A:
Yes. I tried to give up coffee once. I wanted to kill myself. I couldn’t do my job or write this book or function. Which tells me that I am truly addicted to the stuff and really should consider actually quitting it some time. Maybe slowly cut back until I’m off it completely. But I didn’t declare that I was cutting back. I took it on cold turkey, and I failed failed failed. But I learned a lot from the attempt, so all was not lost. However, 50 points were lost—50 POINTS. IT SUUUUUUUCKS to lose 50 points. So again, choose carefully.
Q:
Does it have to be a “bad” habit, or can it just be something that I want to change in my life?
A:
It can just be something you want to change. And feel free to be creative. One game, I wanted to floss my teeth as my new habit but I also wanted to make sure I stretched for 20 minutes each day. So my new habit choice was flossing, and the thing I decided to let go of was complacency. Worked nicely.
Q:
If I can’t think of any habits that I want to change, can I help my husband change his bad habits?
A:
Heh. Hee hee. I like your thinking. But no. What you could do is take a look at your own control issues. You could try giving up expressing any opinions about anyone else’s life for four weeks. See how that goes. I bet it’s tough for you. (I know it would be for me.)
Q:
If I have a big project that I have been avoiding, like cleaning my garage, will it count if I do a little bit each day?
A:
Yes! But you should set a definite and measurable task and goal. As in, “I will organize my garage for 20 minutes, minimum, each day. By the end of four weeks the garage must be completely organized.”
Q:
As my healthy habit, can I take on more exercise?
A:
You can, but I would encourage you to consider other things. In a recent study of dieters who had lost fifty pounds or more and kept it off, the thing they all had in common was that they had changed things in their life that were unrelated to diet and exercise and therefore seemingly unrelated to weight loss. But as it turns out, keeping an agile mind and an open attitude has a lot to do with maintaining successful weight loss. So—maybe you can take on extra exercise AND something else. E.g.: For my new healthy habit, I will exercise for an extra 20 minutes a day, and I will journal for 15 minutes.
Q:
What if an opposing team member picks a lame and easy habit to change? Can I request they pick another habit?
A:
No. You can talk to them about it, but keep in mind that “lame and easy” to you might be cripplingly difficult to your friend. Five minutes of meditation is as hard for me as an hour of ANYTHING ELSE. But when I do it, my mind calms and my spirit improves (and occasionally 5 minutes even morphs into 10). Still, if you think your friend is copping out, talk to her about it. This game is as much about building support and community for a healthy lifestyle as it is about anything else, so it’s absolutely fine to ask supportive questions and encourage your teammates to take on more.
GET A PEN!
On the following lines, write down a few things you think you might like to/need to change. You don’t have to officially pick your habits right this second, but writing down the truth will help you narrow down the choices. (And if, after writing, you’re still not sure, check out the next chapter, where I’ve offered some basic instructions on some common healthy habit options.)
* * *
Play by the Rules
* * *
Eliminating an unhealthy habit is worth 10 points per day.
Integrating a new healthy habit is worth 10 points per day.
If you change your habits mid-game, you lose 50 points.
Pick a habit that you want to transform, not something that others think you should change.
Challenge yourself to think big. The benefit to your life is directly proportional to how big you’re willing to go.
A habit can be anything that affects your physical, emotional, or mental health or quality of life.
Although we say “think big,” you can start small. The important thing is that you begin.
Old dogs can learn new tricks.
Chapter 13
HEALTHY HABIT INSTRUCTIONS
(Or, How the Hell Am I Supposed to Do THAT??)
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
—Douglas Noel Adams
I’m a big believer in making things up as I go along. I tend to think that reading too many instruction manuals pulls us away from our instincts and puts us in a mentality of wanting to get a thing right (which usually is the thing that screws us out of having any fun in life—that determination to do it “right”). That said, a little education sometimes goes a really long way. Like, when I was in college and I used the word penultimate like this: “The concert was awesome. It was, like, the penultimate entertainment!” I had read the word penultimate somewhere and decided it was, like, an even more extreme version of ultimate. My acting professor Rick Seer cocked his head at a funny angle and said, “Um, penultimate means second to last. Not super-ultimate.” Making it up as I went along had failed me there. Horribly, mortifyingly failed me.
Sometimes we have to learn from people who know. So, like I said in the previous chapter, you can pick almost anything you can think of for your new healthy habit—but if you’d like a little extra guidance, I’ve included a few of my favorites on the following pages and some basic instructions from people who know much more than I do.
Yoga
I was frustrated with how long it took me to get going in the morning (it’s like I spent the first couple of hours of my day at half speed) so I took on yoga as my healthy habit. Every morning, first thing after waking, I did a series of Sun Salutations. I can’t explain the difference it made in my day. As soon as I completed the series I felt wide awake and raring to go.
—Woody, 36
I love yoga. But I don’t do it every day. I have, in my life, gone through phases of doing it every day and when I do, I look better, feel better, and am in general a kinder and funnier person. So why don’t I do it every day now? Ummm…I don’t know. Life gets in the way and somehow my tricky brain convinces me that another cup of coffee will serve me better than putting down my computer and doing a chattaranga or two. I even love that word. Chattaranga. It’s basically a push-up, but in yoga, everything sounds prettier.
This latest game, I wanted to restart my yoga practice but I knew I didn’t have much time so I simply committed to three Sun Salutations a day. The series takes less than 10 minutes—and stretches just about every muscle in the body, gets your heart rate up, and gets your gratitude flowing. On the following pages are instructions for beginners from my favorite yoga teacher, Jessica Jennings.
* * *
The Sun Salutation Series
Start in Mountain with palms together
A. Feet are hips-width and parallel.
B. Palms are lightly pressed together with the shoulders drawing back and the chest pressing up toward the thumbs.
C. Lift chin slightly to open the throat.
Inhale and sweep the arms up, spreading fingers wide
A. Stay in Mountain alignment with shoulders back
B. Look up at the thumbs.
C. Lift out of the waist, reaching up toward the sky.
Exhale into Forward Fold
A. Touch the floor with fingertips, bending the knees if necessary. Try to lift and spread all ten toes to engage the muscles of the legs as you press thighs back toward straight legs.
B. Release crown of the head toward the earth.
Inhale and step the right foot back into a Lunge
A. Make sure the left knee is directly over the ankle.
B. Touch the floor on either side of your front foot, melt the upper back down, and lengthen out through crown of
the head.
Step the left foot back into Plank
A. The body is one straight line, in a push-up position. Exhale and soften down between the shoulder blades.
B. Scoop your tailbone down to draw the belly in and press the heels back.
Exhale down into Four-Limbed Staff Pose
A. Lower halfway, bending elbows a little away from the body. Keep lifting the shoulders up and back, never lower than the elbows. Bend knees to floor if necessary.
B. Breathe.
Inhale into Cobra
A. Move forward and down to the floor. With bent elbows, pull the shoulders back and pull belly and heart forward. Point nose to the sky.
B. Scoop tailbone and lengthen out through your toes.
C. Work toward straightening arms as much as you can while keeping head and shoulders back.
Exhale into Downward Facing Dog
A. Tuck the toes under and lift the hips up and back.
B. Press fingers firmly down and lift the forearms away from the floor. Soften the upper back down.
C. Bend your knees at first to lift the hips and press thighs back to straighten legs. Lift hips up while extending heels down.
Inhale and step the right foot forward into a Lunge
A. Make sure the right knee is directly over the ankle.
B. Soften the front thigh down so it’s parallel to the floor, while keeping the back thigh lifted.
C. Lengthen the bones of the legs in opposite directions.
Exhale and step forward into Forward Fold
A. Touch the fingertips to the floor, and engage the leg muscles by lifting the kneecaps.
B. Press your thighs back toward straight legs.
C Lengthen down through crown of head.
Inhale and sweep the arms up with palms together
A. Press the feet down, lift the chest, and look up at the thumbs.
B. Root down from tailbone and stretch up and back.
Exhale and bring the palms together
A. Come into mountain alignment.
B. Palms are lightly pressed together with the shoulders back and the chest broadening into the hands with each breath.
C. Root the four corners of the feet down into the earth and stand tall.
D. Release the hands to your sides.
Ahimsa, the yogic practice of nonviolence, must be adhered to when practicing hatha yoga. Respect your body’s limitations and inner wisdom, and if something feels unsafe or painful, please do not do it.
Please consult your health care practitioner before starting a yoga practice or any exercise program. Once you decide to proceed, feedback from a trained yoga teacher can make your practice safer and more effective.
Jessica Jennings, certified Anusara yoga teacher
www.yogagroundwork.com
* * *
Personally, I LOVE the Sun Salutation series. And it’s really not hard to learn. But if it feels like too much for you to begin with, then consider these instructions on how to do yoga ANYWHERE from Jennifer Bloom. If you take this on as your healthy habit, then you might commit to something like this: I will not make phone calls in the car. Or, I will not stand around hating smelly people on the subway. Instead, I will practice yoga. And then do it every day, every drive, or every ride and see what happens to your mood and your life!
* * *
Yoga Anywhere
If you’re considering checking out yoga, believe me, it’s one of the coolest things you can do for yourself. EVERYTHING changes—not just the size and shape of your body, but your self-esteem, your mood, your creativity, your sex life, your ability to love and be passionate, compassionate, patient…all those things we know instinctively we’d like to cultivate but aren’t really sure how to start and don’t really have the time for.
I’m a guerilla yogini. Yes, I teach in studios and classrooms, but I also find ways for the rest of the world to fold it into busy lives.
Here are a few guidelines to building a yoga practice for the car, on the phone, or anywhere else you find yourself stuck:
Breath: Establish a slow, steady breath pattern. Inhale for a slow count of 5. Hold full for a count of 1, then exhale for a count of 6, just a touch longer than your inhale. Every exhale produces a metabolic change as you release carbon dioxide and cell debris and is another chance to get rid of tension, stale air, and stale thoughts.
Circles: Now that you have a slow, steady breath, try making circles. Our body is full of circles—you can circle the head, the shoulders, the ribs, wrists, ankles, even the tailbone! (That’s my favorite, like belly dancing in the car.) Try doing half a circle on the inhale, and half the circle on the exhale. Or circle in one direction as you breathe in, the other direction as you breathe out. You can work through the spine and body sequentially in this manner—doing several sets for each body part, almost like a corkscrew.
Open Heart: Practice your compassion by opening your heart. At each stoplight, take a hand off the steering wheel (just one, please), and place it directly over your head on the ceiling of the car. Now, walk your hand toward the back windshield. You should feel a tremendous stretch through the armpit and into the muscles of the chest. Hold here for several slow, deep breaths. Play with the position of your hand, maybe reaching further toward either of the back corners of the car—make this stretch perfect for you. As you peel away the tension around your heart, you may be able to find a bit more freedom to love yourself and the other drivers sharing the road with you.
Bottom line is, ANY yoga is better than no yoga. I’m a cancer survivor. Already a yogini when diagnosed, I practiced this introspective, subtler, guerilla yoga at the doctor’s office, in the chemo chair, on the phone with the insurance people—everywhere! It saved me a lot of tears and drama and helped get me to complete remission in six months.
The coolest thing about yoga? You’ll shed weight, anxiety, and boredom in buckets. You’ll end up doing things physically, mentally, creatively, and emotionally that you never thought you’d be able to do. And you’re helping to achieve world peace, by starting with yourself.
Jennifer Bloom, RYT, is the creative director of Yogablooms.
She conducts workshops on Guerilla Yoga and Yoga and Cancer, and regularly
teaches yoga to all ages and sizes in Los Angeles, www.yogablooms.com
* * *
Journaling
At first I thought I had nothing to write about. And then after a couple of days, I had everything to write about! It felt so good to spill the ugly truth—the craziness and fears and pettiness and silliness that goes through my mind—even just to myself and my journal.
—Leah, 30
In a slew of studies, journaling has been shown to radically decrease stress, radically improve mood, and even improve physical health. So how do you do it? You do it by knowing that you can’t do it wrong! Put pen to paper. But maybe knowing this little stat will help: Researchers have found that people who write about their deepest thoughts and feelings surrounding upsetting events have stronger immunity and visit their doctors half as often as those who write only about trivial events. Crazy, huh? That the act of putting pen to paper and spilling your feelings on to the page can actually reduce your stress enough to improve your immune system??
That statistic actually doesn’t surprise me that much because I am absolutely convinced that the act of journaling is the main thing that kept me sane through my pretty chaotic childhood, teens, and twenties. I was an obsessive journal writer from the age of eight when my mom gave my sister Kaili and me these pretty, shiny Asian-style journals for Christmas. I didn’t know what to write in mine so I snuck and read Kaili’s and then COPIED the first few sentences she’d written! True story. Which I think she is just now learning for the first time.
Hee. It went something like this (I know—’cause I still have it). “Dear Diary, I think diary is not a good name for you. I love you! So I think I will name you Love. Yeah, that’s a good name! Dear Love…” Hee. Hee Hee. I kept jour
nals from the age of eight until the age of twenty-eight and then stopped abruptly. And in writing this chapter, I sat in my fluffy green chair for a long time trying to figure WHY I stopped. I have boxes and boxes of journals—through grade school, high school, and college, through my New York waitressing years, my Portland acting years, and my early years in L.A. when I was trying desperately to get an agent. And then they just stop. I couldn’t figure it out for a while, so I went back and read the last few I have.
And then it came to me. I stopped journaling when I got a good therapist, which tells me for certain that my journals served as therapist to me for a long, long time. They are full of pain, full of heartbreak, full of bad poetry. There is not a lot of happiness in them—I tended to stop writing during my happiest times, and then start again when life fell apart. There is no doubt that they were my best friend, my secret keeper, my dumping ground, and that they held my sanity in their well worn pages…Dear Diary, I think diary is not a good name for you. So I think I will name you Love. Yeah, that’s a good name. Dear Love…That Kaili. Pretty wise for a ten-year-old.
If you’re tempted to try but are not sure where to start, let’s look at a couple of techniques from some of my favorite teachers.
The Game On! Diet Page 16
