It was to be the first time that he had laid eyes on his old love since before he had left for Scotland with his dying father. He had heard not a word from her, not even a letter of plain apology for her behaviour towards him. In truth, had Emmeline not agreed to their courtship, he would not have attended the summer ball. He was not yet sure that he could be, or at least appear to be, unaffected by Felicity.
Hunter had the greatest concerns regarding his own reaction when he finally laid eyes upon her beautiful face once more. Whilst he felt sure that she would not approach him, and that her husband, the Duke, would be keen to keep away from him for most of the evening, he knew that a sighting of her could not be avoided. At least if he had Emmeline by his side, he would have some other distraction. She would be for him what he had been for her when she had been forced to publicly suffer the sight of the man she loved with another.
“I must say, I think Mr Calloway very pleasant indeed.” Mercifully, Emmeline broke his train of thought as they, along with her mother and sister, made their way in his carriage to Croston Hall.
“Yes, I have met him on a couple of occasions and find him very friendly,” Hunter agreed.
“Yes, he has an ease of manner which I think is quite contagious.” She nodded.
When he had stopped outside Tarlton Manor in the carriage to collect the ladies, Hunter had already been extremely distracted by thoughts of what he would have to endure in the evening to come. He had been trying to strike thoughts of Felicity from his mind for hours beforehand but had not been able to.
However, when Emmeline Fitzgerald had walked down the steps from the Manor House, Hunter was pleased to find himself greatly distracted. She was wearing a simple ivory gown which fit her very well. It had short sleeves, and she wore long white gloves. It seemed to make her chocolate brown hair seem all the deeper in hue, and it shone in the fading light of the summer evening. Her hair had been put up very nicely with a plain, jeweled clip. Soft ringlets hung about her face and neck and nestled around her shoulders.
She had smiled at him demurely and, as he had helped her into the carriage, he tried to avoid looking into her eyes. He had done so at Addison Hall when the two of them had looked out of the window and regarded the lake. It was the first time that he had noticed their colour, and he had been quite taken with them. Her eyes were a very pale blue and her pupils large and dark. The effect was that her eyes, when looked into properly, gave her a curiously ethereal look, almost as if she were not of this world.
It had affected him for a moment and caused him to hurriedly ask if she would care for a walk by the lake. She was attractive to him, of course, but he knew he must avoid any of the finer feelings that could lead him back down the old path. At all costs, he must keep to his original plan.
He was glad of the company of the three women all the way to Croston Hall. They chattered happily, and he was struck by the closeness of their relationship and the ease of their conversation. There was clearly a great care between the three of them, and he thought that a very good thing. After all, Emmeline would no doubt settle in very well at Addison Hall having been assured of the company of her mother and sister whenever she wanted it. He could not help thinking that the three of them being so very close would make the whole thing work so much more seamlessly in the end.
When they finally arrived at Croston Hall, Hunter hurriedly jumped down from the carriage and helped the ladies out. As they approached the great entrance, he could see that Giles Calloway was standing ready to greet them, smiling broadly.
“Lord Addison, how very pleased I am that you could attend this evening,” he said warmly. “And Mrs Fitzgerald and her lovely daughters, what a treat.”
“How very kind of you, Mr Calloway,” Emmeline said and graciously inclined her head.
“Well, I hope you have all come here ready to dance this evening. I must admit, I do love the amusement myself, and I shall be on the lookout for partners, so do bear me in mind,” he said and smiled at all three Fitzgerald women.
“Of course, Mr Calloway,” Emmeline answered and spoke in as amiable manner as their host. “I shall look forward to it.”
As he watched her, Hunter could not help thinking that she would make a very fine Countess indeed. She had a grace and ease of manner that would make her very popular in the county as his wife.
With a certain amount of pleasure, Hunter held out his arm for Emmeline to take as they made their way into the ballroom with her mother and sister hand-in-hand behind them. Perhaps, if he could just concentrate on Emmeline, he would be able to get through the evening.
However, the moment they walked into the ballroom, despite the fact that it was already well populated, his eyes flew immediately to the light, bright blonde hair of Felicity. Her hair was so fine that it was quite unlike any other shade of blonde, and he had often teased her that she must be some manner of Nordic princess.
But the memory of happier times almost floored him, and he shut his eyes tightly for a moment in the hope that, when he opened them again, she would be gone. But she was not; when he opened his eyes, not only was Felicity still there, but she had turned to look at him.
“I say, Mr Calloway has gone to a great deal of trouble with the food, Lord Addison,” Emmeline said, and it was clear from her tone that she was trying to distract him.
He had told her most honestly beforehand that Felicity and the Duke were to be in attendance. She had taken the news with extraordinary calm and seemed as keen to help him through it all as he had been to help her. In the end, he was glad of his honesty as it would not have done for a moment to have Emmeline surprised by Felicity’s presence, even if there was no attraction love between the two of them. She valued honesty, and she had told him as much.
“He most certainly has.” With a great effort, he turned his back upon Felicity and regarded Emmeline fully. “And I see that some people are already eating. Perhaps we should find a table and make ourselves comfortable before the food has gone altogether.” He laughed but knew that he was forcing it.
Even though Felicity had been clean across the room, many yards away from him, he felt almost as if she were by his side, her warm breath on his neck as it had been in so many an embrace in their time together. He felt haunted and unequal to the task of making his way through the evening from one end to the other with the sort of dignity that Emmeline Fitzgerald had shown in the face of much greater adversity.
“I shall follow your lead, Lord Addison,” Emmeline said brightly, and he knew that she was equally forced in her demeanour.
They had managed the evening as best they could, and he had stood up to dance with Emmeline more than the customary twice. Emmeline was a good dancer, very graceful, and she had done her best to chatter to him throughout, trying to keep him distracted as he had done for her at Ashton House.
However, for one of the dances, they had found themselves in a group with the Duke and Duchess of Galcross, and he realized immediately that there was nothing he could do about it. Even though some weeks had passed, and Felicity and the Duke were now very much out and about in society, it was clear that people were not quite used to the changes just yet. He knew that people were regarding him a little more closely than ordinarily they might, if only to see his reaction. Of course, it was nothing like as extreme as the experience had been for Emmeline, and he knew it. However, he was being regarded closely enough that he could not turn away from the dance now for fear that he would embarrass not only himself but Emmeline also.
As they danced, it was necessary for Hunter and Felicity to cross more than once. On the first occasion, he had fixed his stare, looking at a point a little over her shoulder and to the left, so as he did not have to look into her face. If he stared into those bright, shining blue eyes, he did not know how he would react.
And as for the Duke, he had regarded him only surreptitiously. Although the man was but eight years older than Hunter, at forty, he thought the Duke had not fared very well. The years had not
been kind to him, and it looked likely that the rumours of his overindulgence in strong liquor were well-founded. He had a certain redness to his cheeks that spoke a little more of drink than the warmth of a summer’s evening.
When it came time to cross Felicity once more in the dance, Hunter had quite forgotten his resolve not to look at her. As he looked into her face, she was looking intently back, and he felt sure he saw a little regret there. Perhaps even a little pain. Although he kept his own expression flat, his heart was pounding in his chest like a runaway carriage, so much so that he wondered that she could not hear it.
When the dance had finally come to an end, there was not a dancer more relieved than Hunter Bentley. With a fixed smile, he turned from the group and held his arm out to Emmeline.
“You managed very well indeed, Lord Addison, really you did. I can only hope that it will get easier for you from here onwards,” Emmeline said with a warm smile.
“I cannot thank you enough,” he said and heard the desolation in his voice. “I could not have managed it had you not been there, Miss Fitzgerald. Really, had it not been for you, I should have simply turned and walked away. You have spared me such an indignity, and I shall not forget it.”
“I have only spared you as you spared me, Sir.” She was still smiling warmly, and he thought that, in the end, the two of them would be great friends.
As they made their way back to their seats, he could not help casting a final look back at Felicity. And when he did so, he could see a look of pain on her face. She had watched him and Emmeline talk closely, and it had affected her and affected her badly. She was struggling to hide her feelings, and something about her look of sadness almost made him crumble on the spot.
Hunter wanted to race across the room to her, to cover the distance between them and take her in his arms. He wanted to tell her that he would forgive her and that everything would be alright in the end. He still loved her, and he wondered if he always would.
“You both danced that one very well indeed,” Constance Fitzgerald said, smiling brightly and distracting him once more.
“Thank you kindly, Mrs Fitzgerald,” Hunter said and forced himself to smile and bow amiably.
Chapter 11
“You do remember that Kent Fitzgerald is coming this afternoon, do you not?” Her mother found her in the morning room some days later, absentmindedly trying to arrange some flowers. “Goodness me, what are you trying to do with those?” Constance laughed.
“I daresay I am a little distracted, Mama.” She looked at the vase and the blooms of disastrously varying lengths and laughed also. “Oh dear, I do not know whether to begin again or abandon the entire endeavour. Although I dare not ask the gardener for more flowers; really, I had enough trouble getting these.”
“I am not surprised, my dear. I can hardly imagine you had the courage to ask him for roses.”
“I know; I asked him quite absently. Ordinarily, I would not have dared, I can assure you.” She laughed again.
“Tell me, what is it that bothers you?”
“Nothing, nothing at all, Mama.” She smiled brightly although she knew she was not being entirely honest.
But, in truth, she could hardly get to the bottom of why she felt a little unsettled. It was as if she were making her way through her day adequately, but just a little out of step with her own body. It was almost as if she was behind in some way, just by a fraction of a second, but behind nonetheless.
“Emmeline, you cannot hide it from me, my dear. I am your mother, and if I say there is something wrong, there is something wrong. Now, what is it?” Constance came into the room fully and settled down on the pale blue velvet couch.
“If I am honest, Mama, I have been trying to get to the bottom of it myself and isolate the thing which troubles me.”
“But might I venture that it has much to do with Hunter Bentley, Emmeline?”
“Oh yes, I think it probably does.”
“If you have any second thoughts on the matter, you must not go through with it. If he has displeased you in some way, then you must say so. What I said to you at the beginning of all this still stands, Emmeline. I would not see you sacrificed to save Rose and me, and whatever agreement you might have made with the Earl of Addison, I would have you break it this minute if you had a grave concern.”
“In truth, he has done nothing which displeases me, Mama.” Emmeline shrugged extensively. “In fact, he has fine manners and a pleasing nature. And he is so keen to help us and ensure that we are still kept close as a family even after I am married. How could I ask for anything more than that, really?”
“Perhaps, given the opportunity, you would ask for love?” Constance spoke cautiously and even winced a little at her own question.
“No, I do not think that at all. When I think of love, I think of Christopher, and when I think of Christopher, I think of how he hurt me. I cannot think of love without thinking also of betrayal, and I would never, ever wish to do that to myself again.”
“So, you do not think you could ever love the Earl?”
“I do not think I ought to try, Mama. After all, that is the point of it all, is it not? The Earl and I have an understanding between us that those are the very feelings that we would each seek to avoid in our own futures. I have not even considered whether there would ever be that sort of love between us. And yet we have become very friendly, and I think that as the years go by, I shall be grateful for that friendship. But I do not think we would have that friendship if we did not have the honesty which exists between us. It has made our relationship quite unique, and I am coming to see that it has made it something that most people do not have the luxury of experiencing.”
“But just imagine that level of honesty if it were coupled with love.” Constance was clearly not keen to give up on the idea.
“Mama, you are an incurable romantic, and that is all.” Emmeline laughed and lifted the ill-matched assortment of blooms out of the vase and dumped them onto the small table at which she sat, splashing water everywhere. “Right, I must at least try to get them to a similar length,” she said and began to line the blooms up before setting about them with the scissors once more.
“I am a little bit of a romantic, it is true. But really, deep down, I should not like you to come to regret this decision in years to come. I should not like you to wake up one day and realize that you had missed out. I know that love is a painful thing at times, especially when it ends the way that your love for Christopher did. But it is also a wonderful thing, indescribably wonderful, and just because it did not work once, does not mean that it might not work again in the future.”
“I must assure you, Mama, that not only am I quite determined to see this through, but I am very content to. But I do understand what you are saying, and I am very grateful for your care of me. It really does mean a great deal, so much, in fact, that I could not begin to tell you about it.” She smiled and was warmed and amused to see her mother’s eyes shining with emotion. “Oh, Mama!” she said, and they both laughed.
Constance crossed the room to join her daughter and, between them, they began to work at the vase of flowers to see if they could be saved.
Emmeline was sure that it was not the idea that she would live without love that was upsetting her. She had not changed her opinion in any way and had no concerns about a future marriage to the Earl of Addison. She liked him well enough and thought that the two of them would make a very good pair.
If she thought about it, it was his reaction to the Duchess of Galcross which had very likely upset her equilibrium just a little. He had been very honest with her throughout and told her that the Duke and Duchess would be at the summer ball. She had been very grateful for that honesty and thought she would not have liked to have come face-to-face with the woman without prior warning.
And, in the end, they had not come face-to-face at all, although she had been very aware that the lady had stared at her most intently whenever she thought Emmeline was not aw
are.
Emmeline had been somewhat uncomfortable, not having been so closely and determinedly regarded by anybody since the night of her humiliation at Ashton House. It had grated on her nerves a little and, at one point, she had to stop herself from turning around and staring back at the lady, so much had she wanted to let her know that she had perceived her curiosity and wished her to stop.
But, of course, it would not have done anything to help Hunter Bentley. And, after all, she felt duty-bound to do whatever she needed to do to help him navigate the very choppy seas of that particular social engagement. Emmeline would never, as long as she lived, forget what he had done for her those short weeks ago when she had suffered.
Emmeline had felt great sadness to see how he struggled with the dancing. He had fought not to look directly at Felicity when they had crossed in the dance, and she had seen it most distinctly. How he must have been suffering at that moment. But she felt sure, given time, that they would both heal. It was very early days, and their feelings of betrayal were still raw and ever present.
If she was honest, she had been quite well-prepared for the idea that Hunter would have to fight his way from one end of the evening to the other. She had known that he would look upon the woman he had loved so dearly and be obviously affected by her. But what she had not been prepared for was the curious reaction of the Duchess.
When they had walked away from the dancing, arm in arm, Emmeline had seen the Duchess looking at them with such intensity that she had been forced to let her eyes flick in her direction and regard her quickly. And what she saw had almost stopped her in her tracks; there was such a look on the Duchess’ face that Emmeline could hardly pick through the emotions of it all. Initially, she looked envious, and Emmeline thought that quite natural for a woman who saw her old love with another, even if he was only in such company because of her own actions. But as she studied her a little more closely, Emmeline could see such great sadness there, so much regret, that she had almost exclaimed. She had almost pitied the woman for what she could see in her eyes.
A Bride for the Betrayed Earl Page 8
