by Debra Kayn
She shook her head. “But, I — ”
Christine walked away without giving her a chance to tell her that she had nothing to do with Grayson. She sighed. Why tell me, when she could’ve called Stephanie?
The live band played and couples slowly started moving in front of the stage off to the left. Shauna sipped the drink, and wiggled her nose as the bubbles rose. She looked around for familiar faces. When she spotted Stephanie, her shoulders drooped. Dammit.
Stephanie was wearing a white mini strapless dress on her Barbie body, her head thrown back in laughter, and her arm swung wide, balancing a cocktail glass with a skill that impressed the handful of men circled around her. Shauna raised her glass and chugged the rest of the contents. Grayson’s girlfriend of the week was everything Shauna wasn’t: graceful, athletic, tall, and experienced. “At least my boobs are real.”
John choked and wiped his hand across his mouth. “Excuse me?”
She groaned and curled her lip. “Did I say that out loud?”
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “I’ll chalk that little piece of information away, and keep it private … don’t worry.”
“I almost wish I could blame my loose tongue on the glass of champagne, but since this isn’t the first time I’ve spoken my thoughts for other people to hear, I’ll just pretend I didn’t say anything.” She studied John who continued to laugh, and slapped his arm, giggling. “It’s not that funny.”
“Oh yeah, it kinda is.” He pulled her in front of him and wrapped his arms around her, holding her back to his chest. “That wasn’t a question I had, but it’s still nice to know you’re one hundred percent real.”
“Stop teasing me.” She smiled. “What am I going to do with you, John?”
“Since you’ve broached the subject, I’m sure I can think of something.” He leaned down and whispered, “I really like you, Shauna. I hope we can go out again.”
“You know … ” She leaned her head back against him. “Now that I’ve let my deep, dark, secret out of the bag, I might always believe you only want to date me for my boobs.”
He kissed the side of her neck. “I plead the fifth.”
She patted his hands clasped in front of her. “I knew you were a smart man.”
Several minutes passed, and Shauna relaxed within John’s embrace, swaying to the music. It surprised her how much she was enjoying his company. She was secretly glad he wanted to see her again. A distraction was exactly what she needed.
“To tell you the truth, I was always afraid of asking you out before you left town.” He rubbed her arm. “I thought you had your heart set on Grayson. I’m not the only one who stayed away because of your solid stance with him.”
She sighed. “It was a childhood crush, that’s all. One day, I hope everyone will forget about my relentless pursuit of Grayson Schyler.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” John squeezed her tight. “Besides, I’m afraid Grayson is a bachelor for life. He enjoys the fast track too much, and I don’t picture you as a woman who’d settle for anything less than a committed relationship.”
Shauna somehow managed to hide her reaction to John’s belief. Too choked with emotion from her little white lie to acknowledge his statement, she stared across the yard. John was nice, but could he ever compare to Grayson?
“Speaking of Grayson … ” John muttered.
Shauna lifted her gaze and met the cold, unfeeling stare of Grayson. He stood twenty feet away with his arm around a woman she didn’t recognize. She broke away from his intent gaze to check out his gorgeous date in the black and white gown that put Shauna’s dress to shame.
The woman wore self-confidence while pressing herself against Grayson’s side in a way that screamed of their intimate relationship. Shauna clamped her teeth together. No amount of time or training would give her that amount of sexy.
Her attention went back to Grayson. His white shirt emphasized his dark tan and the natural gold highlights in his hair. Her stomach warmed. She’d never seen him dressed with such sophistication and poise in person. Usually he ran around in shorts and a T-shirt, and while she liked him in both, the eveningwear eluded to masculine competence that left her lightheaded.
Before she could mask her displeasure at finding the cozy couple here at the party, Grayson and his date headed her way. If that wasn’t bad enough, John let go of her. The loss of his body heat gave her goose bumps, or maybe it was the fact that Grayson appeared upset with her for no apparent reason, she had no time to figure out her reaction because they were suddenly standing in front of her.
“Chantel.” John kissed Grayson’s date’s cheeks and held the woman at arm’s length. “You look wonderful. When did you get back in town?”
Shauna cringed. Great. I can’t even keep my date by my side.
Chapter Seven
“Chantel, I’d like you to meet my date, Shauna Marino.” John stepped back and smiled at Shauna. “Chantel is Tom’s sister. He was one of my old frat brothers, and an all-around great guy. Chantel used to come up on weekends and visit her brother at the college, that’s how I met her. She models in New York now.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Shauna said.
Chantel’s perfect, over-white teeth gleamed. “It’s a delight to meet you too.”
Shauna caught Grayson watching her through narrowed eyes. She smiled, letting him know she wasn’t going to do anything to embarrass him. Oh sure, she wanted to ask if Chantel was his first date of the night, or if he paid her to come with him, but she wouldn’t. She was going to remain polite and aloof if it killed her.
“I love this song.” Chantel tugged on Grayson’s hand. “Let’s dance.”
He shook his head. “I never dance.”
Chantel’s lower lip came out, but Grayson shook his head. “John, why don’t you take Chantel out to the dance floor? I’m sure you guys would like to catch up on old times.”
John looked to Shauna, and she nodded. “Go on. I’ll be fine.”
Grayson watched his date swish off and then turned to Shauna. “What are you doing here with John? I gave you one ticket.” Grayson gazed out on the lawn where the others were dancing. “He’s not the kind of man you need. You’re high maintenance. You’ll have him cowering and running for the hills before the night’s over.”
“You don’t own me,” she whispered. “I’m free to date whoever I want. I want John.”
He scoffed. “Until you lose interest.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He’ll bore you,” Grayson said with a shrug, “and then you’ll be back to your old self.”
Shauna studied him, and ended up shaking her head. “I’ve changed.”
“No. You haven’t.”
Chantel returned to Grayson’s side and draped herself on his arm. “Darling? What’s put that frown on your face? This is a party. You’re supposed to enjoy yourself.”
He smiled and kissed her lips. “I am. How could I not with the most beautiful date here.”
Seconds ticked by, and Shauna smiled. “Have a good evening, Grayson … Chantel.”
Shauna stepped away from him and walked over to the fountain. She held her glass under the stream of champagne and stared across the lawn. How could he flaunt Chantel in front of her? Why did he have to be so stubborn? He wouldn’t even take time to get to know her again. They’d had something wonderful at one time. A friendship.
John slid his arm around her waist. “Would you like to dance?”
Would she? She blinked away the moisture in her vision and nodded. If she had to stand here and watch Grayson fawn all over his date, she was going to lose it in front of everyone.
She went into his arms and he pulled her closer, grinning. “This is nice.”
“Yes.” She laid her cheek on his chest and sighed, thankful for the slow dance. The hell with Grayson. She swore not to look at him again for the rest of the night.
“Are you having a good time?” John smoothed the hair down her back, li
ngering on her bare skin.
She nodded. “It’s lovely. Everyone is so beautiful, and the night is perfect.”
John swung her around, and then settled into the music. “I have to admit that when I saw Grayson, I thought you might regret coming here with me.”
She pulled back and gazed up into his face. He wasn’t smiling, and he appeared concerned. She inhaled a deep breath. Under normal circumstances, she would have become defensive. Everyone seemed to take a personal delight in teasing her about Grayson, but John was serious.
“Those feelings I had for him are long gone,” she said quietly, her eyes downcast. They weren’t, but her pride prevented her from telling the truth.
“I’m glad.” He held her tighter. “I had a couple people warn me that I was setting myself up for failure by going out with you. I didn’t want to believe the rumors that I didn’t stand a chance.”
“What have you heard about me?” She bit down on the inside of her cheek.
He shrugged. “Just tidbits about how you were infatuated with Grayson, and would plan to run into him wherever he went into town, hanging out at places he’d frequent, and flirting with him. A childish crush, I’m sure.”
“That’s all it was.” She shook her head. “Grayson never reciprocated my feelings. Looking back, I wish I’d realized how much I bothered him, because in the end I only made myself look silly. I’m surprised anyone can see me for who I am today.”
He kissed her forehead. “I don’t know. I think I might like you chasing after me. What man wouldn’t?”
She stood on her tiptoes, stroked his face, before giving him a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. “Thank you.”
She could suddenly understand Grayson’s attitude toward her. How could she have let things go so far without realizing the embarrassment she’d put him through? She’d teased and flirted, hoping to make him notice her, and all she’d accomplished was making a joke of herself.
To make matters worse, she had to deal with everyone reminding her daily of what a fool she’d been. It was humiliating to have him publicly deny her. She fought tears. The way he avoided her and always had something to say to make her feel little and immature spoke more than him coming out and speaking the truth. She clung to John and despite his company, she still came away feeling empty inside. Oh sure, she’d put on a happy face, enjoy the rest of the night, but her heart hurt.
When the crowd dispersed and everyone had headed inside, she slipped her hand into John’s and followed him to the house. She handed out polite smiles to those she passed, but she couldn’t shake off the feeling that her guilt followed her around in a big, black plume of smoke. She glanced behind her, and Grayson’s gaze pierced her soul.
She wanted to go to him, explain again how sorry she was, but it was too late. All this time, she’d hoped he’d someday change his mind. But his expression said it all. He tolerated her, but inside he didn’t feel the same.
“Shauna!” Kate reached for her and pulled her out of the crowd to the side of the room. “I caught sight of you dancing, but I didn’t want to interrupt. I love your new dress. You look absolutely gorgeous.”
She hugged Kate. “I am so glad to see you.”
Kate held Shauna’s arms and frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing important. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” She glanced at John and smiled. “What do you two think my chance of winning the bid for the gorgeous diamond bracelet is?”
Kate snorted. “Considering it’s under lock and key, and there’s probably two security guards manning each door out of the house … none.”
She snapped her fingers. “Shoot.”
John laughed. “Maybe there’s something more in our price range.”
“I did see a gift certificate to the country club.” Shauna grinned. “I’ll pool my money with yours, if you want to try. It’d make a fun date in the future.”
“Deal.” John motioned behind him. “We better go get our seats before the action starts. Do you want to sit with us, Kate?”
“Sorry, I can’t. I need to help Jackson behind the scenes. His parents have him talking business with a few of his father’s business partners. You two go win.” Kate leaned over to Shauna and whispered, “Another date? You go, girl.”
Fifteen minutes into the silent auction, and Shauna couldn’t keep up with who won what item. The men in the group ignored the silent bidding part of the rules, and egged each other on all across the room. The laughter and teasing brought out the most generous wallets, and the high priced items were quickly gone.
“Here comes the one we want.” John slipped his arm behind her. “Get ready.”
She pressed the paper flag she held in her hand onto his chest. “I can’t do this. You do it.”
He laughed. “Nope. You’re going to win us our next date.”
“Oh God … ” She clutched the flat wooden handle tightly. “I’ve never done this before. I can’t even understand the auctioneer when he’s throwing out the price.”
“There’s nothing to it. When I squeeze your shoulder, lift your arm high in the air.” He leaned back and crossed his legs. “You’ve got to be fast.”
The announcement of the beginning of the bidding came and the room quieted. Shauna scooted to the edge of her chair, practically jumping up every time John gave her the signal. She forgot about the others, and put her hand on John’s knee. They were in this together and it didn’t matter if they won or lost, she was having a blast.
The bell rang, signaling the end of the bidding, and she collapsed back in her chair, laying her head on John’s shoulder, laughing. “That was so much fun. It almost makes me wish we’d won, so we could celebrate.”
“What are you talking about? You did win.” John laughed and pulled her up from the chair. “We’ve got a prize to go collect.”
Her jaw dropped, and she forced herself to recover. “What? We won? Are you sure?”
He gathered her up in his arms and hugged her. “Damn right. We’ve got ourselves another date and I can’t wait to have you all to myself next time.”
She smiled. A date. With John. Suddenly, she was looking forward to another night with him.
It wasn’t until later, when they’d gone outside, that Shauna let her excitement over winning show. The beautiful evening and high spirits had her twirling around in a circle on the grass in her bare feet, shoes in one hand, the certificate in her other hand. She laughed as the cool night air washed over her. If this was the way the rich entertained themselves, then maybe she’d start playing the lottery.
“You enjoy winning.” John leaned against the side of the house and watched her.
She held out her arms and danced. “Yes. It’s the best thing ever. I’ll remember everything about this night.”
John pushed himself away from the wall, cupped her face, and gently kissed her lips. She froze, but before she could think about what he was doing, he told her to wait and he’d go round up the car. She stared out into the darkness where he’d disappeared, smiling. She could do a lot worse than John Bigstraum. He’d done everything right tonight, and she was glad she’d come with him.
“You have no idea what you’re doing.” A familiar masculine voice came from behind her.
She whirled around. Grayson stood over at the corner of the patio, his coat thrown over his shoulder. With all the excitement bubbling inside of her, the shadows pushing in on her, Grayson’s presence was like a beacon in the night. She moved toward him, until she could see the stormy turmoil in his gaze.
“Grayson.” She reached out, but he flung his coat and grabbed her upper arms, stopping her. “W-what’s wrong?”
“I should be asking you that question.” His eyebrow arched. “What’s going on with you and Bigstraum? Are you throwing yourself at him too?”
She gasped. “Of course not. He asked me to come with him, and I’m happy I did.”
“That’s what you do, isn’t it? You drive a man insane until he has no other choice th
an to take you out.” He leaned in closer. “Tell me, are you going home with him? Are you going to strip out of that skimpy dress and offer your — ”
“Stop!” She broke away from him. “Nothing I do is ever going to please you. What I did before … it was a mistake.” She brushed the hair away from her face. “I know you don’t want me. You never have. I can’t compare to Stephanie … or Chantel.”
She whirled around but before she could escape, Grayson grabbed her wrist. “Don’t do it,” he growled. “John’s not the man for you.”
Her legs shook, and her stomach rolled. Standing up to Grayson empowered her, yet left her weak. Why would he care what she did? She’d never gotten angry with him before, and it seemed wrong. He was the love of her life. She stared into his eyes, waiting to learn why it mattered to him what happened between her and John.
“You have no say in what I do or don’t do,” she whispered. “If I want to sleep with John, I will.”
“Don’t do it, Shauna.”
She lifted her chin. “Why? You won’t let yourself have me, so you don’t think anyone else deserves me either. What about what I want? Don’t I deserve someone who’ll love me back?”
He refused to answer.
“Goodbye, Grayson,” she whispered.
She slipped away and left him standing alone, his gaze burning into her back. The result of what she’d done by standing up for herself left her shivering. She’d always known somehow that he was never going to take her seriously. She was going to have to rid Grayson from her heart.
Chapter Eight
“Go, go, go!” Shauna slapped the dashboard of Diana’s car and stared out the window at Grayson on the sidewalk.
He stood outside his car in front of the commerce building, his hands on his hips, glaring at Diana’s small, red Honda as they left the parking lot. She sagged against the seat and latched her seatbelt. After what had happened at the McMillian party, Shauna still wasn’t ready to talk to Grayson. She needed space. Of course, it didn’t help that he kept showing up at her office and she kept having to find ways to avoid him. That was where Diana and her handy getaway car came in.
