You Only Love Twice

by Lori Wilde

  Treeni stood in front of Cosmo’s desk, her duty weapon clutched in her hand. She pointed it straight at his heart. “Hang up the phone.”

  Stunned, Cosmo broke his connection with Marlie.

  “Who were you talking to?” Treeni demanded as Cosmo raised his hands in the air and kept his eyes trained on the gun. He knew Treeni was an expert markswoman. If she wanted to shoot him, then he was dead.

  “My friend, Marlie Montague.”

  “Dammit, Cosmo,” she said through gritted teeth, “I thought I could trust you.” She racked the Glock.

  Sweat popped out on his forehead and a hard bullet of fear lodged in his throat. “Wait, wait, it’s not what you think.”

  She narrowed her eyes. God, she was both gorgeous and deadly. In fact, her willingness to do whatever needed to be done, no matter what the consequences, was an incredible turn-on.

  “I translated your father’s journal. You’re not going to believe what I found out.”

  “I already know,” Treeni said. “I just needed proof. What I wanted from you was to find out where he’d sent Joel.”

  She’d claimed she didn’t have any lingering feelings for her ex-husband, but the look on her face told Cosmo that wasn’t entirely true. His gut roiled. She’d been using him, just as he’d feared. How stupid of him to believe a woman like Treeni could ever be interested in a guy like him without an ulterior motive.

  What a fool you are, Villereal.

  “Where did my father send him?” Treeni repeated.

  “That’s just it. Your father didn’t send Joel anywhere.”

  “Then who did?”

  “I don’t know, but your father is being investigated by NCIS, and your ex-husband is involved.”

  “So where is Joel?”

  “In Corpus Christi. Spying on my friend Marlie Montague for NCIS. I don’t know what’s going on down there, but it’s got something to do with your father.” He shook his head. “And here I always thought Marlie was off her beam with her conspiracy theories. It’s looking like I owe her a huge apology.”

  “It’s about the Mohawk missiles,” Treeni said and slowly lowered her weapon.

  Cosmo trod across the room, wrenched the gun from Treeni’s hand, and roughly squeezed her upper arm. “Tell me everything you know. And I swear to God, if you lie to me . . .”

  He let his words trail off. He couldn’t threaten Treeni’s life; he cared about her too much, and it didn’t matter if she didn’t care about him, but he had to let her know he meant business. “What’s the real reason you wanted me to find your ex-husband?”

  He didn’t intimidate her. He figured nothing much intimidated Treeni Delaney.

  “I’ll tell you,” she said, attempting to wrench away from him. “But not because you’re going all macho on me.”

  “Dammit, if anything happens to Marlie, there will be retribution.” He pressed his fingers harder into her flesh. “Someone’s going to have to pay.”

  “You’re in love with her, aren’t you,” Treeni said coolly, as if she didn’t care, but Cosmo could have sworn he saw a flicker of jealousy in her eyes.

  “I love Marlie, yes. But not in the way you think. She’s like a sister to me.”

  “She’s not your lover?” Treeni sounded hopeful.

  He was going to lay his cards on the table. He had nothing to lose. “Once upon a time I thought I was in love with her, but that was before I met you and realized the difference between affection and real passion.”

  “Yeah?” Treeni grinned.

  “Yeah.”

  “For me it was the opposite. I was well acquainted with lust, but with you, Cosmo . . .” She paused and trailed her fingers over his face. “I’m envious of your loyalty to your friend. No one’s ever shown me that kind of loyalty.”

  “Not even your ex-husband?”

  She shook her head. “I never gave him the chance. Poor Joel was just a pawn in my pathetic attempt to get my father’s attention. How stupid I was.”

  “Don’t envy Marlie.” Cosmo pulled Treeni close to his chest. “I’ll always love her, but my feelings for her will never rival my feelings for you.”

  “Honest?”

  He kissed her then, rough and demanding.

  Treeni liked it. She threw back her head, exposed her throat to him. He nibbled her skin for a moment, burning kisses along her pale, swanlike neck, but then he forced himself to stop. “As much as I’d love to make love to you again, Treeni, there’s no time. If the things in your father’s log are true, we’re all in serious trouble.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Marlie couldn’t believe it. She refused to believe it. Cosmo had to be wrong. Joel couldn’t have betrayed her. She’d let herself love him. How could she have let herself love a liar and a spy?

  Proof. She had to have proof before she could swallow the whole horrible story.

  Check his pockets, Angelina said.

  Joel’s pants lay on the floor. If he was an NCIS agent, he would have some kind of identification, a badge, handcuffs.

  She tried not to notice how good he looked in the predawn light shining through the window, but it was like ignoring a Rembrandt. The beard stubble at his jaw was heavier now, darker, making him look doubly sexy. In spite of the dark circles ringing his eyes, he looked strong and resilient and breathtakingly handsome. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him. He was that compelling. That masculine. That alive. He was everything she had ever wanted but had been too afraid to wish for.

  And then she had finally dared to let go, to trust him, and he’d ruined her.

  Marlie shuffled across the room, slow and tentative, as if she’d been drugged, afraid to look, afraid to have the truth confirmed, afraid to have her worst fears about Joel verified.

  Sweat trickled down her neck even though the room was cold, unheated. She moved across the floor, praying her knees would not give way. She reached his pants and bent to pick them up. Fingers slick with perspiration, she felt in his back pockets.

  She found the handcuffs first.

  They slipped from her hands, jangling as they hit the floor. Marlie whipped her head around to see if Joel had awakened but he slept on, oblivious to her discovery, still peaceful in the knowledge that he’d successfully deceived her.

  The pain of his betrayal was intolerable.

  She’d known better than to trust, but bit by bit he’d chipped away at her defenses and she’d stupidly allowed herself to be tricked.

  Leaving the handcuffs on the floor for now, she pulled out his wallet and then his badge. She flipped it open. NCIS Special Agent Joel Jerome Hunter.

  Joel Jerome.

  J. J.

  The boy she’d loved as a child all grown up into a manipulative, dishonest Navy cop.

  She wondered if anything he’d told her had been true. Had everything been a lie? Did he even have an ex-wife? Had he ever been to Iraq? Or was it all made up simply to gain her confidence?

  Anger popped like expanding bubbles to the surface of her mind. She wanted to hurt him as much as he’d hurt her. She wanted revenge. A distant rage made a sound like white noise in her head.

  Marlie did not stop to think. She simply acted. She reached down, picked up the handcuffs, and stalked over to the bed.

  Joel opened his eyes then and looked up at her, smiling a goofy, carefree smile that broke her heart. “’Mornin’, Ladybug.”

  Fury consumed her. She clamped one cuff around his wrist and the other to the bed.

  “Marlie?” He sat up, hair mussed, face bearing the imprint of a creased sheet. “What’s wrong?”

  “What do you think?” she said, her tone pure glacier.

  He looked at the handcuff and she could see from the expression on his face that he was trying to figure out what to say next.

  “You went through my pants?”

  “Oh, no.” Rage shook her like a sapling in a storm. “Don’t you dare take that tactic. You’re not turning this around on me. Be a man. Own what you’ve don
e, Special Agent Hunter.” Marlie spat out his name as if it were a foul taste in her mouth.

  “Marlie, wait. Unhandcuff me. Let’s talk about this.”

  She shook her head, unable to speak to him. Without another word, she turned and strode out of the room.

  This was not exactly how Joel had imagined things would play out the morning after their first night of lovemaking.

  What did you think, Numb Nuts? That she would plant a big ol’ smooch on you for deceiving her?

  Frustrated, Joel jerked on the handcuff. It clattered noisily against the metal bed frame. Did she have to put the thing on so damn tight?

  Hell hath no fury like a woman whose trust has been betrayed.

  He understood her feelings of violation. He’d misled her. From the very beginning of this assignment, he’d hated lying to her. He just hadn’t expected his actions to have such repercussions. He’d never expected to start liking her so much.

  Never expected to love her.

  But if she thought he was just going to lie here and take this, then she was sadly misguided. He tried to chuff himself up on anger, reaching for the only strong emotion he ever really allowed himself to feel with any regularity, but he couldn’t seem to dredge up the energy.

  He’d tried so hard to shore up the weak places in his soul. Fought to block the tenderness. That was probably why he’d hooked up with Treeni. She was the first woman he’d ever met who was more emotionally shut down than he was.

  And Marlie was the opposite.

  She was full of feeling. Emotions oozed from her in a messy tangle. She scared him because she made him feel things too. Things he didn’t know he could feel.

  Deep, intense, moving things.

  Those feelings indicated weakness. Right? That’s what Gus had always told him. That’s what his stepfathers had shown him. What the SEALs had taught him. Men weren’t supposed to admit when they were lonely or scared or vulnerable. They were supposed to have heart attacks and leave their families with lots of insurance. Heroic men didn’t get all touchy-feely about what was going on in their heads and their hearts. They sucked up their disappointments and swallowed them down like poison.

  But he didn’t want to do that anymore. He was weary of shutting off his emotions, pretending they didn’t matter, sublimating toughness for self-expression.

  When he’d been trained that way, how did a guy learn to change? Was it impossible? Was it too late?

  Could he ever hope to win Marlie back?

  Joel realized then that the fact he was even asking himself these hard questions was a step in the right direction. If he was willing to examine issues he’d previously ignored, that was progress.

  Joel thought of how she’d looked straddling his body, such a fierce expression on her cherubic little face as she’d locked the handcuffs in place, catching him completely by surprise. He grinned in spite of himself.

  She’d been wearing the dress he’d given her, looking all green and pink and dewy like spring. Yet at the same time, with her small mouth pressed in a determined line and her eyes narrowed, she’d looked more pugilistic than a championship boxer fighting to hang on to his title.

  God help him, he was in love.

  Stone-cold. Deaf, dumb, and blind in love.

  Joel wasn’t exactly sure when the lightbulb had switched on in his brain, but she’d gone to his head.

  And his heart.

  He had to get out of these handcuffs. Had to get out of here. Had to find Marlie before the wrong people got to her.

  And he had to apologize for all he was worth.

  The key to the handcuff was in his wallet, and his wallet was on the floor over by the refrigerator. And the refrigerator was eight feet from the bed. He should be able to drag the bed that far.

  She’d locked him down in an awkward position. His right arm was over his head, and she’d clamped the other end of the cuff in the middle of the rod metal of the headboard. But there was wrought-iron grillwork that prevented him from sliding the cuff all the way to the end of the headboard. If he tried to stand up, his body was bent over the bed, and he had trouble getting enough leverage to scoot the bed sideways toward his crumpled black denim jeans lying on the floor. Not to mention the uncomfortable position put added pressure on the gunshot wound at his right flank.

  His body was in a weakened condition. He hadn’t eaten enough protein in the last few days to help him heal properly, and the iron bedstead was heavier than it looked. He managed to drag the bed a couple of feet but then he had to stop, sit on the edge of the mattress, and rest a minute.

  If the SEALs could see him now, they’d be laughing their asses off.

  He glared down at the floor, spied one of the Angelina Avenger comic books lying open. He started to scoop it up and toss it out of his way when something caught his eye.

  Picking up the comic, he began to read, flipping the pages faster and faster. He’d read it last night, but the significance of the secondary story line hadn’t registered. He’d missed it because he’d been looking for conspiracy theories, not paying attention to the subplot involving Angelina’s personal life.

  When he’d finished reading the comic book from cover to cover twice, Joel knew not only why he’d been assigned to watch Marlie, but who held the key to a big chunk of the puzzle.

  His father.

  Marlie felt utterly broken.

  Darkness and confusion haunted her soul. The blood rushed to her head and her sight dimmed. She pulled over to the side of the road and cut the engine of Mel’s decrepit Impala. Resting her hands on the steering wheel, she dropped her head and allowed herself to mourn the loss of her short-lived bliss.

  “Dear God, how can it be?” she cried. “How could I have fallen in love with a man who has so deceived me? A liar, a cheat, a traitor. I made love with him. I took his body into mine, tasted his lips, felt his heartbeat; I loved him—and he was only using me.”

  Her body trembled and her stomach rose up to crowd her throat, the taste of bile bitter in her mouth.

  “I should have known better. I did know better. And yet I foolishly let myself fall for him. Why? Why? Why?”

  Her anguish was vast. Deeper, wider, sharper than any physical pain she’d ever experienced. It tore at her with vicious claws. Ripped and shredded and gnawed.

  She felt nameless, faceless, stripped of everything she held dear. No home, no mother, no father, no love.

  Nothing.

  Not quite, Angelina said. You’ve got yourself. You’ve already proved it. Inside you there’s a core of something more.

  “Yeah,” Marlie muttered. “And it’s you.”

  I am you.

  “No you’re not. You’re this courageous, fearless, independent Amazon-warrior woman I created in my head. I’m nothing like you. I’m scared and small and . . .”

  Braver than you give yourself credit for.

  “I’m not.”

  Stop being so cautious and nearsighted. Take your glasses off and really see.

  “If I take my glasses off, I won’t be able to drive.”

  I’m speaking metaphorically and you know it, Angelina said saucily. Look around you, Marlie, and get a good look at the big picture. See where you fit in and how you can trust others.

  “Uh, excuse me. Have you not been listening? I just trusted Joel and look what happened.”

  You didn’t really trust him.

  “Yes, I did. I gave him my heart and he stomped on it. Rather savagely I might add.”

  If you really trusted him you wouldn’t have stormed out of there. You would have given him a chance to explain. But you don’t want to know that he could be trusted. You wanted him to screw up to prove yourself right.

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  Is it?

  Was there some truth to what Angelina was saying? Had she given up on Joel too soon? Was she laying blame on him that really might lie with her? Was she so unpracticed at faith that she had no real idea what it was?

  Ev
en if he had betrayed her, shouldn’t she give him a chance to redeem himself?

  And give him the opportunity to hurt her all over again? Did she look like an idiot or what?

  You gave up on Cosmo when he took a job at ONI, and you perceived his leaving as a betrayal. But then he came through for you. Your trust in him wasn’t misguided.

  But there was so much more at stake with Joel. She was in love with him.

  All the more reason to trust that he’ll come through for you.

  But it was so hard changing the patterns of a lifetime, and what if she gave him a second chance, only to discover in the end that she’d been right all along and he wasn’t trustworthy? She couldn’t take that risk. It hurt too damned much.

  In her mind’s eye she saw Joel as a ten-year-old, helping her build sand castles on Mustang Island. She knew now why the condo on the beach had looked so familiar. Her family had spent a week there with Joel’s family that dreamy summer. How ironic that the only boy she’d ever had a crush on was the same man who’d just broken her heart.

  Forget him.

  She had to stop thinking about Joel. Focusing on what had gone wrong with their relationship was bringing her down when she needed all her mental energy for finding out what had happened to her mother. She couldn’t rely on anyone to save her.

  She was in this alone.

  She had to be her own hero.

  Joel finally pulled the bed close enough to reach his pants and was working on dragging them to him with his foot when a sound from inside the warehouse arrested his attention.

  Was it Marlie? Had she gotten over her pique and come back to unlock him?

  He sure as hell hoped so, because he was damn worried about her running around out there alone unprotected, but he didn’t want her to catch him like this, handcuffed naked to the bed and fishing for his pants with his toe.

  Another inch closer and he was able to bend down and snatch the pants up off the ground. One-handed he took his wallet from the back pocket and rummaged around inside looking for the key to the handcuffs.

  More noise from inside the warehouse.

  Hurry, get yourself undone before she gets here. In his haste, he fumbled his wallet. The key dropped out, hit the floor, bounced twice, and disappeared under the refrigerator.