by Eric Vall
“There’s something here,” Invidia shuddered, “trust me. I spend ninety percent of my time alone and I, like, have grown a sixth sense for the feeling. We’re not alone.”
That’s what I was afraid of.
“Keep your eyes peeled, people,” I warned. “We’re about to head out into an open field.”
“Mmmmm,” Ira giggled, “peeled eyes. Now that’s something I haven’t tried in centuries.”
“Wait, we’re not going to the castle?” Tris asked with a dejected pout. “I totally wanted to see what kinda shows are on the magic mirror here in the Shadow World.”
“I’m just wondering if we’re gonna run into all the people that Yugi banished here, bro,” Todd added. “I totally wanna meet Pegasus and Kaiba and all those jabronis, just so I can kick ‘em in the ass and tell them what little bitches they are.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s just a TV show, bro,” I reminded the imp, “also, this is the Shadow World, not the Shadow Realm.”
Todd’s brow furrowed as a frown spread across his face. Then he shook his head vigorously.
“I totally knew that,” he chuckled, “I was just testing you. Only a total idiot would think that show was real. Like a complete fucking moron. But I’m proud to announce you’ve passed the test, Jakey!”
“Thanks,” I rolled my eyes at the imp, “but to answer your question, Tris … we already know what we’re going to find in the castle. Also, I really, reaaallly don’t want to go into any confined spaces. That’s an ambush waiting to happen.”
“Eh,” Inpulsa shrugged, “bring ‘em on. I’ll fry ‘em all to a crisp with my new powers.”
“If they even work on Shadow People,” I reminded the yellow-haired beauty, “none of us really know the rules of this place.”
“Ugh, the rules,” Todd sighed dramatically, “I hear the dudes who make Stranger Things have a whole fucking book about how their ‘Shadow World’ works. A whole fucking book. I’m really hoping this place isn’t the same, bro.”
“Me either,” I admitted as I started to head west, “I’m still not one-hundred percent sure what all the rules of Hell are, either. I don’t need another giant set of laws and codes and rules to learn.”
“Hell really doesn’t have that many rules,” Deja explained, “mainly, don’t piss of Lucifer, and obey whoever your superiors are. That’s about it.”
“It’s a total drag,” Invidia added. “That is, until we were conquered by King Ralston.”
“Please,” I chuckled, “I didn’t ‘conquer’ any of you. You all know you’re free to leave whenever you’d like.”
“Oh, I’d say you ‘conquered’ us, alright,” Eclipse purred as she placed her hand against the back of my armor. “What else would you call that wonderful ceremony we all shared?”
“Vidia and I obviously weren’t at your ceremony,” Tris noted, “but ours involved so much domination I think even you were weirded out, weren’t you, Ira?”
“Are you kidding me?” the Sister of Wrath cooed. “I was the one doing most of the coordination. It’s a lot harder to arrange an orgy than it looks, you know. I had to keep track of which hole Jacob filled.”
“Sounds like our old DnD sessions,” Todd snickered, “only with a lot less fucking.”
“Our ceremony was very much like that,” Inpulsa smiled as she fondly reminisced, “Jacob’s monster hog, filling each and every one of us with his seed … It was by far the greatest day of my life.”
“I second that,” Eclipse purred. “I wish we could go back and do it all over again.”
“We’ll see,” I reminded her with a wink, “I promise there’s plenty more where that came from.”
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Todd gagged heartily. “Please stop talking about my best bro’s love juice. Whatever happened within your little orgies is between you guys and the Exalted One. And the maid, because there’s no way in hell those stains are coming out of the carpet.”
“It wasn’t an orgy!” Deja protested. “We’re much classier than that.”
“Exactly,” Eclipse added, “it was a sacred ceremony that just so happened to involve sex.”
“Lots and looooots of sex,” Invidia sighed happily.
“For hours on end,” Ira cooed.
“And the best part?” Tris finished it off. “I barely had to do anything but lay there!”
As much as I wanted to reminisce about the two ceremonies, I couldn’t help but wonder where all the monsters were. Lilith had said this place contained all of the creatures my father and the Exalted One couldn’t control.
Yet, we seemed to be alone. Uneasy, with a feeling like we were being watched, but still alone.
“Jacob?” Inpulsa’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. “You alright? Because I don’t think Todd is.”
I looked over and saw the imp was doubled over and rolfing up everything he’d eaten for breakfast this morning. Once he was done, he wiped the vomit from his lips with the back of his hand and then slunk back over to us.
“I’m sorry, bro,” he sighed, “you know how I get when you guys talk about your--”
The imp stopped mid-sentence to hold back more bile. His cheeks widened, now filled with the disgusting liquid, but he simply held up his finger and silently told me to wait.
“Oh, no, Todd … ” I started, but it was too late.
I watched in disgust as Todd swallowed the vomit back down with a large gulp, shuddered, and then belched.
“Sorry about that, Jakey,” he shrugged, “now, what were we talking about?”
“How you’re never going to do that again,” Eclipse warned as her face twisted in a look of revulsion.
“What’s wrong, Lizbeth?” he giggled. “I thought you succubi liked to swallow?”
All of us groaned at the terrible joke as Todd made a snare drum sound with his mouth.
“I’m here ‘till Thursday,” he added in a Rodney Dangerfield voice. “Did I ever tell you the one about--”
Suddenly, the air around us was filled with a loud, inhuman roar. The ground shook violently underneath our feet, and there was now a foul stench in the air. The stench reminded me of a mixture between black tar, sulfur, and ammonia, and I nearly lost my lunch as it wafted through my nostrils.
“What was that?” Deja gasped.
“Whatever it is,” Ira cackled, “it sounds fun!”
Then we saw it.
Over the horizon lumbered a massive quadruped. This thing looked like it belonged in the Shadow World. It was still hundreds of feet away from us, but it still appeared to be at least fifteen feet tall and almost equally as wide.
It had large, slanted red eyes that sat just above gnashing white fangs, and its entire body was as dark as a midnight shadow. Like the other creatures of this world, the edges of its body were nebulous, almost as if it had no natural form whatsoever.
However, if it was anything like the other things in this place, it wasn’t as translucent as it appeared.
“Well, that explains where all of your Shadow People are,” Inpulsa explained sarcastically, “probably all gobbled up by that thing.”
“Or they’re in hiding,” Invidia added as she summoned forth her double-sided dagger. “Maybe they’re like, afraid of this guy or something. I think he’s kinda cute.”
“Cute or not, I’m about to pump him full of lead,” Tris noted as she whipped out her dual Tommy guns. “Harold and Kumar are gonna eat well tonight, boys.”
“Her one-liners are getting soooo much better, bro,” Todd whispered.
I summoned red Hellfire into my hands, but the spell was much weaker than normal. When I tried to enchant the Unhallowed Sword, the blade glowed much more dimly than usual.
Well, shit.
Lilith warned us our powers would be weaker here, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad.
Luckily, there was still one power set that was in perfect condition.
“Deja?” I questioned as I dug in my feet and prepared for bat
tle. “How confident are you in your long-distance ability?”
“Normally, I’d say ‘not very,’” the tan woman mused, “but that thing is bigger than the broad side of a barn, so I know I can hit it from here.”
The succubus called forth her spiked chain, enchanted it with her black Hellfire, and picked it up into the air.
Here in the Shadow World, her dark magic was amplified, and the black flames roared off the weapon as if it were an inky inferno.
Deja’s tongue stuck out of her mouth as she closed one eye and tried to get a good shot at the creature. Then she popped her tongue in her mouth, made a finger gun with her left hand, and pretended to pull the trigger. As she did so, her spear shot through the air with the speed of a bullet train and headed directly for the shadow creature.
The monster was about three hundred feet away from us now, and we were all preparing for the worst.
Deja’s weapon struck the thing in the left shoulder, pierced it all the way through, and then wrapped back around itself to form a sort of makeshift ring. Then the Cali-succubus yanked her glowing arms to the left, and her chain followed suit.
The creature let out a loud growl as it was pulled off-balance and thrown to the ground, where it rolled across the rocky landscape violently.
It was pretty obvious this thing was nothing more than a mindless beast. This should be a simple fight.
Or, at least, that’s what I hoped it would be.
“Todd, Tris!” I called out. “Fire at will, directly in front of you.”
“Okie dokie, bro!” the imp responded, and then he unleashed a series of red fireballs from his palms.
The flaming projectiles were smaller and less defined than the ones he could conjure on Earth Realm, but they still seemed to get the job done.
At the same time, Tris began to blast at the air with her Tommy guns.
Then I tried to summon up a portal of emerald flames. Nothing. My hand flickered with dark green sparks when I tried again, but it was no use.
My telekinetic magic didn’t seem to be working in this place.
“Green fire’s off the table, guys!” I announced through a growl. “But everything else seems to be working fine.”
“Our dark magic should be amplified!” Ira added as she summoned black Hellfire into her hands. “That should at least even the odds a little.”
The Shadow Monster finally stopped rolling, pulled himself back to his feet, and then reached up to grab his wounded shoulder. His dark hand grasped Deja’s chain, and he pulled it loose from his body with a hearty yank.
Even though Deja was trying to hold the line from afar, the beast was too strong. When he pulled her chain, it took her with it. The brunette was tossed violently to the ground, and she let out a grunt of pain as she landed. She released her spell on the Shadow Monster, who then nonchalantly tossed her chain to the side.
He turned around to face us as he let out an Earth-shaking roar of anger. Then the monster began to charge.
“Fuck!” I growled as I turned back toward the creature. “New plan. Light this bastard up with everything we’ve got! And Ira? See if you can shut him up. He’s gonna have every Shadow Person in this whole place on us if he keeps roaring like that.”
The darkness of the Shadow World was filled with flashes of red, yellow, and black as we launched everything we had at the fucker. However, this thing was way more agile than he looked.
The creature hopped, slid, and rolled out of the way of all of our attacks, and then he was upon us. Without missing a stride, he raised up a massive paw to take a swipe.
“Not so fast, Zuul!” Todd exclaimed as he threw out a couple balls of black flame.
We all averted our eyes as they exploded in midair, and the creature shrieked as it was temporarily blinded.
At the same time, Ira summoned her bat-like wings, leapt into the air, and flew up until she was level with the creature’s mouth. Then she called forth black Hellfire into her hands, clapped them together, and shot a massive blast of the spell directly into the Shadow Creature’s face.
The second she did so, her dark magic spread across the monster’s jaw like wildfire. The black flames wrapped around the back of his head as the ones in the front slid into his mouth and formed a giant red ball. Finally, Ira had finished her spell.
The creature was gagged.
“Now’s our chance!” I called out. “Tris and Deja, hold him in place!”
Tris holstered her Tommy guns and then summoned black Hellfire into her hands. She tossed down two massive blasts of the spell at the creature’s front two feet, and they transformed into makeshift sticky traps.
At the same time, Deja tried to surround herself with green flames and divide into two forms. However, just like mine before, all she got was sparks.
“Shit!” she gasped, and then she tossed her chain around the monster’s back leg.
The beast roared as he tried to escape the three traps, but he wasn’t going anywhere.
“Sheesh,” Eclipse chuckled as she dashed over to the monster’s free leg, “you guys and your performance issues … ”
The tattooed succubus summoned black Hellfire into her hands and then tossed out a black hole directly under the Shadow Monster’s final leg.
He let out a yelp of surprise as his foot disappeared into the abyss, and his body fell awkwardly to the side.
This was our chance.
Inpulsa had yellow Hellfire in one hand and black in the other. Without missing a beat, she clapped them together and launched a giant beam of dark electricity directly into the creature’s stomach.
It howled with pain at the attack, but it didn’t seem to be doing much damage.
“You wanna be a farmer?” Tris taunted as she raised her guns. “Because here’s a couple of acres!”
The Sister of Sloth unloaded into the creature’s underside, and he was quickly filled with dozens of tiny, bullet-sized holes. Dark black blood poured out of his wounds, but he was still alive and kicking.
That’s when he decided he’d had enough.
With one quick heave, the monster pulled himself loose from Tris’ traps. However, Eclipse was too fast for the bastard.
The tattooed beauty clapped her glowing black hands together, and the portal closed around the creature’s back leg.
He shrieked horrifically as his appendage was severed at the knee, and his tarry, black blood splashed out across the landscape like a runaway fire hose. The creature leaped up into the air above us, and his blood rained down onto our position like a waterfall.
The Shadow Monster’s gore covered us all with its warm, sticky consistency as the creature itself hobbled away.
“Uh, Jakey?” Todd gasped. “I can’t move, bro.”
I tried to turn and face the imp, but I was in the same predicament. My arms were pinned down to my side, and my legs were stuck to the ground as if the monster’s blood was super glue. The substance was as thick as a heavy blanket, and I couldn’t move any of my appendages save for the inch or two of resistance I had.
I couldn’t see the rest of my team, but they apparently were caught in the monster’s gore, too.
“I can’t move either!” Invidia gasped.
“Fucking helllll,” Inpulsa growled.
“Ohhhhhh,” Ira giggled. “What’s he gonna do to us now?”
This thing’s blood must have had the same sort of enchantment as Tris’ black Hellfire, because we were all stuck in place.
Even worse, the creature was coming back around.
“Jakey?” Todd shrieked as the beast approached. “You got a plan B?”
I closed my eyes and thought about everything that was at stake here. If I did nothing, my friends and I were going to be mauled to death by an oversized shadow puppy.
Or worse.
As I thought about the horrors of this possibility, I felt my defensive powers growing stronger. My hand glowed with purple Hellfire, and then I commanded my spell to create a barrier over our posit
ion.
Todd let out a girlish scream, but then there was the sound of a loud thud.
“Jesus shit, Jakey!” the imp panted. “Talk about waiting till the last minute!”
“We’re not out of this yet,” I growled as I tried to think up a plan.
This barrier wasn’t going to last very long, especially in its weakened Shadow World state. I needed a way out of this sticky prison, and I needed it fast.
“I’m trying to toss black holes at this thing,” Eclipse explained from behind me, “but I can’t aim for shit when my arms are trapped like this.”
“Can’t we just burn this shit off?” Inpulsa questioned aloud.
“Already tried,” Tris sighed, “it doesn’t work.”
“I’m trying to heal it off with my gold flames, but that’s not working,” Ira sighed.
“What about your bronze flames, Jacob?” Invidia asked. “Can you shake this shit off?”
“I’ll give it a shot,” I growled as I tried to pull myself loose from the sticky prison.
I called forth my bronze Hellfire and then unleashed it as hard as I could. My arms were still pinned down at my side, so the attack blasted into the ground beneath me at nearly point-blank range.
There was a loud thud behind my position, but other than that, all the spell did was shake me violently and give me a headache.
“You knocked him down!” Eclipse informed me. “But he’s getting back up, and he looks pissed off!”
Then it hit me.
My Divine Light.
It was super risky. The second I unleashed the massive blast of light, every single creature within a hundred-mile radius would know where we were.
But I didn’t really have any other choice.
So, I closed my eyes and attempted to concentrate. Images of my friends and family flitted through my mind, and I thought about all of my succubi … Todd, my best friend … my parents … all of my Divine allies … none of this would be possible without them. They gave me strength, and they were about to give me some more right now.
I felt my body surge with Divine magic, and then I opened up my eyes to see my entire figure was glowing. I opened up my hands as widely as I could, and a shockwave of blinding white light erupted from my very core.
