over with, forcing Reid’s hand isn’t going to make things any better. If anything, it may drive us all away.
“I hear you, I do, but you’re asking me to put my own life on the line and what you need to understand is that I have other people to worry about, other people who are affected by my decision. So if you could just give me till tomorrow, I’ll have an answer for you then.”
Reid’s firmness seems to settle in as the detective stands up and we all follow suit. As much as Reid hates his father and even though he’s the reason this is all happening, he has to have some guilt over it. It’s not a decision that should be made lightly.
“Is there anything you guys need?” he asks as if more food or booze will make us come to a decision faster.
“No, I think we’re good, but I would like a better idea of what you’re expecting from me before I commit to anything.” Reid adds and I nod my head in agreement, wanting the detective to see we’re a united front.
“Will do. And Reid, thanks again for your help. We honestly couldn’t have done it without you,” he says, and I roll my eyes as he walks away.
“Oh my god,” I spit out as soon as he’s out of our earshot. “Like he couldn’t be kissing your ass more.”
“I’m pretty badass, baby,” Reid quips back, tugging me against him and wrapping me in his arms.
“You didn’t need another reason to boost your ego, but unfortunately this guy is giving you one.”
Caleb laughs at my comment knowing Reid is far too cocky for his own good, but still somehow adorably likable.
We all sit back down, Caleb grabbing for some crackers and cheese, and I’m kind of shocked he can even eat right now. My head is swirling with how we’re going to handle all of this. It’s clear Reid�
�s dad isn’t going to show himself and if the detective is right, he’s probably making plans to get the hell out of here. Which, in the grand scheme of things is probably the easiest way to get rid of him and for us to go back to our normal lives. He disappears, we go back to Hawthorn and we all live as if this didn’t happen. But my own thought even makes me nearly chuckle out loud.
There’s no way Reid’s dad will give up that easily after his own flesh and blood turned him in. He’s ruthless and the only way he knows to resolve something is with payback.
So without giving it anymore thought, I put it out there what’s been floating around in my head since the detective suggested Reid lure his father out.
“I’m going with you,” I announce, looking over at Reid, my lips pursed, prepared for the argument I know is coming. He’s not doing this alone. There’s not a chance in hell I’m letting him put his ass on the line without me standing next to him.
“Like hell you are!” Reid snaps back at me as Caleb vehemently shakes his head in response. “Sie, I know you want to help, but this is between my dad and me, and there’s not a fucking chance I’m putting you in the middle of it.”
I love how Reid thinks this is his battle and his battle alone. He seems to forget the beating my father took led to his death and he also fails to remember what happened to Caleb just a few short weeks ago. We’re all involved in this whether we like it or not. Reid’s dad brought us together in a way that is far more complicated than any of us ever thought possible.
But what Raymond Bowen didn’t count on, was the way it would bond the three of us, the way it would make us inseparable.
“This isn’t just between you and your dad, Reid. Your father singlehandedly took down our family business. He killed our father and he tried to do the same to Caleb. If anything we have just as big of a stake in this as you do.”
