by Emma Nichols
“This was barely a talk. And I have more to say.”
I rolled my eyes. “Can’t wait, Mom.”
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” she added.
“Sure.” Then I ended the call, knowing I planned to ignore her next call when it came in. I took a few deep breaths to calm down, then I stared out over the city. Charlotte had such a pretty skyline. For the last two years, I’d lived in an apartment in South Charlotte and longingly stared at it as I drove to work. Now, I’d be living in it and I couldn’t help but feel a stirring of excitement inside. Holding onto that thought, I turned around and opened the sliding door. To my surprise, Paxton was sitting up on the sofa wearing nothing but pajama pants and holding Molly, who was whimpering.
“She’s crying.” He looked at me helplessly. “I didn’t want to bother you. Sounded important.”
“It was my mother. So…not really,” I joked. Then I glanced at the baby in his arms. “Hungry, I’m guessing. Let me heat a bottle.” And I rushed off to the kitchen. I’d barely managed to get the water heating and stuck the bottle in it when the doorbell rang. I frowned at looked to Paxton, who was still on the couch, for guidance. “Want me to get that?”
He shook his head. “Take Molly. I’m guessing it’s Marley. She had a fundraiser tonight. I declined her invitation.” Paxton carefully passed me his baby before turning to answer the door.
“Marley,” he murmured as he opened. “What a surprise.” His voice was flat.
She took one step inside and smiled until she saw me holding Molly. Immediately, she scowled. “What’s she doing here?” She jerked her thumb at me.
I pulled the bottle from the water, tested it, and made my way out of the kitchen. “We’ll be in the nursery,” I told Paxton. I glanced briefly at Marley. I normally would’ve said something about how it was nice to see her again. That was our typical greeting for her near-daily visits while I was working. I opened my mouth, thought better of it, and instead made my way down the hall.
“Well?” she snapped.
“I guess we have a lot to talk about, or maybe nothing at all,” Paxton responded.
My heart raced as I disappeared inside the nursery. What I wouldn’t give to hear this conversation. Of course, if they were loud enough, I wouldn’t have to give anything. The acoustics in here were awesome and voices truly carried.
5
Paxton
* * *
“You refuse to go to the gala with me, and when I show up to check on you, I find her here, trying to look all sexy for you.” Marley huffed and turned her head in disgust.
This was the part where I was supposed to appease her, convince her things were fine between us and my feelings hadn’t faded in the least. I’d done this roughly once a month for the past six months. I was over it. “Avery’s not trying to look sexy,” I grumbled. I’d never thought of Avery in such terms. To me, she was efficient. She was organized. She was practical. Never had I ever thought of her in terms of attractiveness. I stared down the hall, trying to recall what she was wearing. My brow wrinkled as I struggled to remember. Shorts? A big t-shirt? I don’t even know. She mumbled something about grabbing her gym clothes from the car. So, probably something like that, right?
“You don’t even see it, do you?” Marley groaned in disgust. “She has been sniffing around here since before we started dating.”
“I pay her to be here. Every evening, she rushes out of here and carries on with her life. I don’t know where she lives. I don’t know where she goes. I have no idea how she spends her life.” I scowled and rubbed the back of my neck. And yet, I’d thought nothing of asking Avery to drop everything to accommodate me. I had some serious making up to do. No wonder she’d been pissy all evening.
“Whatever, Paxton,” Marley spat. “I’m tired of this. I’m not even a priority in your life. And now…since that baby showed up, Avery has weaseled her way in and I’ve dropped another rung. I’m second to the kid.” She glared down the hall, then looked to me for confirmation. “What? I’m not even second?” She gasped and began to pace.
“I’m not sure this is going to work out, Marley. We don’t want the same things. You live for events. It’s your whole social life.” I started to explain, but she interrupted me.
“We met at one of those ‘events,’ as you like to call them,” she growled. “Don’t belittle my life.”
“Oh, I’m not. It’s your life. You’re free to live it as you please, but I don’t like it. I want nothing to do with it.” I threw my hands up.
“You were at the Make a Wish one,” Marley reminded me again.
“Yes. I was a kid’s wish.” I sighed. “You whispered in my ear that you wanted to make my wish come true too. I let you. I didn’t see this happening. I wasn’t looking for anything serious.”
“And yet here we are, six months later. We’ll be getting engaged soon.” She stared out the glass doors to look over the city. “Avery will have to go. And the baby should be back with her mother. We’ll start our own life.” Marley turned and smiled at me and I froze.
Licking my lips, I chose my words carefully. “You think you know how this is all going to turn out, don’t you?” I shook my head. “That’s not the kind of life I lead, nor is it the life I want to have.” I sank down on the couch and held my head in my hands.
Marley sat beside me and began to rub my back. “Just let things happen,” she whispered.
“You don’t mean that. You just want me to let things happen your way,” I grumbled. “I won’t do that, just like I can’t fire Avery and I won’t send Molly back to Harlow.” I rubbed my face a few times and stood to get some space. I don’t care how hot Marley looked in her little black dress. The way her legs looked in stilettos was no longer much of a contributing factor to how I thought about her. In a day, I’d gone from being fun to being a father. There was a good chance there was no room for her in my new life.
“I’ll let you think about it,” she purred as she stood and circled me.
I shook my head. “There’s really nothing to think about, and given your stance on all this, there’s clearly nothing for us to talk about either.” I watched her and her eyes slowly widened. I doubt there had been many, if any, guys who had broken up with her before. A day ago, I wouldn’t have either. Marley felt like a prize. And I no longer needed to claim her. “I have a daughter to raise,” I explained carefully. “If you don’t want to accept that, and accept her, then we need to call it.”
I watched her mull it over. She actually turned up her nose and I pretty much knew what she was thinking. Marley had never been the maternal kind, which worked just fine for me until I discovered I had a baby who deserved a mother. Now, this was a bigger stumbling block than we could overcome. “Yeah,” I spoke in a hushed voice. “There will be diaper changes, and spit up. There will be late nights and early mornings. There may be colic.”
“What do you know about colic?” Her eyes widened.
My face warmed in shame. “I researched all the stuff I had to look forward to. That’s not even the worst of it. Kids get sick more because of their weaker immune systems. I’m talking puke and diarrhea too.” I shook my head. “I’m not sure I’m ready for it, but I’m positive you aren’t.” I blew out a breath and moved to stand in front of her. Laying my hands on her shoulders, I asked, “And why are you trying to hold onto something that no longer serves you, no longer fits your plans?”
Her blue eyes blinked a few times and I thought she might finally be getting it. She shook her head, as if to remove some troubling thought from it. Marley inhaled deeply.
“Is it pride? You can tell everyone you broke it off. I don’t care.” My shoulders slumped and for the first time, I realized how much I wanted…no, needed this to be over. I motioned for her to follow me. “Come on. Let’s go pack your things.” I smiled and walked into my bedroom.
She bristled slightly when she saw Avery’s duffle bag sitting on the floor beside the bed. “So, she’s staying here?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to have her move into the spare room so she can be close to Molly. I’m on the other side of the living room.” I gestured like the decision should be obvious.
“You’re going to end up together.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I always knew it.”
“What are you talking about?” I groaned. “She’s going to be my nanny in addition to the PA stuff. I really think more dads should have this in their lives.” I grinned, thinking maybe at least she’d side with me.
“They do. They’re called wives,” she snapped as she moved to the walk-in closet to pull out her Donna Karan weekender.
I frowned, realizing Avery had said the same thing.
When she returned from the closet, she already had it filled with clothes. “Now the bathroom.” She sucked in a deep breath, like this was painful and she was bracing herself. “Oh, I see she has already moved herself right in,” Marley muttered. I stayed in the bedroom, sitting on the bed. I saw no need for both of us to be stuffed in such close quarters. I could hear her puttering around in there for an inordinate amount of time. “You good?” I called out.
“Just fine,” she grumbled as she made her way back out to the bedroom. “Well, I guess this is goodbye.” She sighed. “And I will tell everyone it was my idea. Thanks.” Marley stared at me sadly and I suspected I was supposed to say something or look sad. I could do neither. “Alright then.” She passed me on her way to the door.
I followed her out and locked up behind her, a little surprised at how quietly this had gone down. Tugging at my chin, I wondered if I didn’t have Avery to thank for this. Maybe having her here kept Marley from making a big ugly scene. I grinned as I crept down the hall toward the nursery. My heart raced thinking about it. I have a daughter. She lives with me. And she has a nursery.
I peeked in the door and found Molly sucking on her bottle, her fingers wrapped around Avery’s. For a split second, my heart absolutely stopped beating. How had I made such a precious infant? How could Harlow not tell me? Fuck. How could Harlow dump her on my doorstep and abandon her? So many questions and yet, for now, Avery seemed to be the answer to many others. Without her, I had no idea how I’d manage. The idea of hiring a nanny had been talk. I couldn’t move some stranger in. I could barely stand the idea of sharing my place with a girlfriend, which was why Marley had never moved in and I’d never even given her a key. Only, I truly enjoyed having Avery around, even when she was in a mood. I studied them for a moment before I entered the room and squatted beside the upholstered rocking chair that was more like an arm chair on rockers.
“Hi,” I whispered then smiled at them. “You two ladies doing okay in here?”
“She’s almost done with her bottle. Then I’ll change her and lay her down to sleep in her crib,” Avery murmured with a grin. She eyed me a for a moment. “Everything okay out there?”
I chuckled. I knew what she meant. “We won’t be seeing any more of Marley,” I announced.
She inhaled deeply before asking the next logical question. “And how do you feel about that?”
“Hm.” I tapped my lip while I looked for an adequate slew of adjectives to appropriately express what was going on in my head. “Well, I’m relieved. I think I knew this wasn’t right for a while, but I didn’t have the impetus to change things. Now…I have Molly.” I rubbed my hand over her soft head. She had dark tufts of hair sticking out all over, which surprised me. “I thought the blonde would be dominant,” I commented absently as I stroked Molly’s hair.
“I guess not.” Avery mused, but I could tell she was thinking about it. “Anything else? No regrets? Nothing you’d like to do differently?”
I sucked on my bottom lip a moment while I stared into Avery’s bright green eyes. “Yeah. I’d not wait so long to get rid of Marley. I’d have been part of my daughter’s life for longer. I’d have given you a raise before now.” I stood and ran a hand over Avery’s hair. “I’d have paid more attention to…life around me.”
She smiled up at me and I saw her perfect white teeth. I frowned and her happiness immediately faded. “What is it? Do I have nori in my teeth?”
I shook my head. “No, but I’d throw out your toothbrush. Marley was in that bathroom a really long time, and I wouldn’t put it past her to dunk it in the toilet.”
She chuckled. “Nice tip. Thanks.”
6
Avery
* * *
“Avery,” Paxton whispered loudly, effectively startling me awake.
I opened my eyes to find him leaning over me in bed. I jumped and my hand hit the mahogany headboard, which made me wince. “Ow.” I checked to assess the damage. “This better be good,” I grumbled.
“Huh. I had you pegged for a morning person.” He tilted his head like he was suddenly seeing me differently.
“Seriously, I had you pegged for sane. It’s dark out.” I listened for a split second. “I don’t hear any crying.” I huffed. “What time is it and what gives?”
“Oh, it’s four in the morning.” He sank down on the bed beside me and I tried not to notice how his thigh was pressed against mine.
“Are you normally awake at four in the morning? And are you expecting me to be awake with you…because this is something you really should’ve disclosed when we were discussing my new position,” I grumbled as I sat up on the bed.
“No. No. Not usually.” Paxton grinned at me. “You’re remarkably coherent.”
“Yeah. You too. Is there a point here?” I narrowed my eyes and pulled the blanket up over my shoulder, prepared to roll over and go back to sleep.
He grinned. “Yeah. Tegyn and DeSean just had the baby. It’s a little girl. She named her Zara. Isn’t that a cool name?”
“Awesome. And…we’re up at four why?” I blinked a few times and waited for him to figure things out. When nothing happened, I remarked, “Do you think they’ll have visiting hours already?”
He frowned. “No, I guess not. I really didn’t think this through, did I?”
I smirked. “No, you didn’t, but that’s what you have me for.” I folded my hands behind my head. “So, what if we go back to bed, and then we can go and visit mid-morning? I’m pretty sure when my friend had her baby, they didn’t allow visitors until at least ten on the maternity floor.”
Instead of standing, Paxton sighed. “I’m having trouble sleeping on the couch. I’m too big.”
“I told you so,” I muttered. “I offered to sleep out there.”
“And it’s not comfortable. No one should have to sleep on it,” he grumbled. “I can’t believe you let me buy it.”
At this I sat up and glared at him. “Nope. You’re not pinning this on me. Marley liked it. And you liked Marley. I tried to talk you out of the couch. I sat on it. I laid on it. You made fun of me, as I recall.”
Paxton snickered. “You did give it a thorough test drive.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly aware that the without a bra on, my boobs were just dancing around uncontrollably under the t-shirt, not that he seemed to notice. “Well, you need to think these things through. I vetoed the couch. You bought it anyway and now you’re paying the price.” I threw myself back on the pillows. “So, I suppose you want your bed back?”
“Not exactly,” he mumbled. “I thought maybe you could just give me one side. I’ll even let you pick.”
I could actually feel all the color draining from my face. “How the hell am I supposed to sleep like that?” I groaned. Obviously, I had no filter in the middle of the night. “I mean…your bed, your rules. I’ll probably just go sleep on the couch anyway.” I started to get up when Paxton rested a hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t. Then I won’t be able to sleep because I’ll be filled with guilt.” He shook his head sadly. “Stay. I’ll be right here.” He pointed to the spot where I was lying.
My brow arched angrily. “I thought you said I got to choose,” I reminded him.
“Right. Yeah.” He rubbed the back o
f his neck. “I’m just used to sleeping on this side.” Paxton grinned. “If you sleep on that side, you can stare out over the city. It’s very relaxing. I’ll show you.” Then her reached down, scooped me up and relocated me to the far side of his king-size bed, then climbed in behind me. “See?” He gestured to the buildings and all the lights while pressed up against my back.
I could barely breathe. I couldn’t think. All I could do was feel his warmth, while inhaling his lingering scent of leather and yesterday’s cologne. “I hate you so much right now,” I muttered under my breath.
“Aw, you’ll feel better after you get more sleep. I just fed Molly before I woke you, so she should let us be until seven.”
I glanced over my shoulder at him and saw a grin. “That was really nice, but I still hate you.”
“Well, I can’t have that,” he teased. “Give it a few days and I’ll make you love me.”
I shook my head and buried it in the pillow. Paxton reached out and rubbed my back. “Just…stay on your side,” I urged. “And go to sleep.”
Though I would’ve sworn I’d never be able to fall back to sleep, I somehow managed. And when I woke minutes after seven to Molly’s cries through the baby monitor, I found Paxton had wrapped himself around me. I would’ve loved to linger and enjoy the unexpected surprise, but no doubt when he realized his mistake, he’d be mortified. The man simply didn’t understand I was completely drawn to him.
“Off,” I whispered as I tried to extricate myself from his arms. Instead, he held me tighter. “Let go, please.” I began to push him half-heartedly. “Please.”
Then, like that killer white in Jaws, he burst out of the covers, had me on my back and pressed his lips to mine. I could feel his erection pulsing against my side. His eyes were closed and I knew he had to be sleeping through this, but dammit, I had to get Molly and he’d made me humiliate myself enough for one twenty-four-hour period. I pushed harder.
