by Matt Crawley
Chapter 5
Slightly dazed from the time, Charlie and Vicky walked briskly through the hospital doors. "We're here to see Gary Edwards." Charlie said to the reception. A doctor with a worried look led the way.
"It is good of you to come. He hasn't said a word since it happened, though in his sleep he mentioned both your names, so you must be very important to him. This way please."
Finally they reached a room where Gary lay in a bed, fitted with tubes and surrounded by monitors. He was almost unrecognisable. His body was purple and blackened with mass bruising, and was covered in bandages. A brace was fastened to his neck and the top half of his left ear was missing. A screen showed his heart rate, which was painfully slow, staying at around the low 40s.
"Oh my gosh, what happened?" Vicky whispered, tearfully.
The doctor cleared his throat. "He had a road accident. They are still trying to figure out what happened, but his car was found off the main road, upside down. No one else seems to have been involved, as far as we know so far. He has been unconscious like this since we found him. He needs plenty of rest."
Charlie could not take his eyes off his nephew. "How long until he's out of here?"
"It could be a few weeks. He's had a lot of stress, even shock. Multiple fractures and quite a bit of blood loss, which we are tending to. He needs to do as little as possible. We don't know when he will wake up, but we need to give him whatever time he needs." Vicky decided she would stay by his side, while Charlie left to see if he could somehow get in contact with Gary's parents, who were living in Canada. As he left the hospital, he burst into tears.
"It's all my fault, boy" he wept. "I should never have kept interfering with your life, buying you ways to kill yourself. I'm a horrible man Gary, I'm sorry."
Vicky slept in the armchair next to Gary's bed the whole night. She woke as the cosy sunlight seeped in through the blinds. She looked at the heart monitor. There was no change.
"Come on Gary. Come back to us. There's too many people who love you too much." She said. He showed no reaction.
That morning the Janus was referred from person to person, office to office, until it came to be with a police inspector and a mechanic, who hoped that examining the vehicle would reveal some clues on the nature of the accident. The car's body was scratched and dented, crumpled with ripples in places. The paintwork was completely discoloured. There were web-like cracks in the windshield. The left wing mirror was gone. Otherwise, the car itself was still in one piece. Alarmingly, the engine had no leaks or scrapes, and everything under the bonnet seemed fine. They tried to turn the engine on, but it was stubborn. Nothing would turn on. Then the mechanic brought out some jumper cables, and hooked them onto the battery. Sparks flew and the engine creaked to life.
Back at home, at that same minute, Charlie's phone rang. It was Vicky. "Hi Vicky, how's Gary doing?"
Her voice was delirious. "You need to come quickly. Gary's eyes have just opened. His heart's going crazy, come quick!" In a split second his heart monitor showed 90, 95, 100, and kept rising.
Space Dust
Taken from Modern Lives Magazine, 'The Godman & The Fall of an Empire' collector's issue.
The following are selected extracts from the diaries, journals and records of Stephanie (not actual name), a close acquaintance of 'the Godman', Samuel Remus. In response to the events surrounding Remus last year, Taylor has allowed us an exclusive insight into his life through her intimate perspective.
Note: The extracts have been selected by the editor's discretion. Names of people and places have been either changed or omitted. Any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors have been left uncorrected.
June 12th, Age 8 (satuday)
This is the dirry of Stephani Taylor. I am now doing a dirry bcos lots of good fings have hapened and I dont want to forget them like grandad alwaes forgets things. Today I met a boy called Sam. He has a big gap in his teeth and crazy hair that sticks up and wares glasses. He does not go to school. He gets school at home. Lucky. He lives in a big manshun with a o pear and a dog called tiger. My big brother Alfie took me there bcos he is working with sams dad. I told mum I was going to do dancing with people from scool. Haha. Sam has lots of things, lots of gajets and toys and computers. He plays on his tablet all the time. His kitchen has so many snacks and ice cream and he can get anything he wants wenever he wants. We played in his great big garden and then his o pear took us out to the park and the shops. He said he is bord on Satudays and does not know any kids only me. So I am going to visit him as much as I can. I had a rilly good day today, but a bit too much choclate, i feel sick ?
January 13th, Age 9
Today was Sams 10th birthday. They asked him what he wanted to do but he does not have many frends so he just wanted to go to London with me for the day. It has been snowing in the nite so everything is very wite and pretty. We went to a museum about dinasors. Then we saw a film at the cinema about bugs. Then we went to a museum place that had lots of masheens. It is called the romnus center. It has planes tanks guns and lots of robots. There was a video about a man who had lost his arms and legs in a war and got some robot arms and robot legs so now he can walk and hold things. It was cool but a bit strange. Sam said the museum was owned by his dad i think. He said his dad makes robots and guns but its a secret and im not allowed to tell anyone about it. Sam was telling me about how robots work but i did not understand what he was saying. He likes masheens and making things. He said he wants to build some friends. For his next birthday I think i will make him a robot out of crafts and paint it lots of cool colors.
March 2nd Age 9
Sam has made a robot hamster that moves around really fast on weels. He wants to make a robot cat next and make a robot zoo when he is older. He is so clever. I wish I could do things like that. I saw his dad for the 1st time today bcos he is always on work trips. Sams dad was really grumpy.
August 3rd Age 10
I like Sam very much. He is a friend but he is much more interesting than all my friends at school. He does not fight with me about stupid things like what music we like or what football team our famly supports. But he sometimes acts really strange and says things that are so weird. Today we were at the fancy cake shop in town. Loads of cakes in the window looked amazing, like lots of colours and sweet toppings. So I said what cake would you be if you could be a cake. I said the one with the crackly space dust on the top bcos that's my fave. But he said he would be the big plastic one that was hanging from the ceiling. I said why. He said because all the other cakes will go off and get mouldy, but the fake one will always be around. He did not want to be any of the normal cakes that will be eaten by people. I thort that was a weird thing to say. Also he showed me his robot cat. It just walks around his house making funny cat noises. He said hes going to put some pretend fur on top because now it looks all square and sharp. The way it moves kindof freaks me out.
January 17th Age 10
I met up with Sam today. He was wearing a hat and feeling sore. When I saw him he freaked me out. For his birthday he asked his dad for new hair and new teeth. He had just had a hair transplant (is that right?) so he now had hair that was straight and tidy instead of springy and messy. Its now black instead of brown. The gap in his teeth has now gone because he had surgery, and they are now all straighter. Other kids dont ask for stuff like that for birthdays. Mum didnt believe me when I told her about it. Sam said it makes him look and feel better.
June 3rd Age 10
Wow. Never guess what. Mum spoke to Sam's o pear on the phone. I have never seen his mum. Maybe shes away all the time like his dad. Then mum said to me that Sam was going to start normal school in September because his dad is worried that he is not very good at talking and playing with other kids. Ok but ...no way! Hes going to start at (......) school with me. He could be in my class. Wow that will be so strange.
September 6th Age 11
W.T.H. First week has been quite hard but today was really bad. Sam brought
a gun into school today. Not like a gun they use in the army with bullets but it was different. He said it came from his dads work. Someone picked it up and played with it and shot a massive hole in the wall. A kid got a massive burn all down there arm. The police came and then the army came and some kids got punished. Sam didnt. He just got taken away in a helicopter back home. How is that fair?
November 12th Age 11
I hate how Sam keeps getting bullied by kids at school. When I sit next to him in lessons he draws pictures of him beating up the bullies and sending his robots to kill them. I think he should just try to avoid them. Especially Jay. Hes the worst one. Mum says its because they are all jealous of how much rich Sams family are.
April 5th Age 11
Finally we're in (......) in Wales for the adventure holiday. Sat between Emily and Sam on the coach. Sam didnt talk much, was just on his tablet. He didnt know any of the songs on the radio when everyone else was singing. He brought a special toolkit which he got for his birthday (in case he wanted to build or fix anything). Me and Emily had doodling contests.
April 9th Age 11
Boys are so stupid. This morning Jay peed on Sams bed and then told everyone that Sam wets himself and everyone laughed. So before dinner Sam got into Jays bags and got his phone, his tablet, his music player and speakers, and fiddled with the wires inside of them so when Jay used them he got a bad electric shock. I haven't told anyone that Sam did it. Jay got what he deservd. Went absailing today and going up a mountain tomorrow.
June 1st Age 12
Year is nearly over. Cant wait for summer woooo! Uncle Bob and Auntie Carol are taking us to the Isle of Wight, wherever that is. I just want to finish school. Homework is so lame. My best friends in school are Emily, Rachel, Pooja, Joseph and Maxy. Sam is my friend still, but not like he was before secondary school. He keeps reading books about making machines and science. Hes got a few friends now which is good. Maybe hes turning a bit more normal.
June 2nd Age 12
After school I saw him giving his friends brand new tablets. What the hell! People are saying that hes giving gifts to kids so they can be friends with him. There not even denying it!
January 14th Age 14
Every year I wonder what Sam will ask for his birthday. This was by far the most insane. He's had more surgery to make him taller. He's like...another head taller. Tallest in the year. I think they did something to his legs and his spine or something. And hes got really big muscles. Not like a bodybuilder, hes just looking a bit bigger everywhere on his body. Now when the bullies see him they walk away. Its so funny! At lunchtime Harry was kicking in someones locker, and Sam came down the corridor and Jay really freaked out. And then he found out that he was actually smashing up Sams locker, so Jay said sorry and gave him the keys to his own locker. He was so red in the face.
February 21st (14)
I feel like crap. My friend Joseph is now hanging around Sam and asking him to be his bodyguard. He keeps following him around everywhere. Is Joseph really my friend or is he just looking out for himself? And now Emily is starting to stalk Sam as well, and she keeps talking about how she never has any money for clothes and jewellery. Hes not like a vending machine. Seriously, do I have anyone anymore? I hate school.
March 12th
I dont believe it. Emily and Joseph have both got some really fancy things. Sam is giving stuff to people for friendship? Ok Hes just walked in the room, Ill talk to him!.................................OK. He just said whats wrong with giving nice things to people you care about. You do that at Christmas and birthdays and I said yeah but those kids dont care about you. If you had the same amount of money as other people they would not be interested in you. And then he said is that why you always hung around me and i said no im the only one who ever cared about you. And he just kicked a table over and ran out. I dont know if he will be back for lessons. I dont know what to do.
July 8th (15)
Birthday yesterday. With school peeps had pizza then went out to the Soundhouse in town. Some cute guys there. Maxy got the phone number off one of them. One guy was such a knob, dancing like a loon cos he drank too much and he made Em spill her drink everywhere, then he was sick out the front door. But it was good fun. I got some Ebooks and some boots Ive always wanted. This morning I got a box wrapped up very well with a ribbon. It was a MASSIVE space dust cake, and it glowed in the dark. Amazing! There was a letter from Sam. He said he was sorry he went mental all that time ago and how he hasn't spoken to me since then and hes lucky to be my friend etc etc. Now he wants to hang outside school a bit more. I just want him to be ok and just to be not weird. I am happy tho! I texted him to say 'Your amazing! And not just because of cake! Hang out anytime xx' Sorry diary for not writing so much these days! Xoxo
August 1st (17)
Ok. First time Ive written in here in like a year but people are shouting downstairs and my head is all swirly. So much has happened-
One. Maxy says she got engaged to that guy Stuart and shes got a ring and everything. Theyve been together all this time so he cant be all that bad. But shes only just left school and hes like 10 years older than her.
Two. Finished school woohoo! And started college doing photography and graphic design. Course is good and the teachers are really clever but some of the other students are just so lazy and never come in! And they're quite rude and cliquey. Stinks of pot. I miss school.
Three. Alfie has now been promoted to some big design job working for Sams dad. Its all to do with that Romulus company thats been on the TV for ages advertising prosthetic limbs and computers and talking cars. He was proper excited and hes always moving between offices that are like opposite ends of the country. Why dont they make one giant office in one place? Anyhoo , its a lot of money and life changing and all that, Im happy for him. I videophone him every week.
Oh yeah, on the subject of Sam, I wasn't going to talk about him but actually thinking of Sam makes me a bit dizzy so I need to put it on here and out of my head:
One. So Sam left school at 16 and he's now working for Romulus, but he's got a high ranking position because its his dads company and hes like the heir. Seriously, that kid could buy his own tropical island. He works in a building in London and he's not allowed to tell me which one. He buys me dinner sometimes, in his suit and tie, which is actually pretty cool.
Two. But like everytime we meet up there is something different about him. He calls it 'upgrading', like when they improve machines. Hes been spending too long with robots! He did make an android dog, so lifelike, really cute. He made an android peacock a while back, that was a bit weird. Now he's working on building people. Seriously, he doesn't do anything that normal teenagers do, except eat a load of junk food. Anyway, getting sidetracked. He's now got something like a USB port in the side of his head, and he links a special computer to it and it teaches his brain things. In the winter, he learnt to speak fluent Mandarin in about a week, and he's learnt Spanish, all through that hole in his head. For international business apparently. He knows how to fly aircraft and military vehicles. He said its just for emergencies. Also his eyes have changed. He got them switched for special mechanical ones that have got like telescopic vision, he can see for miles, all in HD. He said its for when he's out with work people and they go out shooting things for sport. Its weird, its like when he looks at me he can see straight into my soul. His muscles have improved as well. All this upgrading is done by Romulus through a special team hired just for him. I cant get my head round it! Next time I see him he'll probably have an extra head so he can socialise with himself.
5th Oct (22)
Graduation ceremony was better than I thought it would be. Managed to get some extra tickets so all my brothers could come, even Alfie, which is impressive with his schedule. They had a gallery showing some of our best work, mine was at the front so am well chuffed. Some pretentious speech about having a vision and making our mark on the world was a bit dull - do they do that speech at every single gra
duation there's ever been? When I got to the buffet I got massive shock. Sam Remus was at the door dressed in some jeans and hoodie like someone from the 00s. He was trying to disguise himself, but only I can recognise his awkward shuffling when he's around crowds of people. He said he missed me, and that he didn't want to miss my ceremony for anything. He's quite stressed and needs a holiday. I'd go with him if he wanted. But then he got all shy. When I gave him a big hug he was so rigid, like a statue. I wonder if he ever sleeps. He looked like he wanted to cry, but his tear ducts were probably taken out when he got those new eyes. When he gets time we will videochat once a fortnight from now on.
10th Feb
Just had a videochat with Sam. Bit hard sometimes as he's always moving from the states to china to the middle east to London. His usual 'weird but kind of cute' self I guess. He gets excited about my work and he asks loads of questions which is fine by me, I love to chat dadadada. If I ask him anything he doesn't say much. Sometimes takes the webcam around his office and workshop. He's got a robot called Alfred that is basically like his butler (what a nerd ?). Soon people will be able to buy their own, he said. Alfred is just to help him and test if it all works. I don't get all the techie stuff, but it is really impressive. I tell him that and he gets all embarrassed. Guess he's not used to it in a sincere way. He sends me really nice things in the post, like that amazing camera that came last week. What can I send a guy who has everything?
29th August (24)
Man, all over the news. Steve Remus is dead. 59. Might have been heart failure they said. I can't stop thinking about Sam. I mean, his dad was a jerk to him but he was still his dad, right? What's he even feeling right now? Mum dies when he's learning to crawl, then dad goes when he's just a young guy. Now Sam's in charge of Romulus. Biggest technology company in the world. At 24. That's like controlling the whole world. Oh, and hes now in top 5 richest people. Unless he passes it to someone else. If hes not trying to impress his dad anymore, who is he working for? Maybe I'm just being cynical. This will probably be the news for the next few weeks, just what we need.
23rd Sept, 1pm
Didnt sleep much last night. Getting ready for bed when only Sam Remus knocks on my door about 10. Dressed in his old-school disguise. What could I do? He had just come from a conference in Paris to talk to me. He's so scatty, and talks really fast. Is he on drugs? Nails are all chewed to bits. He said there was no one else he wanted to see. I was in my PJs without any makeup and my hair in a towel, bit embarrassing! We spoke til about 3:30 in morning, about EVERYTHING. About how his dad had a serious nervous breakdown when Sam was a kid, and how the 2 of them barely know each other, and that he's undecided whether to run the business. He's had a few girlfriends but all of them lasted like a week each because he feels married to his work. And they were freaked out by the robots wandering around his house. I said he should have some time out and do all the things he ever wanted to do, do some soulsearching. He said maybe. He asked about my work, he was really interested and he has some contacts in media that he will email to me. Sweet! We went to sleep on my sofas about 4. Woke up about 11, he was gone! He made me some salmon and egg bagels and left a box of donuts. Healthy...
26th Sept
Right. Just watching news, Sam has just done some big announcement about taking over Romulus, how he wants to preserve his father's legacy and all that. What the hell is he doing? And now the company is going into the space tourism market, setting up bases on the moon and Mars. I'm so worried about Sam, bit angry I guess. If he sends me space tickets I might just send them back.
4th April
Just been away for few days at the Tide City with Drew. The weather was beautiful. If this is the Earth dying, I am quite happy with it so far! Drew is a nice guy. We have a lot in common which is such a relief, he's a massive photography and film buff. I keep teasing him about how white he is, its like he never goes outside. He keeps talking about how pointy my ears are. It's annoying! Only thing is, Drew keeps talking about the high prince of Romulus, how he hates that the Remus family have so much money and they love wasting it. "I would love to punch that prick in his perfect face if I ever saw him" he said. I just changed the subject. These days I can't tell people I actually know Sam. That we've been friends all our lives. People think I'm starstruck and just making it up, or if they believe me they try to get me to introduce them to him. Drew is such a hypocrite though. The Tide City was built by Romulus to bridge the gap between GB and the USA. And then he pays for us to go there for hols? Whatever.
10th June
Those robot butlers are appearing on all the motion posters. Nan said they're getting one for her friend's nursing home. I thought that sort of thing would freak her out.
2nd July
This is so mental. They've arrested a group of guys on suspicion of murdering Steve Remus. He was poisoned. They were planning it for months, apparently. Just some guys part of a crazy cult who think the Remus family are actually aliens trying to enslave the human race. They do seem a bit mental. But I don't know whether to believe it. When big stuff like this happens I swear it's always political. I mean Romulus has got the monopoly on most of the world's industry and there's rumours now that they want to replace all their workers with machines in a few years. I bet those guys have been paid to pretend. My dad agrees with me. Even Alfie agrees and he actually works for Romulus!
11th July (25)
It's days like these when Sam just makes my head spin. Just had a video chat with him about everything. He's always randomly telling me stuff he shouldn't even be telling me. Like he says he's known about the poisoning for months but they weren't sure whether to release information because of how the other companies would react. I asked if he was worried. Then he got me really mad. He showed me this armband thing under his sleeve, an electronic band full of liquid. He has to have it on all the time and put new drugs inside every few days. It's changing the structure of his blood and his cells so he can fight any disease and illness. I said he must be exaggerating. He said no, its top secret and really expensive. It will keep his bones strong, everything will be healthy. He won't get a cold, he won't get anything, not even cancer! I hung up on him. I thought you selfish ****. Knowing him, it's probably all true. Will we see that thing on the market for us normal people? Probably not. Will probably stay on a shelf in his house.
29th September (28)
Romulus has got their hands on construction, robotics, supercomputers, military, broadcasting, sea trains, prosthetics, what else? Space travel, energy, building desert cities, communications, all that. Sam (I thought I'd never think about him ever again) has appeared at some massive conference talking about the company going into pharmaceuticals. They want to cure the majority of diseases within the next 50 years. Sam are you some kind of guinea pig for your superdrugs to see if it works alright, or do you actually have the means to cure disease right now? And you're just stalling? For what? Money, duh. Dad said it's so the other drug companies can try to up their game, and not just go out of business. I can kind of see why Drew gets the way he does. He still doesn't know about me and Sam. All this and Drew asking me to marry him has all been a bit much for one week!
12TH November
Sam's just been shot by some nutcase. A sniper got him when he did a big speech in Times Square. The guy used a Romulus weapon, and the reporters keep talking about that as though it is some big ironic statement. Point is, he got shot in the shoulder on live television. They froze him in an A&E pod so they can do surgery later to get the wound sorted. They're saying the guy who did it was part of that crew who killed his dad. Maybe it will teach Sam that he needs to get out of that job and he's not as invincible as he thinks he is. Been wondering whether to call him. New York is in chaos. Well, more than usual.
15th November
News said he's fine. Good as new. No need to call him. No pictures or videos anywhere though.
1ST March
Got an email from Mr Remus. He says he's having some bi
g operation in a couple of weeks, it's all top secret and he wants me to be there with him, because he's afraid. He must really trust me. I could sell all my Remus secrets to some big Newscorp. The guy could have anyone in the world. I forget sometimes just how lonely he really is. Should I go? Drew would be so suspicious.
17TH March
Writing in the waiting room, just waiting... where do I start? He's a mess. Since Times Square he's hardly left his house. He barely trusts anyone. So what does he do? He's now having surgery to replace his skin with some kind of bulletproof material. He said when the operation's finished his body would hold together if it was hit by an atomic bomb, or near enough. If I wasn't here I wouldn't believe it. It sounds like something from a sci-fi movie. But seriously. He feels so vulnerable. You could see it in his face. He can't cry, his eyes won't let him. So I did for him. In the whole world I'm probably the only person that sees him like this. In that massive house he's surrounded by robots and computers and holograms that do everything for him and keep him company. He also stank of booze, but I didn't ask him about that. Operation should be over in a couple of days. It's all done by his special creations, no real people anywhere. He still wants me around for this time, 'just in case', whatever that means. He's also given me the access codes to all the stuff in his house, like the butlers, the kitchen, TV etc. Even his artificial petting zoo. Pretty cool house. It adjusts its own temperature according to how you're feeling, and everything talks to you, including the fridge. It should tell me "look what you did to Sam you moody cow! You should have been a better friend." Actually it will probably say "stop eating so much you fat pig." Talking fridges will definitely help solve the obesity crisis. I should tell that to him when he gets out. I hope he's ok.
21st March
Writing in Sam's spare room. He came out of his big sleep today. I struggled to speak. The hair on his body is all (I assume) gone, so he's very smooth and bald, which is quite shocking in itself. He said it will grow back in time. But the weirder thing is his skin, it's now a funny colour, like a dark shade of silver. He looks like a giant Oscar statue, it's bizarre. When I first saw it I thought he may have been one of his creations. All I could do was hold him very tight for a long, long time. Right now I just want to stay and look after him. Is that weird? A couple of years ago I just couldn't stand the sight of him. When people mentioned the name Remus it used to made my blood boil. Now he's this big ball of fear and loneliness. Drew's been ringing me quite a bit, but I haven't picked it up.
24th March
Drew now knows the truth with me and Sam. There was a lot of shouting, and he threw his ring in the bin. He said some really nasty things. I'm so upset.
2nd September (29)
Sam was on the Chris Campion show last night. First media appearance in 6 months. He seemed really good, of course, he's on tv. His fingers were tapping quite a bit on the sofa so he was probably nervous, but he's good at answering questions, shows a confident exterior. Some that I remember:
Chris: Now that your body can hold against anything, people have started calling you the 'Godman'. How do you feel when you hear that word spoken about you?
Sam: Well first of all I'm not God, as we saw in Times Square. In Romulus we're trying to stretch technology to new places, so it can enrich people's lives more and more. I'm simply testing some of the more obscure ones on myself, but I think wouldn't it be great if people could live without fear of disease or injury? That's been one of the ultimate goals of humanity. To be conquerors over all our flaws.
Chris: What has the response been to your appearance? Since your operation sales of silver face paint have been enormous, and many of your fans have been trying to look like you, shaving their heads and everything. Not just a businessman but a fashion icon as well. (The audience went crazy at that).
Sam: Generally positive, especially when people hear why I had the surgery. I don't know a thing about fashion really so I can't comment on that. (well he does have he own clothes shopper)
Chris: What is the secret of your success? How do you keep going, how do you keep moving forward despite the critics and opposition and even violence against you?
Sam: My father was the most driven person I've ever known. But also I may have a guardian angel out there keeping me on track.
After the show I got a text from Sam. It said 'Hello guardian angel ?'. Corny but cute. I was mentioned on TV, sorta. Back to our fortnightly videochats. He's been listening to me moan about Drew, who keeps sending me annoying messages.
August 1st (32)
Back to journal writing again. Have dated a couple of guys, but I'm so worried my relationship with Sam will make things difficult. I don't want another Drew incident. Got a ticket for a flight to the moon and back (came in the post from a not so secret stranger!). That will be in October. I thought the fad of people looking like Sam would be over pretty quickly, but people are stilling at it. I've seen groups of them, meeting in halls and dressing in strange clothes. Someone even tried to give me a tract about their new religion (yes, it's come to that). They're treating him like some kind of deity. It makes me sick to my gut. Sometimes I understand why people are planning on emigrating to Mars. This planet is full of lunatics. He's just a bloke, he said it himself on live TV years ago.
October 12th
Oh my days, so high on adrenaline right now. Actually writing this at the Romulus Moon Base, A-MAZING. As the flight took off it was a bit sicky, but once we were up and away everything was so gorgeous. Got upgraded to 1st class "at Mr Remus' request" (felt bit guilty about that at first). Staff are super friendly. The moonbase is huge, like one of those lakeside resorts we went to as kids. Massive botanical garden full of butterflies - mad! Got a text from Sam a minute ago: "Wish I was there with you! Hating all this work..." Haven't replied. Not being rude, I just don't know how much it costs to send a text across space.
February 8th
Told Sam about mum's cancer. About how terrified I am and how helpless everyone feels. He went all a bit inside of himself at that. I guess he can't quite get his head around parent-child relationships. Or something about his mum. I can never ask him about his family experiences, he always changes the subject. Is that really unhealthy? Or should I just mind my own business?
February 17th
Managed to see him at his London apartment. It got really awkward. He was acting all serious, and basically said that Romulus had achieved ways of treating cancer indefinitely,100% gone forever, and mum could have the treatment, but no one could know about his intervention. It all had to be secret because of business deals and contracts he has signed. The treatment won't be available to the world for at least 20 years. So itll just be sitting in a safe somewhere. I said I could only accept it if he lets the treatment become public. He said he could not do that, and was breaking every rule just by talking about it to me. I just flipped at that. Went berserk. Almost broke something in anger, could have been his face if I had the strength. I love my mum. I don't want her gone. I just hate that Sam gives me all these special privileges he could change the entire world if he had the will. But he doesn't do that. Maybe he just doesn't care about anyone except me. He never talks about anyone else except people that drive him mad or people he just fired or people who are competing against him. Perhaps I'm the only reason Alfie is still working for Romulus - Alf keeps saying they are always putting him in roles he is underqualified for. I wish I never met that spoilt brat.
February 18th
Returned Sam's missed calls. I told him I wanted mum to have the treatment. Didn't sleep at all last night. I don't want her to die. He said it will be sorted in a few days. I feel better. It just feels wrong that he can just 'sort things out' by a simple phone call. If you have the money the problems just vanish. That's just the way the world is I guess, at its core. What I've felt about mum - I don't want anyone else to feel that. I thought I'd be so much more relaxed after that phone call, but I'm all over the place. Will go for walk this evening to clear head
.
July 4th
Wish I didn't care so much about things like this. A truck full of home-made explosives had driven up to Sam's California house. The drivers pretended to be some kind of entourage service from his own company. They were actually Romulus employees. He managed to get security on it in some heroic way. But there was enough explosive to wipe out all the nearby towns, everything in a 30 mile radius. The guys were willing to die for a bomb to go off in his face. Did they not know the man is literally bomb proof? Wonder how he's doing.
July 11th (33)
That trial's been on the news all week. Those guys, seriously, braindead. They've got really nasty looking eyes. Ok, they said the July 4th attack was planned to be their 'independence day', independence from the 'prince of darkness' which is the Remus bloodline. Mental stuff. Conspiracy theories about how the Remus ancestry goes back to this cult who kept doing rituals to bring the end of the world, its all very confusing and a bit too weird. And then they keep showing videos of reactions from those Sam-worshippers. Dad calls them the Long John Silvers. There's a group of them that meet once a month in some big house down the main road. Can't imagine what they talk about. Its all a bit much to take in. Gonna try to nap.
September 30th
Went to see Sam this morning as he's back in this country and just wanted to check if he's ok. I hate him, but I still sortof love him. The guy is like a ghost now. Had small talk, ate some lunch, etc etc but I could tell he wasn't well. He wasn't eating very well cos his mouth hurt (?). I eventually get him to talk about things. Been noticing the alcohol smell the past couple of years, and the way his nose twitches. Turns out he has a serious drinking problem. He has tried to kill himself with drink. But it doesn't work, because of all his operations replacing his internal organs with super hi-tech Romulus manufactured ones. He's addicted to booze, but it won't damage him or make him sick or anything, so he keeps drinking more and more, it's a vicious cycle. He's meddled with a lot of coke, speedball, different combinations. Keeps him going, but his body isn't deteriorating like he wants it to. Just his mind. Next step I guess is to replace his brain with a computer. Oh yeah, and eventually I found out why his mouth hurt. Last night he put a ******* gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Found the gun in the damn kitchen drawer. It ached, but it didn't damage his BULLETPROOF BODY. The guy is 33, but everything about him feels like a thousand years old. Just being in the room with him is mentally draining. I really do care about him, whatever I might say sometimes. He said he doesn't know what to do, and he just wanted to make a difference in the world. I said there is only so much difference a person can make. Then I tried to convince him to retire, or take a year out, before he turns to mush. He thought about it, but he said there's too many cogs turning. If he stops, the world will stop. Some of the stuff he comes out with just makes me want to slap his face. I told him to really think about it. I can't do any more than that.
October 12th
I can't believe Sam actually did it, but I'm watching about it right now. In the dead of night he flew off in a private ship, into space, without warning anyone, not even hinting about it. Just flew away. No one else with him but his zoo of android beasts, like Noah's ark. And a load of his technology and gadgets. He wasn't even heading towards any particular planet or station, just the emptiness of space. He even used a cloaking device so no-one would be able to track him. The world has gone mental (well, more mental). Everyone's talking about it, how it'll affect the economy, business, dadedadeda. Big paper article 'Who will rule the world now that the Godman has gone?' They don't know if he's gone away for a trip, or gone to never come back, so Romulus might be going public. And all the Long John Silvers are devastated. Footage of them sobbing. I'm quite sad, but really I feel such a sense of relief. Is this his retirement? Did he finally crack and leave all these crazy people behind? Good for him. Sam, I want you to find who you really are. Wherever you are, keep looking inside yourself. Now you've got no one to pretend for.
November 5th (34)
With all the fireworks going off, been thinking about Sam a lot. It was about year ago that he went and the company crumbled to nothing. What has he been doing all this time? I sometimes think he's just catching up on sleep. Or go for a space walkabout and experiencing pure silence. If anyone is reading this, (and they probably will catch up with me sooner or later), I want to clarify some things. The man was pretty selfish deep down. And, dare I say it, had too much money. But he also frightened, lonely, insecure, confused, and tired. He didn't know any other way to live - he had to be surrounded by chaos. I've had a life of ups and downs, and aside from being Sam's friend, I've lived a pretty normal but happy life so far. But some of my best memories are when we would hang out, just the 2 of us, and we would go and explore places and talk about nonsense. We had fun. Everyone says what they want about him, but I actually knew him. And even though he's made my hair fall out with worry, or hit things in anger, I'm really glad to be a part of his story, and that he's been a part of mine.
***
The woman shut the magazine down and slipped it into her jacket pocket before catching the monorail to visit a client. "That was weird, reading all that again." She thought. With different names, her life was sprawled out in one of the most read publications around. "Was that really my life?" She thought to herself. She smiled inside as she looked out at the cityscape bathed in smog. She was so lost in her own thoughts she almost ignored the sound alerting her to a text message. Fumbling, she picked up the receiver and read the words. "Tell absolutely no-one - no-one! that you got this message. I'll see you soon. And I'll bring you back some actual space dust."
