Patty Pigeon: You’re scaring me …
NOTE FROM THE RITZY CITY POST EDITOR: THIS INTERVIEW ENDED BECAUSE OUR REPORTER TERRIFIED PATTY PIGEON.
And so a final word from Patty Pigeon’s fairy, Sally.
Reporter: Sally … Sally? Where’s Sally? Did someone check Sally wasn’t squashed under the chandelier?
‘And that’s the smallest house in Pearl Peak,’ Peggy said, pointing at a huge house that had so many floors it looked like some sort of elaborate stone wedding cake. ‘And that shop, Beyond Bling, sells the most expensive jewellery in Sinkville, and that restaurant, Silly Expensive, has the most expensive food in Sinkville. And that’s a money tree, and that’s …’
Tiga had never seen anything like it. Pearl Peak was dark, cold and enveloped in fog, but the buildings were slick and shiny – almost clinical. All the trees were exactly the same shape, as if they weren’t really real. And in the distance stood a perfect snow-covered castle, with a big black roller coaster wrapped around it.
It was eerily quiet. Not a single witch stood on the icy street.
Well, not at first …
‘Welcome to Pearl Peak,’ Felicity Bat said as she glided towards them through the fog.
‘Thank yo–’ Peggy began, but then realised it was Felicity Bat and Felicity was not being nice.
‘I’m sorry you made it this far. I’m going to have to knock off your heads now,’ she sneered.
Aggie Hoof cackled and tugged at Felicity Bat’s arm. ‘Let’s get rid of the annoying one from above the pipes first.’
Felicity Bat set her eyes on Tiga and snaked towards her. ‘There’s something you need to know, Pipe Witch. You aren’t welcome here. Not in Pearl Peak, not anywhere in Sinkville. Witches like you don’t deserve to be here. It’s time you went back to your horrible little life up there.’ She rose up into the air, but not – for once – because she was levitating. It was because Lizzie Beast had lifted her up by the belt of her dress. She took off Felicity Bat’s hat and handed it to Tiga.
Felicity Bat waved her hand and Lizzie Beast started to float.
‘She’s making Lizzie Beast levitate!’ Peggy said, stomping her feet. ‘Squash her shrivelled head, Tiga!’
Tiga pulled the shrivelled head off the hat and dropped it on the ground.
It can’t be this easy?! she thought. Felicity Bat has won GAS awards …
With a shaky foot raised in the air, she looked up at Felicity Bat and smiled.
But then Felicity Bat did something odd.
She smiled back.
Tiga crunched the shrivelled head under her shoe and waited for the smoke to billow up Felicity Bat’s legs.
They all waited.
Peggy waited.
Lizzie Beast floated about in the air, and waited.
Felicity Bat waited.
And then …
‘Aaaaah!’ came a cry.
Tiga spun round. There, behind Peggy, arms outstretched, about to attack, stood Aggie Hoof with smoke billowing from her shoes.
‘She was wearing Aggie Hoof’s hat!’ Peggy shouted.
‘You mean cheat!’ Tiga cried.
‘YOU CRUSHED MY SHRIVELLED HEAD!’ Aggie Hoof roared, before disappearing with a pop.
‘THE POP!’ Fran cheered.
Tiga spun round again just in time to hear another crunch.
‘OH NO!’ Peggy cried, racing over to Lizzie Beast. She was lying in a heap on the floor, smoke surrounding her. Julie Jumbo Wings was flapping about in her face trying to help her, but she was only slapping her with her wings.
‘Ouch. Wings. Ouch. Wings. Ouch. Wings,’ Lizzie Beast said.
Tiga raced towards Felicity Bat, who was levitating high up in the air and cackling like a mad witch.
‘Where is your hat, Felicity Bat?’ Tiga demanded.
‘Wouldn’t you like to know,’ she said before tearing through the sky, leaving only the echo of her cackles behind. Oh, and Crispy, who was lolling about in the air looking droopy and bored.
Fran gave Crispy a stern look.
‘Oh, right, better follow her,’ said the fairy as she adjusted the camera and flew off.
‘LET’S GET HER!’ Peggy roared as Lizzie Beast disappeared with a wave and a pop.
Tiga paused.
They could race after Felicity Bat, try to find her hat and knock off her shrivelled head – it was probably still on the bed at Linden House – but they still needed to figure out the last clue. Maybe Felicity Bat hadn’t worked it out yet! When Tiga said that to Peggy, Peggy hid her hand behind her back.
‘What is it?’ Tiga asked.
‘Um,’ Peggy said, showing Tiga the TV on her hand.
FELICITY BAT FINDS FINAL CLUE AND RACES TO THE FINISH, said the words running along the bottom of the screen.
‘Frogankles,’ Tiga grumbled. ‘Big frogankles.’
AGGIE HOOF
AND LIZZIE
BEAST ARE OUT!
Pearl Peak’s richest kid and Ritzy City’s most gigantic girl are the latest to be knocked out of Witch Wars! Our reporter caught up with them to find out what it feels like to be so close, and yet so frogging far.
Reporter: Aggie Hoof, Lizzie Beast, talk to me.
Aggie Hoof: I WILL ONLY SPEAK TO TOAD MAGAZINE AND I WILL NOT BE INTERVIEWED WITH HER.
Reporter: I’m afraid you were knocked out at almost exactly the same time so you and Lizzie Beast have to be in the same article.
Now, tell me –
Aggie Hoof: NO!
Reporter: Your best friend Felicity Bat is the reason you were knocked out. She was wearing your hat and didn’t seem to care when you were knocked out.
Aggie Hoof: SHE CARES.
Reporter: Have you watched the footage of Witch Wars since you left? She really doesn’t seem to care.
Aggie Hoof: I AM TERMINATING THIS INTERVIEW.
NOTE FROM THE RITZY CITY POST EDITOR: AGGIE HOOF TERMINATED THE INTERVIEW AND OUR REPORTER FORGOT TO INTERVIEW LIZZIE BEAST, SO THIS IS IT. AGGIE HOOF REFUSED TO LET US TAKE HER PICTURE, SO HERE IS A PICTURE OF LIZZIE BEAST, AND A PICTURE OF LIZZIE BEAST DRESSED AS AGGIE HOOF.
And now, some final words from Lizzie Beast’s fairy, Julie Jumbo Wings, and Aggie Hoof’s fairy, Donna.
Donna: What do you think of my hair?
Julie Jumbo Wings: It’s just JULIE!
The two witches climbed on the roller coaster and as Peggy pulled down the black bar on the seat it burst into life. Lights flashed, chirpy music started up and a voice bellowed, ‘WELCOME TO THE HAIR-MESSING, MIND-BENDING, WITCHINGLY WILD ROLLER COASTER RIDE OF YOUR LIFE!’
Below them stood a large crowd of witches in the blackest of black dresses. They didn’t cheer or whoop or whistle for Tiga and Peggy, but remained deadly silent. It was clear whose side they were on.
The roller coaster shot forward and spun round in loops.
‘We don’t have time for this!’ Tiga cried.
‘MAYBE THE CLUE WILL BE HANGING FROM THE ROLLER COASTER SOMEWHERE AND WE’LL NEED TO GRAB IT!’ Peggy screamed in Tiga’s ear.
Tiga sighed. She had almost given up and was feeling sick, but as the roller coaster did a triple loop and swirled around and dived back down, some swirly writing appeared in front of them.
The end can be found where the start once sat.
Touch the Giant Pin, and that will be that.
You’ll find it in daylight, at dawn and at night,
Just not on a Wednesday, no matter your might.
‘DID YOU SEE THAT?!’ Peggy roared in Tiga’s ear as the roller coaster screeched to a halt.
Tiga steadied herself as she stepped out of the carriage. ‘Well, the end can be found where the start once sat. We started at Linden House, so it must mean there.’
‘It might mean at the top of Pearl Peak. That’s where the first witch landed. Maybe it means the start of Sinkville, not Witch Wars,’ Peggy said.
Tiga paced back and forth. ‘It could mean that …’
‘What’s t
he Giant Pin bit about?’ Peggy asked. ‘I’ve never heard of a Giant Pin, and it’s not a place.’
Tiga continued to pace back and forth in front of Peggy as Peggy flicked through the useless history of Sinkville book.
‘We could just do the TV spell and see where Felicity Bat has gone!’ Peggy suggested.
‘But she might be wrong,’ said Tiga. ‘We have the clue, we have all we need to solve it. We can do it.’
Peggy threw the history of Sinkville book on the floor. ‘There is nothing in here about a Giant Pin.’
What does it mean? Tiga thought. She started to pace faster and faster. Think, Tiga Whicabim, think, you big witch!
‘You’ve stopped,’ said Peggy.
Tiga was frozen on the spot. A huge grin spread like jam across her face.
‘It’s an anagram! Like my name! When you mix up the letters of Tiga Whicabim it spells I am a big witch.’
Peggy snorted. ‘That’s brilliant.’
‘And,’ Tiga said, her grin getting unfathomably big, ‘what word do you get if you jumble up the letters in Giant Pin?’
Peggy scrunched up her face and thought for a moment. ‘You get … PAINTING!’
‘We have to find a painting!’ Tiga cried.
‘Amazing!’ Peggy said, leaping from foot to foot. ‘Which painting?’
Tiga’s mouth opened, and then shut again. ‘I’m not entirely sure … It must be in Linden House – that’s where we started, like the first bit of the clue says. And Fran did say Linden House is home to all of Sinkville’s most important artworks. It must be a painting in Linden House.’
‘I did say that! I say many great things,’ said Fran.
‘What do you think the day and dawn and night but not Wednesday means?’ Peggy asked.
Tiga’s eyes widened. ‘The hidden painting of the map of Sinkville! The one you get to via the spinning sofa! That room doesn’t exist on a Wednesday! Does it, Fran? … Fran?’
Fran had vanished.
‘YES!’ Peggy cried. ‘THAT’S IT!’
‘Where is Fran?’ Tiga asked. ‘She was here just a moment ago …’
‘No time for Fran,’ said Peggy. ‘If Felicity Bat is already on her way there, we’re never going to beat her. Linden House is miles and miles from Pearl Peak.’
‘There must be a quicker way,’ Tiga mumbled. And then she remembered something. ‘Pegs, do you know where the Pearl Peak bookshop is?’
Peggy looked confused. ‘Now, Tiga, I love books, but this is no time for book shopping.’
Tiga grabbed her arm. ‘There’s a shortcut to the Towers in the Pearl Peak bookshop. I saw it on one of the towers when we were there. And the Towers is much closer to Linden House than Pearl Peak.’
Peggy squealed and they raced down the hill to a little bookshop. The outside was covered in frost and the inside was stuffed with black books.
‘No, of course you can’t take the shortcut,’ a grumpy witch with small round glasses said.
‘MOTHER, MY DOLL IS MISSING!’ a little witch next to her squealed. ‘MY DOLL IS MISSING! MISSING!’
‘You know,’ said Peggy, ‘you should look in a little doll shop in the Docks called Desperate Dolls. The witch who owns the shop collects all the lost dolls in Sinkville and, er, fixes them.’
This seemed to please the little witch. ‘She’s good. Let her use the shortcut, Mother. LET HER USE THE SHORTCUT, MOTHER!’
The grumpy witch growled and rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, fine. Use the shortcut.’
Peggy and Tiga tore towards the hole in the ground and jumped.
Back in Ritzy City, Felicity Bat strolled along the road with a smirk on her face. She had so much time on her hands that she didn’t even have to levitate any more.
A roar sounded around her.
‘Peggy and Tiga figured out the clue!’ an old witch yelled.
‘One of them might still win it!’ another cried.
‘Shhh, guys, that’s Felicity Bat over there,’ another whispered.
Felicity Bat growled and flew fast towards Linden House.
As Tiga pelted down the street towards Linden House, she could see a huge crowd gathered outside. Only three flags remained.
‘There are thousands of witches!’ Peggy cried. ‘What are they looking at?’
Tiga stopped suddenly.
Peggy flew into the back of her and knocked her hat off. Tiga dived and caught it just before it hit the ground.
‘Sorry!’ Peggy shouted, leaping from foot to foot.
They were both panicking, and Tiga knew that wasn’t good.
She held up her hand and mumbled the TV spell. Felicity Bat was in Linden House. She was taking all the paintings off the walls and lining them up in the bare sitting room with the flowery sofa. The room that would lead her to the map!
‘She doesn’t know which painting it is!’ Tiga cried. ‘She doesn’t know about the sofa and the map – she arrived too late, remember? She wasn’t with us when we looked at the map, and she wasn’t one of the girls in the room when we flipped back round on the sofa. All she knows is that the answer to the clue is a painting in Linden House!’
‘We could still beat her,’ Peggy said.
Tiga lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘And without Fran no one will be filming us, so Felicity Bat won’t be able to tell where we are. We can sneak in … Do you think Fran is OK?’
‘I’m sure she’s fine …’ said Peggy, not sounding very sure at all. ‘Or at least probably not dead.’
‘It is Fran,’ said Tiga. ‘She’s indestructible.’
‘You’re right,’ Peggy said. ‘She’s definitely not squashed somewhere. And she would want us to carry on …’
Tiga nodded. She held up her hand and showed Peggy the image of Felicity Bat in Linden House. She wasn’t wearing her hat.
‘Pegs, we need to be clever about this. She doesn’t have her hat and she’s in the very room we need to get to. I say we try to find her hat and crush her shrivelled head. If we can’t find it, we create a distraction and get her out of there so we can get to the map.’
Peggy nodded. ‘Let’s just hope she doesn’t sit on that sofa …’
Tiga and Peggy sneaked round the back of Linden House to avoid the crowd that was getting bigger and bulkier by the second.
They found an open window by the kitchen and raced upstairs to Felicity Bat’s room. There, placed carefully on the bed, was the hat they needed.
Tiga grabbed it, her hands shaking, and felt for the shrivelled head.
‘The shrivelled head isn’t here,’ she whispered.
Peggy grabbed the hat and felt around the brim. ‘Where could it be?’
‘MORE WITCH WARS WITCHES!’ a voice suddenly cried. It belonged to the witch with the ladder; she was peering in through the window again.
Peggy dropped the hat. Tiga froze. And that’s when they heard the sound of angry footsteps clattering up the stairs.
‘Hide!’ Peggy shouted.
‘Run!’ Tiga cried, grabbing Peggy’s arm and charging out into the hallway.
They crashed straight into Felicity Bat.
‘Well, well, well. You thought you could sneak in and beat me, did you? You of all people, Piggy, should know I’m much too clever for you. You’re rubbish at everything. You’re a waste of Sinkville space. You should just go and live with your little friend above the pipes. Everyone would be glad to see you go. No one wants you here, Piggy.’
‘Ooooooooh,’ went the crowd outside.
‘Oh, I’ve had enough of your nastiness!’ Tiga said. ‘What have you done with your shrivelled head, you horrible witch?’
Felicity Bat found this hilarious. ‘You know being a bad witch is actually considered a good thing down here.’
Crispy nodded as she buzzed around Felicity Bat’s head.
‘NO, IT’S NOT!’ the woman on the ladder yelled.
Felicity Bat flicked her finger and sent her flying.
There was a crunching sound, and then a gasp, a
nd then a very faint, ‘I’m OK …’
Felicity Bat cleared her throat and continued. ‘I’m incredibly good at everything I do, and you’ll never figure out where I’ve hidden my shrivelled head. It’s somewhere you’ll never find it.’
‘The half empty cereal box on the dining room table,’ said Karen. She was standing in the window, perched on the ladder. She winked at Tiga.
‘KAAAAREHHHN, YOU IDIOOOOOOT!’ came a cry from outside. Aggie Hoof was obviously watching from the crowd.
Felicity Bat stared at Tiga.
Tiga stared at Felicity Bat.
Then Tiga made a run for it. She shot down the stairs, but her legs wouldn’t move fast enough! Felicity Bat was tearing through the air behind her.
‘Aaaaaargh, you won’t get it!’ she screeched.
They were getting closer and closer to the dining room. Felicity Bat flung her hands madly about in the air, sending statues crashing down on Tiga. Tiga ducked and dived and threw herself towards the dining room door, but before she could reach it, it slammed shut.
She crashed into it and fell to the floor as Felicity Bat cackled.
Everything seemed to move in slow motion for Tiga. She groaned, clutching her head. There was no hat on it any more. She looked up slowly and saw Felicity Bat hovering above her. In her hand was Tiga’s hat, and on it was the only thing keeping her in Ritzy City.
‘You know, when I crush this they’ll send you straight back up the pipes. You won’t be interviewed by the rubbish Ritzy City Post reporter and you won’t get to see who wins, although I think we all know it’s going to be me. You’ll be back above the pipes, all alone with that horrible woman you hate. And no one in Ritzy City will ever remember you were here.’
Tiga clenched her fists and tried not to cry. She bit her lip and glanced up the stairs. Peggy was nowhere to be seen. All she wanted was to say goodbye to Peggy.
‘I suppose it’s terribly unoriginal,’ Felicity Bat said. ‘But … any last words?’
Witch Wars Page 10
