“I know. I understand why the navy has been your dream. I get why you have to do this for you. Know that I’ll be here waiting for you.” As I say the last words, Thomas dips his head and presses his lips to mine, sucking my lower lip. He brushes his tongue along the opening of my mouth and our tongues meet and dance, erotically caressing each other. He presses his groin between my thighs and I can feel my inner thighs pulsating with need.
“Thomas, please,” I beg.
“You are so sweet, Halo. You taste like a forbidden fruit but…”
“Don’t do this to me please, I need you…” I beg.
“I know, baby… I know, I just…”
“Thomas, you are all I need. Please believe me.” I want to finally penetrate the wall he has built around himself. The wall that makes him feel unworthy, the wall that obscures his judgment.
He lets out a loud growl. “I may not deserve you, but I am making you mine. I am going to brand you so that even if you figure out the truth it will only be me you think of.”
He lifts my sundress over my head. I’m glad we came to this secluded place and not our regular spot on the lakefront. With urgency he unclips my bra and I arch my back, pressing my already taut nipples against his warm body. His mouth closes over my nipple. A strangled moan escapes my lips as I grip the back of his hair, tugging and pushing him closer to me. With his other hand, he tantalizes my other nipple.
I am all sensation and lust. In one swift movement, I remove his black T-shirt and throw it behind us into the grass. I run my hands over his pectorals and down his rock-solid abdomen. His body is firm and hot under my touch. My fingertips skim the front of his jeans and I feel his long, hard girth through the denim. I’d rubbed him with my hand before, and I’d even used my mouth on him, so I know how large and thick he is. Despite my nerves, I need him inside me so bad.
“You are my saving grace, Halo,” he whispers as he kisses his way down my abdomen.
I don’t have any sexy lingerie, so when he makes his way to my panties and shoves his nose between my legs, inhaling and growling, I almost lose it. He has this special way of making me feel sexy. His hands are big and rough-skinned from work. I love the way his roughness meshes with my soft skin. He presses his palm against my inner thighs and slides a finger inside me while he lowers my panties with his other hand. “You are so pure and perfect. Thank you for this gift.” I let out a loud moan as his finger explores me. Thomas’s expression is heated and his cheeks look flushed.
He withdraws his finger and the loss of his touch is agony. He slips his finger into his mouth, tasting me. “So sweet.”
He lowers himself, dipping his head between my thighs. His tongue slowly licks my clit. I’m seeing rainbows, beautiful rainbows. My body is bowing to his hot tongue as it runs up and down my folds. He moves with such grace I know I will be coming apart at the seams in moments.
“Thomas, please.” I’m overcome with lust. This night, this place is perfectly romantic. The water sparkles from the moonlight. The sky is clear and the air is fresh. There isn’t a soul in sight which is good. The trees are close together and I don’t know who in their right mind would venture in here at night. Thomas assured me I was safe and I feel safe with him. My orgasm is so close that any coherence leaves my thoughts.
“Scream, baby. I want to hear you scream my name.”
“Oh, Thomas! Oh, oh, oh.” I moan loudly as the strongest orgasm I’ve ever had rips through me. I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience. My body tingles from the tips of my fingers to the tips of my toes. I’m elated. When I finally come back down to earth, Thomas is wearing a big grin, clearly proud of himself.
He slowly moves up my body and places a soft kiss on my lips. At first I’m taken aback at the taste of my arousal on his mouth.
“You see how sweet you are, Halo? You have no idea what you do to me.”
I lower my hand to undo his jeans. I shove down his pants and boxers, caressing his ass along the way.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks as his nose glides across my neck.
“Yes. And now, Thomas Wells. You better make love to me.”
He chuckles. “Aren’t you insatiable, little miss Halo Pearson?”
“Only for you, Thomas.” I sigh and that’s all he needs for permission to reach over to his jeans and pull out a condom.
“I’m guessing you’re not on birth control,” he says shyly.
“No.” I shake my head.
He rolls the condom over his cock, then reaches between my legs to circle my clit with his thumb. “I’m just going to make sure you’re wet all over. It will make it easier for me to enter you.”
My body responds to him instantly. I can’t get enough of him or the idea that in a moment he’ll be inside me.
“I love you and I want you to know how much you mean to me. I’m not a virgin, but I’ve never felt this way before. The girls in my past meant nothing. With you, I want this to last forever. I don’t think I can ever let you go.” His voice almost sounds sad.
“I don’t want you to let me go,” I tell him. “I can’t see my life without you in it.”
“I don’t want to make you promises I can’t keep. I don’t know about marriages and happily ever after. I don’t know what they look like or what I am supposed to do to get there.”
“I think you’re wrong about that. You may have had shitty parents but you always do nice things for me. I know my parents have been giving me a hard time lately but they’ve always been good to me and they’ve always loved each other. I know what happily ever after looks like and I want it with you.” I press a kiss to his lips. His eyes close and our kiss continues. Thomas is in pain and so I’m in pain too.
“Let me love you,” I say against his lips “Let me love you like you love me.”
“You don’t know how badly I want that, Halo.” In this moment I understand that Thomas Wells has never been loved in his life. His mother left him and his father is cruel. Yet I can feel Thomas’s love for me radiating off him in the most intense way. My heart is melting and reforming around his. In this moment we were melded together and in this moment I know our love will last an eternity.
“This is me and you, Thomas. Me and you forever.”
“Yes, baby. Me and you forever,” he confirms as the head of his cock meets my folds. I’m not scared. I know there may be some pain, but this is more than sex. It’s me and Thomas joining ourselves forever and always. He uses his cock to rub my clit gently and my breath quickens.
“Please,” I breathe out.
He slowly enters me and I feel myself stretching as he fills me. He goes slowly at first. “I love you, baby,” he whispers, placing a soft kiss on my lips. At first he watches me closely, ensuring I’m okay. Then I feel my hips moving in rhythm to his thrusts and his eyes close and his face flushes. “You feel so good, so tight,” he groans at the back of his throat. “I don’t think I can hold on.”
“Don’t hold on. Let go, baby. This is me and you.” And he lets go, picking up his rhythm. It’s bittersweet pain and sensual lust mixed into love. He’s grunting and I love how he’s coming undone despite the fact I’m fighting through the pain.
“Are you okay?” he asks, likely sensing my discomfort. “We can stop,” he offers.
“No. Don’t even think it. I was expecting it to hurt the first time.”
He moves slowly, controlling his movements.
“Please,” I say. “I want you to let go. The pain isn’t so bad. A few more times and I know I’ll be enjoying this.”
“I’ll definitely make sure you enjoy this the next time. I can’t hold on, though. Being inside you. You’re so tight. So warm….” His words trail off and I feel him stiffen inside me. He’s hot as hell when he comes undone.
I don’t come, but I feel content. I just found the other half of myself. We’re a whole now. I know these moments are rare and real for him.
He pulls out of me slowly so the condom won’t slip off. H
e rolls to my side, panting. I place my head on his chest and listen to the beat of his heart, his chest rising and falling with each breath. He is completely a part of me now. As much as the thought scares me that he will soon leave, it also warms me to know he’s promised to always come back.
I know I’m setting myself up for heartache—I don’t have a choice. I didn’t choose to love Thomas. It just is what it is. He owns my whole heart. I may be too young to understand what love is. But I know my own feelings. And Thomas Wells owns every part of me.
***
About two weeks later
September 2, 2000
“Halo, where are you going?” my mother asks as she comes down the stairs. She looks beautiful with her auburn hair blown pin-straight. She’s wearing a short-sleeve, cream blouse and a black skirt. She looks fit and great for her age.
It’s my parents’ anniversary tonight. My father is supposed to be back from the hospital soon to take her for a nice dinner to celebrate thirty years of marriage.
“Thomas is picking me up,” I tell her. “You look beautiful, Mom.” I smile and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Happy anniversary.”
“Thanks, Halo. I wanted to talk to you for a minute,” she says with a hint of an apology. I roll my eyes. Of course this will be about Thomas.
“Honey, I was speaking to Mary Lou this week. She asked me if I knew that Thomas was arrested last week. I told her I had no idea and then she said, ‘Oh well I know Halo hangs around that Wells boy all the time and I was wondering if you knew what happened’.” As she repeats Mary Lou’s words, her voice morphs from pleasant to angry.
“He wasn’t arrested. He was brought in for questioning.” My defenses are going up fast. “He had nothing to do with it. His friends got arrested and the police thought he was involved but he wasn’t involved. He was with me at the time of the robbery.” I hope my exasperation doesn’t show in my voice. I lied for Thomas. I knew it was wrong and illegal, but he would have never gotten involved to begin with if my parents hadn’t made him feel like he wasn’t good enough.
“So now you are providing that boy with alibis? Is this the type of daughter I’ve raised?” She tilts her head as she looks down on me. I hate that look.
“Mom, I didn’t provide him with anything. It was true. We were by the lake that evening.” It was the best night of my life. Of course I remembered it.
Do I feel guilty about lying to my mom? I did. There were no ifs, ands or buts about it. I also felt that she was the one who had put my back to the wall when she didn’t include Thomas in the family celebration of my birthday. The lie was therefore justified.
“What is that supposed to mean? Did you sleep with that boy, Halo? Because boys like him are only interested in one thing and once you give it to them they are gone.” Her voice has gone shaky. There was definitely someone from her past who had hurt her. Too bad she had to compare this no-name to Thomas. “Besides,” she says, “he obviously hangs around kids who are trouble.”
A part of her statement was true. I knew some of the people Thomas knew were bad news. What my mom didn’t understand was how far Thomas had come considering his circumstances.
“Mom, Thomas is not like that. He is wonderful and amazing and I wish you would give him a chance. I love him and I don’t plan on breaking up with him. Thomas is smart. He wants to enlist in the navy…” I pause because it doesn’t seem like she’s even listening to me.
She looks worried and exasperated. Her gaze meets mine. “You’ve slept with him,” she says with a wounded voice. It’s not a question.
I sigh, hating how she has turned something beautiful in my eyes to something ugly in hers. “Yes,” I answer. I am seventeen years old. I shouldn’t have to explain this to my mother or feel bad about loving somebody. Suddenly my annoyance turns to anger. I will not give her the power of making my relationship with Thomas something bad or dirty.
“This is all bullshit, honestly,” I tell her. “You brought me here from LA. Thomas Wells is the first thing here for me that’s felt right and good. And yes I love him. I shouldn’t have to feel bad about that,” I holler while my mother looks back at me with wide brown eyes. It’s as if she’s looking at a stranger.
“You listen here…” She points a finger at my face. “I warned you, Halo. Your father and I will never accept him and he will only end up breaking your heart.” I wince at the sound of her shrill voice.
I hear Thomas’s motorcycle pull up to the house. I turn to the door and look back at my mother. “I’m leaving. If you can’t accept Thomas then you don’t accept me.” I put on my new black leather boots and slam the door behind me, feeling enraged as I stomp toward the motorcycle. Thomas pulls off his helmet. He stares at me warily before he passes me the helmet.
His brows are furrowed as he asks, “What’s going on? You look pissed.”
“Let’s go,” I answer. I’ve never spoken to my mom like that before and I feel shaky.
I try to clear my mind as we drive to the lake. Even though it’s early evening, the air is hot and humid. We park near Rogers Beach and as we walk down the sidewalk, I regret that I didn’t put on a bathing suit under my shorts and top. The lake looks calm and refreshing and I’m tempted to jump in.
“It’s a pretty hot day do you want to find a place in the shade?” Thomas asks. He takes his saddlebag and places it on his shoulder.
“Yeah, that’s perfect. I’m not wearing a bathing suit anyway,” I answer with a monotone voice.
He throws his arm over my shoulder. “Talk to me, Halo. What happened?”
“I don’t think you want to hear it.” We find a spot to sit in the grassy part of the park beneath some trees. Thomas takes off his black T-shirt and, although the view of his broad chest and muscular abs is nice, it reminds of me of other things I don’t want to think about. He’s been training hard lately and I know he’ll be leaving for boot camp soon.
“I had another fight with my mom. She heard about the arrest. I told her you weren’t involved, but I don’t know if she’ll ever accept you.”
The muscle along his jaw pulses. “Halo, your mom is right. You are smart and beautiful you could do a lot better than me.”
“Cut it out, Thomas. You know I only want you.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t understand. What I’m saying is that even though I know you can do better, I love you and I’m not letting you go. I’m gonna make something of myself and then you’ll be honored to take my name.” He says this while looking me square in the eye. His blue eyes are so deep. The honesty in them makes my stomach flutter.
I brush my hand along his jaw, wanting to ease his tension “Why, Thomas, if I didn’t know better I would think that was a proposal.” I blink my eyes and bat my eyelashes at him, teasing him.
He doesn’t smile, though. He seems dead serious when he says, “I kept telling myself not to sleep with you because you deserved better. But you gave yourself willingly. With love. You’re mine now and I will never let you go. I’m going to prove your parents wrong. I have a plan. I’m going to be a success with the SEALs. I’m thinking I should talk to your parents about our future. I’m not giving you up so I need to convince them I am not a bad guy and that my intentions toward you are pure.”
“I love that idea. But it’s their anniversary tonight. My mom was upset over the way I left. I think it would be better to wait until they’re a little more chill.”
“Okay.” He rubs at the back of his neck. I put my arms around him, drawing him down so I can kiss his lips.
“I don’t know how I will get by every day without seeing you. I miss you when we separate at night,” I admit, pulling my gaze from him. He slides his thumb across my chin. I caress the back of his head and his neck.
“I hate being away from you too, baby, but I have to do this. You know how important it is for me, for us. I’ll always come back to you. You’re my halo and I will be able to find you even in the dark.” He grins and covers my mouth with his. Hi
s lips are warm and I love the taste of him. Touching him sets my entire body on fire. We’ve managed to have sex a few times since my birthday. I’ve snuck him into my bedroom when my parents have been out and it only gets better. He groans into my mouth.
“I can’t get you naked here so we better stop,” he says as he runs his hand along my behind and slides his finger into my shorts.” He groans again. “You completely undo me, Halo. I don’t know what it is about you but from the moment I saw you it was like gravity pulling me toward you. I know I’m selfish for wanting you because you make me feel so good…” I put my finger to his lips to hush him.
“You’re amazing, Thomas Wells, and I’m the lucky one,” I reply placing a soft kiss on his lips. His brows draw together and his forehead creases despite the fact that he’s kissing me. It’s hard for him to believe my words. It breaks my heart because he’s such a good and loving person that’s working hard for a better life. He doesn’t deserve to feel this way. In attempt to pull him out of his own darkness as his eyes close and he leans forward to kiss me I pull away and stand up quietly. He falls into the air and opens his eyes. I stand quickly and kick off my boots. “Last one in is the king of the world!” I yell as I head straight for the beach and the water. I know I probably won’t make it into the water before him. But it’s hot and I need to cool down.
“You aren’t wearing a bathing suit,” he hollers, but I’m already kicking up sand on my way to the cool lake water. The water hits my hot body with a shock and I gasp with joy.
I look back to the grass. Thomas is shaking his head while kicking off his biker boots. Then he comes running to me. I watch as every muscle and sinew in his body flexes beautifully. He’s beautiful and kind. I love him so much.
Halo Page 7
