Scowling, Max shoved those recollections aside brutally, telling himself that he’d burned those particular bridges long ago and there was no longer any use in regretting his actions. He was simply going to have to - as Finn would have so eloquently put it - “suck it up” and deal with the situation. After all, he assured himself, this assignment was almost too easy for someone of Max’s abilities, almost too cut and dry to even warrant calling in a consultant. Not, of course, that he faulted Jacob for taking every precaution with his young, still growing company, or for wanting to be one hundred percent certain that all systems were a go for expanding at this point. From Max’s perspective, though, there really wasn’t much of a decision to make, and he knew that this assignment would likely take even less time to complete than he had originally planned.
Which meant than much sooner than later he was going to have to not only speak to Jill face to face but spend at least a few hours reviewing Celex’s finances with her. And since Max had trained himself over the years to never avoid a confrontation, or procrastinate about unpleasant tasks, he surged to his feet resolutely, then strode briskly out of the small but well appointed office space he’d been provided with. During the brief tour Jacob had taken him on after the meeting earlier today, Max had made a careful mental note about where each member of the management team he would need to meet with was located. Jill’s office, which was even smaller than his own temporary one, was a mere three doors down from where he sat, far too close for his preference, not to mention his peace of mind. Knowing that she was this close to him was going to drive him half mad over the next couple of weeks, even more so because he knew that above all else he would have to keep things as impersonal and professional between them as possible - when all he had longed to do from the second he’d set eyes on her again was drag her into his arms, kiss her senseless, and beg her forgiveness for having acted so abominably four year ago.
He hovered in the doorway of her office for a few moments, mostly because Jill was intently focused on her computer screen, occasionally entering some sort of data or figures on her keyboard. Max savored this rare opportunity to observe her unawares, drinking in the sight of her lovely, animated features like a man near to dying of thirst. Four years hadn’t changed her much, he mused, and she didn’t look a whole lot older than the twenty-two year old college student he’d met back then. Her luxurious mane of wavy golden brown hair was a little shorter, but still had a life of its own, the thick strands rebelling at having been pulled back into a rather messy braid. It had been loose earlier in the day, he recalled, and he guessed that she’d hastily clubbed it into an untidy braid. A lock of that silky hair fell over her eyebrow, until Jill impatiently tucked it behind her ear. She’d taken to wearing a bit of makeup, especially around her luminous pale green eyes, though the nude lip gloss he had noticed on her lushly full mouth earlier was more or less gone now, likely because she still had the endearing habit of biting her lip when she was concentrating on something. Her soft honey-toned complexion was as flawless as he remembered, with nary a freckle to mar its perfection, and he longed to rub his own cheek against hers as he’d been so fond of doing during their time together.
She was as slim and graceful as ever, though perhaps a bit too thin for his preference. Knowing Jill and how enthusiastic and eager she could be, he could only surmise that she threw herself into this job wholeheartedly, likely working twelve or fourteen hours a day, and getting so engrossed in her work she often forgot to eat. And while most of her colleagues seemed to favor jeans and shirts, with the exception of the rather icy-looking company attorney, Jill was wearing a charcoal gray sweater dress and chic black ankle boots. The dress flattered her trim figure - pert, firm breasts, narrow waist, slim hips, and those long, shapely legs - while the little boots were sexy as hell. He recalled that she had preferred wearing little dresses or skirts instead of jeans or trousers, even during the cold, rainy winters in Seattle. When he had questioned her about her choice of attire, she’d grinned and replied, “You can take the girl out of the South but you can’t take the Southerner out of the girl. I keep thinking that if I dress like I used to during all those hot, humid summers maybe I won’t feel so cold all the time!”
Her South Carolina drawl had both intrigued and aroused him, while she had whispered that his own British accent could practically make her swoon. He shuddered in reaction now as he thought of all the different ways he had managed to make her swoon, how responsive she had been, how passionate and honest and…
“Are you going to stand there staring at me like some sort of creepy stalker or did you have something to say?” demanded that honeyed voice that still bore definite traces of the Southern drawl he’d adored so much.
A faint smile crossed his features as he walked cautiously inside her office. “I assure you, I didn’t intend to act like a stalker. You seemed wrapped up in whatever you were doing and I was merely trying to be polite.”
Jill gave a rather unladylike little snort. “Of course you were,” she retorted. “When have you ever not acted the part of the polite gentleman? Oh, wait, I can think of a time, actually. It was when you acted like a coldhearted bastard instead, walking away from me without a backward glance. Or any sort of reasonable explanation, for that matter.”
Max resisted the urge to fidget uncomfortably at her scathing rebuke. “You’re quite right,” he acknowledged instead. “I did act like the very worst sort of bastard towards you. But while you might not believe me, Jill, I had good reasons for what I did. You were - ”
She held up a hand to forestall him. “Too young and naïve and inexperienced. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I remember all of the malarkey you tried to fob me off with, Max, but I never believed any of it. And when I tried to ask you the real reasons why you were so convinced it wouldn’t work out between us, you went ahead and blocked my phone number and email address. So, answer me this Max - after ending things between us so badly four years ago, how in the world do you have the nerve to show up here now?”
He winced as she flung the cruel things he had done back in his face, wondering to himself how he could have been so coldhearted towards the one woman in the whole world who meant something to him. “I didn’t know you worked here, Jill,” he replied quietly. “Normally, I would have done my due diligence and had the usual background checks done on all of the major players. Frankly, this job seemed like such a simple, straightforward assignment that I suppose I didn’t bother doing my normal research. If I had known, however, I would have either backed out of the job or sent one of my assistants to handle it. It was just as much of a shock to me as it was to you, Jill, and I apologize for that.”
Jill shrugged, trying in vain to looked unconcerned, but as usual her vivid features were an open book and it was rather obvious that she was furious with him. “No big deal. After all, this is just temporary, right? You’ll be in and out of here in no time, and we can go back to pretending the other person doesn’t exist. Just like we’ve been doing for the past four years.”
Max didn’t wait for a formal invitation to take a seat in one of the guest chairs arranged in front of her desk. “You’ve done well for yourself during that time, Jill,” he acknowledged, the admiration in his voice apparent. “One of the youngest CFO’s in the world, no doubt, especially among females. Though I always knew you’d be successful, given how brilliant you were. Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” she murmured with icy politeness. “Now, was there something specific you wanted to discuss with me? About Celex’s finances, that is.”
Max bypassed her question, however, with one of his own. “How long have you been in San Francisco?” he inquired. “I imagined you were still living in Seattle, given the various job offers you expected to come your way after getting your degree.”
“I’ve lived here almost two years now,” she replied tersely. “And while I did land a good job in Seattle, the position here at Celex was a great one, enough to lure me to a place I
’d sworn to never visit. So if you think I moved here because I hoped to see you again, Max, think again. In fact, I’ve gone to great pains to avoid you. I know where your offices are, and I make sure to stay far away from that part of town. And while you never did tell me where you lived, I’m just guessing it’s someplace a lot swankier than the Outer Sunset where my apartment is.”
“I didn’t mean to imply that you moved here for the purpose of stalking me, Jill,” he assured her. “After all, if you’ve lived here almost two years and this is the first time we’ve run into each other, then it’s rather obvious you’ve gone out of your way to avoid me. And I live near Nob Hill. On a very quiet little side street. In a house, not a condo or apartment, because I wanted a place that felt like a home, and not something that reminded me of all the hotel rooms I’ve spent so much time in over the years. And I never meant to withhold that information from you, Jill. In fact, I’m happy to give you the address right now.”
She shook her head emphatically. “I’ve got zero need, not to mention zero interest, in that information, Max. So you can continue to keep all of your closely guarded secrets. I no longer have any interest in trying to figure you out. Now, how may I be of assistance to you, Mr. Wainwright? Did you have a specific question about a financial statement? Or perhaps our projected budget for the coming fiscal year? Though if it’s our tax returns you wanted to review, you’d probably be better off discussing those with our chief accountant since that’s a little out of my area of expertise.”
Max swore softly beneath his breath, realizing that there was no way in hell she was going to make this easy for him. And while he didn’t blame her in the least, he also wasn’t looking forward to being at odds with her.
“Look, Jill,” he began rather hesitantly. “Like it or not, we are going to have to spend some time working together over the next week or so. And I thought that before we started down that road perhaps we ought to clear the air between us. Do you agree?”
Jill regarded him warily. “How do you propose we do that exactly?”
He ignored the way his pulse began to beat a little faster as he noticed another errant lock of hair escape her hopelessly messy braid and fall to her shoulder this time. “Would you be willing to meet me for a drink after work?” he asked politely. “Or we could do lunch, of course, but I thought that might not be especially discreet.”
She nodded rather reluctantly. “I agree. My co-workers seem to notice everything, and it’s like a regular beehive around here at times the way everyone likes to know everyone else’s business. As for the drink - I suppose you’re right. If we’re going to be stuck working together, even for a week or two, we should clear the air a bit, as well as set some ground rules.”
Max arched a brow. “Oh? Like what, for instance?”
Jill glared at him, her pale green eyes once again shooting sparks. “Like we forget we knew each other four years ago in Seattle. And that you don’t start getting any - well, ideas, that I’d be up for a repeat performance. Because I’m not that naïve little girl from South Carolina any longer, Max. The one who thought you were the most wonderful man in the world. You sort of ruined that image when you walked out the door of your hotel suite without so much as a “have a nice life, Jill”. I’ve grown up a lot since that day, Max, and I’m never going to let you or any other man have the opportunity to break my heart again.”
“I understand,” he murmured solemnly. “And is there, Jill? Another man, that is.”
She paused for a moment or two before giving a slight lift of her shoulders. “I’m dating someone, yes. We’ve been seeing each other for over a year.”
“So it’s serious, then?” inquired Max, wishing with all her heart that her next words would be a denial.
“I have no intention of discussing my personal life with you, Max,” retorted Jill primly, her Southern drawl suddenly more pronounced. “And I don’t even have to ask if you’re involved with anyone. Because I realized years ago that the only person you’ve ever truly cared about is yourself. Now, I have a mountain of work to finish up today so just tell me where and when we should meet.”
They agreed on a time and place - six o’clock at a small, out of the way wine bar about a half mile away. Jill seemed fairly confident that it wasn’t the sort of place her co-workers tended to frequent, and that they’d be able to speak privately there.
But given the cool, dismissive glance she gave him as he stood to leave, Max had the sinking feeling that any sort of apology or explanation he might offer up this evening was going to be met with deaf ears.
Chapter Six
Jill waged an ongoing debate with herself every step of the way along her short walk to the wine bar where she’d rather unwisely agreed to meet Max. It would really serve him right, she thought spitefully, to stand him up, given the way he’d ended things between them in Seattle. He had acted like a coldhearted, unfeeling jackass, and had hurt her so badly with his callous behavior that it had taken years for her to recover from the betrayal. Seeing him again today after more than four years, however, was starting to make her wonder just how far her so-called recovery had actually progressed.
‘No!’ she told herself resolutely. ‘Don’t even start thinking that way, Jill Parrish! You are over him, you know you are. Before he just waltzed inside that conference room today like he owned the place - so typical for someone as arrogant and entitled as Max Wainwright! - you hadn’t thought about him in, well, at least a month. Well, maybe more like two weeks, but that last time wasn’t a good thought. And that should count for something, right? Oooh, why the hell - I mean, heck - did Jacob have to hire a consultant anyway?’
Even though she hadn’t lived under her super-strict, devout Christian grandmother’s roof for a full seven years, Jill still felt a little bit guilty every time she used a curse word, even if it was just in her head and not out loud. Betty Parrish hadn’t tolerated any sort of profanity in her house, just like she hadn’t stood for even the slightest bit of defiance, disobedience, or disagreement from her granddaughter. Jill had grown up under the stern, watchful eye of the old woman, whose main purpose in life had been to make sure that her granddaughter didn’t turn out to be the same sort of wild, wayward child her daughter - Jill’s mother Abby - had been.
As she waited for the traffic light to change before crossing the street, Jill sighed heavily, wondering why she was dredging up all of that old emotional baggage at a time like this, but also knowing the answer even before she asked the question. It was seeing Max again after all this time, when she had never expected to see him again, even though they lived in the same city. What she had told him earlier was God’s honest truth - she had in fact gone to great pains to avoid running into him after moving to San Francisco. And making the decision to move here, where she knew he lived and where she would have to be very, very careful to avoid him, hadn’t been an easy choice for her. But Jacob had been awfully persistent when he’d recruited her, offering all sorts of perks besides the staggeringly high salary, terrific health benefits, 401K plan, and stock options.
Celex had also given her an impressive signing bonus, paid for her relocation expenses, set her up with a rental agent who’d found her an affordable apartment, and thrown in a year’s paid membership at the top rated gym in the city. And that was on top of the job itself, where she’d had the opportunity to rise to the very top echelon of management, something that would have taken her years to achieve anywhere else.
Granted, she’d just about worked her ass - er, tail - off for the past two years, and had been too exhausted that first year to make much use of the gym membership. But now that the company was on the verge of expanding, Jill knew that meant hiring more staff, and that she would have as many as five additional employees working for her and helping to share the often staggering workload.
She was proud of all that she had achieved at such a young age, especially since the most she could have hoped for career-wise at one point i
n her life was a profoundly unsatisfying job as a high school math teacher, or perhaps an assistant manager at the local bank. Living with her grandmother, and being forced to adhere to the old woman’s old-fashioned, impossibly unreasonable standards, had filled Jill with despair at times. During her high school years in particular she had longed to rebel, to demand the same sort of freedom and privileges that other girls her age received without a second thought. But Betty Parrish had been a veritable master at making her granddaughter feel guilty, and more often than not Jill had meekly bowed beneath her grandmother’s iron will, not wanting to disappoint or upset the only family member she had left.
‘Okay, enough!’ she admonished herself as she stopped outside of the sleek, sophisticated wine bar where she was due to meet Max. ‘It’s bad enough that you’re going to have to re-hash your ill-fated relationship with him in just a few minutes. You don’t need to relive your less than happy childhood, too!’
But Jill continued to hover just outside of the entrance to the wine bar for a minute or so longer, sensing somehow - with that weird little sixth sense she possessed at times - that walking inside to meet her former lover would turn out to be the third major momentous event of her life. The second such event, of course, had been the day she’d first met Max in Seattle, while the very first of the events had occurred seven years ago almost to the day - the day her grandmother had died.
***
Seven years earlier – Midland, South Carolina
“How’s your granny doing, Jill? Thought for sure we’d see her at services today. Guess she’s still feeling poorly, hmm?”
The One Real Regret Page 7
