by Claire Raye
Caleb and I wait as the unmistakable sound of yet another power ballad fills the car. Chuckling, I shake my head as I glance at her and then her brother. “What the hell is this?” I ask.
Sie crosses her arms over her chest, a smug smile on her face as she looks at me, then Caleb and says, “It’s Bon Jovi. The song is called “Always” and you can both shut up because it is the perfect song for us.”
I can’t help but reach over and grab her hand, lifting it to my lips as I press a kiss to her knuckles. “Whatever you say, babe,” I murmur, even as I hear Caleb muttering, “Pussy,” from the backseat.
It’s only a four and a half hour trip to Philly, but it ends up taking a little longer by the time we make it through the city and to the Museum of Art where the steps are.
I manage to get a parking spot on the street and we all jump out. Before heading over to the stairs, I reach for a bag in the back of my truck, knowing this is the perfect time for it.
“What’s that?” Sienna asks as we make our way over to the stairs.
I grin, slipping an arm around her shoulders as I pull her close and press a kiss to the top of her head. “You’ll see,” I say as I feel her arm wrap around my waist. I glance at Caleb. “Ready?”
He grins back at me, his eyes shining with happiness as he says, “Race you up there.”
And before I can even move, he’s off, running up the stairs two at a time. “Fuck,” I shout, dropping my arm from Sienna’s shoulders as I race after him, the bag I’m carrying slapping against my leg and slowing me down.
“Hey!” Sienna shouts, and when I glance back, I see her running after us, the three of us all now laughing our asses off as we race to the top of the stairs, oblivious to all the stares we are attracting from people.
Caleb reaches the top first and by the time I get there, he’s bent over at the knees, heaving as he tries to catch his breath.
“Jesus, dude,” I say, nudging him. “You’re outta shape.”
“Tell me about it,” he forces out between breaths.
Sienna finally reaches the top, her hands on her hips as she turns and stares down at the view, the statue of Sylvester Stallone’s character that’s just to the side of the steps down at the bottom.
“Remember it now?” I ask her.
She shrugs. “I dunno.”
Caleb chuckles, finally catching his breath as he straightens. “We are so watching them when we get home,” he says and both Sie and I look at each other and smile at his reference to Hawthorn being home now.
“And the Creed movies,” I add, grinning.
“How many of these movies are there?” Sie groans.
Caleb and I look at each other and grin. “Seven now,” he says.
“Oh fuck me,” Sie says.
I step closer, putting an arm around her shoulder and moving us closer to Caleb. Sie puts her arm around him as I hold out my phone and snap a selfie of the three of us, standing at the top of the steps, wanting to remember this moment. It feels like the first step in our new life together, the life we always dreamed about having.
“Fair’s fair, babe,” I say, slipping my phone back into my pocket. “We’re enduring at least four days of your music.”
“Ugh, whatever,” she says, her elbow nudging my side, but she’s smiling and I know deep down, she’ll not only watch these movies with us, she’ll enjoy it too. The memory of so many nights of the three of us doing this exact thing during our childhood is too strong to ignore.
“Okay, so while we’re up here,” I say, turning to face them both. “I do have something for you.”
“What?” Sienna asks, glancing at the bag that’s still in my hands.
I take a deep breath, letting it out on a long slow exhale as I hold it out to them. “This is never going to undo what he did,” I start, my eyes on the bag, knowing it’s not even close to being enough. “And I know it’s never going to get back all the things you lost. But I hope, at the very least, that it makes things easier for you both.”
“Reid,” Caleb says, his tone serious and telling me he knows exactly what’s in the bag.
“Don’t,” I say, looking up at him. “It’s the least you deserve and when we get back to Hawthorn, I’ll divide up my trust fund too.”
“No,” he immediately says, shaking his head at me. “No fucking way. Not a chance in hell.”
I stare back at him, knowing that the money is his way more than it is mine. And as much as my scholarship barely covers my living costs, it’s enough that I can afford to do this for them.
“Yes,” I tell him.
“What’s going on?” Sie asks, glancing between us. “What are you two talking about?”
I hold out the bag to her. “Here,” I say, smiling at her. “This is for you two.”
Sienna takes the bag, her face wary as she shoots a questioning look at Caleb before she opens it. As soon as she sees what’s inside, she gasps, her head snapping up to me. “What is this?” she asks. “Where did you get this?”
“It’s yours,” I tell her. “Yours and Caleb’s.”
She stares down at the contents again, the bundles and bundles of hundred dollar bills that I took from my dad’s safe and that now fill the bag. I have no idea how much is in there, only that it’s a lot. And as much as I know I should have turned this over to the police, I didn’t. And I don’t regret taking it either, because Caleb and Sienna need it so much more than they do. Hell, it’s probably money my dad took from them anyway.
“Reid,” Sie breathes out, her face lifting to mine once more. “Where did you get this?”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter, babe,” I tell her. “What matters is that you two need this, you two deserve this after everything he did to you.”
She shakes her head at me, glancing quickly at Caleb before turning back to me. “We can’t take this,” she says quietly.
“Yeah, you can,” I tell. “You both can,” I add, glancing at Caleb. “Because I’m sure as hell not taking it back.”
Sienna looks at her brother, the two of them sharing a wordless conversation. Their struggle is obvious, because I know how much they need this money, not just because they’ve lost everything their family worked for. Eventually they both turn back to me, their faces grim as they meet my gaze.
“One condition,” Caleb eventually says, his voice firm.
I nod.
“You keep your trust fund,” he says. “We’ll take this, but there’s not a chance in hell you’re giving us any of that.”
“But—”
“No,” he says, shaking his head at me. “Not up for debate.”
I turn to Sienna, who’s watching me with the same expression on her face, her beautiful blue eyes filled with so much gratitude as she looks up at me. I smile at her, knowing that even without me giving it to her, my trust fund is hers anyway, because I’m never letting her go and everything I have, everything I will ever have, will always be hers too.
I exhale, shoving a hand through my hair. “Okay, deal,” I say, agreeing only because they won’t take no for an answer. I smile at them both as I concede this one condition.
Before I can say another word, Sienna jumps into my arms, throwing hers around my neck as she presses kisses to my neck, my cheeks, my lips. I meet Caleb’s eyes over her shoulders, see the same look of gratitude staring back at me again.
“Thank you,” he murmurs nodding once.
I grin at him, grateful he’s able to accept this small consolation prize for the years of shit he’s had to put up with.
“Anytime, Caleb,” I tell him. “Anytime.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Sienna
I keep feeling like it’s all a dream. There’s enough money now for Caleb and me not to worry about groceries or paying rent or really anything at this point. It’s more money than we’ve ever seen in our lives, but it’s also enough money for us to get Caleb some help. He won’t dare admit he needs it and I understand why. He’s worried he�
��ll be labeled, that he’ll have to admit our mother had mental health issues and defend against that stigma.
At this point we’ve been together for a few weeks and for each really good day Caleb has, he has one really shitty one too. I know better than to say snap out of it. I know better than to tell him to just get over it. I don’t know what he’s carrying, but I do know he can’t do it alone.
I’m so glad he decided to come back to California with us because now I can keep an eye on him and hopefully convince him to use this money to find a therapist. Actually I think both of us could benefit from it.
While I’d love to stay on the road with Reid and Caleb, we have to get back to school. We’ve been gone for too many weeks already and the last thing I need is to fall even further behind. Reid and I both kept up as best we could, but we really can’t afford any more missed classes.
We left Philly almost immediately after our detour to the Rocky steps and pushed our road trip all the way to St. Louis, Missouri, which took us fifteen hours from Rhode Island. Seems far, but not far enough. We still have thirty hours to go.
It was really just a stopping point and as much as we would’ve loved to tour some breweries, we head out early the next morning, all of us anxious to get back. The ride so far has been long and boring, the plains of the Midwest passing slowly, but it’s nice to also have the simplicity of the world now surrounding us.
“Where’s our next stop?” Caleb asks, given we all know we can’t make it the rest of the way from here.
“I was thinking Roswell. We’re only about an hour from there right now,” Reid says, looking over at me with a cheeky grin on his face. He knows shit like that scares the hell out of me, and Caleb cackles in the backseat.
“You two are such jerks!” I yell out in the confines of the car, my words loud.
“And maybe we could do some camping. We spent all that money on camping equipment on the ride back to Providence. Might be nice to use it again.”
“I am not camping out there,” I respond back, indignant as I cross my arms over my chest. “And anyway, where’s Caleb going to sleep? There isn’t room for all of us in the back of the pickup.” I’m grasping at straws here, hoping I don’t have to sleep under the UFO-filled sky. It may sound ridiculous, but these two will do everything in their power to scare the shit out of me.
“Okay, seriously, normally I’d be all up for it,” Caleb starts, “but I don’t think I can sleep outside.” His raw honesty tears at my heart. There’s not a chance Reid gave it any thought when he suggested it and I know he didn’t mean it to be insensitive. This is just our new normal now, our new way of thinking how things will affect Caleb.
“Hey man, sorry. That was pretty shitty of me,” Reid admits, a sullen look on his face, his cheeks a little pink.
“Nah,” Caleb says, brushing it off. “I’m just not ready to be that exposed yet. But I’m pretty disappointed in the fact that we can’t force Sie into doing it so we can make fun of her all night.”
“What is it with you two? I’m not that big of chicken,” I bite back. “Well, at least not anymore,” I add because I know they’re both going to bring up all the movies I can’t watch out of fear, too.
“We’re just teasing, Sie,” Caleb responds. “If anyone knows irrational fear now it’s me.” We dance around the truth in all of this, making jokes because it’s far too close to home.
“We don’t have to joke about it,” I say, not trying to kill the mood or anything, but wanting Caleb to know that Reid and I are here for him.
“Yeah, I know that, but right now this is how it’s going to be.”
We don’t push it anymore, letting the conversation drop there as we pull into a hotel in Santa Fe and even though I don’t ask, I know Reid chose it because it’s a bigger city than Roswell. It wasn’t for my benefit but for Caleb’s. The larger the city, the easier it will be to find a hotel where he feels somewhat comfortable.
“No doors on the outside, right?” Reid asks, his eyes glancing in the rearview mirror as he makes quick contact with Caleb.
“If that’s okay with you and Sie. I know it will cost more…” Caleb starts to say and Reid tosses up a hand signaling for him to stop.
“As far as I know my dad’s credit cards still work, so until the bank shuts that shit down, we’re using those.”
The ride the next day is long and by the time we reach Hawthorn the three of us are exhausted. I feel like I’ve yawned more times in the last hour than I have my whole life. My bed, my own fucking bed, is calling to me and when Reid pulls into the back alley behind our houses, I want to run from his truck. I want to climb into my bed, smell the comfort of its sheets and sleep for the next three days.
We’ve only been gone for a few weeks, but it feels like a lifetime and something about the campus and my house feels new and fresh, and for a second I think I might cry.
When I walked out the door just those few short weeks ago, I never thought this is where I would end up. I never thought I’d return with my broken and damaged brother in tow, with Reid as my boyfriend and with enough money to be set until I’m able to secure a job.
There have definitely been some bad times, but the good truly outweighs it all, and as we climb out of Reid’s truck, each of us grabbing boxes and bags, I can’t wait to have Caleb settled here too.
“You ready for this?” I ask him, smiling and he nods his head.
“Abso-fucking-lutely,” he chides back, beaming and I can’t help but wonder if maybe all Caleb needs is a change. Maybe just moving here will help him heal. We’re so far away from where we once were. Providence feels like a lifetime away rather than just a five-hour plane ride.
It’s a Thursday night and the whole campus is out and about. You can hear the din of conversations in the streets, the muffled sound of music blaring from the open doors of the houses and bars. It’s the sounds of my home, the sounds that I’ve grown used to and I had no idea I missed it so much.
The house is dark when I walk in the backdoor, flipping on the lights so Caleb can get a good look at his new home.
“It’s small, but it’s really nice,” I tell him, almost like I’m trying to convince him to stay. The backdoor leads into a small mudroom that houses our washing machine and dryer. The room is barely big enough to turn around in, but it’s enough space for me to slide the boxes that belonged to my mom across the floor and into the corner.
Caleb steps through the doorway and into the kitchen and I follow after him, telling him to turn to the left. It leads to a small hallway that has my bedroom and bathroom at one end and on the other end is Ruby’s bedroom and bath too.
Caleb peeks his head in Ruby’s empty room and then asks, “Where’s your roommate?”
“Probably out at the bar or at a party. It’s Thursday, you know what that’s like in a college town,” I remind him. Working at our family’s bar near Brown University gave him a pretty good idea. “She’ll stroll in here drunk around two o’clock. Plus she’s a night owl. Stays up way later than me.”
I pull my phone from the back pocket of my shorts, shooting Ruby a quick text to see if she’s nearby and wants to come home and meet Caleb.
Me: Where are you? I’m home and I miss your face!
Ruby: OH!!! I’m running home right now! Well, sorta, I’m drunk and in heels, so it’s more like shuffling.
I don’t bother responding back knowing she’s on her way back here, so she can’t be too far. I really have missed her. It’s hard being away from someone you spend literally every day with, even if there are days when we are just two ships passing in the night.
“I’m going to go by my place and drop a few things off,” Reid tells me, motioning down the block toward his house. “Even if I don’t plan on staying there,” he adds, winking at me and swatting me on the ass as he walks by.
“It’s still weird,” Caleb mutters, making Reid and I laugh. “I’ll come with you though. I’d like to meet your roommates, too.”
; “I thought you wanted to meet Ruby?” I say, wondering why he’s bailing so quickly now.
“Yeah, I do, but she’s trying to make her way home. Who knows how long that will be since she’s drunk? Remember that time Reid said he was coming over after drinking that bottle of wine he stole from his parents’ wine rack? It took him almost an hour to find our house and we lived down the street from each other.”
“Good point,” I say and Reid chimes in with, “I’ve told you two, I came right to your house. It did not take an hour.”
“Dude, it took an hour. I’m pretty sure you were passed out in the Wilson’s front yard,” Caleb asserts.
“That would explain why Mrs. Wilson hated me so much,” Reid jokes, shrugging his shoulders and laughing.
“It would also explain why you had woodchips in your hair,” I add just for effect and with that he and Caleb leave to walk down to his house.
It’s weird to be alone even if I used to be alone here all the time. Between Ruby and I having classes at different times, we’d often find ourselves with time alone to study or whatever. But since returning to Providence, I haven’t been alone in weeks with either Caleb or Reid always with me.
But it’s short lived when the front door suddenly swings open and Ruby comes flying in like a damn tornado.
“Sienna!” she wails, throwing her arms around my neck. “I missed you so much! Do you have any idea how creepy it is sleeping here alone?”
“I’m sure it was and I’m so happy I’m back. I missed you too.” I can’t stop smiling, my cheeks beginning to hurt as my heart races and my hands tingle with excitement. I squeeze her tighter, never wanting to let go, but I pull back and look at her.
Ruby’s big brown eyes are sparkling, her voice light and bubbly and I can’t tell if it’s her drunkenness or her happiness over me being back, but whatever it is, I’ll take it.
“You look so good,” I croon, taking in a deep breath. “I seriously missed you like crazy.” I pull her back in for another hug, clinging to her. We’re both laughing and I can feel the tears pool in my eyes, but this time they’re finally tears of joy.
