'No, perhaps not,' she said. 'But I must believe it has a purpose.'
I smiled grimly as I recalled Morjin's letter, and said, 'To torment us into hating the One so that we might become as angels?'
She smiled, too, as she shook her head. 'No, Val. But there is some-thing strange about suffering. It carves the soul, hollows it out - and in the end leaves room for it to hold more joy.'
'You say that?'
I stared at her blindfold, and I wondered what the hollows beneath it held inside their scoops of darkness?
'I do say that,' she told me. 'I have to make myself believe that there is still hope for all of us.'
'Have you been talking to Maram, then?'
She let go of my hand and brought out her scryer's sphere. Drops of rain broke against the white gelstei, and ran in streaks down the curves of the crystal.
'Have you seen these joys with which you hope we'll be blessed?' I asked her.
She smiled as she- shivered against the cold of the rain. And then she told me, 'Many believe that the kristei was forged to show visions of the future. But its true power is to create it.'
That was all she said to me, then. She stood up to make the short journey back to Lord Marsha's house. She left me sitting on my soggy log; she left me to wonder how a little ball of dear crystal - no less a man - could create anything good at all.
The next day the rain deepened, and I spent most of it in the barn, hunched beneath my cloak and brooding upon things to come, late in the afternoon, the peace of Lord Harsha's farm was broken when a rider dressed all in black came galloping up the road. I hurried out of the barn to see Kane emerge from the house and walk up to confer with this stranger. That he was no Valari I could tell immediately: he was rather short and thick, and his broad face and dense black beard reminded me of the Ikurians, But his eyes were bright blue, and his skin was fair, and I could not guess what land he called home. An air of danger and darkness surrounded him. I was sure that he was a master of the mysterious Black Brotherhood.
Kane, however, did not present this man to me - or to any of us. The tension in Kane's brutal body and flashing black eyes warned us away. The rider did not remain to partake of Lord Harsha's hospitality. As soon as he had finished his business, without a word of greeting to any us, he pulled his horse about and rode off again into the rain.
That evening, like a king issuing a summons, Kane insisted that I come inside the house to take dinner with everyone else. My curiosity overcame my moroseness. I sat at Lord Harsha's long table with my friends, and feasted on roasted pork, peas and potatoes. I forced myself to eat the apple pie and cheese that Behira served for desert. Then, when we were all full. Lord Harsha called us into his great room to sit by the fire. On the andirons were piled several logs throwing out flames and a comforting heat above the fire, many cups rested on the cracked oak of the mantle. Lord Harsha informed us that his wife, Sarai, had made them from good Meshian clay. He invited us to sit on the floor, which was covered with bearskins and cushions. His eye gleamed as he began filling the cups from a bottle of old brandy. Two cups, of course, would have been enough for him and Behira, but once his house had held many more: his three sons, killed in various battles, a daughter taken by a fever before her fifth birthday, and another daughter who had died with Sarai in childbirth. Lord Harsha's mother and aunt, too, were long gone, but he took pride in displaying on the walls the bright tapestries they had once woven from the wool of the sheep that he kept on his north pasture. He was a prideful man, and the toast that he proposed as we all raised our cups was both a proud and a poignant one: 'May our land always be blessed with sons as valorous as those who fought and fell at the Culhadosh Commons, and with daughters strong and wise enough in spirit to raise up true Valari warriors.'
He sighed and sipped his brandy as he patted Behira's hand. Then he looked across the bearskins at Maram and said, 'loj is gone and Valte is racing by. The months pass almost as quickly as the years. And still we're no nearer to setting a date for the wedding, are we?'
'Ah, no, sir, I have to say we're not,' Maram choked out. He nodded at Behira as he smiled his most sheepish smile. 'And now, with all that's happened. . . well, you see, I couldn't take vows with the whole world turned upside down.'
'There you're wrong, lad,' Lord Harsha said to him. 'There will be many marriages this season, as sad as it is. Too many widows will need husbands now, and too many widowers will need new wives.'
In his farmer's way, he spoke of life always engendering more life, of apple trees bearing fruit and new shoots of barley growing out of winter's dead fields. I couldn't blame him for wanting to bring more children into his land - and into his house.
'Then it wouldn't do to make Behira a widow so soon,' Maram told him. 'The wedding will have to wait until I return - if I do.'
He told everyone then that I was setting out for Argattha, and that he would follow me to the end.
At this, Lord Harsha fixed me with his bright eye and asked, 'Then you really do intend to go back to that evil place?'
'Yes,' I told him. 'I do.'
'My daughter and I accompanied you to Tria, but this is no journey for us.' He turned back to Maram and said, 'There are crops to be raised here, and a land to be healed. We'll be waiting for you when you do return.'
He might have added that there was a new king to be chosen and a kingdom to protect, but he would not speak of such things in front of me.
'Now that we've dispensed with that,' he said sadly, 'it's time that Lord Kane gave us the news he's been waiting to tell us.'
Kane peered out over the edge of his cup, gazing first at Estrella, who edged up close to my side, and then at me. Daj was to my right, and then Liljana, Maram and the others. We all sat in a circle, holding council as we had many times during the quest.
'There's news from Alonia,' Kane said. 'There's been war between Tarlan and the Aquantir, and Baron Monteer has declared Iviendenhall an independent domain. And Count Dario leads the Narmadas in fighting the Hastars and the Marshans for the throne.'
Atara, sitting between Maram and Master Juwain, faced the fire without a word, and I watched the light of its orange flames play across her impassive face.
'And I've learned the truth about Ravik Kirriland,' he said, looking at me. 'An innocent, you called him, Val. Ha! He was a Kallimun priest, as I suspected from the first. In the middle of the melee; he was to have plunged a poisoned needle into Atara's neck to murder her so that she could not give Noman away. So, your instincts were right. And so you did not slay an innocent man.'
I stared at the scar on my hand that my teeth had torn in my anguish over Ravik. I felt my heart beating with new life. Kane's words were like a magic incantation that lifted away a great stone crushing my chest.
'Are you sure?' I asked him. I did not want to know how his black knight had come by this knowledge, but I needed to be certain it was true.
'So, I am sure,' he told me. 'You were the innocent one.'
I smiled sadly as I shook my head. Other stones still pressed down upon me with the weight of worlds, and I would never be innocent again.
'So, Val, so.'
His eyes flashed with a knowing light, and I marveled that he could tell me so much with three simple words with a single, luminous look.
'This changes nothing,' I said to him. 'I'm still going to Argattha.'
'You're determined, eh? Well, I've also had news about that hellhole. Morjin has hung new gates, of iron and thicker by thrice, over the entranceways. Packs of dogs he has posted there. And squadrons of knights now patrol every approach to the black mountain.'
I looked at my scabbarded sword, which I had set down upon the bearskin beside me. I said, 'Morjin anticipates me. From the beginning, he has outthought me - and outfought me.'
'What if he has? He has great cunning and even greater power: Skakamen and whole armies at his command.' Kane paused to take a drink of brandy, then continued, 'So, we lost this battle, but we nearly killed
him in Argattha, didn't we? There will be other battles to come.'
'And that,' I said, 'is why I'm going back to Argattha.'
'That,' he said, 'is precisely why you mustn't. Morjin has seen into your mind, Val. Don't you think it's time you tried seeing into his?'
At this, Liljana shook her head with so much force that her gray hair whipped the side of Maram's face. And she said to me, 'Look into his mind? Don't you dare try! There's nothing there but snakes, hissing, rats disappearing down holes and dark, twisted things.'
The look of kindness that came into Kane's eyes then surprised me, as it did when he spoke to Liljana with a rare gentleness: 'You were warned against using your gelstei to enter Morjin's mind. And it nearly destroyed you, I know. But we're all warriors, eh? Val proposes to fight Morjin. So, the first rule of war is to know your enemy.'
He turned to me and said, 'Don't you think it's time you read his letter?'
'But how did you know he left me a letter?'
'I saw you put it inside your armor.'
'How do you know I haven't read it?'
'Have you?' he asked, staring at me.
I noticed Lord Harsha and Master Juwain, and everyone else, staring at me, too. And so I shrugged my shoulders and pulled Morjin's letter out of the pocket of my cloak. The memory of finding it in the Lightstone's place on the stand still scorched my mind. As before, with Morjin's first letter, in my parents' chambers, Master Juwain advised me not to open it. But at last I gathered in my courage, and used my knife to break the red seal. I slid out the square of paper inside, unfolded it, and began reading its neatly penned lines out loud:
My Dearest Valashu,
Forgive the brevity of this note, but I write in haste, and there is still much to be done in this little castle of yours. I'm sure you understand.
As I promised, I have taken back the cup you stole from me. If you can be true to the logic of the beliefs you profess, you will rejoice that this is so. You have sought to place the Lightstone in the hands of the Maitreya, and that you have done. You will have ascertained that you are not and could never be this Lord of Light If you had believed me when I advised you of this some time ago, you might have avoided the ugly events of the past month. The death of an innocent man is upon you, as is the defeat of your army and the destruction of all who sought refuge in your castle.
Your mother, you will want to know, died well. After my knights had finished with her, when it came time to put her on the wood, she told me that she would never give me the satisfaction of making her cry for mercy - or even cry out at all. In all my years, which have been many, I've seen few go beneath the nails in silence. Your mother, though, was true to her word. You Valari are strong, and the Elahads the strongest of all.
And you, dear Valashu, if you choose to live, will be a very volcano of strength. I predict that you will so choose. Hate will drive you deeper into life. I do not expect that you will come to thank me for this. Nor thank me for impelling you to find the fire to slay Lord Ravik and all the others that you will want to dispatch with a great, if fearsome, joy. You are who you are. And so I also predict that you will return to Argattha. I shall be waiting for you. Towards this end, I have taken leave to appropriate several of your garments, that my hounds might become acquainted with your scent. I will leave with this letter a piece of gold in repayment for them. After all, I am not a thief.
You will also have ascertained that I keep my promises. Do you remember what I wrote to you previously about the Maitreya's obligation to show the world the terrible truth of things? That truth, I'm afraid, in the event of your incredible presumption in claiming the Lightstone for yourself, has become even more terrible. You have tempted many to speak against me and to make treason against their lord. They shall all be crushed. So shall the evil that you have engendered. Think of this when you behold the forests of crosses that spring up from the soil of Mesh, Ishka, Taron and the other Valari kingdoms. That is, you may dwell upon the suffering you have brought the world, if you live long enough, which I suspect you will not. That is too bad. I would have liked for you to have sired children out of the beautiful Atara so that you might some day know the agony I endured after you murdered my beloved son, Meliadus. But sons and daughters you will have none.
You have scorned all my offers of peace, aid and recompense for the service you owe me. There will be no more. Your life is now forfeit. The million-weight of gold that I promised for the return of the Lightstone shall now be paid to anyone who brings me your head. Of course, I would rather mount the whole of you upon a cross in the hall that you defiled. We've much still to discuss, and I would like to thank you fate to face for inspiring me to visit this pretty land of yours. If only you'd allow me that opportunity, I shall be forever grateful.
Faithfully, Morjin, King of Sakai and Lord of Ea
After I had finished reading, I leaned over past Estrella and cast the letter into the fire. I watched the writhing orange flames devour it I listened to the hissing of the logs and to my own ragged breath. Then my senses died into a screaming light that threw out sparks like hot, hammered iron. In the deeps of my mind, I shouted the name of my tormenter with all the hate inside me: MORJIN!
When I could see again, when the sound of Atara weeping softly and the sight of Maram choking on his brandy broke upon my ears and eyes, I pressed my fists to the sides of my face and cried out: 'I ... am sorry! But sometimes, the fury, almost like a madness - there's no controlling it.'
Liljana, who was weeping, too, as she pulled Daj against her bosom, wiped her eyes and said to me: 'Well, you'd better learn to control it. Else you'll kill us all, if don't kill yourself first.'
Everyone in the circle except Kane was reeling from the terrible thing that had torn me open. But even as the black stone that he bore could] absorb the fire of the red gelstei, his blazing black eyes seemed to drink in all my hatred for Morjin.
'I'm sorry,' I said again. 'But that is another reason I must go to Argattha . . . alone.'
'No, Val,' Kane said to me, 'you mustn't go at all.'
'But you said yourself that I should try to see into his mind. I think I have. And more, I've felt what is in his heart. He fears me.'
His eyes flicked toward my sword as he said, 'I'm sure he does. You're a fearsome man, eh? But that won't stop him from capturing and crucifying you.'
'I'm not afraid of that,' I told him.
His dark eyes, and all the tension in his great body which had once been nailed to Skartaru's black rock, told me that I should be afraid of such torture.
Master Juwain rubbed at his ruined ear, and he sat studying me as he might a puzzle. And he said to me, 'The Red Dragon still lies to you. And why? So that hatred will continue to blind you.'
'There is no getting past that now, sir,' I said to him. 'I will hate him, always, no matter what he says or doesn't say.'
'But can't you see that is what he wants? He's woven a web for you, and invites you to your doom.'
'Everyone dies,' I said. 'And doom is upon us all.' I went on to say that with Morjin's recapture of the Lightstone, it would be only a matter of time before he summoned Angra Mainyu from Damoom and unleashed an unstoppable evil that would destroy the world.
'My killing Morjin,' I said, 'might be the slimmest of chances. But it is our only chance.'
'No, Val,' Master Juwain said to me. 'There is one other.' I looked into his gray eyes, waiting for him to say more 'Before the akashic stone was broken,' he told me, 'I learned this about the Maitreya: that he might possibly be able to wield the Lightstone from afar.'
'Go on,' I said, nodding my head to him.
'If we could find him, and bring him to one of the Brotherhood's sanctuaries, we might forestall the Dragon from using the Lightstone.'
'That... does not seem possible.'
'It must be possible. We know the Maitreya has been born, somewhere on Ea. I was wrong, so terribly wrong, to convince us both that he must be you. But it would be even more wrong, now, if
we didn't try to seek out this man.'
I looked around the circle at the faces of my friends. I knew that none of them, not even Kane, favored a mission to murder Morjin.
'I'm sorry,' I said to them, 'but I've lost faith in this Shining One. And so I still must go to Argattha.'
'Then,' Master Juwain told me with a sigh, 'if that is what you truly decide, I will go with you.'
'And I, as well,' Liljana said. 'As it was before your chances will be greater with all of us behind you.'
Maram, I saw, was sweating now, even though he sat farthest from the fire But his jaw was set with resolve and he fought to keep the terror from his eyes. He reassured me that he would stand by my side Atara told me much the same thing. And Kane's lips pulled back into a savage smile and he said, 'So, Val, so.'
Then Daj, upon exchanging looks with Estrella, traced his finger along the swan-carved hilt of my sword; And he told me, 'We're coming with you, too.'
'Who is?' I asked him in astonishment.
'Estrella and I.'
'No, you can't - you're both too young.'
Daj regarded me with his sad, dark eyes, which had seen sights that would have wilted most grown men. 'We're not too young for Lord Morjin to kill, are we? No one is. We were supposed to be safe in the castle. But no place is safe now - you said so yourself.'
Estrella's face fairly danced with lively expressions as Daj nodded his head. Then he said to me, 'I know the tunnels on Argattha's lower levels, and Estrella might be able to find another entrance that Lord Morjin doesn't know about. It's our only chance, Val.'
I slowly shook my head, marveling at the courage of this boy.
Then Estrella smiled at me, and I could not bear the brightness of it. Her trust in me was like a lump of pain in my throat that all my swallowing could not dislodge. She pressed into my side, and grabbed my arm as if she would never let go.
And Daj said to me, 'We both feel safest with you.'
I wiped my stinging eyes; it felt as if hot cinders from the fire had gotten into them.
Lord of Lies Page 67
